Fool Me Twice . . . .

I told her I'd try and then we began talking about other things.

That Saturday Tim and I went to the game. The Stars were playing a ranked team and the stadium was sold out. We had a couple of beers before the game and then one at halftime.

Surprisingly the game was still close going into the fourth quarter. The other team was up by three and driving for the clinching touchdown with less than a minute to play.

Their quarterback threw a sideline pass that was tipped by our defensive lineman. The crisp pass was slowed by the tip and our safety plucked it out of mid air and returned it for a Stars touchdown. The Stars had upset their opponent!

The entire stadium (except the few opposing fans), went crazy. Tim and I hung around for a bit amidst the celebration. We eventually began to slowly leave the stadium in an upbeat mood. Even though it was late, nearly 11:30 we were energized by the football game.

"Hey," I said to Tim, "do you want to stop by that party?"

He agreed.

I began thinking about Mia. If she'd gone maybe she and I could hook up and end up back at my place. My excitement increased.

By the time we got to the apartment the party was still going strong. Tim and I went to the keg and sipped a beer as we talked to various acquaintances. I was also scanning the crowd for Mia. So far I hadn't seen her.

Tim got pulled off somewhere with a girl he knew and I just hovered around the keg chatting. I had my back to two guys, still students I gathered by their conversation. I heard them looking at girls, making comments. It was amusing to eavesdrop on these two.

"Look at that," one of them said, "she looks like she just got fucked!"

The comment drew my attention, I turned and saw them glancing upward toward the stairs. I saw a girl and some guy walking down the stairs, her arm around him, leaning into him. She had a bit of a disheveled look. Hair mussed, makeup slightly smeared.

But there was no doubt who it was and what she'd been up to. The guys behind me had described her accurately. She did look freshly fucked, and as you may have guessed I certainly recognized her.

It was Mia.

I froze for a moment. My first instinct was to confront her, but then I hesitated. I didn't want some big dramatic encounter at this party. I'd seen that type of scenario before. It was messy and embarrassing.

I decided to leave. I sent Tim a quick text. At these types of parties it was every man for himself. He texted me back with a thumbs up.

As I walked the short distance to my apartment I thought long and hard.

Mia and I had not made any stated formality to our relationship. We had not yet pledged exclusivity to one another. I guess I couldn't blame her. But I also didn't think I wanted to have a relationship with a woman that would screw me one weekend and then someone else the next.

I rationalized I shouldn't be mad at her, but I also thought about what I wanted. I wanted something more than a weekly booty call. It was obvious that our objectives were different.

By the time I arrived at my place I'd reached a resolution. No angry scenes, just an immediate severance of our relationship. I have to admit I'd really begun to care for her. It saddened me and I knew I would miss her. But as I'd decided, what I want and what apparently she wants were two different things.

The following day, Sunday, I just went about my regular weekend chores. Wash my truck, do some laundry, go for a run. What I didn't do was contact Mia.

Mid afternoon I received a text. 'how was the game?'

I didn't reply.

That evening there was another one, 'what are you up to? want to grab dinner?'

Once again I didn't reply. I went to bed, still saddened but resolute.

Monday at work she called my cell phone. I let it go to voicemail.

Monday evening after work and a pre-dinner run I was home at my apartment, Monday Night Football was on. I heard knocking on my door. I guessed who it likely was, and for a moment I considered just not answering.

But then I thought, this meeting was going to happen sometime. May as well get it over with. I told myself 'don't get angry, stay calm'. I opened the door.

"Hey you!" She said as I opened the door. "Where have you been?" She asked, a big happy smile on her face.

She moved to hug me hello. My response was not what she expected. I woodenly patted the small of her back. No enthusiasm.

She paused and looked at me with a confused look on her face. I'd always been affectionate with her. She could tell something was different.

"How are you doing?" She asked, studying my face still perplexed by my attitude change.

I told her I was doing fine, offering no details.

"Why haven't you called me?" She asked, "didn't you get my messages?"

I told her I haven't had a chance. It was obvious she wasn't buying this.

