Fourth Vector Ch. 24

"Not much, but I'd figured I'd come check on you before we left," said Jack, taking a seat near Pete's desk. "It won't be the same without you in the task force, you know!"

The look on Pete's face said that he knew all too well. Without a ship to command, Pete had been ordered to wait at headquarters, and he was given a comfy desk job while his arm healed. It wasn't the worst thing that could happen for losing his ship, but for a fighter like Pete, being behind a desk was a tough pill to swallow.

"You sure you can't smuggle me aboard?" asked Pete with a hopeful expression. "Hell, you don't even need to give me an important posting. I'd take scrubbing the deck over being stuck one more day in this office."

Jack chuckled. "If I thought I could get away with it, you'd already be aboard theDestiny. How's the arm by the way?"

"Itchier than hell," replied Pete, taking the moment to grab a ruler from his desk and slide it down the small crevice between the cast and his bare skin. He scratched at a spot halfway down his arm before yanking the ruler out. "I have another four weeks to go until this cast comes off, and I'll be damned if I don't yank it off right here."

"I had one of those when I broke my arm when I was twelve," said Jack. "I still remember how happy I was when it came off."

"I'll be sure to let you know once mine comes off. Maybe then you'll get me a spot back in your task force," said Pete.

Jack nodded. "Just say the word and you're there."

They spoke for a few more minutes until Pete was called away. With time to spare, Jack stopped over at the naval hospital to see Luke and Kim, both of them still healing the best way they could. Kim espoused a similar view as Pete did with both her legs being in casts, but overall the two of them were in good spirits as well.

They would have extra time to heal as well. With theValiant still in dry dock being worked on, the two could hardly have left otherwise. It would still be a solid week before the light cruiser was in condition to sail, giving Luke and Kim more time to heal. It was inevitable that they would have to catch up to him either in Belfort or on the way back to the Vector, but at least they were alive. They would get their chance to fight again.

After he left the hospital, there was one more place he was needed. First, he stopped back at theDestiny to grab Kat, the blonde Galician woman putting her arm around his as they made their way back to the entrance of the docks. He thought about asking Abigail to come with him to their destination, but he stopped short of extending the invitation. Nothing had changed with her mourning of her sister, and the brunette commander still remained sequestered in her quarters without visitors.

The fact that she was still content to be alone concerned him greatly, but what else could he do? He was starting to wonder if this arrangement would be permanent and that scared him the most. Without her by his side, he felt like something was missing, like half of his soul had been tugged out of his body.

It was a feeling he was still struggling to get used to.

Jack caught a cab for them that took them deeper into the city, stopping at the train station shortly before noon. It was snowing again, and large flakes were already starting to cover the ground once more. Jack shrugged off the small amount that had appeared on his shoulders as they walked inside the train station, quickly making their way to departures.

It wasn't hard to find who they were looking for once inside.

"Uncle Jack, Kat! Over here!"

Jack grinned as he leaned low to sweep up Blake, wrapping him a bear hug. "I'm going to miss seeing you guys every day. I know I certainly got used to it out here."

Blake pulled back and made a weird face. "Yeah, but we'll see you in Belfort, right?"

"Right you are, sweetie," answered his mother with a knowing smile, appearing by their side.

"Belfort it is," confirmed Jack. "About a week from now."

"Maybe longer now, right Jack?" asked Jocelyn with a worried look on her face. "Don't you have to take the longer way now?"

Jack nodded. He'd been planning on taking the southern route to Belfort. He would slip out of Aberdeen Bay and head south to Worchester in Thessaly before moving through the Ruthenian straits but recent events had made that route unwise. The declaration of war from the Ruthenians had been a long time coming, meaning Jack would instead move through the channel between Occitania and Java. With the Occitanian fleet largely still in port, the chance of running into a hostile force in the channel was lesser than sailing closer to Ruthenia.

