Four Summers

Her living room was modest and comfortable. We sat at opposite ends of the couch and continued our conversation from the restaurant. We joked we had solved climate change and helped create world peace.

There was a pause in our conversation before she turned to me and asked, "Adam, I kinda need to know something. Do you want to see each other a bit more or is this just a kiss and make-up thing for my awful behavior that day?"

"Uh, well, I enjoyed this evening. A lot. What do you think?"

"It's complicated because of Zoey. She's a sweet, sweet kid and I want to keep spending time with her. If you and I were to date and things didn't work out, then it'd be uncomfortable for me to come by and see her if, you know, if you and I were on the outs."

"I see. You're right, that could be uncomfortable."

"As much as I have enjoyed this evening, I made a personal decision to help your daughter and I think we probably should not plan on any further dates. Let's be friends and keep it there. OK?"

I was, quite frankly, surprised at this but I had to admit she was right. I thought about the problem we had when she asked me about sex and my trip and I could see something like it happening again. Eventually I said, "I guess I see your point. Let's just be friends. But I'm going to have to ask you to please not pry into my private life."

"Oh, Adam, I promise. That was stupid of me and I swear I'll never do it again. You know why I did it, don't you?"

"No, why?"

"I've kinda been attracted to you and, well, uh, more than once I've thought about you and me, uh, you know..."

"I guess you put a nail in that coffin, so it shouldn't be an issue again," I chuckled as I stood. When I got to the door, she came up to me while blinking back tears and gave me a nice hug. "You're a nice guy, Adam. Thanks for being my friend." I leaned down and gave her a tiny kiss on the top of her head and left to go home.

The kids were still awake and peppered me with questions about my date. Who was she? Was she nice? Was she pretty? Would I be bringing her home sometime? You know, things like that. Since Chris and I had agreed to be "just friends," I merely said I had dinner with a nice lady and we were friends and were not dating. The kids seemed to be saddened by the news but quickly ended up telling me about the TV show they had watched. Eventually they hit the sack fairly late and by the next morning the whole episode was forgotten.

They had seemingly forgotten it, but I still thought about Chris off and on. I was surprised she essentially confessed to having thoughts about us being together. No doubt about it, she was one attractive and smart woman, but I had to respect her decision, particularly because Zoey would have a good female role model as she crashed through the teen years.

For the next year or so Chris continued to see Zoey every three to four weeks. Zoey clearly liked Chris and would get so excited in the few days before one of their get-togethers. After most of these sessions, Chris would hang out at our house for an hour or so chatting with me and talking with Luke. I would usually give her a glass of wine, which she seemed to appreciate, while we visited.

Fourth Summer

Late the next spring Zoey and Chris planned one of their events for all four of us. They wanted to make it a surprise and wouldn't tell us where we were going; we were told to wear outdoorsy clothes and bring bathing suits. Chris drove us up to Rapid River and we ended up inner-tubing down a four-mile stretch. It was a blast and everyone had fun, but I particularly liked seeing Chris in her tight one-piece bathing suit with a deep plunging neck line, high-cut hips and nothing but webbing up her sides. On our drive back Chris had put on a wrap-around skirt but I still enjoyed the view all the way home.

Shortly after that, the school year came to a close and Zoey was going to 'graduate' from middle school. The school put on a special awards presentation with a 'moving on up' ceremony. Zoey wanted to invite Chris and I saw no reason not to. She called Chris and was ecstatic when Chris agreed to come. The assembly was held on one of the last days of the school year but Luke would not be able to come as he had a standardized national exam to do that afternoon. I arrived with plenty of time to spare and chatted with a few of the other parents in the foyer. Suddenly, I felt a hand slip around my arm and I turned to see Chris.

"Hi, Adam. I'm so glad Zoey invited me. I know she's bound to get an award, she's a smart young lady. You must be proud."

"Yeah, I am, thanks. Care to sit with me inside?"

"Sure, let's get a nice seat near the front." She grabbed my hand and gently pulled me behind her as she weaved between other parents in the aisles until we found some good seats.