"Are you mad about something?" She asked.

I took a deep breath and sat down on a kitchen chair.

"Look Mia," I began, "I think you and I want different things out of this," I paused, "relationship. We've had some fun and it's been good to get to know you, but I think we are two different people."

She studied my face, her smile now gone, her brows wrinkled trying to understand what was happening.

"Are you dumping me?" She asked. "After all the things we've done together. Camping and fishing. That was just a week ago!? We had a great time. What happened? I thought things were going fine."

I could tell she was starting to get emotional. She just stared at me, not comprehending.

Finally I began. I told her I wasn't into casual dating. I wanted there to be a potential for a long term situation down the line. I told her I knew we had made no spoken commitments to one another, but for me, I wasn't interested in playing the field.

"I agree Patrick," she said to me. "I want all that too."

I sat looking at her with the slightest smile on my face. My head shook from side to side.

"What?" She asked.

I paused and then began talking about Saturday night.

"Tim and I went to the football game Saturday night," she was nodding her head, "we had a good time. The team won and everyone was in a good mood." I went on, "we decided to go over to the party."

"You were there?" She interrupted, a mixed look on her face.

I told her how we arrived and that I hoped I'd see her. I then told her I was standing by the keg and overheard the two guys talking about the freshly fucked looking girl walking down the stairs with some tall guy. I then stopped and just looked at her. The ball was now firmly in her court.

She was quiet for a minute digesting what I had said. Putting things together. The party and then the lack of call backs.

"Patrick, that was nothing, that was just Blake, a guy I went to St Thomas with. I hadn't seen him in a long time. He's just a friend." She pleaded.

I sat there staring at her. I was positive about what I saw. And then I asked her the key question.

"Did you have sex with him?" I calmly asked.

She sputtered. "Sex! What makes you think we had sex?" He's just an old friend from high school that I was catching up with."

I stood up. Gently but firmly I walked her to the door, my hand at the small of her back. She continued to protest. Finally, outside, on my front porch I told her I would think about things, I kissed her softly on the cheek, turned, entered my apartment and closed the door. I never looked back out as she slowly walked to her car, tears in her eyes.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --. -- --

The next year and a half was a mixture of things for me. I was really doing well at work. I'd taken the book of business they'd given me and nearly doubled it. In truth it wasn't that hard. As near as I could tell Larry was barely working half time. It wasn't hard to improve on that.

The other good thing was that my friend, Tim Paris, was doing a good job managing my money. I was pleased to see my investments growing at a double digit rate.

I considered buying a house, I certainly could afford a substantial down payment. But to be honest I was lonely. I wanted a woman in my life. I was concerned if I bought a house and lived there alone it may make things seem more lonely.

I dated several women over the past year or so. Nothing really lasted too long. The longest was a woman named Hillary. Very nice, attractive in a bit of a plain way, but intelligent. She worked at a mid size accounting firm.

We began hanging out and eventually had sex. It must have been about two months later I realized something about us together wasn't working. This sounds terrible, but she kind of bored me.

I will admit there was not a thing wrong with Hillary. Attractive, professional, intelligent, but I found myself uninterested. I had an idea why but for a few weeks I suppressed it.

Finally one night, face to face, I broke up with her. She was more surprised than saddened. She wanted to know why and I wasn't able to give her any kind of satisfying answer. She ended up angered at me.

"We can still be friends," I told her as she stood to leave, her meal half finished.

She never replied to my offer of friendship as she turned and left the restaurant.

Later alone with my thoughts my suppressed reasons for my dissatisfaction with Hillary emerged.

I was comparing her to Mia. Mia was fun to be with. She was up to try different things, sexy and attractive. And in bed the comparisons became even more one-sided.

On the other hand I was pretty sure that Hillary would never cheat on me.

These were the confused thoughts I pondered. Had Mia wrecked me? Would no other woman ever compare?

I had not seen Mia since the confrontation at my apartment over a year ago. I had heard through friends of friends she was still in Stanhope. News of her always got my attention but I tamped down the occasional thought of contacting her.

But as fate would have it our paths crossed.

