Folie a Deux, Episode 06

"Do you think he deserved a measure of vengeance?" the interviewer asks.

"Well yeah, of course. He'd gotten the shitty end of the stick. But at the same time, mom and Mike were dumbasses, but they weren't trying to hurt dad or anybody else. Making them suffer would just be dragging this whole ordeal out, and they wouldn't suffer alone."

We see Bob as the interviewer asks, "When did you learn how your wife and your son's affair began?"

"That Monday, the day after I kicked them out," Bob says. "Olivia tried to tell me. She got most of it out, but I was too mad to listen. I guess I didn't let her tell me the whole story for...a week? Maybe a little more."

"And what did you think?"

"I didn't believe it," he says with a shrug. "And not because I didn't think it was true, because who'd make up that story? And of course it fit with everything else I knew, everything I'd observed. So I bought the story. I just couldn't believe how stupid and cruel they'd been since then."

"It didn't give you more sympathy for them?"

Bob shrugs again. "I wasn't in the mood to be sympathetic. I told my lawyer I wanted to hit them with everything I could."

We return to Emily, who says, "Ms. Updike explained that it would almost certainly be possible to convince at least one member of a jury that our encounter with the Visigoths had left us with post-traumatic stress disorder and impaired our judgment. Mike was an adult when our relationship began, so there was no question of child sexual abuse. Furthermore, she explained that both the Minneapolis police department and the courts were particularly busy at that time and would be disinclined to pursue the case vigorously, given that there was no one whom the district attorney could identify as a particular victim."

"How did that make you feel?"the interviewer asks.

"Relieved, as far as it went. However, so much remained up to Bob. If he chose to pursue these charges vigorously, then a scandal was inevitable. Mike and I might not be facing prison time, but our present and future could still be irreparably damaged."

We see Bob now, looking vaguely unhappy. "Olivia harangued me every day about not going to the police about the incest charges. And of course I understood where she was coming from. I wasn't even angry at her anymore about not telling me, because she'd been in an impossible position. But...but I needed to see them pay. I needed it."

"In the end, though," the interviewer says, "you elected to let the matter of incest drop. Why?"

Bob makes an even more dissatisfied face. "Because my lawyer told me to. He'd met with Emily's lawyer to discuss things, of course. He said that what had happened with that bunch of bikers had made Emily and Mike into victims, and it would be hard to convince every member of a 12-person jury to send them to state prison for what they'd done in reaction to it."

Olivia now. "But there was more to it than that. Even I knew dad had almost as much to lose if this thing went public as Mike and mom did. They'd been victims of an unthinkable crime, and any decent lawyer and a lot of psychologists could explain their subsequent actions as PTSD. At least some people in the media would be sure to portray those two in a very sympathetic light, which would mean that they would have to portray dad in an unsympathetic light. At best he'd be the weak loser who'd gotten cucked by his own son, and at the worst he'd be the cold, cruel husband who'd driven his traumatized wife into an incestuous affair. He couldn't win, even if they got convicted and a maximum sentence. He'd always be that guy, and he'd never be able to put it behind him." She pauses, shaking her head sadly, and says, "Thank God he eventually listened."

"Finally I dropped the idea of going to the police," Bob tells us. "But I wasn't happy about it. I'm still not happy about it."

Mike reappears to say, "When we got the news that dad was dropping the incest angle, Emily and I were over the moon. She bought a couple bottles of champagne and we both got hammered, then had sloppy, drunken sex. It was great."

"A tremendous relief," Emily sighs. "Perhaps the greatest relief of my life. And not simply for its implications for Mike's freedom and future and my own, nor even for Olivia's life, even though she had as much to lose as any of us. I also was relieved for Bob."

"Why?" the interviewer asks.

"Because of what it avoided," Emily tells us. "Bob didn't deserve what Ms. Updike would have done to him in court -- what I would have helped Ms. Updike do to him."

"Which is?"

"Bob is a sweet, kind man," she says, again looking very resolute. "I love him still. But if he'd have threatened Mike's freedom or future, I would have portrayed him as a monster of the first order. I would have done everything in my power to destroy him. I would have smiled in the court as Ms. Updike burned him to the ground." One gets the sense that nobody -- nobody -- had best fuck with Emily Larsen's man if they know what's good for them.

