All Comments on 'Fool Me Once'

I ended the story crying like a baby. Thank you.

But still gave it a 5.

Cried at the end.

I will read this again. Retirement is not bad enjoying your stories.

Yup not bad! Sugary sweet ending? I felt let down Carrie Never got a total B.T.B. yeah man! Burn the cunt KFC Kentucky Fried Cunt? Finger licken good! Love you all! GREG. OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE.

once trust has been broken in a marridge it's gone . been there done that. you never feel like the trust is there & it wasn't . the closeness leaves too

...to your story and that being Sean Michaels transformation to ''saint!'' Serial sexual predator and coercer who ruined lives with impunity and glee when he could not force others to provide him with sexual favors. Marriages ruined, lives and psyches destroyed of those who gave into his cruel demands. A bastard who used his power and wealth to rape one female, married and single after another has a come to Jesus moment and is canonized. That turn of personalityty to me was too contrived to be believed.

More likely he ended up crippled or dead.

While that unbelievable transformation did not detract from my utter enjoyment of your excellent submission, that part of the epilogue left soured the ending. Fact is no need existed to say anything much about him in epilogue

STILL I HAVE READ MOST OF YOUR STORIES SEVERAL TIMES OVER

√&√

I enjoyed it as much this time as I did the first time. Thank you again for your time and efforts

Couldn't put it down!

Thanks for another terrific read!

I can't take the "more than generous" bullshit any longer. If the writer was actually an American, he'd know that the male American ego is all about revenge and retribution. When the man is disrespected and dishonored in this kind of fashion, he strikes back to hurt.

Remember Pearl Harbor? I don't think the people of Hiroshima and Nagasaki feel like they were treated "more than fair" and that's the same mentality you're dealing with here, betrayal, and crushing pain and hurt inflicted upon an innocent party.

No, an average American male would make sure she got nothing at all. That would be his goal, after all why should she be rewarded for shitting on the marriage.

Definitely well put together. Of course, not sure why there would be any suspense or even desire for revenge regarding the ending. The author did a great job of illustrating how their marriage was never the same after he caught her the first time. Given that, it was inevitable that she cheat again. This is a great example of why the marriage should have been ended after the first time. If you're not going to give yourself fully to it, just end it.

Each time I read another of this author's stories, I seeming enjoy it even more than the previous one. This simply cannot possibly continue. But, I surely hope it does.

I totally loved this story. Too bad I could only give it 5 stars.

Second time I read it and just as brilliant as the first time carry on

... excessively long and tedious...

I Had To Laugh Out Loud When Ryan Smashed Marshall's Ball And After-ward Videotaping His Wife Wish I Was There To Cop Feel Of Her Ass Too

Bravo Longhorn Keep It Up

..... this story is reread. It sometimes pops up in a search, intend to read just a favorite section, and then get hooked again. Mucho thanks to the author.

The author's handle should be LONGWIND-07 !!!

I think this would make a good movie script!

Lol some people are never happy, it's only a fucking story not real life.

Haven't read that much since highschool, once i started i couldn't stop. As a man cheated on by his wife i had to see what kind of retribution would play out. But the wife didn't suffer enough.

This was aclassic noir revenge tale, if a bit longer than it would have been in the pulps. Tightly wound suspense with vivid characterization. I could not put it down. End of story....(Mike drop)

5****

This was an Epilogue done right. This was way better than I expected it to be.

Second reading...even better than 1st...

Here the author treats the cheater wife and her lover similar XXI. Century method as FrancisMacomber wrote in "The Six O'Clock News Shot".

DGHear writes "Another Chance" where he showed the results of the XIX .Century solution could be prison time in high % with the fate of 2 charecters!

I enjoyed every word of this. What a fine job you've done. Thank you!

Enjoyed it as much the second time as I did the first. Thank you

If Carrie could do so much sense-making and give all the answers about how she rationalized couldn't she have had enough sense to see through the hypocrisy of her thought processes; she merely needed an excuse; a guilt trip does only that, once caught, and with loss of reputation and trust, there was no point in pretending and toughing it out as a good wife; have fun as well. There's always a reason for cheating that is never reason enough.

damn I love that wild ass state........

These protag parents are dropping like flies!!

