Forever My Love Ch. 08

David had been to Ben's place but nothing was helping. The boy had suddenly just become a ghost, nowhere to be seen. Oh, how he so much wanted to see him and talk to him and hug him.

David was having constant flashbacks from that time. For instance, he remembered running away with Ben but couldn't understand why. He had flashbacks of their lives when they were struggling and they seemed so happy. It was starting to get confusing.

Minutes turned to hours... hours to days and days turned to almost three weeks and he was nowhere to be seen. Nothing was making sense for David anymore and he didn't know what he was to do. Was Ben gonna avoid him forever?

***

Ben was lying on the couch with his head nestled gently on Alejandra's lap. He was looking a little weak and pale from all the worries and thinking he had been doing the previous weeks. He barely ate, if not for Alejandra who did her best to force him. Everyone was starting to get worried.

Alejandra looked down at him with worry, her heart heavy with concern for her beloved son. She passed her hand through his hair that was screaming to be combed and sighed.

"Ben, what are you doing to yourself, son?" She asked with concern. "It's been almost three weeks and you've not left this house. You're starting to get me very worried."

Ben put up a slight smile that wasn't fooling anyone. "I am gonna be okay. I told you not to stay with me but go about your day."

"No!" She shook her head. "You're not gonna be okay and you know it. You're shutting down. It's not health. You barely eat or drink anything. I even have to force you to get out of bed. I know that what happened is very painful. It hurt all of us, son. But you can't just shut down on people that love you. It isn't fair."

Tears welled up in the Ben's eyes, reflecting the pain that seemed to have taken residence in his soul.

"I don't know if I will ever be the same honestly. It's like I've lost Leah twice and I don't know how to come back from that."

Alejandra didn't know what to say to that. It wasn't like she hadn't said every word of encouragement to him, but he wasn't snapping out of it. She just played with his hair and watched him. As the two were busy being cozy, one of the guards came to the living room.

He reported that David had once again come just like he did almost every day and was causing trouble. Alejandra sighed, hitting her head in frustration. She told the guards not to allow him in. But to her surprise, Ben told the guard to allow David inside.

Without even saying a word, Ben got up and slowly walked outside where he found the restless David moving about. Seeing Ben, David rushed to him and the two stood there for a number of seconds staring at each other.

Oh God, David wanted to hug him so tightly and just tell him everything was gonna be okay. But he couldn't.

"What happened to you, Ben?" He asked with concern. "You don't look so good. Are you sick?"

He tried to touch him but the boy retaliated.

"What are you doing here?" He asked harshly. "Up to now, I thought you'd get the message that I didn't wanna see you. But no... you keep on coming back."

David sighed. "That's because I wanna talk to you about something. What happened that day, Ben? I woke up and you were gone. You didn't say anything and..."

"What was I supposed to say?" Ben shrugged, raising an eyebrow. "Thanks for sex, it was amazing?"

David stood there looking like a deer caught in headlight. "What?" His voice was barely above a whisper. "Ben!" He got closer and put his hands on either shoulder of the boy. "What do you mean? Don't get me wrong..."

"What do you want me to say?" He shrugged those hands off, moving away from the guy. "We had sex. In fact, I used you just like before. You showed weakness and I took advantage of that. I was in a moment of pain and I needed some idiot to help me feel better. You were the only available one."

Ouch! David felt the words stab him in his heart. The pain felt like someone was rubbing chili in his wounds. His eyes became glassy and his breaths became harsh.

"Ben..."

"History repeats itself." He managed an evil grin. "It's funny how stupid one can be despite every warning that they've given, you still were weak. I bet you should have listened to mommy dearest and your husband. They were right after all. I am nothing but a shameless slut that wants what his brother has."

"No!" David couldn't accept it. "I am not gonna believe you. You're only saying that because you're angry. I don't know what I did but I am sorry, Ben."

"You didn't do anything to me. But please, I am begging you to leave me alone." He put his hands together. "I have had what I wanted and I don't need to associate with you anymore. If you don't leave me alone, I am gonna file a complaint against you. Don't say I didn't warn you."

He furiously turned to go back inside but...