"Which left the divorce settlement," Bob tells us as we see him again. "And I didn't get what I wanted there, either. I didn't want to give Emily a damned thing, and I wanted to fight for that position. But Micheletti talked me out of that too."

Back to Emily. "Over the years, I had actually made more money than Bob did most of the time. Bob has a mid-level civil service job, which paid a respectable salary but nothing extraordinary. I had my University professorship, money from dance lessons I provided, and whatever extra I could get from dancing in shows. Neither of us made very much, to be honest, but together we had been comfortable enough. Now that I was starting a new life with Mike, I wanted a fair division of our assets -- nothing more, but most certainly nothing less."

Returning to Bob, he says, "Given that I wasn't going after the incest angle with the police, Micheletti said we shouldn't bring it up in divorce court. Without that, there was nothing to hit Emily with. From the court's perspective, even if I'd have proven infidelity with a person or persons unspecified, it would just be a run-of-the-mill divorce case. And then he went on to explain that if I chose to go a more contentious route, then her lawyer would have no choice but to attack me in court with everything she had."

"Had you done anything to make you worry about that?"

"Well I didn't think I had," Bob says, "but Micheletti explained that a good lawyer could make the Dalai Lama look like Jeffrey Dahmer in court -- and Emily had a damned good lawyer . Everything I'd ever done or said would be twisted and construed in the worst possible light. He said, and I quote, 'I don't care how lily-white your soul is; when a good divorce lawyer gets done with you, your own mother won't take your calls.'"

"What was your reaction to that?"

"I was fucking infuriated," Bob says. "But that didn't mean he wasn't right. It ate me up inside, but by the end of November I'd been forced to back down and agree to...an amicable settlement."

"I am grateful for Bob's eventual decision," Emily tells us. "Given what had happened, it was the best we could have hoped for."

Mike again. "We spent a few days in the hotel, but it wasn't like we could live there. A couple days later we rented a truck, went back to the house, and got all our personal property. We were careful not to take anything that dad could contest in court. We got clothes and personal items only."

"Was that a difficult thing to do?" the interviewer asks.

"It was a weird trip, throwing 18 years of our lives into a few boxes," Mike nods. "But...but already the place didn't feel like my home anymore. I had memories in every corner, but Emily couldn't be there anymore, so it was just a house. Home was where she was."

We see Emily now. "We quickly found a small apartment together. One-bedroom flats are certainly affordable on a university professor's salary. It was in a quiet building in northeast Minneapolis." She pauses, smiles naughtily, and adds, "And it had excellent soundproofing."

"By the end of the week, we were moving in," Mike tells us. "We slept on the floor the first night because we didn't have any furniture, but that weekend we went shopping. It was pretty intense, setting up a whole household like that. It was fun though, because we made the decisions together. The house had been kind of...boring, so for the apartment we went more modern, brighter colors, that kind of thing. Big, sturdy bed that we had a lot of fun breaking in."

"Did that change your outlook on things?" the interviewer asks.

Mike nods vigorously. "Yeah it did. In the space of a week, I'd gone from living in a room in my parents house, the room I'd had since my earliest memories, to living in a new apartment with the woman I loved. That'll give you whiplash. But at the same time, it was...like I was an adult now. Really an adult. When I came back home at night, it was to a lover and a partner in a place that we shared. We could do what we wanted, when we wanted. We didn't have to hide anything. We spent every night in each other's arms, and the first thing we saw when we woke up every morning was each other. I loved it. I loved every second of it."

"I loved our little place together," Emily sighs happily. "The layout was inconvenient and the bathroom sink was forever clogging, but we were so happy there. For the first time, I learned what it was to truly live an independent life with someone I loved more than life itself. Every moment of it was joyful."

"There were no growing pains?" the interviewer asks. "Most relationships have them,"

"Oh, there were," Emily assures us. "There were disagreements, contention, the occasional fight. But even those were joyful, because they meant we were coming together as a couple in a way we hadn't been able to until then. A relationship without those sorts of friction points is too shallow to be worth anything anyway. Besides, we made it a point never to go to bed angry. Every conflict we had only brought us closer together when it was over."

