Forced by My Long Lost Father

He says to me, "Come on, girl, time's a'wastin' away here." My mom used to say the same exact thing to me too, and some times she still does. I don't think I've ever heard her mother or aunts say either that or, "dilly-dallying," so I guess she must've learned both of those phrases from him.

I reach behind my back and unhook my bra and peel it off me and put it on top of my shirt.

He says, "Sweetie, you got great tits, better than your mom, I think." I'm a 34 DD. Even without a bra they stick right out and my nipples curve upward.

Darleen says, "Cousin, uncle Bill's right, you do have wonderful titties."

I think, "My father's name is Bill; my rapist's name is Bill."

I take my panties off while they watch. I see that they have a tear at the crotch and are ruined, but I still put them carefully on top of my bra.

He takes me by the wrist and pulls me down next to him. He takes me by the knees and opens my legs wide. He reaches over and strokes me right between my legs over that gap, my vulva, my mons major and mons minor, all names I learned in advanced human biology senior year in high school. Two of his fingers go inside me this time, only now he's not being rough with me so it doesn't hurt.

He laughs. "Wet as a July thunderstorm, Tessa, just like your momma the first time I got her panties off. Come look at this, Darleen."

My cousin gets up and sits right on top of my clothes on the rattan coffee table next to the TV. The rattan sags down under her weight. My bra has wire to give my big breasts support and for a second I worry that she's going to bend it and ruin my bra. We have nice things because my stepfather works hard, but we are far from rich.

She says, "Wow, girl, I never seen a pussy so wet before."

Darleen reached out and touches me too, her finger even going all the way inside me. She smelled her own finger and tasted it.

My father stands up and takes his sneakers and jeans off. He's not wearing undies or socks. I've never seen a guy naked before, not even one of my half-brothers. Darleen leans forward and takes his long skinny penis into her hand and strokes it and guides it into her mouth all at the same time.

I think, "Oh my God, he has sex with his own niece, too. I bet he raped her too."

His whole penis goes all the way into her mouth, surprising me. I wouldn't have thought it possible. He looks about eight inches long, but she swallowed all of it easy. He takes a handful of her blond curly hair and moves her head back and forth on his penis, his penis sliding smoothly in and out of her mouth. She's looking up at his face while she sucks him, her eyes all excited. I realize that she loves having his penis in her mouth and that she probably loves pleasing him that way. I had always assumed that girls did gross things like that only because their husbands or boyfriends forced them to do it.

He pulls her head back, still using her hair as a handle, and his penis pops out of her mouth and springs up and claps against his belly. It's still wet and dripping with her spit.

She giggles and looks over at me, her hazel eyes still all excited.

He lays me down on the couch.

I beg him, "Please, don't. You're my father."

He just laughs.

I'm looking up at him, but I glance over at Darleen and see that she's undressing.

He gets between my knees and mounts me. He's supporting himself over me with his hands on the armrest, but then he's doing it with just one of his forearm. He reaches between us with his other hand and positions his penis.

I'm crying, begging him not to do it, but he just drives it into me hard.

I feel something tear inside me. It really hurts and burns. He's pushing hard with his hips and his weight. He lurches into me, and I cry out in pain. I feel this terrible burning tearing feeling.

He starts to thrust inside me, slow at first but quickly picking up speed.

He says, "Oh, baby, you're so tight. You're like a vise gripping my cock you're so tight."

He's doing it to me really hard now, ramming his penis into me. I still have this burning feeling, but it's not as bad as before, and instead I feel sort of like he's punching or something inside me, punch punch punch, again and again.

I think, "This is what sex is. When I marry, my husband will do this to me, and sometimes, when he does it, I'll remember my very first time, remember when my own father did it to me, remember when my own father raped me while my beautiful white cousin watched, completely naked and sitting next to us on a rickety old coffee table."

I'm looking up at my father's face as he rapes me. His face is half excitement, half pleasure. He really does have angelic eyes so blue, not exactly like mine, but very close.