This was a bit too pat. Every piece fell into place without much friction that might have helped to create more interest or any tension. Still, Longhorn has penned some great ones so I stuck it out.

"I don't think the people of Hiroshima and Nagasaki feel like they were treated "more than fair" and that's the same mentality you're dealing with here, betrayal, and crushing pain and hurt inflicted upon an innocent party."

You should ask any of the few survivors of the 200,000 women that were raped by Japanese soldiers 15-20 times a day for the entirety of the war how they feel about the 'innocence' of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Maybe then you'll realize how stupid that false equivalence is.

High on word count, low on erotica, way low on interest.

Way too many words to say very little.

I thought this was a great story. Very long, yeah, but very, very nice. I really don’t get all the negative comments. I mean jeez, if you want erotica there’s a whole damn section called Erotic Stories, or something like that. The story was great, the characters were very well developed, and the plot was well executed. What the heck else is there?!

Five Stars! A really NICE story all the way around, with the best outcomes for everybody concerned. While it is a bit long Literotica standards, it was a joy to read from beginning to end.

Thank you, Longhorn__07 for an engaging and well put together tale.

Too too long.

Aside from a few grammatical errors, this was a good story.

Thank you

It read so well that the length did not even bother me. Longhorn-07 thanks for sharing this wonderfully spun tale. The bitch and her paramour got their comeuppance and the couple and their children lived happily ever after!

Probably the best story I've read on Literotica. Thank you!

As good as the first. A bit long, as mentioned by others, but still a pleasure to read. The 20 years in prison for the cheating husband was a little much though. Oh well, it's not my story. Easy to read, except for a few (very few) typos. You are very talented. I'd like to see you try your hand at some shorter stories. They're not easy to do. Thanks for sharing with us. Sex scenes were not bad, other than being drawn out way too long. Sex with new partners never gets drawn out that way. Just sayin.

A 4.😊

Is Ryan Robin Hood really? He is just an asshole. His wife is slut, and cutted balls or half of life in prison are a penalty for that. Lie down to Federals, use mexican maphia, and finally spend stolen money to kill people in Venezuela. What a nice man!

...that was painful! I'm thinking the author is carrying some major baggage from a previous relationship and expressed every ounce of his frustration and anger in this epistle. I should have hit the "BACK" button the instant that steel-toed boot collided with his wife's lover's balls and her pussy...Ugh!

I really enjoyed this one. Well done and thank you!

1. The cheating rate is 55% for wives and 60% is for the husbands.

2. The cheater spouses are thieves, time thieves, because the cheaters steal that time from the faithful spouses:

2.1. because the faithful spouses could look for extramarital sex activity (sex with other women or other men, prostitutes, etc) if the faithful spouses stay married for example for the sake of the kids.

2.2. because the faithful spouse could divorce in time to look for newer mate for themselves. The cheating spouses steal this time from the faithful spouses to find other newer mate!

3. According to the 2. paragraph the cheater spouses decrease the FREEDOM of the faithful spouses to decide about their fate and only the decision about the fate of their marriage go to the hands of the cheaters. This decreases the all LIBERTY of the society in the all countries (From USA to Russia). The faithful (from the ignorant to cuckold or cheated on wives) became slaves of the cheater spouses!

4. According to surveys about 93% of the people told they do not like or even they hate their spouses cheat on them only 7% such people are who do not care about their spouses cheats or faithful at all! This mean the vast majority of the 55% cheater wives and 60% of the cheater husbands are HYPOCRITES!!!!!!!!!!

5. The divorce law in the most countries punishes the faithful spouses.

6. The BTB stories are popular, because the cheated on spouses get back their freedom and mend the mistake of the divorce law in the most BTB stories and they get back their backbone in them!

13 Sections but it as worth every word and sentence. I especially love the Louis L'Amour reference and that he lived according to the Western code in in a modern society! The bitch and her paramour got their comeuppance!

