Food and Sex TV Ep. 01

FOOD and SEX TV - Episode One - Caribbean Chicken

"Today on Food and Sex TV we are going to make a Caribbean Chicken Jerk with Rice. Cook it in a single pot. It's quick, it's easy, and it's delicious," said Skyler into Camera One.

"Jerk," said Naomi smiling into Camera Two, "like in jerk-off?"

"No," the beautiful black haired, mocha colored twenty something hostess said. "Jamaica was originally a Spanish Colony, when Britain took the island in 1655 the Spanish fled. Africans enslaved by the Spanish escaped into Jamaica's mountains where they intermarried with the local Taíno Indians. The Tainos had developed the seasonings and style of cooking. The Africans added the marinade and the cooking pits, and jerk was born."

"That is so interesting," the porcelain skinned, twenty-one year old blonde said into Camera Two. "How long does this recipe take to make?"

"About an hour start to finish," Skyler said, "fifteen minutes to prepare and then forty-five to cook afterwards."

"And like all of our recipes it feeds seven," said Naomi.

"I noticed that," said Skyler, "all of our recipes feed seven."

"Lisa said that seven was a lucky number," said Naomi.

"It's OK, keep rolling," the producer said to the cameraman, we will overdub 'Lisa said' out in post-production."

Jamie looked at Lisa and said, "that's fame for 'ya, write a TV show, and get your name overdubbed."

Jamie and I had come up with the concept of Food and Sex TV while writing at an erotic story board called literotica, it was kinda a joke, Lisa thought. But it seemed a big time Hollywood mogul named P. G. Biggershot was a fan, and he called somebody in the cable biz, and here we are, taping before a live studio audience on a pink converted catamaran houseboat floating in the middle of McGovern Lake.

The only thing that we aren't thrilled with, was that they recast Jamie and me. Something about having those cute little twenty somethings doing the cooking instead of us helping the ratings. I mean they are sweet girls, and truly cute but they totally lack experience. They are okay with the food part, but sometimes it requires multiple takes and a lot of hands on instruction from us, the technical advisors, to get the sex parts sorted out. Good thing they have us here for every taping. It's a no-clothing set so we are every bit as naked as the hosts of the show, the cameraman and the director. And that cameraman checks us out plenty.

"So," said Naomi, "the ingredients we need are about eight chicken breasts or thighs which is about four pounds of chicken, some paprika, salt, white pepper, black pepper, three tablespoons of jerk seasoning, some canola oil, a small diced white onion, a sprig of fresh thyme, two minced garlic cloves, two bay leaves, three cups of uncooked long grain rice, two cups of coconut milk, a pound of rinsed and drained red kidney beans, a jalapeno or scotch bonnet pepper."

"The scotch bonnet pepper is more authentic," said Skyler, "and much hotter."

"We preheat the oven to three-fifty," said Naomi, "and wash the chicken then wipe it with a paper towel. Dry rub your meat--"

"I don't have any meat," said Skyler, sadly.

"Trust me baby," said Naomi, handing her naked co-host a black leather apron with chrome studs, "you can get all you want girl, just ask or pout like you are doing right now. Dry rub your meat with a tablespoon of jerk seasoning, a pinch of salt and paprika." Naomi was also naked.

"Heat two tablespoons of canola oil in an oven safe pot or pan," said Skyler. "Add the chicken and brown it for three minutes on each side, then remove the chicken and set it aside."

"Remember folks," said Naomi, "always cook naked, but protect yourself."

"Wear an apron around hot grease," said Skyler, "paddles are fun, burns aren't."

"Wipe out your pan with a paper towel," said Naomi, "and heat another two tablespoons of canola oil, sauté your onions, thyme, garlic, and bay leaf until the mix is soft but not gold."

"That should take two or three minutes," said Skyler, "Then add the rice and the beans."

"And the remaining ingredients," said Naomi, "two cups of water, coconut milk, white pepper, remaining jerk seasoning, add your chicken, and bring the mixture to a boil, put it in the oven and cook it, uncovered until chicken is fully cooked."

"Which should be like thirty minutes or so," said Skyler.

"So what do we do for thirty minutes?" Said Naomi, "do I have to wait thirty minutes to eat?"

"Fortunately," said Skyler, "I have another recipe book, we can eat right now."

"But the oven is in use," said Naomi.

"This is a counter top recipe."

"Count me in," said Naomi, "But I don't recognize that recipe book."

"It's 'The Kama Sutra of Vātsyāyana,'" said Skyler, "It's more than just a recipe book, it's an ancient Indian Sanskrit text on sexuality, eroticism and emotional fulfillment in all facets of life. It says so right here on the jacket."

"Let's do one," said Naomi

"This one looks good," says Skyler, "the Speaker."

"OK."

"Here hop up on the counter," says Skyler, "lie on your back with your legs closed, and slightly bent at the knees."

Skyler laid down on Naomi putting her face between Naomi's legs, then she wrapped her arms around Naomi's legs and Naomi returned the favor. They began to nibble on and to lick one another.

"Kids," Lisa said, "always going for what is easy. Jamie, want to do the Pisces?"

"With you any day, lover."

Lisa stood next to the kitchen island on the set, with her feet shoulder width apart, and just outside the camera's field of vision. Jamie did a handstand in front of Lisa facing her. Lisa held Jamie by her waist and slowly lifted her a few inches against her body until Jamie's thighs sat on Lisa's shoulder. Lisa stood still and Jamie wrapped her legs around Lisa's head embracing her with her legs. Jamie's closed shins encircled Lisa's head and her neck above, and she held Lisa's buttocks with her hands below. Lisa wrapped her arms around her lover's back using her hands on Jamie's to hold her in place, upside down, limbs intertwined in front of her.

Jamie and Lisa provided one another with kisses and nibbles and licks. A deep loving mutual oral affection, simultaneous cunnilingus. Energetic, each lover did her part, her best to provide the other with a sensory overload. excitement. Having fifty years of shared experience providing pleasure to one another. There may be little to discover, but there is a profound sensual communication each with the other in the most meaningful way.

Each touch is welcome, a beautiful sensual stimulation given to a lover. They are touching, smelling, feeling, tasting, and even hearing the other. There is no stopping, only doing, as neither partner is ever still. There is no inhibition between these lovers, people who are excited while still relaxed, doing the most important thing in life. Communicating to each other the blessing that they were given in having another to care for and to love. Fulfilling their desire to communicate your sweet lovers desirability.

Lisa and Jamie enjoy each other more now than they ever have, because each day and each experience adds to the sum total. Partners, they are provided by Providence with the opportunity to snuggle each against the other's most sensitive and receptive parts, and to bless their partner in all of the possible ways that two humans can. Achieving literal mutual orgasm is an advanced skill, but our lovers know one another, and can vary tempo and intensity aligning with the other. So that today Jamie is the set trigger, and Lisa feels her as she 'sets.' Lisa breathes out, and just touches that hair trigger.

And they fired together.