Tim and I were downtown for a charity event at the Roosevelt Hotel. There was a dinner, an auction, and a band for dancing. I sat at a table with several couples all from the investment company where Tim worked.

After the dinner the band started playing, we were hanging out chatting and enjoying the evening. All of a sudden I got an elbow in the ribs from Tim.

"Incoming, 11 o'clock," he whispered to me.

Impossible to ignore, I turned and there was Mia. She was smiling and walking directly toward me. If anything, she looked better than I remembered. I turned and smiled at her and extended a hand to shake.

She ignored my hand and gave me a nice full bodied hug.

"Hello stranger," she said to me in greeting.

For a slightly awkward moment we stood there without speaking, just looking at each other. And then quickly Mia began talking, asking how I was doing, and what was new in my life, etc.

Fairly soon we were seated at another table chatting and catching up. It was like we just started up at the point we'd last been at. It just all felt so familiar and natural.

Unspoken was any reference to what had transpired at the party.

We danced a few times and basically spent the last several hours of the evening together. In fact we were deep in conversation sitting at a table, the band long packed up and gone, when all of a sudden the ballroom lights began to dim.

It was time to go, but it was like neither of us wanted the evening to end. Finally we stood up.

Mia gave me another hug, a kiss mostly on the cheek, turned and headed toward the exit. Partway there she stopped and turned back.

"Call me," she said. And I nodded.

I had a mental tug of war going on over the next few days. On one hand, I'd had such a great time with Mia at the auction. Definitely the best night I had experienced in many months.

On the other hand, I didn't trust her. Did I want to open myself up to a relationship that I didn't have faith in? This was my struggle.

Finally two days later I gave in and called her. I promised myself to have fun, enjoy hanging out with her, but be cautious.

We began seeing each other all over again. It felt familiar and comfortable. Mia had also seemed like she'd changed. Less wild, more stable. More mature.

One area where she was not less wild was sexually. I found that out after the third time we'd been together. She was just as fun as I remembered. Unfairly I compared her to Hillary.

No contest.

We were out to dinner one night about a month or so after we had begun seeing one another again. All,of a sudden Mia got a serious look on her face.

"Patrick," she began, "I think we need to talk about something."

Not sure where this was going, I just nodded.

"I need to explain about Blake."

Blake? For a moment I didn't know what she was talking about. And then all of a sudden I remembered. Blake, from the party. That Blake.

This will be interesting, I thought.

She told me a story. She had gone to a Catholic High School in the city. A lot of kids went there to get a supposed better education. Mia had gone because her grandmother was a strong Catholic. Mia had been raised Catholic.

In high school she had been a little overweight. There was a group of kids that were kind of the "in" crowd. The most popular kids at St Thomas. It was Blake Langley, Taylor White, and Lisa Shay, Mia's roommate. Mia always felt slightly out of the inner circle. But there was no doubt, Blake was the king.

His family was wealthy, owning car dealerships in the city. Blake always drove a new car. He was a tall good looking guy, confident and fun to be around.

While most of the other kids were experimenting with new experiences, like sex, Mia was abiding by her Catholic upbringing. Drummed into her head was that sex was saved for marriage.

I recalled her whispered words when we made love for the first time, fumbling with the condom.

Mia went on to say when she got to Stanhope as a freshman she felt the oppressive weight of her upbringing lift.

"I have to admit," she told me, "I kind of went a little wild in college."

I gathered this and hearing these words I couldn't suppress some pangs of jealousy. I kept quiet.

"Another thing happened when I got to college," she told me, "I started working out. I took a fitness class as an elective, I was hooked. I became compulsive about it. I went from 165 lbs to 135. Most kids put on weight in college. I lost it."

She then said she started getting even more attention from the guys. Not only was she sexually active, she looked better.

I could attest to that. She had a great body.

She then began talking about the party. She was happy having a good time and was surprised to run into Blake. She had only seen him a few times since high school. He suddenly was paying a lot of attention to her. She recalled in high school always hoping to get attention from Blake. And now it was happening.

