All Comments on 'Forbidden: A Taboo Love Story'

Using miltiple POVs is sign of an inexperienced author trying to fill space as eac view repeats most of the previous. If your intent is to relate the emotions or, in this case, raw animalistic sexual desire, then write from a narrative POV.

You get both fellings to the front for you reader without losing their interest. This may be just my nitpick opinion but, I lost track and just moved to the cpmments.

Don't get me wrong, you have an excellent lead up that would get 5s easily and readers begging for more. Sorry for my misspellings as I'm my iPhone and sorry if I offended you with my comments. But KEEP WRITING as you have sick (excellent) writing skills.

I enjoyed this story very much. Whilst switching between points of view did get a bit confusing at times over all it ended well and I look forward to the next installment.

You aren't a very clear writer. The changing pov is rarely successful.

Sisters - sister's -. These words do no mean the same thing.. Sorry, but writing "...dick suck pussy cum" doesn't make a story.

A great story about how a hot and horny sister screws her brother and cannot believe how good it felt !! Hopefully, her other brother tells her what he saw and Jossie wants to do him hard too. The 2 brother talk this over and decide to offer Jossie that she can do them together and individually anytime she wants. Hopefully, they will all play so more. This story has so many possibilities. Please write more chapters soon, thank you.

Thank you all! I appreciate the constructive criticism as well as the love. As you well guessed, I am not a professional writer and I certainly do not make any claim to even being good at writing. In fact, this is the first piece of fiction that I've ever written. I wrote this for fun on a whim. I had the story come to life in my head late one night. It wouldn't leave my mind and I determined to write it out after one hot and sleepless night of being kept awake by these two horny siblings! The characters were so very vivid and real to me as I lay trying to fall asleep. The story sat in my files for over a year and a half until I recently popped onto literotica a few nights ago and read a few sibling love stories. Reading them reminded me of this story that sat collecting dust in some proverbial drawer in my computer. I pulled it up and skimmed over it and decided to submit it just for fun - for any others who might enjoy these siblings as much as I have. Naturally I was nervous about putting myself out there as much as I'm sure anyone else might be. I see things reading back through that I would certainly change now and a few errors - like my cringe worthy slip up in using 'bc' for because the once. I mentally punched myself and thought... 'Good grief! Did I really become one of those people who use abbreviations rather than typing out full words!! Yikes!' But, I'm not going to beat myself up over the imperfections and flaws in my story to be perfectly frank with whomever may read this. I'm simply going to enjoy it for what it is... a bit of sexy sibling fun. I may or may not continue their story. I really don't know. Hell, it could turn not that I never write another thing but be forewarned that if I do, I'll still just be an amateur who writes for fun and not perfection.

Contrary to the other commentators, I didn't mind the POV switching.

This felt like more porn than story... but that's ok. Sometimes "we can't afford to invest that little extra in story, production value, feeling." We don't always want to read for two hours before getting off.

i really enjoyed this and would like to see this turn into a series. try to develope the story as well dont just focuse on the sex.

...for lots more. Keep the effort moving.

Wow!

What a story! I see others who like it have asked for more or a continuation. In my opinion, you picked a great place to stop and if it goes no further it is very outstanding. Such stories can be difficult to write and you have done an excellent job. The few minor errors you noticed do not detract from it at all. The criticism that others have leveled should be disregarded as illegitimate. Whatever their reasoning is does not matter in the least.

Well Done!!!

Honestly much as I appreciate plot, I'm here for the porn without plot aspects, and this definitely delivers. To each their own regarding people who want more than just this, but this was totally gratifying to me (I've recently discovered that I have a thing for big brother/little sister incest, possibly because I'm an only child and always fantasized about having an older brother) and I would definitely read more!

Interesting if Sammy and Jossie will be willing to share with Mattie

Please, please don't be one of the talented authors that's just 1 and done. Your stories are good, characters lovable and the sex is hot, passionate and tender. PLEASE keep writing.

I really enjoyed the action once it got to it, as well as most of the lead up, but to be completely honest, I skipped several whole paragraphs between when she indicated she needed to get in the shower, and when she actually got in the shower. From my first/last line skimming I seemed to rapidly deem them out of place. It's not that the information in them was bad, but that a good *erotic* story sets the stage first, and then lets the ball (the action) roll down the hill more or less unencumbered. The action can change directions, slow, grow faster, etc, but once the ball is on the hill, don't detract or distract from it. Information about the characters should be introduced when they are, or as the information is discovered or changed.

Some of the thoughts these characters had were much too wordy as well, in my opinion. This is noticeable because either the sentence structure or length caused a mismatch between the time it takes to process the sentence and the time it would take to have the corresponding thought. That's why in a lot of prose short thoughts are meerly described and not put into full complete sentences. This same thing happened with the "virgin consent" scene, which was more than twice as long and verbose than it necessitated.

Please don't let my criticisms dissuade your writing, the story was still quite wonderful.

Two brothers hurts, not help this story in my opinion.

Your writing places the reader square in the middle of the scene and I felt like I could almost smell the sex. Begs to be set to film. Thanks!

Write more please dose she have sex with both brothers I can't wait to find out great story

Most amazing beautiful fucking hot story I have ever read

Could someone help give me perspective on this? Now i know these are only stories, but strangely, they bring me heartache, but i dont know why. I have two sisters and. While very pretty, in a way that you would say of your sister, i havent, dont currently, or will never feel that way about my sisters. So its not jealousy. Maybe a little empathetic, but why do these stories cause this strange heartache. If thats what youd call it. I cant pinpoint it.

It's the knowledge that in every way but sex, you have an intimacy with your sister that you would hope someday to have with your soul mate. Talk to your sister about it, and enjoy the closeness of that relationship for what it is, without having to make it what it isn't. You can enjoy walking through a garden without feeling like you have to pick the flowers.

Thanks, i very much like the sentiment, and i think many ways you are right. I remember past instances in which my sisters have told me in a non-threatening or non-awkward way that they wish they could meet a guy like me. But the more i think about it i realized something. I have no romantic or sexual feelings for my sisters, however, your siblings know and understand more about you than anyone usually does, they know your habits, fears, quirks, dreams, and aspirations. So it seems it is a form of envy, your family knows you better than anyone, and in this story, it is a mix of grief, sorrow, and emotional (and romantic realization) and i wish it were real. But things like this dont exist. I lost my dad a couple years back and ive been having a difficult time finding a person that feels my pain or emotion, so i guess the reason why it breaks my heart is BECAUSE it isnt real, i dont know.

OMG....I love this!!! I want... need more!!!

Such a good story. I need more, lol. Can't wait to see what happens when Matt joins them.

i need the part 2 right now!!! this is so good!

Nice .....

Loved it, not much else to say than 5*+ all day long

Fantastic, thankyou

Wow! So good. So hot. Love it!

You should write another chapter for this. It can't end this way when we know there's a hotter, much better ending. Just thinking how Matty's going to seduce her, then Matty and Sammy double tagging her - man, that's going to be real hot! This is really good, but a second chapter would be fire. And with the way you write, I'm sure readers will be in for a wild ride.

That was one of the hottest brother/sister stories I've had the pleasure of reading.......and trust me! I've read A LOT

Great job and ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️'s of course

Amazing. I hope you have plenty more stories for me to read! This was perfect!!

More please!

Amazing, nice paced development

Epilogue with Matty was un-neccasary after the passion of the story played out.

I still rated 5 Stars but that almost lowered it down a notch.

Looking forward to reading another chapter perhaps without Matt’s interfering 👍🏾👍🏾