All Comments on 'Fool's Errand'

Thank you for what is in my mind a very entertaining story, I greatly enjoyed the read.

NorthPacific

I thoroughly enjoyed this tale. An easy 5*.

A very entertaining story. Top marks from me!

Great story! I loved it, but you did screw up on page 9 when you wrote that her father was "a year away from his four score years and ten." A score is 20 years, so that would make him 89 years old. Earlier you had said that he was in his 60s. I believe that you meant to say three score years and 10.

My first dip into your pool, and it was a pleasure for sure!

I too was thrown off with the "four score and ten" -- but you are forgiven.... ;-)

Thanks very much for this delightful romance -- it hit the spot. You'll be my go-to author in this category for quite a while as I read more of your works here.

It would be an idea for you to get an editor or some beta-readers. Not for any spelling/grammar/writing issues but more so the overall story. It was a little "choppy" in areas and the ending seemed very rushed... you had 8-9 pages of buildup and then suddenly it's over within a couple of pages.

That being said I still loved the story and gave it 5*.

I, too was confused by the 4 score and 10, but my main complaint was there was no gain from having everyone with the same name. Two Alan's, two Lindsay/Mason. I thought you were going to come up with some clever use of the apparent coincidences, but it was just confusing. Not even very clever. It was apparent from page 1 or 2 that Mason and Lindsay were going to end up being the key couple. The side plot of Leone and Maisie was also nothing but confusing. It had great promise, but didn't live up to its promise. 4* because it did show imagination. Keep trying.

It’s too bad others found confusion. I was not confused, and I loved the story. Thank you for writing it, and thank you for sharing.

I felt Caroline's Mom was cruel.

A well written and imaginative tale. Great back story and solid narrative. I loved the characters (aside from Gareth and Josh who did get what they deserved). Thank you.

If you had written this in 2020 OC would’ve given you a 3* at best.

I agree things seemed rushed at the end. This bit in the desert really wasn’t needed and the whole subplot with the daughter/ex-wife was dropped.

The best AF joke would have been for the M/L duo to keep telling Caroline that they were still going to spring the joke at the altar and then go through with the marriage anyway just when she expected then to shout April Fool.

With a mother like Sophia and a father like Allan, how come Caroline turns out to be such a dumb and skanky tart? Nice story, if predictable. 4*s,

Really Great story just spoiled with the ending. Love the character development, felt it needed to be longer especially with how L kept misunderstanding masons painting and then the job offer but never seemed to finish when she found out what was actually going on.

Impossible for me to score. I both like and disliked this story. I liked the storyline about the relationship between Mason, his daughter & family and Lindsey. Keeping the daughter secret did not make sense to me. The whole Caroline storyline I disliked. Lindsey seemed to have very little emotional attachment to her fiancée. I don’t know why she was even with him. She was a likable character, but her intelligence questionable. She was okay with her father’s interference in her life, being constantly followed. She seemed subservient to her father. Is she a pediatric surgeon or an orthopedic surgeon? Or a pediatric orthopedic surgeon? Any people that make up a story about a child having cancer as part of a practical joke are not right in the head.

The part about a mansion taking longer to paint than a smaller house was laughable. When you paint something on canvas, you can make it whatever size you want. If the artist was painting the actual, physical building, then yes, it would take more time.

This story is very well written, but you need to pick up the plot lines you dropped. The desert scene turning the other guy into a prostitute was certainly justified, but felt heavy handed and sadistic. It is simmering a mafia boss would do. If you had a professional editor this could be a published piece, but it isn't there yet. Still it is a ripping good yarn and a damned sight better than 90% of the stories on this site.