All Comments on 'Fool Me Twice'

Hooked1957 rocking the LW's category. ☆☆☆☆☆

I guess I didn’t like tossing slut around like it was on sale; kind of rubbed me the wrong way.

*****Damn that was a good storyline. Good storytelling. Thanks for sharing.

Wimps don't often get a second chance!

Loved it, thanks!

I loved it. Such a well written story. 5*

What happened to Traci?

Excellent story, thank you Hooky, l enjoyed it immensely.

Scores 5/5

"Where did it say they had no problem with infidelity?" - She cheated, ergo she had no problem with infidelity.

~

"Yup, funny how the guy doesn't find out they had gotten "a little stale" until after she cheats.

Isn't that how it usually goes? nothing new there." - Yes, that's how it usually goes here, doesn't make it right, just a cheap excuse to cheat.

Gave this one a 4, instead of the usual 5 I give to Hooked1957 stories. Seemed a little by-the-numbers, and there could have been more detail on the transition from the standard cheating Traci (in Hooked stories) to Lorraine. Still, it's Hooked1957, so even if not top shelf, nevertheless worth the read.

Great story! Cheaters should never be rewarded for their infidelity. 5 Stars, easy!

Good one. I don't remember ever reading about a husband finding out that the child wasn't his in quite this way. DNA via 'Ancestry dot com' type places, eye color, or skin color, but this is a new one. Congrats for that. Well done story, as yours usually are. Five thumbs up.

To the Anonymous reviewer who starts his comment with “two stars” and ends with “you have to look at the audience and why they're here. Literotica: erotic literature,” I don’t think you should speak so condescendingly and authoritatively about who the audience is and why they are here. Many very good writers on this site post stories, particularly in this category, that are not intended to be erotic or don’t have eroticism as their sole focus. Those stories are still read and appreciated by large swaths of the readership. This author, for instance, has almost 2,000 followers. I’d bet most of them aren’t following Hooked simply looking for the next stroke story. This story itself has a very strong rating and almost 28k views after only a few days, and I think those numbers are a more reliable indicator of what the audience wants than your subjective opinion. If you want to ding a story for a lack of explicit sex scenes or eroticism, that’s your prerogative as a reader and reviewer. However, if you’re well read enough in this genre to call out a “forgot-to-use-a-condom-because-of-your-vasectomy” excuse as being overdone, then you’re well read enough to know that many stories in this category---BTB or otherwise---don’t focus only on sex, so it’s disingenuous of you to claim you have no idea why a story would be placed in Loving Wives if it isn’t meant to be erotic. I do agree with your comment about the opening scene setting the story above many others. That hook didn’t work for you, but it did work very well for me, maybe because I’ve watched my own kids get injured on the soccer field. I immediately felt a connection with both the father and the daughter, and I was invested from that point forward in what happened to Karrie and in whether her father was able to help her. I have no problem when a reviewer says something didn’t work for them, especially when they take the time to offer constructive feedback, but in the future you should avoid assuming that what you are looking for in a story reflects the desires of the readership at large.

Nice story cleanly written. Worthy of a full five score. A nice twist with the first lover not being a match. The spontaneous remission was a _bit_ of a stretch though. Why not have made it a match from the registry and then there would be the specter of a third lover lurking out there? Or the registry being the bio dad? Just sayin'.

Hey Hooked! Thanks for the fun read!

Killian

Hey, dmann, what is "fupah?" I've heard of "fubar," Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition.

Best, sorry it worked out this way. He should have gone after the bank it was business trip after all.

I would never raise another mans child never! No matter the excuses

This idea of staying together for the kids is one of the most common reasons kids have horrible marriages later. The lack of trust is not as invisible as idiot adults think it is….

@Sbrooks103 "fupah" = "fucked up past all help"

Lukeey90: millions of men are rearing other men’s children. They’re called step-fathers. While there was no early divorce and remarriage in this story, he knew from the start he wasn’t the biological father.

Afanoffanlit: children of divorce, or no father at all, do even worse. Our prisons are filled with fatherless men.

title gave away the only interesting plotpoint in this AI generated story.

Wonderful opening and closing scenes

Great middle, too. Speaking as another father who rushed out on the field when his daughter was cold-cocked (no, not an oxymoron), yet another first-rate story. Your kudos locker must be overflowing, Dr. Hook.

To Anony who dropped out of the story and started skimming: You scored your own version of a hat trick, numbnuts: while rambling on for 534 words, you managed to be wrong and never even came close to right. feh

Great story, loved it, thank you.

