All Comments on 'Fourth Vector Ch. 05'

Looking forward to seeing where this tale goes. Definitely has the potential to rival Tefler's "Three Square Meals"! Keep up the great work!

The story has been great up to this point. I have been struggling with the story from a technological stand point. Best guess with your ships being steam powered, made of steel and sporting 12 inch turrets, combined with long range communication technology is close to the turn of 20th century with Dreadnought class ships. Even the Previous iron class ship being impervious to cannon fire. Jack had mentioned that Sorella was 100 years behind in technology but the damage inflicted and combat didn’t reflect this. The range of 12inch guns was 25000 yards, I felt the story didn’t reflect the difference in technology and let your story down.

Overall I’m enjoying where the story is going.

i have a few points, although I know this story has been up for a quite a while, I've only just come across it!

Firstly, this chapter makes jack et al., seem pretty stupid and there are a few reasons why. Firstly, his decision making is out of character with the idea of him (I thought) you'd been building. As people have said, the tech situation is... interesting, but that doesn't bother me as such, given your foreword. However, Jack putting on a bayonet for a sword fight? just seemed you were trying to write an epic battle, but there were other ways to do it i.e. watches him come close but just calmly and dispassionately pops a round into each of his knees etc.

my main constructive point though, relates to this chapter and the previous one. You made the villain too blatant. It was like you were writing a twist, but the reader was in on it and dealing with a main character who seemed to be thick as pig shit. maybe it would've been better to write the villain as genuinely charming and niklias (excuse poor spelling) as unappealing/rude initially, then the twist would have actually been good.

anyway, still planning to plough on through the remaining chapters! generally appreciate the worldbuilding you've done here, just a few bits i think would have made it go from good to great.

You're totally spot-on with your comments and in retrospect, I really need to redo sections of Chapters 3-5. This is my first go at an epic fantasy type of story and I definitely stumbled in these chapters with there being several things I need to go back and fix. I like the points that you made and will keep those in mind (as well as other earlier feedback) when that re-write happens on those. Hopefully you'll find the remaining chapters smooth sailing. Thanks for reading!

A bayonet? I must've read the rewritten version. There's been no mention of a bayonet yet. I was wondering if the marines had any given how their ammo tends to run low/out.

A lot of this story reminds me of, essentially, an isekai series written by a retired US Navy man called the Destroyermen. A group of ships stationed in the Philippines at the start of WW2 end up on an alternate earth and get into a massive war there. The first few books are similar to this in how the men have to figure out what's safe or trying to kill them and what's not. There are approximately 12 books out.

I am curious to know if there are any aircraft in this world.

This is a great story and I am really enjoying it! The tech shown on the naval rifles is way off. The longest distance I ever read about for a black powder costal cannon was about five miles and that was at the end of the 19th and start of the 20th century. They were obsolete before they were even finished being installed. The heavy cruiser that you describe would be considered by some as a pocket battleship like the Admiral Graf Spee who's 11 inch naval rifles could reach out 14 miles. The shore batteries in this story would not have even stood a chance. It did make for an interesting story though. Keep up the good work!

Can't add much to below comments, they said what I was thinking. The decision-making of the characters in this and the previous 2 chapters just don't fit well with the people we met in the first two chapters. Black powder cannon wouldn't make a dent in ships like the Tiger, Valiant, and Destiny...not even a little one. And if they could, then Java has absolutely no hope against the Occitanians, unless they only have slingshots and cap guns.

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A little painful, to be honest. I'll press on, because I have no doubt it gets better, but chapters 3-5 have been a real struggle.

Same old dummy Jack and crew. None of them are very smart. They have cannons pointed at you and lining up ammo. They have the info of the last push being in the west but here are the people getting ready for attack. Hey they are attacking you idiot. As I said maybe school is like ours and not good at all. It’s still good story but personally I have always had a problem with people being dumber than they should be. That’s my problem. Thank you for writing. Enjoying most of it so far.

Cannon balls aren’t going to hurt the task force ships. Maybe some dents. Several direct hits in same spot maybe a small breach

Attack now but it be two-three days before we can actually attack. Nice job Jack

Come on men!! Let's attack the fort. Let's enter the fort. Oh yeah, the great military commander I am, forgot that I've still got my own ships bombarding the fort. Oh crap. My bad.

I don't like Anna's character. the girl constantly took the next man of her older sister for herself, and then left him as soon as a new boyfriend appeared with her sister. and so on in a circle. so why is she angry now? I see no reason for her to fall in love with the protagonist. in her life there was so much sex with different men that another new partner cannot become some kind of miracle, in my opinion ... Only rivalry with her sister is not enough for such a furious reaction. or you need to change her past, for example, she had very few partners before. or make her reaction calm, for example, she quickly switches to another man.

What an ending! The plot thickens!