"The first night we made love six years ago, it reminded of what happened some weeks back!" He hollered.

Ben stopped in his tracks and felt a shiver go down his spine. He froze there and didn't even turn.

"I met you at this bar and apparently I had been looking for you." He added, getting closer to the boy. "You were grieving over a loss and you needed to be with someone just like that night. I took you home and I didn't wanna take advantage of you. We made love that night and you bled."

The air was thick with nostalgia as those memories came flooding back. Ben felt a lump forming in his throat, fear taking him off his feet. A tear rolled down his cheek and before he realized it, his face was wet.

"You bled because I was the first guy you slept with. When I woke up in the morning, you were gone." David continued, getting extremely emotional. "I didn't know your name but you told me to call you 'wonderboy'."

Ben closed his eyes as the pain deepened, making him weak.

"I know what I said to you before hurts like hell but I am just so confused." He got nearer and touched Ben's shoulder. The boy shuddered. "I don't know who is telling the truth but I know my mind cannot lie to me. Ever since that night, I have not been the same. I can't stop thinking about you. I wanna hold you and kiss your pain away."

David got closer and placed his hand on Ben's shoulders. Ben's eyes opened wide and he felt his heart pounding in his chest, threatening to rip out. He covered his mouth to prevent any unwanted sounds. But he found himself frozen.

"Ben... I am going crazy." He pleaded. "I can't understand myself."

With a harsh breath, Ben furiously turned and glared at the man.

"That voodoo must be really strong, right?" He chuckled, crossing his arms. "Look at you, acting all crazy."

"Ben, this isn't a joke!"

"Then how do you explain that?" He yelled, shaking his head. "Last time I checked, you're happily married and you have a wonderful family. Whatever we had was a one-night stand and it meant nothing to me."

"I don't know how to explain that!" David snapped, breathing like a predator. "I can't explain it. All I know is that whatever I am feeling feels like I have felt it before." He got closer and cupped Ben's cheeks. "Whatever is happening has happened before. This pain... this yearning in my heart feel nostalgic and no matter how much I try to ignore it, I can't."

Ben took a deep breath, trying to get rid of some of the nerves he felt. He stared into David's eyes, seeing the sincerity in them. That night had meant something to him.

"David... you're a good man." He spoke softly. "You have a family that you love so much and an amazing child. Whatever happened between us was a mistake that shouldn't have happened. I am sorry for letting that happen but I can't continue making your family suffer." He slightly moved away from the man. "I can't continue being this bitter. Go back to your family, David, and love them. I am sorry for everything."

With those words, Ben turned and started rushing back inside.

"Ben!" David ran after him. "Please, listen..."

"Go away!"

Ben increased his pace and rushed inside the house, closing the door behind him. David was banging and knocking behind him, calling his name. Ben slid down and fell to his knees at the same time tears flooding his face. The corner of his lips pulled down, shaking as he tried to stop the overwhelming emotion.

"Ben!"

He gripped Alejandra and hugged her tightly before he broke down.

"Shhhhh...." She whispered, rubbing his back. "...there, there, my baby. I am right here."

"I want to get out of here." He wailed. "I don't want to be here anymore. Please... I can't take this pain anymore."

"I understand, and I agree." She encouraged. "You need a break from all this."

"I don't wanna stay in this country where I am constantly reminded of my losses. I wanna go away for good, mom. I am tired."

"Shhh..." She pulled away from the hug and cupped his cheeks. "...I agree and I will come with you wherever you wanna go. I will come with you."

Ben cried even more and hugged. The two just sat there and cried. Ben knew that this was not gonna be easy but it was something that he was gonna do. He had to go away forever in order for him to reduce a bit on the pain that he felt.

***

Isaac and Amber sat nestled together on the couch in Amber's room, sharing a quiet moment, wrapped up in each other's arms. Amber had her head against Isaac shoulder, and he gently stroked her hair. It had been a long time they had had such a quiet moment and they were embracing it.

As they enjoyed the quiet moment, a knock disturbed them and it didn't take time before David entered with a sad expression, closing the door behind him. Amber was surprised because she couldn't remember the last time her brother had entered her room since the last time they'd argued.