First of all , well written story. I enjoyed it

One thought I did have though, if Traci had mended her ways and there had been no indiscretions in the 14+ years since Karrie's conception would you take this course of action? I am not saying it is the right or wrong action, it just seems the intervening years should have more weight on the outcome.

BUT, then we wouldn't have much of a story.

I hope you will take this in the way it is meant as a discussion point. Now that I have came across one of your stories I plan to read more. Thank you for sharing your talents with us.

@Kyuzio, thanks! I'll probably forget it tomorrow, LOL!

Clever. Good read, thanks.

You have a good plot initially but you blew it in the end. First of all, here 2 for 1 apply, assuming there were no other instances of cheating, apparently she could have been enticed for infidelity on the same trip and wasn't counting. This "whore" this and "whore" that is really a rather sad commentary on the man himself, including yourself who is writing about this sort of abuse. If you cannot stand the woman why not to divorce without abuse if she is remorseful and is not trying to extort the man. A man that is ready to abuse a woman that is not a bitch to him is a sorry person himself.

Second the end of the story is a wishy-washy telegraphic with a stereotypical rebound which cheapens the whole story. Why is that you BTB cliche writers always need to have "great" rebound? Don't you see how cheap of a cliche that is?

Good story! 5*

If she'd confessed all of her indiscretions when he found out there might have been a chance for a reconciliation but the dishonesty and disrespect were too much. I just wish we'd seen more of his courtship with Lorraine.

It is stories like this one where logic fails the author! If his wife hadn’t screwed Dowd and got pregnant with Karrie, she wouldn’t exist! So why would Karrie be upset with her mother cheating on her father? Technical Karrie should be happy that her mother cheated on her husband! Karrie was created by a specific eggs which was fertilized by Dowd’s sperm. The only reason that I can think of to explain this stupidity is that these commenters are Americans!

Anon it is stories,

You really are a dumbass. Karrie is glad to be alive but she's angry the man who raised her with love was hurt.

I tried to use short words. Did you follow that?

I am glad that Tom got a happy ending. My question is that after Tom kicked Traci to the curb what happened to her, nothing in the storyline, not that it really matters but there is usually a one liner saying what became of her in the end.

Nother good one

Another story about a man pretending he isn't pathetic with a Lit fetish for men who raise other mens progeny because of it.

Nice story, just not well written.

Keep practicing! I couldn’t write better either.

Bill S.

Hey Annie! I agree with the first part, disagree with the second and your third part is why I will never criticize a writer - I can't do better either. Still I have far more respect for you than the previous dumbass!

Thanks Hooked!

somewhere east of Omaha

Did the words DNA mean anything to the father . Just asking

Once again you have packed a rather full story into just a couple Lit pages.

Nicely written, especially so when the only error I struggled with is Karrie's age.

I again enjoyed the spectrum of comments, and laughed at many of them who demonstrate the reading comprehension of a first grader.

Just as a bit of a return snipe (with tongue in cheek) at the commenter who dismisses the wife's infidelity as "must be an American thing" - I believe it was forgivable to take the fellow American's bone 5 times, but one poke by a foreign dick was OTT. Ha! I'm laughing at my own joke...

Nice plot with a nice twist or two. Thanks, Hooker.

Keep 'em comin'.

It is definitely a short story. You need an editor; in the time it took Karrie to take the ambulance from the game to the hospital she aged from 12 to 14.

I think this is a fantastic story. Has all the love and heartbreaks to torment a person. Thanks for writing.

Excellent. When he told his mother about the pregnancy, she and his father berated him. They deserved a solid boot in the ass, before he explained how a divorce would impact their visitation with grandkids. Their response was reprehensible.

You never said whether Karrie met her biological father and his family.

Great story, well written. A 5. I think you could make it much longer.

How did Karrie play after a broken leg and after leukemia? A bit of a stretch.

Did Karrie meet her biological father? What's their relationship?

What had happen to Traci? Her relationship with all the children?

Karrie said it all. Traci was a cheap slut.

Great story I HATE HATE HATE cheaters and so glad she got found out (jaybee186)

Great tale.

Not my type of ending

Good story

Got to say, some lady named Traci must have seriously wronged the author as he seemingly uses that name for the cheating whore in all his stories. Makes it a bit confusing when you read them back-to-back.

So the new wife was married at 15 and child at 17? He was was 40, she was 15 years younger and had been married 10 years previously. 40-15=25-10=15. Some of these author///

Big guy…u need to re read…he said she was 15 years his junior at 40….SHE was 40…not him…he was 55….