After sitting down and before the ceremony started, we chatted and got caught up on each other's lives. Once the principal came to the podium, we quit talking and the crowd quieted down. The ceremony was brief but nice. The teachers each were able to give out awards and Zoey received two, one in math and one in science. She just beamed when she was called up on the stage. She looked right at us and waved before a sudden, puzzled look crossed her face. It was so quick I don't think anyone else noted it. I was confused until I realized what happened. Inadvertently, Chris had grabbed my hand and squeezed it when Zoey's name was announced and had never let go.

"Uh, I think she just saw us holding hands," I whispered to Chris.

"Oops," she replied and released her grip.

After the ceremony we met up in the lobby where Chris and I gave Zoey big hugs of congratulations. We admired her certificates and Chris took pictures of Zoey and me. I turned to Chris as I took my phone back from her and asked she stand next to Zoey for a few pics, as well. While we were doing this, an older lady behind me said to me, "Want me to take a picture of your daughter with her proud parents?"

I laughed and thanked her replying she was my daughter and Chris was a good, close family friend. After the pictures the lady went to hand my phone back to me and whispered, "She may be a family friend, but I know she cares for you. I see it in her eyes."

How was I supposed to respond to that? I ended up thanking her and the three of us wandered outside. We stood there in the parking lot stalling and not wanting the good feelings to fade. Suddenly, I had an idea.

"Chris, want to join us for a celebratory dinner at Pizza Extravaganza?"

She agreed, thinking it was a great idea. Zoey was delighted and ended up going with Chris while I picked up Luke. We went to the popular restaurant and had soft drinks, well, I had a nice IPA, while the food was being prepared.

Zoey was talking a mile a minute and giggling and whispering in Chris' ear. Then she turned to me and asked, "Dad, why were you holding Chris' hand during the ceremony?"

I didn't know what to say, however Chris rescued me. "He wasn't holding my hand; I was holding his. I was so nervous and excited for you that I needed to grasp something while they were announcing the awards."

"Oh" she responded a bit crestfallen, "I thought..."

"Oh, Honey, remember we're good friends, that's all."

Zoey's mood seemed to shift a little with that, but we still were in a festive mood until we left. Once the kids were in my car, I waited for Chris to get into hers. We stood there a few seconds chatting before Chris looked up at me and said, "Just so you know, I did enjoy holding your hand. And it was kinda fun when that grandma thought we were a couple."

"Yeah, it was. Hey, thanks for coming. Goodnight."

"Adam," she spoke up, "Could we do another lunch sometime, maybe?"

"Sure, just give me a call," I responded as I smiled at her and turned back to the kids and my car.

Once in the car I got the third degree from Zoey and Luke.

"Dad, are you two really only friends?" "Yeah, Dad." "And what's with the hand-holding?" "And why'd you ask her to dinner with us?"

"Look, guys, have I been dating anyone lately? No, I haven't. So, no, we're just friends. I happen to like her and she's done a world of good for both of you, well, for all of us."

For a few minutes there was nothing but quiet until I heard some whispering and giggling from the back seat. "Uh, Dad," Zoey spoke up, "You know, it would be OK with us if you dated Dr. Chris. She's pretty neat."

"Why thank you, Zoey, I'm glad I have your blessing," I laughed, "But I don't think she wants to date me."

"How do you know?" asked Luke.

"Well, to be honest, we have talked about it once and she didn't want to get involved."

"What if I talked to her?" asked Zoey.

"Now look, you two, stop it. I am, in case you forgot, a fully-grown man and I get to decide how to lead my life. Chris made it clear we are to remain friends. If it means that much to you, well, maybe I'll do the dating scene someday. You know, use a dating app or something."

"Dad, I've heard that those are filled with desperate women who are looking to get laid!"

I pulled over and turned to her. "That kind of talk is totally inappropriate coming from my daughter. I wish you'd not use that terminology. Now let's get home. No homework from now until September, right?"

The change in topic seemed to work wonders and they were excited and happy when we got home. For the next day or so there was no mention from them of Chris and me. I was able to call Chris and we agreed to a lunch at some point during the summer.

In the meantime, I had made summer plans for the kids. It was going to be a patchwork operation. On some weeks they'd be at a 'scholars summer school' where smarter kids could do neat science experiments and even some programming, as well as spend some time at the local university. Other weeks would be unsupervised time at home but with Mrs. Reece looking in on them. Then they each had two weeks scheduled at an old-fashioned summer camp on a lake.