I'm not sure this belongs in the “Loving Wives” category. As a general rule, adulterous ex-wives are not classified as “Loving”. Sorry, just trying to point out the obvious. Also, the 'erotica' part in the name of the site 'Liberotica' pretty much says what the primary emphasis is on when reading a story. You probably should have put this in the 'Non-erotic' section. Sure there was some sex but come one, I've read more sex in a Faye Kellerman novel. Now, don't misunderstand me, you are a good writer and story teller. This story is en example of that talent. I don't regret reading this story at all; as a matter of fact I enjoyed most of it but, this is not at all what I expected.

Yes there is a lot of detail normal left out. Questions were answered that I would think about later after completion of reading the story. Yes, some of the wording was off but, I understood the story just fine without a degree.

He married a whore, who acted like a whore when it suited her. She'll die a whore. The only mystery is, why couldn't Ryan tell that Carrie was a shallow selfish stupid whore before he married her? In my experience women that evil and cruel are about as hard to spot as a bat in a cage full of song birds.

Thanks for your time and talent.

Really enjoyed this one.

You are my new favorite author. Your writing skills are outstanding. Your attention to detail is superior to most every other writer on this site. Kudos to you. 5++ stars.

I like your writings, Its a good story, But I don't see any difference to it than the other stories I've been reading here. Wife cheats, gets caught, offended hubby divorces her and she end up alone and with a menial job or destitute, Meanwhile hubby ends up with more money than he could spend in two lifetimes, hubby also ends up with the most beautiful and loyal wife in the world. You did thirteen pages where if you had left out all the repetitions it would have fit very nicely in two pages. Now another thing! If the offended husband is such a great guy and the best lover possible as he's portrayed in this stories. Why then would the wife want to cheat on such a great lover and all around guy? No answer? Oh and an old goat is a chivo. I think you're confusing cabron with cabrito, which is a kid. Anyway I did enjoyed the story, it just didn't do anything for me. You're a great writer don't take this as critisism but rather input for your next great story.

@widowedidiot

1. You are in 1930-1940 years about the cheating of women. Today the wives's cheating rate so high that it reached or near to the husband's cheating rate!

Today good husbands live cheating wives with high % reality, so your first problem is annuled about this story.

2. We are on a fantasy story collection and the lucky divorced husbands from cheating wives could be not so high %, but we like reading about them.

3. I read about husbands with cheating wives in reality site on the web and I met such real interview where the divorced husband became succesful:

Husband with 3 kids in the East part of the USA. The wife found a partner from the west part of the USA through the Net. After Net affair she left her family to her Net lover. Divorce and the mother abandoned her kids at her divorced husband!

After 3 difficult years he met a divorced woman with 2 kids. Love, marriage, happiness............All right no big revenge, but success!

Why did they have to transfer the child seat from Consuela's sedan to the pickup? Couldn't they just have gone to dinner in her car, and saved all that time, not to mention Belinda's nerves?

BTB with a difference, and not continuous moaning about the wrongs done.

Staring Viggo Mortensen as Ryan, Margot Robbie as Carrie, Eva Mendez as Connie and Topher Grace as Sean. At least that's how it played out in my head. Loved this one.

OK I know it was meant to be Ryan, but there were a number of occurrences where Carrie was with Ryan, when it should have been Sean and vice versa. There were also a good few typos or missed words that changed the meaning of the sentence. None were major things but all took me out of the story for a few seconds while they were processed.

Be best if you get yourself an editor.

Other than that, maybe you could have trimmed some of the fluff but overall an enjoyable read with only 1 or 2 too few deaths. ;)

It did not start out as a revenge story but as a cheating wife story. It's hard to be!I've that a woman would cheat on her husband just to climb the management ladder. It did not seem they needed the money and than at the end when she was in prison talking about getting back with her husband saying she would never do it again. Boy that woman had a big set of brass balls . To bad to late should have thought about that before she cheated the first time. 5 stars not the first time to read this story.

cowboyridecc@yahoo.com/Ron

13 pages, i got to 9 because it bored me to death!!!!!

A fine story. Well written. But as others commented, too long. Somewhere about page 7 I started getting the feeling that the author wasn't writing the story as much as he was trying to impress the reader with his writing skills. There just seems to be too much elaboration of fine points or simply unnecessary explanations of minutia. The longer the story continued the more laborious it was to maintain interest. It was difficult not to simply skip to page 12 and get the story over with. More is not necessarily better.