What happened to the slut. Wound up living under a bridge???

5 years his junior...lets see 75 to 60.... sounds like another problem...but hey he probably will forgive her.

Why concentrate on the lovers' (plural intentional) children, rather than the lovers themselves?

\

@RR Re: Hook-up culture - Hook-up culture has nothing to do with infidelity. People who "hook-up" are generally expected to not be in committed relationships.

I have to say the line .....Are you fucking kidding me, slut? You don't get a two for one discount special on this. That was sheer class had me in tears .Aside from the leukaemia stuff I found this story very amusing good job mate .

Two for one - love it

The 'formula' gets old.

Slut cheats, gets caught.

You don't tell stories that accept redeeming qualities, (the clearly don't have any, in this universe.)

The magic, is the wondrous woman who's eager to snap our hero up from his despair.

Truly good women never make mistakes

They never succumb to experienced seducers.

They never stumble to 'one and dones'

Yet, the assholes that eagerly bed married women live on with cast iron balls.

The magic Formula survives on sacrosanct male egos.

Bullshit.

Staying on cuckishly "for the children" in these circumstnces doesn't work well for anyone and, except when the husband is an LW cuck reader, would result in divorce.

Appreciated you brought the kids fully into this tale and did not become preoccupied with the adults.

A lot of anon commenters have obviously never had kids.

4 Stars on a good story . I wonder why women say it was only Sex ? I heard that from my ex all the time as we were getting a divorce . She also told Me that Men had frail ego's . I just called her a slut and a whore

jsch1947

Want syrup on that waffle?

5 stars - I liked this story

This writer needs to publish the real life ‘Traci’s’ contact info ………for all the divorced guys that need to get some. She is the Arch Slut villain in every story. R. H.

"Don't go do something stupid." One of the man meaningless phrases that seem to appear endlessly in LW stories. As for the MC, he cucked out. You DON'T raise your wife's bastard child, and that child isn't "yours". This is nothing like adopting or marrying a widow or divorcee with children. IRL, nothing would be right in the marriage after the slutting and bastard chilkd, and it in truth teaches the children that you can fuck around and get away with it. This romanticization of raising a slut's child has nothing to do with reality.

To my critic TraLaLa Re: "Where did it say they had no problem with infidelity?" - Well, TRACI obviously didn't since she committed it!

\

Re: Caring about Traci, I wasn't commenting on the story, but responding to another comment.

Damn great story, absolutely loved it!!

Another good one. Unexpected, well thought out, twists & turns. Exceptional writing. Thanks. 5-😊😊😊😊😊

An absolute pleasure to read. The twists were suprising and the story has a happy ending.

Interesting story. As much as I like a BTB story, I didn find the ‘whore’ and ‘slut’ names to be over the top. (Yes I know it’s fiction). While her family might be livid, it’s doubtful they would resort to that language right away. Especially the children. Last, I’d like to have seen a follow up on Traci’s life.

Does believe in abortion but doesn't believe in marriage. These two sentences are contradictory. Only to used by the selfish people when it suits them. Either you follow or you don't follow.

To pbs2022. Not sure what you were rambling on about. First he believed in marriage. He did get married twice, duh.

Second how is your sentence about abortion and marriage contradictory. Your logic is pathetic. Do you follow or don't follow.

"Does believe in abortion but doesn't believe in marriage. These two sentences are contradictory..."

Your sentences are not at all coherent or factual.

I'm married, believe in a woman's right to choose to bring a life into the world or not. There are probably 2 million other marriages--in the US ALONE--that share my beliefs. We aren't contradicting anything except your contention.

It's amazing how in several sentences these anti-abortion lunies will say "it's murder to kill an unborn fetus..." and at the same time oppose any restrictions in guns, which allow people to murder people to the tune of 20,000 per year. It's like the unborn have MORE rights and privileges than just regular, born people do, in these moronic idiots' ideology.

Thank God for taxes or they wouldn't have subsidies for food in these gun-happy municipalities, where everyone is just itching for something or someone to shoot.

Agree with your other commentators, the whole story fails on the ridiculous idea of not having an abortion.

'Whore' and 'Slut' are the least of her worries. It's the truth, so own it. I just didn't get the why's. Why fuck two strange for just one week of the marriage? If that's the case, seems like she's been getting some strange all along wherever she can, and this is the tip of the iceberg.

You give respect when respect is due. A mom who fucks up her family by disrespecting her husband, dishonoring her vows, and breaking their trust, does not deserve respect, especially since she could even bother to tell the truth. She's earned being called whore and slut.