"It was like I was suddenly in a different time in my life. Back to high school where popularity was so important. And here I was with the most popular guy around. And, I didn't have the sexual hang up that I had in high school."

"One thing led to another, and.... ". She trailed off.

"And then when I figured out I lost you over some quick roll in the hay with a guy I'd barely talked to in years." She paused, "it broke my heart."

"I can't tell you how many times I wanted to call you. But, you were so cold to me that day. I was afraid."

"And you want to know the funny thing,",she added, "I found out a few weeks later that Blake is engaged to some girl he met in college back east. I really felt cheap."

"So that's the story." She told me. "I learned a lesson and I've changed since then."

I just nodded, absorbing the information. It was a plausible explanation. But my approach was still going to be slow and steady with Mia.

We continued to see one another, usually all weekend, and once or twice during the week. I was definitely getting a more mature version of Mia that I appreciated, while still getting the sexually wild Mia behind closed doors.

We'd been together for nearly three months since we reconnected and all was good. More and more I repressed the thoughts of Mia and Blake screwing at the party. I was still taking it slow but there was no doubt we were a solid couple.

We did have a discussion about exclusivity and we both agreed on it. The word 'love' was occasionally whispered during passionate moments.

And then everything changed.

It was a Tuesday night. Nothing special, we had not planned on getting together that night. Surprisingly I heard a knock on my door. It was Mia.

She had a strange look on her face. Not quite desperate but something like that. I'd never seen this look on her before, something serious was up.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

And then she told me.

I remembered the night. We'd had a little too much wine. The sex that night had been extra vigorous. There had been a slight accident with the condom. You can guess the rest.

"I'm not going to trap you." She told me, "but I am having my baby."

We both sat there. Suddenly important life decisions had to be made. I thought about what I wanted and what she wanted and what may happen.

We talked for a long time that night with no clear decision being made. I did notice something of a further change in Mia. I saw a new maturity. A slight shift from the fun loving girl I'd first met. To be honest I think I liked the new version better.

Later, alone, as I analyzed these new developments in my life, I realized something. The only thing holding me back was thoughts of Mia's past. She was definitely wild during her college years. She'd told me that. And of course fucking Blake Langley that night.

She'd explained that. Sort of. It still bugged me. I thought I could compartmentalize that. But the memory was never fully extinguished.

I gave it lots of thought. I will spare the readers my many back and forth regarding my decision, but I decided we should stay together for many reasons including the welfare of the baby. My child to be.

The next few months were a whirlwind. We moved in together, and then moved to a three bedroom townhouse. Mia planned a wedding. Her Mom helped. She'd be six months pregnant at the wedding. So she'd show.

The entire time leading up to the wedding and ultimately the birth was a crazy, exciting, nerve wracking time. The entire course of my life took a completely different turn and bottom line, I was happy about it.

One note. The wedding was small, no time to plan for an extravagant affair. Mostly her family, my small family and friends. Friends from both our sides. What I didn't realize until it was too late, that included Blake Langley.

When I heard that I protested.

"Mia, I'm not having that guy at the wedding." I told her.

This led to a big argument. Eventually her logic won out. Langley, Taylor White, Lisa Shay (now Lisa Markham, she'd married Mitch Markham) were all friends from high school.

"These are all my high school friends. I can't invite everyone else and leave Blake out." She took a breath and continued. "Besides he'll be with his wife Bree."

I didn't know he was married. I reluctantly agreed.

We pulled the wedding off and all was fine. I actually met Blake Langley. He was on his best behavior, I had to admit I like the guy. Didn't trust him, but liked him. And his wife Bree, was model-hot. Tall, taller than Mia, long blond hair, and an extremely shapely body.

As if in a whirlwind, with the wedding over, suddenly we were parents. Mia had a boy we named Michael. Life changed for us. Everything had to be planned. Spontaneity was a thing of the past. But it was good. I loved being a father.

And Mia surprised me at what a good mother she became.

I had spoken about how I'd seen Mia mature over the years. No longer the crazy college chick, now a beautiful mature mother, who I found even more attractive than her younger version.