For the Love of Shawna

"The first guy I went with was Jimmy Henderson. I was with him for five days. On the fifth day, we were in my back yard and we decided to fool around a little. He's the only on to have put his hands on me in a sexual way. While we were kissing, he put his hand on one of my tits through my t-shirt, and I felt his cock through his jeans, but there was never any skin to skin contact. After only about five seconds, I pulled away from him. I apologized to him right away because I just couldn't do it. It just didn't feel right and I told him so.

"Jimmy is a really good guy. He was actually understanding, and he gave me a bit of advice. He told me that as soon as I could, I needed to go find you. He knew that I was in love with you and that no one else would do. He's dating Marie Peterson, now. They've been together about six months and they seem to fit well together.

"There were three other guys in between him and Bobby. None of them lasted more than a couple of weeks except for Dan Simmons and he lasted only a month. None of them ever got as far as Jimmy. I held them off completely because I knew that only you were the right one.

"Then there was Bobby. When you came back, I should have broke it off with him right away. Not doing so wasn't fair to either you or him. I started to look for reasons to break up with him the moment I saw you step out of that old car, but for some reason I didn't do so. And I am sorry, Josh. I should have been in your arms months ago. I hope you can forgive me."

"Oh, sweetheart, you're the love of my life. How could I not?. We're together now and that's what matters."

"This morning, I told your mom about Bobby. She told me I had to be sure to tell you. I want us to be honest with each other. I don't want to end up like my parents. I want to end up like yours. You have been my first. And right now, I pledge to you that you will be my last, and every time in between."

"Mom told you about that statement, huh," he blushed.

"Yeah, and I loved it. I thought it was the sweetest thing you could have said. She also said that you told her that you were still a virgin. Is that true?"

"Yes," he answered. "When we left, I was already deeply in love with you. I couldn't move past that, and I didn't want to. I resigned myself before I was even allowed to date to not ever having sex with anyone other than you and never having a girlfriend. You were too important to me to do anything like that."

"I thought I saw you at a concert I went to with my dad in September two years ago and you were with a girl."

"I hated being at that concert," said Joshua. "If I had been at it with you, I might have enjoyed it, but since you weren't there, I was miserable. Did you know that music heightens a person's feelings? All I wanted to do was cry, but for the sake of the girl who was there, I held it off and buried my feelings as deep as I could until I could be alone."

"So, you did date?"

"Not in the normal sense of dating." He paused in thought for a couple of seconds. "Her name was Patricia Monroe and she was dating Dean Beaumont at the time. He had to be at a family reunion and he asked me to escort her to the concert so that she wouldn't miss it. The only contact I had with her was to kiss her hand when I dropped her back home. He had the satisfaction of knowing he had provided for his girl while not having to worry about someone else making a move on her, she got to see the concert, and as he paid all the expenses, I got a free meal. After that, I became known as the go to guy for those that needed an escort with no strings attached and no sex. In fact, I was quite adamant with every girl I escorted that the only contact between us would be the kiss of the hand at the end unless dancing was required, and even then there had to be minimal touching."

"How many girls did you take out?"

"I don't know. Somewhere close to fifty, I think. None of them meant anything. There were a few that I escorted more than once, but never twice in a row. I was never really in a good mood all the time I was away, but learned to hide it for the sake of the girls I was escorting and for mom so that she wouldn't worry so much."

"Thanks for telling me, Josh. It means a lot to me that we are honest with each other."

"With that in mind, there is one more topic to discuss," he said. "I vote for this June for the wedding. Sound good to you?"

"Wait a minute. You haven't even proposed to me yet.

"Maybe, but you've already accepted the proposal when you said that I was your first and would be your last and every time in between."

"Okay, I'll give you that," she conceded with a laugh. "So why so quickly? It can take a lot of planning to get a wedding done correctly."

"I have to be in Memphis, TN. after the fourth of July holiday for a couple of months. It has to do with certification for the job. We'll be coming right back here to work, but I'm not going to go off and leave you behind. That is just not going to happen. Period! The company will pay for both of us to go if we're married. Otherwise, we'll have to pay your way. Is June far off enough that it gives you enough time to plan everything? If not, we can wait and I'll find a way to get up the money for both of us to go."