I'll bet most of those complaining of the length never read a full book - not enough attention span. I think the length was justified as it continually added more detail and development to a great story.

Houston does not have a Riverwalk best I can determine although they do have a park in a wetlands area they're proud of. In fact there has been some bad mouthing between their residents and those of San Antonio claiming that city's famed riverwalk a "concrete ditch".

Could be better if shortened & more condensed

Did you really need that stupid ending?

I really enjoyed this.one. Long, complicated, and satisfying . Great double burn of both bitch and bastard. Happy ending too.

Loved reading this, great amount of detail and just the right length to make you feel you've had a good read.

Tremendous story. Well told. Justice for all !!

An excellent BTB story. I loved it.

...reading this story a number of times but always stopped when I saw the length because I wasn't ready to commit to a story of that length at the time. I finally stuck with it and I'm sure glad I did. 5🌟

I don't want to say "great story," and didn't even give the the 5 stars it warranted - it is well written and interesting - because, in the end, I CAN'T support the notion of promoting as a good guy (or two good 'guys' in this case) one that commits a felony and lets another take the blame.

Ironic that at the close, when the ex-wife admits that she felt like her cheating was "no harm, no foul" as long as Ryan didn't find out, Ryan disagreed. Yet there he is visiting his ex-wife in prison, having committed a major felony, and because he keeps it quiet he won't go to prison where he belongs for the bank fraud.

Anyway, keep up the great writing.

Tediously long.

I'm impressed. Lived in SA now for 8 years, regularly eat at the Golden Corral on NW 410, have been to Marble Falls numerous times and eaten at a little restaurant called the Blue Bonnet Cafe. If your little BBQ cafe is real I'd like to visit sometime. If you'll excuse me I have to read more of your stories. Signed: BTW

The story is fun and about epic revenge.

It is far fetched but enjoyable.

Critique -

A run through an editor would help. Sometimes the wrong word was used aND that was jarring. Also the use of Ron when you meant Ryan. Several things along that nature. Additionally the use of quotes is sometimes missed in speech as well. These are all things an editor can help with. I get you may want to do your own editing, but you will miss these.

I love it when the good guy wins, even if he has been bad. This was a great story and some of the extreme moralists in the 'Anon' category need to be told, YET AGAIN, This was a story and a damn GOOD one. 5 well deserved *****

Good story, but, and there is always a but. I think the embezzlement was definite overkill. The embarrassment of the outing of their affair should have been adequate.

A bit over the top but isn't that part of what LW seems to be about? The drama was fun. Banking details were close enough to correct (I work in the financial industry) to make that part a good read. Thanks for the story.

I know we wouldn't have the story if this happened, but wife cheats, is very sorry will do ANYTHING to save the marriage. Through much counseling and hard work, they do, even if things aren't perfect. After a while, the wife becomes disillusioned. Why not go to hubby and say something like, "I know it's my fault, and I appreciate how hard you've tried to put this behind us, but it's just not working. I think that maybe we should just part while we can still do so as much as friends as possible." But, no, the have to cheat, AGAIN!

"He was amazed to hear his wife deriding him, his small contractor company, their friends, and virtually every aspect of their lives together." - Not to repeat myself, but if she feels that way, why not admit that the reconciliation failed and end the farce?

Isn't she also deriding their friends?

He went hunting with her father? Was that before or after she convinced her parents that he abused her?

I don't see it as a show stopper that he had cameras in the bedroom and supposedly not in the kitchen. That's assuming that anyone gets a clue that that's where the passwords were captured.

"I can't believe he'd humiliate me this way," - Who, the man that took you back after you cheated on him before, that now you're cheating on AGAIN, AND bad-mouthing him to anyone that would listen, and now you can't believe that he'd humiliate you?!

"Had Gilchrist just maneuvered him into revealing the status of the investigation into the lost funds?" - Why would it be a secret that they're still trying to track down the money?

"I didn't mean to hurt you." - Now THAT'S bullshit! First of all, she cheats on him AGAIN after he reconciles with her, THEN, as if the cheating wasn't bad enough, she bad mouths him to everyone. How could she think for a second that wouldn't hurt him?

I enjoyed this one alot, going to put it into my favs list, 5 stars.