"David!" Amber was surprised. She got up from Isaac's embrace and slowly walked to her brother. She was worried. "What are you doing here? Are you alright?"

"I am not gonna lie, Amber." He sighed, running his hands through his hair. "I am so stressed and I want to apologize for the way I've been acting with you... with both of you."

"That's nothing, bud." Isaac smiled. "We understand that what you've been going through isn't easy."

David felt like crying but he knew he had to be strong.

"Are you alright?" Amber held his hand, squeezing it lovingly. "If what you said to me about Ben some weeks ago is why you feel bad, then don't worry about it. I am okay."

David remained quiet for a number of seconds. His heart began racing and he felt a huge lump develop in his throat.

"I... I... I slept with Ben three weeks ago."

Amber's eyes widened as she clutched her chest in disbelief. Her jaw dropped and she froze where she stood. Isaac on the other hand felt his body tremble as he processed the shocking revelation. His eyes darted around the room as he struggled to find words. Amber and Isaac glanced at each other before they finally managed a word.

"What?"

"I know... I know..." David sighed, hitting his head. "It shouldn't have happened. I am a married man, but it happened in his most vulnerable moment. He was grieving the loss of his child and I just wanted to be there for him. One thing led to another and we had sex."

"Whoa!" Amber's voice was barely above a whisper. "Wow! I don't even know what to say? It must be an awful feeling to have and..."

"That's the thing, Amber." He shrugged. "I don't feel awful about it. I don't feel guilty about it and I am glad it happened. I am so confused,I feel like I might go crazy." He took a harsh breath and sat on the couch, staring at the stunned couple. "What confuses me the most is that I feel like everything that happened this time has happened before. I have been having flashbacks ever since."

He began narrating them of the things he's been able to remember and how he remembered the first time he had slept with Ben.

"That's what I remember." He couldn't tear his eyes away from Amber. "The night with Ben, I didn't even know his name. I remember talking to you and explaining things. I remember looking for Ben without finding him and almost giving up."

"David..." Amber sat beside him and squeezed his shoulder.

"And knowing all this, I just feel like what I've known has been a lie." He said with tears in his eyes. "I feel awful after knowing this and looking back at the way I spoke to Ben. The way I spoke to you. I am so sorry, Amber. You told me not to believe everything I am being told but..."

"No, David, forget about me. What about Ben?" She asked. "Have you talked to him about what happened between you two?"

In sadness, David shook his head. "He's refused to talk to me. In the last three weeks, today was the only time I managed to see him. And the way he spoke to me, it was so painful. He doesn't wanna see me ever and just wants me to be with the family i said he's been trying to destroy."

"I am so sorry, buddy." Isaac said softly. "I can't even imagine to think what you be going through."

"I don't know what to do."

"I can't help you!" Amber said softly. "The only time Ben calls is to talk to Michael."

"Ben has been calling?" David couldn't mask the shock in his voice.

"Every day. He calls to talk to Michael. How do you think Michael has not been asking about him?"

"Oh God!" David placed his face between his palms, feeling conflicted. "I feel like I am going crazy, Amber."

"I know, but it's a good thing you're remembering, David." Isaac slightly smiled. "During the time Ben was in your life, I wasn't here and I never actually met him. You had gone with him for months and when you reappeared, you were getting married to Jim. Only you know what happened during that critical period and only you have answers. We're here to support. It's a good thing you're remembering so that once and for all, you can have the answers you seek."

David raised his head and stared at his best friend.

"What if everything I've been told has been the truth?" He said with a tear rolling down his cheek. "What if the past is scary and may just open old wounds?"

"At least, you will know." Amber smiled, cupping his cheeks. "Once and for all, you will closure and you will live happily. It might still but I think you should be ready for anything."

David was quiet. His heart beat so fast he felt like he was gonna pass out. Amber and Isaac might have been right but was he willing to face his past again? Only time will tell....

***

As the dull hum of conversations and the rhythmic clatter of footsteps echoed through the bustling airport terminal, Ben sat with Alejandra at the Gate. His weary eyes were fixed on the departure board, each flicker of the screen intensifying the knot in his stomach.