"We have to be at mom's tomorrow for dinner to meet Steve. After that's done, I'll tell her that she and I have to get with Jessica to start planning. We'll make June work for the wedding."

"Good," Joshua replied. "I think we better get some sleep. It sounds like we have a busy day ahead of us tomorrow."

"One more thing, sweetheart. My dad has a sister who lives in the Memphis area. Mom went there to help when she was ill a couple of years ago. In fact, that's why only dad and I were at that concert, come to think of it. Anyway, I think that I can get dad to talk to her about letting us stay there while we are there, It will save us a bit of money."

"Good idea, love," replied Joshua. "See if you can get a hold of him tomorrow and ask."

"Sure, baby"

"Now, let's get some sleep. I want you to be well rested for tomorrow if we have to face your mom and her boyfriend."

"It's going to be wonderful sleeping in your arms and waking up in them in the morning. I love you, baby. Night."

"I love you, too, sweet lips. Night."

Shawna gave a giggle, and closed her eyes, a contented smile on her face.

Jessica sat at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee. She was anxious to hear how things had gone last night, but didn't dare to enter her son's room to wake the two lovebirds. It was still early, but she and Mark were so accustomed to getting up so that they could be on time for work that even on those days that they didn't have to work they were up.

She looked up as she heard footfalls coming through the doorway to the living room. Shawna came in and took a seat next to her. She looked at the girl inquisitively and waited. Then a smile came to the girls face as she slowly turned to look at the older woman with a sparkle filling her eyes. Jessica smiled widely and hugged her tightly giving a bit of a giggle.

"How about some breakfast?" she asked.

"Thanks, Jessica. It has to be a light one, though. Josh and I have to be at my mom's for dinner at twelve thirty. We're meeting her boyfriend."

"Okay, sweetie. Please don't let that put a damper on your day."

"Not a chance," said Shawna happily. "With Josh and I being together, nothing can lower my spirits. Besides, her actions no longer dictate how I feel or act. I still love her, but I'm going to live my own life. Speaking of which, the wedding will be some time this June. Josh has to be in Memphis in July and if we're already married, the company will pay for both of us to go."

"Memphis?!"

"He has to go there for some kind of certification thing. We'll be back after a couple of months, though. It's only for this training."

"Oh, good. Well, June isn't very far away. We'll have to work fast to get things ready."

"Yeah. I'm going to tell mom today after the dinner and all that. This Steve guy will be moving in, too. I don't know how well I'm going to handle that."

"Why don't you just move in here? You can still maintain next door as your address and just sleep here. I'm sure Josh would love that."

"I'm sure he would, too." Shawna blushed. "I probably will be here a lot more, including at night, but I don't know about actually moving in."

"Shawna, sweetie. You know that Mark and I both love you. We feel that you and Josh are perfect for each other. You are more than welcome here. If things are too difficult next door, we will do everything we can to welcome you into our home. Not many parents welcome their son's lover into their home without them being married."

"I bet even fewer help that lover to have sex with their son for the first time," agreed Shawna. Both women laughed at that. "I'll think about it, Jessica. It is appealing. And thanks for your help in that. Josh was really wonderful and let me go at my own pace. Your help and advice was absolutely great and I think it really helped to make it a special time for the both of us."

"You're quite welcome, hon. Why don't you go wake him up and I'll get some breakfast going."

At ten thirty, Shawna and Joshua sat on the loveseat at the Taylor home. Carol Taylor was not at home and upon checking her room, Shawna saw that she had once again not been at home during the night. As they waited for her return, they discussed plans for their future. Josh was eyeing the house across the street as a possible home, but he thought that the banks would not consider him a viable client at his age. Shawna said that she would be happy wherever they were as long as they were together. Talk naturally evolved into plans for the wedding, looking at such things as the colors they wanted and who they needed to have as the best man and maid of honor.

"This may sound strange, but I think I would like to have Jimmy Henderson as the best man," said Joshua. "It would be a way for me to thank him for the way he treated you when he knew that you were in love with me and was so nice. I really admire him for his actions. A lot of guys would have been really pissed and tried to ruin your reputation. I like that he didn't try to do that. It says a lot about his character."

