All Comments on 'Forbidden Love'

I could have used more details and descriptions. The character development could have benefitted from history and explanation. But I did like the premise and what was transpiring between the mother and her 2 sons.

Thanks for writing.

This was rather short and lacking development. I like the overall theme and so forth. I wish you had added more development and character depth.

to have written so many stories and only been rewarded with one big red H. When the description is like this - "We didn't speak as he took me so gently and yet with so much passion I came and came again. " - and that's all you have to say about the deed perhaps you don't understand this is supposed to be erotic literature on this site. There was nothing erotic about your story at all.

It all felt a little mechanical, by-the-numbers, even; you need to slow down and plot out your stories properly, and take your time to let the story unfold at its own pace; there's no prizes for posting quickest, but a rushed story is not a winner. You should also note; punctuation is your friend, please learn how to use it properly, especially when writing dialog. I give this a three, because you have a lot of promise, but you need to be more considered and less eager to post.