He was disconnected from his surrounding as he had flashbacks of 6 years back at that same airport when he had been the same way, broken, sad and at the verge of giving up. A dark cloud had surrounded him and this time he didn't know how he was gonna survive it or if he even wanted to.

The announcement crackled to life, a monotonous voice piercing through the air. Ben didn't even hear anything until he felt a hand on his shoulder, almost making him jump from his seat.

"It is time, son." She said in a loving tone, smiling at him. "We have to go now."

A lone tear escaped from Ben's weary eyes, tracing a silent path down his cheek. He hastily wiped it away, fighting against the flood of emotions threatening to engulf him. As the announcement repeated its urgency, Ben gathered his strength, stood up, and collected his bag.

"Yes!" He nodded.

With each step towards the gate, Ben carried the weight of his sadness. Lost in deep thought, Ben barely noticed where he was going until it was too late. With a sudden jolt, he collided with someone and heard a thudding sound.

"Oh my God, he gasped, raising his head." His eyes widening in shock. "I am so sorry, please, forgive me."

But as he looked up, he got a really unexpected face. Standing in front of him was a very beautiful woman with eyes that sparkled like an angel's, a warmth emanating from her smile. She was so beautiful and she looked like a high fashion model.

"Ben!" The woman enthused, literally screaming. "Oh my God, what a surprise!"

"Grace!"

"You remembered?" Grace jumped like a child as she pulled away from the hug. "I was thinking you wouldn't remember since you've become such a big fish in the business world." She teased. "I am so, so happy for you."

Ben nodded without responding. He felt Alejandra's hand on his, shaking him.

"Ben, we have to go." She whispered before she greeted Grace with a smile.

Ben nodded and stared at Grace. He hadnt noticed it before but beside Grace was a very beautiful girl who must have been 3 or 4 holding a big teddy bear. She was very beautiful and he got into his feelings. Everything was reminding him of his daughter.

"I got married 5 years ago." Grace continued, getting Ben to reality. "That is my first child, Maya. She's only 4 years old."

Ben gave a slight smile. "Congratulations!"

"Thank you so much and speaking of children..." She paused and glanced around. "...where is your baby? I would love to how that beautiful baby turned out to be. He must be a very big boy now."

Tears welled in Ben's eyes as he struggled to find the words. The pain in her voice was palpable as she finally spoke,

"My child didn't make it." His voice cracked, the words hanging in the air like an irreparable fracture.

The woman's eyes widened in shock, her hand instinctively covering her mouth.

"How? I am so sorry." She apologized. "This is so sad. What happened?"

"I am sorry." Alejandra chimed in. "I don't think Ben would love to talk about that and we might miss our flight."

"Oh!" She said simply, her eyes not leaving the sad boy. "I am just so shocked because he was very healthy when he was born."

"I... I didn't have a male child, Grace." Ben said as he wiped a tear that went down his cheek. "It was female."

"That's not possible!" Grace shook her head. "You had a male child, I held it in my arms when it was delivered. I did all the measurements and the dressing. You had a healthy, male child Ben."

Ben stood frozen in disbelief as he stared at the woman before him, trying to process the news. His heart hammered in his chest, his mind struggling to comprehend the impossible. His hands shook as he quickly gripped Grace's hands, his mind racing with a million questions and emotions too overwhelming to process.

"What? H-how?"

"Wait, how come you don't know you had a male child?"

Ben's mouth shook uncontrollably no word came out of it.

"When he woke up from the operation..." Alejandra spoke abruptly. "...the child he found was a girl and she was already dead. He was told that the child died a few minutes after it was delivered."

"No," Grace shook her head. "I can't be wrong. Ben's child was a boy, a very beautiful healthy boy. There's no way I can be wrong about this."

Ben was so quiet, flooded by a lot pf voice. His heart felt like it might burst from his chest. Everything felt so surreal, as if he were walking through a dream. The memories of the day he had lost his child flooded back with a crushing weight, threatening to suffocate him.

"You mean my child is alive?" His voice was barely above a whisper.

Tears streamed down Ben's face as a ray of hope began germinating.

To be continued....