"I like that idea," Shawna agreed. "Maybe I can get Marie as my maid of honor. That would really fit well since they are going together. You think it might give them ideas?"

They laughed at the thought just as the front door opened and Carol walked in. "Hi, you two. What's so funny?"

"I'll tell you later, mom,' Shawna promised. "Have a good night?"

"I'll tell you later, daughter," she quipped. "Josh, good to see you. I'm very glad you're here. Shawna, can you help me out in the kitchen a little? I'm running a bit late. I'll get the roast on while you do the salad and potatoes. Can you set the table, Josh? Four places?"

"Sure, Mrs. T."

"Please call me Carol. After what you have done for this family, I think it's proper for all of us to be on a first name basis."

"What I've done? I don't understand."

"We'll get to that later. Come on, guys. Let's get cracking."

The preparations went quickly. Soon, the smell of the roast cooking was filling the house and Shawna had the other things done. The three returned to the living room to sit, Shawna sliding in beside Joshua and grabbing his hand in hers. It was a fact that didn't escape Carol's notice, and she smiled at her daughter with obvious approval.

At twelve twenty six, the doorbell rang. "Well, he's punctual, I'll give him that," said Shawna. Her nerves started flaring and she grabbed Joshua's hand tighter.

"It's okay, love. I'm right here with you," Joshua comforted her.

Carol opened the door and greeted the new caller. Hey, Steve. Thanks for coming."

"No problem," he replied. "How is everything?"

"So far so good. Let me introduce you."

They moved into the room and Joshua and Shawna stood to meet him. "Steve," said Carol. "This is my daughter Shawna and this fine young man is Joshua.'

"How do you do?" said Steve.

"Fine, sir," answered Shawna. "I didn't catch your last name."

"It's Hardebeck, but you can call me Steve. Shall we sit?"

"I have to check on dinner," said Carol. "I'll be right back

"I'm not comfortable with all of this yet," Shawna said as she sat back down with Joshua next to her on the loveseat.

"I'm not surprised. It's a lot to take in, and you've only heard about it all less than a week ago. It wasn't my intention to make you uncomfortable, but I can understand why you are."

Carol walked back into the room and Shawna was surprised that she didn't go over to near where her boyfriend sat.

"I realize that all this has been hard on you, Shawna," the man began. "I am truly sorry for that. Your mother and I didn't take into account anyone else's feelings at all. What we did is horrible to say the least, and I can't apologize enough for our actions. But I can say that we are both truly sorry."

"Wait a minute. What?"

"Honey, what Steve is saying is that we realize that we made a big mistake and it cost us all an awful lot. I'm very sorry that it all happened."

The shock of it all registered on Shawna's face.

"I'm not asking you to forgive me, but I hope that you will forgive your mom," Steve continued. "It really wasn't her fault that things got where they did. It was mine."

"No, Steve," Carol cut in. "I have to take responsibility for my actions in this mess, too. I could have and should have stopped it, and I didn't"

"Alright," he answered. "But it was mostly my fault. I made the move and pushed it forward. I just hope that you will give your mom a chance. I think she will do everything she can to try to make it up to you for the pain she and I caused you. Will you do that for her?"

"Are you saying that you're not together anymore?"

"That's right, dear," answered Carol.

Shawna thought for a moment before replying. "In answer to your question, Mr. Hardebeck, I can do that. She is still my mom, after all."

"Good. I think that I had better go, now. Ruth is waiting in the car."

"Who's Ruth," asked Shawna.

"That's Steve's wife," said Carol before turning back to face Steve. "How is she doing with all this?'

"Well, the trust is gone, of course. But she's willing to try if I am. We're going to call that number for the counselor you gave us tomorrow and set up an appointment. It will be hard for a while. Especially since I can't work at the gym anymore. Money will be tight. But I think we'll make it."

"That's good. Tell her I said thanks for letting you do this, will you?"

"Sure." With that, Steve Hardebeck was out the door and as quickly out of the lives of the Taylor household.