Thank you for letting the daughter live, I'm kind of cried out right now.

I believe in a woman's right to choice with 1 caveat, spousal notification, the husband has a right to know, not interfere, but to be notified that his wife is seeking an abortion, so that he can find out the circumstances and decide his choices as well. Because she either cheated or doesn't want his child, so he should be able to decide to cut her loose and find a better, honest wife.

So she only cheated twice in a marriage. Give me a break

Why should the baby be murdered to avoid her dealing with her actions? Sound like the only morals she has

Phil1c has finally motivated me to attack his nasty comments. He calls others morons because they believe in the 2nd Amendment. He doesn't understand that mean people are the problem, not firearms. Remove the inner cities of twelve U.S. cities from the statistics and the U.S. homicide rate becomes similar to Scandinavia. His vicious comments about others and their beliefs inspired me to read his stories. In one story, the MC's father is killed in a fight with a husband who objects to his nemesis porking his wife. In his other story, the MC has another man stomped to the extent of lasting internal injuries during a mugging. His condemnation of violence is hypocritical. Finally, his comment about abortion indicates he does not understand the argument. Those who oppose abortion do so because they believe it is murder of a baby. Those who favor abortion do not believe it is a baby until it is breathing on its own. Any other defense of abortion is the same as defending The killing of the infirm, aged, weak, or disabled. People of good conscience can disagree on whether there is a soul and an afterlife, and if there is such a soul then they can disagree upon the time it enters the body. That is the proper argument about abortion. It is not comparable to the right to own a firearm.

I , too, have read Phil’s stories and thought how different they are in comparison to his comments? Comparing legal gun ownership with abortions is a bridge too far. As much as the liberal left wants it, you’ll never take any of my guns , unless you can guarantee that Pedro, La’Fuquad, and Hillbilly Jim give theirs up too, and you can’t do that. Legal guns are here to stay, abortion not so much.

Hmmm... I suggest that the abortion rate is higher than the murder rate in the US, by a factor of more than thirty. (Not made up stat)

Secondly the anti-gun lobby refuses to acknowledge that Mexico's prohibitive gun laws have still resulted in a death rate by firearm that is more than 5 times that of the US per capita.

Once again the lunatic fringe on the one side of the debate uses the lunatic fringe on the other to justify their arguments

It puzzles me how people as stupid and evil as Phil manage to breath..

There is an old saying” God created man and Sam Colt created men equal.

Before simple to use weapons became widely available, humanity was governed by thuggery, the strong completely overwhelming the weak. The “king” want’s your land? Done. The village strongman wants your food? Done. The “lord” wants your wife and kids? Buh-bye wife and kids.

The first thing the Soviets did after that gained power was to cordially invite all the former milItaly officers to come to meetings to turn in their personal fire arms. After turning in their weapons they were murdered.

Mao killed up to a hundred million Chinese because they lacked the ability to defend themselves, Pol Pot only a few million.

If my guns remain in my gun safe where they always are, no one dies. If a doctor sticks a needled into a baby’s skull seconds before taking her first breath, sucks her brains out, tears her limb from limb before selling her body parts to the highest bidder a BABY DIES. NO civilized nation allows that. It is currently legal in California, New York, Colorado and several other left wing run.state…oh and North Korea. It was the bill EVERY DEMOCRAT in. Congress voted in favor of, only failing because the other party voted mostly against legalized infanticide.

Why would any sane person want to return to governance by thuggery.

5 Stars on this story . I had my best friend teach my Daughter Hand to Hand fighting . He is an former Marine and loves Hand to Hand . Before he joined the Marines I was pretty sure I could have taken him . I know that their is No way I could take him after his service .

Gun lovers and stroke stories. Seem to go together.

Nothing redeeming about accepting other men's children as your own.

How many times is this author going to write this story? He hasn’t least two others along the same plot

Excellent story, thank you.

Totally and completely Hooked - again. Five stars all the way.

Give me more stories like this! That was top shelf all the way.

True Love/Stupid=cuckoldX2

I liked it a lot. If the slut didn't already have children with the MC, kicking her to the curb would have been the only acceptable course. Since there were already children (presumably his, but I'd have them tested), there is some character in remaining married until they're out of the house.

.

Not sure that's the route I'd take, other avenues come to mind, but I can respect his choice.

Good story about a family in a tough spot, and the lying slut who kept her mouth shut until she had to speak.

Loved Karrie/ Karen, (how about you shut your whore mouth?).

I am not sure I could have stayed together for the kids, but our dedicated dad (and author) made it work.