I had pretty much forgotten about our casual plans for lunch when Chris called for a lunch get-together. We met at a small, boutique lunchroom near her office. She was there before I arrived, stood up and gave me a tiny hug and a slight kiss on my cheek.

"Thanks for coming, Adam. I've desperately needed to get out of the office lately."

"Oh? Something wrong?"

"Nothing and everything. There's no one thing that is wrong, but I've had some real difficult cases lately and they do tend to wear me down unless I take care of myself," she responded.

"I know you can't talk specifics about them, but if you want to vent, just let it fly."

"I'm afraid if I do, I'll just get more depressed. Lately I've had a couple of bad, bad abuse victims and those poor kids are going to be screwed up for the rest of their lives. Their trauma won't go away even with the best counseling in the world. So, I need to talk about something else...How's Zoey? Luke?"

"Doing great. They are at a science camp at the U for the next three weeks. I didn't think Luke would be terribly interested but he is learning some things. Zoey, however, loves it and calls every day and talks my ears off with what she's been doing. She even got to dissect a frog and told me she now wants to be a doctor or a vet."

"That doesn't surprise me at all. Smart girl and she's got a very analytical mind. And Luke, I don't know him as well, but he's no slouch either."

"Yeah, I know Emily and I were fortunate to have them. Good kids. Hey, uh, could I talk business for a few seconds? Do you professionally think they've recovered fully? I mean, from Emily's suicide? I still worry..."

"Adam, you've got some strong kids. It's been, what, nearly three years now. I think they are well adjusted and though they may still miss her, I don't think there will be any long-term problems. Certainly not like those abused kids."

"Thanks, I like to hear that. Look, can we talk about something more pleasant, maybe?"

"Yes, I would definitely love to change the subject, that's why I asked for lunch. So, how about the Otters, think they'll be in the playoffs come fall?"

Once we switched to sports and the news, our moods improved and we had a nice time. We laughed, told jokes and the time flew by. Suddenly, she looked at her watch and declared she was nearly out of time, wrapped up the rest of her sandwich and rushed to the door. She came back to me and said, "I didn't get my good-bye hug."

I stood, threw some twenties on the table and walked out with her. At her car she turned to me, reached around me and got her hug. I have to admit it felt good, almost too good, but she had made it clear we were to be friends and nothing more, so I broke the hug and wished her a good afternoon.

That night I got a text from her:Thank you

Ur welcome Nice lunch

Meant the hug Was nice

Yes Gnite

It had been quite some time since I had spent any time romantically with a woman and I was actually looking forward to the summer when the kids would be gone for part of the time. I figured it would be a chance to meet someone nice, maybe someone like Diana. Quite frankly, I was tired of solo sex as my only release. As I wasn't familiar with online dating sites or apps, I spent one evening, right after the kids left, researching the apps and eventually chose one. It seemed to cater to singles my age and was fairly low-key in its approach. I signed up, paid my dues, created a profile and uploaded my photos. I was honest in saying I was widowed, but left the suicide out of it.

Within twenty-four hours, I received a few hits from women who wished to get together. I reviewed their profiles and chose two of them, one a blonde school teacher named Susan and the other an Asian appearing woman who was an accountant.

Susan and I got together at a local coffee shop. She was pleasant, attractive and intelligent. We got along just fine and agreed we'd like to meet again for dinner. I thought our dinner date went well but when we arrived back at her place, she turned to me and basically told me, in so many words, she was not interested in continuing to see me. I tried not to let it get to me, after all we were just trying to get to know each other and nothing had been promised. But my male ego sure took a hit with that.

A few days later at another coffee shop, I met the Asian lady. Her name was Joyce and it turns out she was half Anglo and half Japanese. She was born to a Japanese woman who had met her serviceman husband when he was stationed near her home. Joyce was a delightful and bright accountant working for one of the big five firms in our community. She was divorced and, just like me, was getting back into dating again. We seemed to hit it right off and agreed to getting together again. We met up at a street fair where we walked along and looked at the booths, did a little shopping and had Thai chicken satay for a late lunch. By the end of the day, I had a comfortable feeling about her and I gathered she felt the same way because she started to hold my hand as we strolled along. At the end of the afternoon, she cozied up next to me and said she'd love to see me again. When I dropped her off, she came to me and gave me a slow, warm and promising kiss but did not invite me in.

