All Comments on 'Fortune and Fortitude Pt. 01'

He has to include Quinn. Is she also a demon? Probably not. We need to know his powers or at least his potential. Too many imponderables to decide anything.

It would really depend on the specifics of Annika's goals. Kiara and Ria's goals could be combined into making the haven in the local area around Jessica. If he can build his power quickly enough to defend it. Though our hero doesn't seem manipulative enough to come up with that idea on his own. Just a thought though.

If he's 'OP main character' powerful, I'd like to see Jared dominate and take control of everything. His father did mention something along those lines. and I'm here to see that come to fruition.

loved it , and i think he will go with whats best for humans and the 4 demons in the house will be part of his harem when he has his powers.

Personally I'd have to go with Annika so she can make you stronger cause "might means right" and staying under Jessica's protection is probably a good Idea too.

Good start to what can be a great series. Jared should not agree to any deals at this time. Quinn could turn out to be a minor demon assigned to keep watch on Jared and dell in love with him. She will stand by his side as he fights for what’s right for demons and humans alike.

Jared should get control of his powers and make his harem with quinn in charge

Is Quinn who she seems to be or does her back story change everything for him when it comes out.

I need to know what Annika’s goals are to make an informed decision. I would say that her proposal being the most overtly sexual would make it hard to pass. However I’m sure it being a harem he will have all the protégés and Jess by the end. He should be the one in charge of all 4 demon women with his own goal in mind

Romance? To early to tell on the options Jared has right now.

He needs to remember what his dad told him, get started on is harem. Hehas a goood start with Quinn. then the 4 at the party. Let Quinn figure out the next step after she becomes his advisor or such.

Can he be a dragon?

Great start! I wrote a lot more but hit some stupid key combination and lost it all.

I don't know what he should do, but it seems like none of the 3 proteges' goals conflict with each other.

Like it so far. My suggestion is to ally with no one

For the moment, working with Kiara seems the most non-committal path. Whatever he does, since he’s apparently more powerful than the rest, he should figure out how to develop his power and get others to join his agenda rather than joining anybody else’s.

Well done. Definitely looking forward to reading more. Indirectly tie to all 3 girls.

Great story. I don’t want to vote really, but if he’s that powerful then does he need an alliance? Maybe listen to all of them to get up to speed then go his own way.

I think,..if he is so possibly powerfull, then to choose too quickly could be both deadly or beautifully sneaky. First thing though should, have to do with his inner morals(his good\evil balance) if you will. And we seen turmoil,but no...shall we say, tipping of the scale. but i digress,not at my comp , and 1 letter typing sux. plz ask again and KEEP Going. Hopefully for a long time. Very Much Enjoyed....Rothgain.

3rd straight well written story from you. I've thoroughly enjoyed everything you've written so far. Keep going

He needs to explore first - learn more about himself - spend some money - lose his GF - fuck the other protégés and probably Jessica. Needs to meet others.

You have lots of room -

I'd say, prevent the apocalypse, with others becoming either his helpers or enemies.

I am not a critic of any sort. I will tell if I like the story or not. I like the story a lot. AAAAA++++

Very creative start. Wondering about his mom... on to part 2...

First, the pacing is too fast. You are insinuating things in conversation that are in your head for the story, but not clear to the readers. Yeah, we can infer much... But that's just sloppy writing.

Second... Come on, you've got to realize. TALKING about powers and not displaying them is REALLY lame and completely unbelievable. Not only to your readers, but your damn protagonist should be scratching his head... You've shown almost ZERO display of powers and he just accepts it all... Really?

And the few you talked about were SERIOUSLY barely glossed over.

Creative. But poorly done. You've made a good start. I'd like to see how you continue.

@OpenWords

Dang, I was afraid of that. Thank you for your feedback! A lot of people are very eager to get to the later parts of the story, and demonstrating powers is a... complicated process for our purposes.

Is there anything in particular that I need to explain better? I agree overall, but I struggle to identify those moments.

I don't really have anything to add that hasn't already been mentioned in other comments except for one detail.

The part where the police officer refers to an M4 as "not just any rifle" seems very I don't know... Ignorant for someone who should know a thing or two about firearms. An M4 firing the 5,56 cartridge is just about the *least* impressive you can get in the world of rifles, it's one of the weakest round you'll commonly see so basically anything else will be more powerful.

How is it authors do not know which catagory for their story to be placed in? This is Sci-Fi & Fantasy - not Romance. Based on your assessment of the main character it supercedes what the story catagory should be listed under. Good grief.............

Interesting story I'll agree with what some of the other comments said. I will say I am interested to see where this goes.

Great start to the story. Very intriguing.

@Anonymous, that's an issue with the site not any author. They really need to let them put stories in more than one category when they fit in several.

Also... A foot thick door? Are you used to metric or something? 3 inches would be obscene for a fucking door...

@inno0cent_bystander Think more like a vault door than a typical building door. At least, that's what I was going for!

Wow, I've read the first two stories in this series and already I can see why almost all of your stories have been rated HOT! Looking forward to reading the rest of them and then going on to your other story ideas..

So far a pretty standard trope along the lines of Percy Jackson and Wanted (Mark Millar).

Mother intentionally raises son as a pacifist ignorant of his supernatural paternal bloodline.

On the bright side, the author is still working on this series, so maybe it will go all the way to an ending (unlike most series here).

Do not ask your readers how the story should go. You will end up with a completely selfish, unlikeable protagonist who is entirely different from the personality that you originally established for him, and your story will lack any cohesion or continuity. You are asking for direction from people who have no idea what scrupulosity is or how much it it dominates the thinking of one who suffers from it.