He starts to grunt with lusty, animal satisfaction with each thrust.

My cousin is naked. She leans toward us and slips her hand down there and starts to rub me right over the spot where he's pounding away inside me. I know what that place is called, "the clitoris," from health class when I was a sophomore before I took my advanced human biology class as a senior.

With her other hand she starts to play with my nipples. She pulls and twists one and then the other, going back and forth. She's looking right at my face, too, her face all excited.

She says, "Cousin, I love your titties. Later, if you don't mind too much, I want to kiss and suck them, just for a little while." She leans forward and takes one of my nipples into her mouth and sucks it hard while she twists and tugs the other and rubs my clitoris with her other hand.

Slowly I start to feel good. My nipples are tingling and a little bit sore. Inside me where my father is raping me, pounding inside me, it starts to get warm. My clitoris goes from warm and tingly to something wonderful.

I can't help it, my hips start to move. I'm looking back and forth between my father's face and my cousin's, my cousin's hazel-green eyes and freckles and my father's blue eyes and his broken tooth.

My father laughs.

My cousin says, "Stop it, uncle Bill. This is her first time. You can tease her another time."

She takes her hand away from my breasts and starts to rub herself between her legs while she is still rubbing my clitoris with her other hand.

I have never masturbated or even tried to do so, and of course I'd never seen another girl, or a guy, do it.

She'd rub her clitoris and then finger her vagina, back and forth, back and forth. She was so beautiful. I'd never seen another girl naked before other than my little sister.

Something happens, like a slow firecracker blowing up inside me, the fuse lit at that spot where she was touching me, my clitoris. This sound came out of my mouth, a moan, I guess. My hips rise up and I grab my father's hips and pull him towards me.

I can't help it, I say, "YES!" and my whole body shakes under my father and under my cousin's probing, moving little hand.

My father kisses me right on the mouth. His mouth tastes like alcohol. I can't help it, I kiss him back and pull and push his hips back and pull him hard into me so that he'll go in and out of me harder and at just the speed I want.

My cousin says, "I'm cumming too, Tessa, I'm cumming too!" She moans, too, but her hand is still rubbing me, and her other hand is rubbing and fingering herself.

I feel my father's penis throb. He moans and shouts and cums inside me. I can feel him spurting in me. He kisses me again, right on my mouth, and I kiss him back. We lie there kissing for what felt like several minutes, while my father shallowly thrusts in and out of me until he was finally empty.

He and Darleen both laugh, but they are happy laughs rather than cruel, teasing laughs.

I laugh too. I can't help it.

My father pulls out of me and dismounts or whatever the term is when a man climbs off a woman, but he is still on his knees between my legs.

I can feel his seed leaking out of me. I feel wet from it and it quickly starts to get cold.

I look down and see that his penis is dripping with his own cum and doubtless some of my own juices. It looks pink or reddish with my blood too.

A cigarette and a little black plastic lighter appear in his hands even though he's naked, and he lights up and inhales deeply and blows a cloud of blue-gray smoke. He takes another long hard drag and then holds the cigarette out to Darleen, who takes a short drag with it still in his hand. He offers the cigarette to me, but I don't smoke.

Darleen kisses me right on the mouth, and I kiss her back. Her mouth tastes of tobacco smoke.

She giggles and leans so that she is over my knee with her hand on my thigh for balance. She takes her uncle's penis in her mouth and licks him clean. He was getting soft fast.

Still kneeling between my legs with his bare butt against the couch's armrest, he smokes and doesn't offer her another drag.

He says to her, "You'd better clean her out as best you can too. God-knows, I doubt she's on the pill or anything."

I giggle. I can't help it. I was picturing myself telling my mother that I was knocked up by my own urban redneck father. "Momma, you was right, and now I'm going to be momma to my own sister!"

For a moment I wonder which I'd care more about at that moment, her humiliation at me being knocked up by my father or my own. Would my joy at hurting her so much be more than my own shame?