"Mom, this all a bit strange. When and how did this all come about?"

"Well, there's a long story to all of that, sweetie. And we'll get to it. But the when of it all is this last Friday after we took your dad's things to him."

"But, I don't understand. If you broke up on Friday, why did you act like this dinner was going to be about meeting him when you reminded me of it yesterday?"

"I'm sorry, dear. I didn't mean to do that. Things were going along pretty fast and I didn't think about how it would seem when I told you to be sure that Joshua was here."

"You had Josh set the table for four people, mom Your boyfriend isn't going to be here. What's going on?"

"We have another guest coming, Sweetie."

"Who?"

Just then the door opened and Bill Taylor walked into his own home for the first time in over a week

"Dad!" Shawna cried as she ran to hug him.

"Shawna!" he said mocking her as she raced into his arms. "Hello, Josh. How are you doing?"

"Fine, sir."

"Thank you for watching over Shawna for me. You've done a miracle for this family."

"I don't understand, Mr. Taylor."

"You can call me Bill, Josh. I don't doubt that you would be confused. There is a story that will explain it all, but I'll let Carol tell it. It's her story, after all."

"Shawna, I think you need to hear the whole truth about what has led to this moment," Carol began "It is a long story, and that means that dinner will be delayed, but I've got everything set so it won't be ruined."

"Should I step outside?" asked Joshua.

"Oh, Definitely not. You are a big part of this, and as such you deserve to be in on it. Besides, if I'm reading things right, I would say that there is more going on between you and Shawna than just being friends and she would probably just tell you about it later anyway."

"You first, mom," Shawna blushed.

"Okay. Some of what I'm going to tell you will be hard to hear. A lot of it, in fact. But it is important that you hear it. It isn't easy for me to tell, either, so bear with me as I falter through some of it.

"I met your father when I was a freshman in college. Growing up, my parents were very strict. I was not allowed to date at all, and no boys were allowed at the house. Sex was a dirty word, and I was never allowed to talk about anything that might have anything to do with it. There was no one to ask any questions about it, but with the help of my friend, Barbara, I was able to learn, albeit vicariously, about how things worked. The school taught the mechanics, but not the art. Barb helped me learn the art by telling me about her dates with whatever boy she was going with.

"So when it came time for me to start college, I was nineteen, horny as hell, and still a virgin. My parents wanted me to go to the college that was right next to where they lived, but I made sure that I wasn't going to. The school I chose wasn't even within driving distance. I was at last free of my parents and able to live my life the way I wanted.

"The first thing I did was to get on birth control and try to find someone to be with. My roommate, Jane, helped me with that. She introduced me to several guys, your father, Bill, being one of them. I made up for lost time that first year. There were seven other guys that I was going with other than Bill, and I spread my legs for every one of them."

"Shit, mom! TMI."

"No, dear. You need to hear this. It's not too much information because it's necessary for you to know about what I was like.

"Four of the guys I was having sex with were seniors, two were juniors, one a sophomore, and one a freshman like me. Everything was going pretty well, and I was really enjoying myself with whoever I chose to be with sexually, male or female."

"Whoa," said Bill. "You didn't mention that, earlier."

"Oh," she replied. "Sorry, dear. I didn't think of it. Jane was a very good teacher. She loved cock, but liked to get a face full of pussy once in a while, too."

"Mom!"

"Like I said," she laughed at her daughter's red face. "You need to know the whole story.

"School let out for summer and most of the students went home. I stayed, deciding to continue classes through the summer so I didn't have to deal with my parents. Of course, the seniors were off to whatever was next, so they were all gone and not going to return. The freshman, sophomore and one of the juniors all left, too. That left your dad as Jane also left, and I wasn't finding anyone new.

"You were conceived in August. I ran out of birth control pills, and couldn't get another prescription filled right away, and the next thing you know, some of Bill's sperm did it's work on one of my eggs, and you were on your way. I didn't learn of your appending arrival until September just before people started getting back for school.

"I think it's important that you know that we are sure that Bill Taylor is your father. During those three months of summer, I was only with him, and I found out about it before any of the guys returned, so we know without a doubt that he is your father.