"Just like any other couple?"

"You cannot imagine the happiness we found in being just like any other couple."

"We were learning how to be together, piece by piece," Mike says. "And there were some bumpy spots, but nothing that made us doubt what we had. We were just learning to be a unit. I remember being worried about the holidays, but they turned out great."

"Thanksgiving was our first holiday together as a couple," Emily tells us. "It wasn't the grand meal we normally had, but it was wonderful. Mike helped me prepare it, and after we ate I curled up in his arms on the sofa with a glass of wine. We watched Netflix. It was beautiful."

"Did you stay in touch with Olivia?"

Emily's face darkens a bit. "At first, yes."

"Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, Olivia spent some time with us," Mike says. "I think it was mostly because things were getting pretty bad with dad around then. At least that was what we thought from the hints she dropped. Emily and I didn't feel right asking too many questions. She came over a couple of days before Christmas and we exchanged presents, had dinner, hung out for a while. It was awkward, but it was really good to see her, too. I hoped that we could still be part of each other's lives."

Emily once more. "Olivia's attitude toward us started to change around Christmas. Up until then she had seemed eager to see us, as though she was reassuring herself that we were still part of her life. After, though, she seemed angrier. Within a couple of weeks, she'd stopped talking to Mike, and shortly thereafter I had my last conversation with her for a year and a half."

"Was something specific said?" the interviewer asked.

"No, not on either of our parts. Bob was having a very difficult time, and I think Olivia went from blaming Mike and I for that, to blaming us for destroying the family, to blaming us for being in love." She pauses, then says simply, "Divorce is hard on everyone in a family. We each cope in our own way."

"Olivia cutting us off hit Emily hard," Mike says. "Especially because Olivia never actually said what she was doing or why. She just stopped answering her phone, stopped answering texts, emails, social media posts. She just dropped us. Of course it was hard on her mother." He pauses and the corner of his mouth curls into a smile. "But then, she didn't have long to focus on that."

Emily again, smiling enormously. "On January 25th, I learned that I was pregnant."

The screen goes dark.

Instead of the expected credits, against the dark screen we hear Emily's voice. "When I learned I was pregnant with Mike, I felt trepidation for the changes it would wreak in my life. When I became pregnant with Olivia, I was too overwhelmed by school, already having an infant to care for, and making the marriage to Bob work to have a happy reaction. When I learned I was carrying Mike's child, I screamed for joy."

Emily appears again onscreen. Her hair is shorter and her makeup is subtly different, and she now wears a gray silk blouse. She looks very happy.

"I was nearing 40," she continues. "We had been having frequent unprotected sex for more than half a year by that point. I was not yet perimenopausal, but I knew my fertility was very low. I simply assumed that a child was out of the question. Life, it seems, is full of wondrous surprises."

The screen goes dark and we see the familiar white font:

Folie a Deux

Epilogue

Something new happens now. For the first time, we see two of our subjects onscreen together. Mike is now next to Emily, and both look very happy indeed. He too has changed. He sports a nascent beard and he wears a red shirt with a gray tie. "Right after we moved in together, Emily and I finally talked about children," he tells us. "She didn't think it was in the cards, and I was OK with that. I really was. But when we actually started having the conversation, I realized that I wanted kids with her. I really, really did. And if it didn't happen, it didn't happen. But I really wanted it to."

Emily watches Mike as he speaks. Her eyes sparkle and she smiles when she hears his voice. Her body language shows something that may be unexpected based on how she presents herself the rest of the time: she is deferring to Mike, letting him take the lead. When he is done talking, she says, "I began to have morning sickness around the middle of January. It wasn't every day, however, and it had been so long since the last time I'd had to deal with the signs of pregnancy that I'd rather forgotten them. It wasn't until the third week, when I missed my period, that I knew something was happening."

"Are you regular?" the interviewer asks -- it is the female interviewer from the odd-numbered episodes.

"I was, yes. I was very seldom off by more than a day, so when I was three days late and I was nauseous in the mornings, I bought a test."