Darleen gently takes my legs and helps me to sit up. She pulls me forward and I slide to the edge of the couch. She pushes my knees open, pushes the coffee table back carefully so as not to upset the little TV, and kneels between my legs. The floor is covered with a thin dirty carpet, but she doesn't seem to notice.

I guess I had no idea what she was going to do.

She leans forward and starts to lick and suck my father's cum out of me.

I'm surprised and grossed out. I think, "A lesbian sex act is being done to me right now by my own cousin while my father watches."

He says to her, "Give her a taste, girl."

She dips her finger the goo leaking out of me and brought it up to my mouth.

I turn my face away, but he told me to lick it, to taste it. I hold her wrist and taste my own father's seed and my own juices and virgin blood.

He says, "Smell it." I do.

"Give her another taste, sweetie."

She pushes two fingers into me and brings them to my mouth.

He says, "Smell it first."

I do as he says, holding my cousin's wrist again, "Lick it, give it a good taste."

I do as he says.

He says, "Suck her fingers clean," and I do.

It is grossly sticky and wet and smells weird.

I let go of her wrist and she goes back to licking me. When she looks up at me while catching her breath I can see my own virgin blood all around her mouth.

She licks and sucks me for a long time and pushes as much of her tongue into me as she can again and again. All the while she does it she looks up at my face with her beautiful hazel eyes. It isn't long before I started to moan. I look right back at her. She reaches up and starts squeezing my breasts, and pinching and tugging my nipples. Then she licks and sucks that spot again, my clitoris.

I don't even think about it, I reach down and take her head into my hands and push her face into me down there.

My father suddenly has a bottle of something, baby oil. He is stroking his penis while he watches us. He is using some of the oil on his hands to make them and his penis slippery. He is about half hard, I think.

He's preparing himself to rape me again and I know that I am helpless to stop him. I think that I really don't care what they are doing to me. The worst had already happened.

She helps me to switch to kneeling in front of the couch. She pulls a dirty and stained cushion from the seat of the couch and puts it under my knees. I bend over the seat of the coach, my breasts and belly on a cushion, and my face presses into the back of the couch, which smells of spilled beer and cat pee and pepperoni and something else, a weird mystery smell.

She sucks his penis again, him standing, her on her knees, and I turn my head to watch. He is all the way hard again and sticking up toward his six-pack belly.

He kneels behind me. She pulls the rest of the cushions from the couch and puts it under his knees. There is dirt and scraps of paper and a few coins on the uncovered part of the couch right next to my face.

She kisses him right on the mouth, Frenched him, a lingering, loving kiss.

I know that I am about to be raped by my own father again but somehow don't mind.

He says, "Your momma used to love this."

Darleen says, "Bill, you fuck-head, stop it."

Sounding sheepish, he says, "I'm sorry, Tessa, I can't help it."

Darleen says, "Yeah, he can't help but be a huge asshole half the time."

They both laugh, and I find myself laughing too, laughing with them. My mom and my stepfather never say a cross or angry word to each other. Instead they were cold to each other most of the time.

He slaps my butt hard and I laugh again, my butt stinging.

Now his hands are on my hips and I feel him push his penis up my vagina.

Darleen brushes the dirt and the scraps of paper and the pennies and nickels and dimes and other crap off the place next to my head and sits next to me. She is still naked.

I feel my father's penis move up my vagina slowly, easily.

It feels so good that I giggle.

I watch as she reaches down under my belly and feel her touch me. My father's penis is all the way inside me. I spread my knees out on the cushion as much as I could so that she can touch me more easily, and my father spreads his knees too, which are on the outside of mine, so that I can open my own. Her hand goes right between my legs, on that spot again.

My father has started to fuck me again and my cousin starts rubbing my clitoris.

I moan. It is so strange, so weird, so intense. My clitoris feels like it is on fire and my uterus feels so warm.

I beg him, beg my own rapist father, "Please, don't stop, please, don't stop, please, don't stop!" It feels incredible. I mean every word.