Our next date a few days later was for dinner. The restaurant was upscale, almost chichi, and so I dressed up with a sport coat and tie. Joyce came to the door wearing a slinky, skin-tight dress which emphasized her nice figure. The neck line was daringly low and gave glimpses of promising cleavage and the hem was a few inches above her knees. When I saw her, I suddenly thought this could be the night that my drought would be over. Everything about her promised sex.

At the restaurant we were ushered to a small and fairly private table near the back. Our waitress was a pleasant and bubbly college-aged girl who took great care of us. She told us the specials, recommended a nice wine to go with our food and talked us into a light but tasty dessert.

Right as we were finishing our meal, I looked up to see Chris walking back to the restroom. There was no way she could not see me and once she did, she seemed to falter a second and nodded to me before hurrying off to the restroom. A few minutes later she returned and walked by us without a greeting and went back to her party, which seemed to be a group of women celebrating someone's birthday. Joyce and I had to walk by their table to leave and when we did, I looked right at Chris, nodded and said, "Hey, Chris. Enjoy the party." She smiled, but it was almost a grimace and said 'Hi' back to me.

Outside Joyce seemed subdued and as we were driving back to her place, she asked who Chris was. I told her Chris was the counselor for my kids after my wife had died. At that point Joyce appeared more relaxed and was quite animated again. As we drove on, I got to wondering about her. She seemed nice but I got the idea she was jealous of my contact with Chris. 'Good grief,' I thought to myself, 'Can't a guy even have female acquaintances without his new date pulling the jealousy card?'

At Joyce's apartment, we lingered at her door and kissed a couple of times. They were warm and promising and I felt myself getting excited. Joyce looked up at me and said, "I promised myself I would take it slower, but you seem to be a nice guy, so I'll just come out and ask if you'd like to come in?"

As much as I wanted to, I declined because I was nervous about how she acted after I spoke with Chris. "Joyce, this has been a wonderful evening and I'd like to do it again and real soon. Thanks for the invite, but let's, uh, let's get to know each other a little bit more first. Maybe next time, huh?" She looked a little disappointed but kept a smile on her face and agreed to a 'next time.'

On the way home I started to kick myself for turning down what could have been a nice roll in the hay. Joyce was cute and smart but yet there was something about how dramatically her mood changed when I said 'Hi' to another woman at the restaurant.

When I called her a few days later for another date, she declined saying, "Adam, I was ready to take things further the other night and yet you turned me down. My feelings were hurt and I don't think it would be a good idea for us to pursue this any further. Sorry."

What? Usually, it's the guy who is pushing for sex and here the gal was offended I had chosen to take things a little slower. I just didn't get it, but I was glad anything like this was out in the open right away. As I thought about it, I figured she was probably pretty insecure; unhappy I greeted another woman and offended I turned down her offer at the door.

I was zero for two on the dating site and realized I might need to keep at it, so I logged on again and selected another couple of potential matches. I IM'd both of them and was waiting for a response when I ran into Chris at the super market.

"Hey, Chris, how are you doing?"

"OK."

"How's work going?"

"Not bad. Uh, I'm kinda in a rush," she said as she started to turn away.

It was fairly clear she didn't want to talk and was unhappy or upset about something. I quickly told her Zoey would be back the following week and to take it easy. I went back to shopping.

We finished up shopping at the same time and were in neighboring check-out lanes when I caught her eye. She did not smile and looked away quickly. I headed out of the store right behind her and decided I wanted to know what was going on with her. I hurried up and just as she got to her car, I spoke to her.

"Hey, Chris, something wrong?"

"Oh, Adam," she said as she appeared startled when I spoke to her, "Nothing's wrong. Why do you ask?"

"Chris, we've known each other for three years and I consider you a good friend. A friend knows when something is wrong. And something is definitely wrong. Are you OK?"