"Did you tell Mike right away?"

"Not yet. I knew how much he wanted a child, and I didn't want to dash his hopes. The home test came back a clear positive, so I went to the doctor the next day and confirmed it." Her eyes sparkle. "I think it is the happiest I have ever been in my life. I was at work when I got the call from the doctor's office, and I screamed so loudly people came running."

"People at work didn't know who the father was, of course?"

"Oh no, of course not! I told them I had been trying to have another child, and the father was someone very special to me whom I would not be marrying."

"Given her inability to lie," Mike adds dryly, "sticking to the truth is the best option for her."

"I am aware of my limitations," Emily says with a prim smile, leaning into Mike a bit more.

"Mike, how did you feel about it when she told you?" the interviewer asks.

"I jumped up and down like a maniac and pumped my fist!" he laughs. "And then I took my girl to bed and we didn't get out until the next morning."

"Were you frightened? Many prospective parents are."

"Then I was just excited. Terror came later. But I knew I had the world's greatest mom by my side. If I screwed up, she'd catch me."

Emily beams at the compliment.

"Did you tell Bob and Olivia?" the interviewer asks.

"Not dad," Mike said, "We tried to tell Olivia. We sent texts, PMs, emails, voice mails. She didn't answer."

We now see Olivia. She has changed her hair color again, this time to a rich auburn that looks so good on her that it's easy to forget she's a natural blonde. She is wearing a green blouse with a tasteful gold braided necklace. "I got their messages. I didn't answer them because it made me even more pissed at them, and I was already really pissed at them."

"Why?" the interviewer asks.

"Because things had gotten really bad in my life and I blamed them, even for things that weren't their fault. Plus I thought Mike knocking mom up was disgusting. I thought about birth defects and all that. I thought they were gonna spawn a little mutant. Turns out there's not nearly as much risk as the hype says, but I didn't know that.""

"What were things like at your home?"

"The first couple weeks after the big blowup were rough as hell. I was still crying myself to sleep most nights. And dad wasn't making it any easier, because...well, it had wrecked him. Just destroyed him. And I got it, because it would have done the same to me if I was in his place. How the hell do you deal with that?"

"How did you deal with your side of things?" the interviewer asks.

She shrugs. "I did the best I could. Once the first shock of it wore off, there was this walking-on-eggshells tension in the house all the time. Dad was constantly angry. He was careful not to take it out on me -- he tried really hard. But sometimes he'd go down the basement and just yell. Like that bullshit primal scream therapy, right? Only he wasn't doing it for therapy, it was just a release valve so that his head wouldn't explode. One time I came home and there was a hole in the kitchen wall from where he'd kicked it."

"Did you ever feel threatened?"

"Oh no, it wasn't like that. My dad would never harm a hair on my head, I knew that. But I also knew he had so much bottled-up rage that it was tearing him apart."

Bob appears now, wearing a mint green Oxford shirt that makes his ice-blue eyes stand out startlingly. "Olivia told me I should see a therapist. I even tried a couple of sessions, but I guess I wasn't a very good patient. For therapy to work, you need to want to let go of what's messing you up, and I didn't. I really, really wanted to hold onto my rage."

"Why?" the interviewer asks.

"Because it was all I had left. When you lose your whole life except for one thing, that thing becomes pretty damned precious to you. Even if it is poison."

'And your anger was poisonous?"

"Anger usually is."

"How did you cope with that?"

Another sardonic smile plays across Bob's lips. "'Maladaptively,' as therapists might say. I started drinking more often...a lot more often. I stopped going to the gym. I sort of fell apart for a while there."

"It was killing me to see dad," Olivia sighs. "He tried to hide his drinking from me, but I knew. He was drunk a lot of the time when he was home. He'd always been in good shape, but he started putting on weight, eating like shit and and drinking too many calories."

"That must have been difficult to watch," the interviewer says.

"Yeah. Yeah, it was. He just sank into himself. I had to take over washing clothes and cleaning the house or it wouldn't have gotten done. There were never meals cooked, except when I made them, and my cooking is...um...unspectacular. He got rid of the old bed and bought a new one, but most of the time he'd just pass out on the sofa."