I say, "Oh, that's so good, oh, that's so good, oh, please, don't stop."

I had begged him not to rape me but ended up begging him not to stop buggering me.

I cum and cum and cum. I am thrusting my hips back as hard as I can and I know that my tough, sinewy father is fucking me as hard as he can.

My father says, "I'm going to cum!"

I feel him spurt inside my vagina, feel his penis throb inside me.

I cum when he does it.

He turns me around and we French kiss as he keeps fucking me, only more slowly, for another few minutes.

He pulls out of me and goes out, naked, into another room to wash up, not bothering to cover himself.

Darleen asks me to lick her. "I know you've never done it before, but I really really need it, and if you don't want to, I'll understand."

I thought, "What the heck. At least she asked." I had her close the door again.

She tells me what to do, how to lick her, to go slow, to go easy, to finger her and to lick her labia or her clitoris. My father walks in, naked from the waist down, and watches us. Right then, I don't care that he hasn't closed the door.

When she comes I feel joy at having pleased her.

My father's penis is half hard, and he tells me to take it in my mouth, to kiss it, to suck it.

I think about the fact that it had been inside me a few minutes before, thinks about the fact that half of what I am came spurting out of his penis before I was born.

I take my own father's penis in my mouth and suck and kiss it. He doesn't get much harder, but he seemed to enjoy it. After a while my mouth gets tired, so Darleen and I start switching back and forth, me sucking his penis for a while and then her.

Darleen tells me, while I am sucking him, that she's never been with another man or boy, but that sometimes she and my dad would go to the mall or somewhere else and pick up other girls, "to play with." She said that she didn't want me to think her a slut for being her own uncle's girlfriend either. It was just something that had happened.

My dad gets dressed and lets me get dressed. Darleen watches us dress, but remains naked. He says he'll give me a ride home.

Darleen and I put the couch back together and push the rattan coffee table back in place. She covers up again with the dirty blanket and asks me to flip the switch on the wall to turn the TV back on.

Just before my dad and me left the room, she tells me that if I go to the police that she'd certainly be arrested too, that she had raped me, too, every bit as much as my father had.

But the fact was I was too ashamed to tell anyone, just like my mother had said that she had felt.

When we go out the front door my mother's car is parked across the street. I walk over to her. My mother is crying. She doesn't even see my father.

She drives me home. I thinks about telling her that I know that she is a liar and that she had been a slut when she was my age, that I'd seen the photo, seen the proof. But I don't.

My mom and I start to argue again, our same old arguments. She didn't even ask about what had happened to me in the house, what I had seen or heard from the people, my own family, my father's side of my family, in the house.

But she does tell me never to go back to my father's house.

I am angry, but I got angrier. I am proud and stiff-necked, like the Bible says the Israelites were. I tell my mother that he is my father and that I am 18 now, an adult, and that I'll visit him as often as I want. The more she said no, said that I couldn't, said that I shouldn't, the more she told me what an evil and vile man he was, the more determined I became to visit him often, just to spite her, to visit him as often as it took to show my mother that my father was a good man, to show her that he loved me and wanted me in his life just like other fathers wanted their daughters in their lives.

Besides, he had said that she had visited him every day after school. Why shouldn't I do the same?

The very next day after that I go back to my father's house, ride the bus to his street, having told my mother that morning that I was going.

I can see how much it drives my mother crazy, and I love that it does.

I even invite my cousin to our house for the weekend and brought her to our church and introduced her to everyone as my cousin. At night we lay naked in bed laughing and sucking each other's breasts and fingering and licking each other. My mom's room -- she doesn't share a room with my stepfather -- is close enough so that she could hear us laughing and giggling.

When I go over to their house, I let them do whatever they want to me and I do whatever they say. I don't mind. We even go to the mall, my cousin and me, to find girls for us to play with, usually with my father, but sometimes just us girls. It's a small price to pay to show my mother.