I understand the need to explain some details but, the story is a little too long.

It is a good story very detailed could have have had less details.

He was intelligent but extreme overkill in getting rid of clothes vhs etc etc

He said mad at wife more but punished him far greater

I still enjoyed

Sorry but as I was growing up I liked Mogen David Wine .. Yeah I know it is cheap but I Still Liked it . So that cost You a Star

Perfect length for an outstanding story.

A really good read granted a little slow in some spots but to me still a solid 5.

I love happy endings. Being a father with two Princesses, I know how he could be taken by Belinda. Having our two daughters provide us with grandchildren is a truly wonderful experience. Having those grandchildren grown up, some with kids of their own now and doing reasonably well. I found myself rooting for Ryan and Consuelo.

Very well done. You know how to write and how to make readers actually care about your characters. Thank you

Ryan destroyed all the videos and audio tapes he generated of Carrie’s affair BEFORE he knew he and Consuela had been able to abscond with the bank’s money; he was pleasantly “surprised” Sean’s passwords still worked for Consuela to make the money transfers. If the passwords had been changed, then that mode of revenge would have been blocked, and without the incriminating evidence of Connie’s adultery and affair, he would not have been able to push back against all of Carrie’s badmouthing of Ryan to all their friends and relatives, and this story would have ended on page 3 or 4.

It was just fortuitous that the idea to use the TV show “Busted” was found to give a double-wammy of legal/criminal ruin to Sean and Carrie AND to show all their friend’s and relatives that Carrie was a bad wife.

Nice, complete story. Loved it...

Yes really did enjoy this but this was just to long. 13 pages sorry but no I just had to cut out at least 10 pages . That’s when I started to really enjoy the story. So hate to say this but just them few pages was fantastic for me to understand what was going on in this story. So it made me feel was writing 13 pages worth it to me myself no. But hey 13 to everyone else and you Probably . Because you are a very talented writer I do feel guilty writing this . Because my attention span is low and I can only manage 7 pages before I throw in the towel. So sorry but had to give you 4 stars I just couldn’t do 13 pages.

Loved the story! Perpetrators punished justly. Victims compensated handsomely! I loved the ride this story took us on. Keep writing bloody good stuff.

Good, well crafted story. I didn't like the theft though. They could have destroyed the two and the bank with just the truth.

I loved this story...again the only thing I would have loved to see more of...how much the ex-wife suffered from getting caught...lol

I like epilogues, but yours was a little too big. BUT, the last line made for a wonderful ending

Not having a go but 13 pages? At least 8 pages were pointless filler. Gave it to the wife and she only read 5 pages and then she told me the story. She nailed it after 5 pages yet you stretched it out for 13. Quality is better than quantity. Just a thought.

CHUCK.

Good writing, only a few spelling errors & grammatical mistakes.

The only real problem I had was with the use of the seven million.

Surely a more constructive use could have been thought of. However, that’s your decision.

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

Are these legal statuettes clay or bronze?

I am curious about some of the unfavorable comments. I wonder if some of the ones who tell how to "improve" the story have ever written anything. I have never written anything post university for someone to read. I think this is a good story. Given that it is free, it is an EXCELLENT story. 5* since that is highest allowed.

People are moaning about the 13 pages - I think the content deserves it.

Great work.

I enjoyed it from start to finish. I have to admit to enjoying a good long read.

This story flowed beautifully and was very well written.

If you haven't already done so, I think it's time to move onto a novel. If I can help just ask.

ONLY ONE SMALL COMPLAINT: I'M NOT SURE THE MEETING IN THE PRISON YARD WAS NECESSARY UNLESS IT WAS JUST THE VEHICLE FOR RYAN TO MENTION HE WAS GETTING MARRIED TO CONSUELA ROBERTSON. IF THAT WAS THE REASON, THAT PART WAS A LITTLE TO LONG. I NEVER FELT SYMPATHY FOR THE WIFE UNTIL THEN - WHEN I HAD JUST A BIT.

Enjoyed this again! A little long but very nice read!

Baton Rouge Cajun Guy!

...story with interesting characters, good pace and realism. You are more than an accomplished writer; you are a true storyteller. Five enthusiastic ⭐️ s!

Sweet romance.