"It'll be all right," replied Jack, repeating a conversation they'd had a few days ago. "We've been expecting the Ruthenians to get into the war anyway. When the time is right, we'll fight them and beat them too."

Jocelyn nodded nervously, her arms draping protectively around Blake. It was a hard thing to steward a family during wartime, especially if it seemed like threats could come from any direction. Jack sympathized with her and pulled her in for a long embrace.

Once Blake was free, he wormed his way into Kat's arms, giving her a hug with as equal intensity as the one he gave Jack. During the time spent in Aberdeen, the boy had become quite fond of her, usually spending a good portion together while Jack visited with his sister.

The feelings were mutual as well, as Kat had tears in her eyes as she hugged him tightly.

"I'll miss you too, you know? You've been my little buddy this whole time," she said as she set him back down. "We'll have to find some cool things to do once we get to Belfort."

Blake grinned. "Count on it, Kat! Maybe you can come to my school so I can show the other kids my Fourthie friend?"

Kat giggled. "If I thought we could get away with it, I'd already be there."

As Kat stood back up, she embraced Jocelyn and whispered a few things in her ear that Jack couldn't make out. Their relationship was also developing nicely, and even if Jocelyn couldn't fully understand his relationship with both women, at least she welcomed them with open arms.

In the next moment, the train's conductor let out the last call warning.

"We really need to get aboard," said Jocelyn as she moved toward her brother once more. "I'll see you in Belfort, okay? You have our new address, right?"

Jack patted his breast pocket. "With me safe and sound. Don't worry, I'll see you in a weeks' time."

Jocelyn smiled as she reached down to grab Blake's hand. "Perfect. I love you, Jack."

"Love you too, Joce," said Jack as he reached down to high-five Blake.

They were gone quicker than he realized. No sooner were they safely aboard the train than the wheels began to churn as steam billowed from the engine. Soon, the train was off. Jack and Kat watched it for as long as it was visible until it was finally gone.

"I'm going to miss them," said Kat finally as she slipped into Jack's arms.

"You and me both," he replied, his nose already buried into her blonde locks.

"You know, I know she's not technically your sister, but I'm so glad I got to meet her," said Kat, pulling away to look back at him. "She's a part of your life and has been there for most of it. Being around her and listening to her stories from when you were growing up gave me a new perspective on you."

"What kind of perspective was that?" he asked with a chuckle.

Kat leaned up to kiss him, long and desperately. "That you're the man I want to spend the rest of my life with."

"Didn't you know that was already ordained in prophecy?" he teased.

Kat giggled. "Like there aren't a million other 'fair seeds' you could find in Galicia."

"True, but none of them are the regent, are they?"

Kat laughed and buried her head in his shoulder. They spent a moment composing themselves before leaving the station, catching another cab back to theDestiny. They walked back to his quarters, and as soon as they entered, Jack tossed his cap on his desk while she removed her shoes. Jack intended to get some work done before they left Aberdeen, but he was working at his desk no more than five minutes when there was a knock at the door.

Jack growled. "Every time I sit down to do something, I always have a visitor."

Kat laughed and got up from the bed. "Such is life when you're in charge, my love."

They were both startled when they saw just who it was.

It was Abigail.

She was dressed in her uniform but otherwise she looked a little more worse for wear. The bags under her eyes hadn't gone away and there was still a tinge of red in them from all the tears. What made Jack nervous was that her expression was unreadable at first.

"Abigail!" said Kat in a shocked tone.

"Hey," replied the brunette commander simply. "Can I come in?"

"By all means," replied Jack, gesturing for her to come in.

Once she was across the threshold, it was the first time she'd been inside his quarters since the day of the battle. She was so close that he could even smell her scent, a lovely mix of lavender that reminded him of all the times they'd spent in each other's arms.

She sat down at the empty chair at his desk while Kat hovered just beside it. The tension in the air was thick, and Jack couldn't easily get a read on her intentions for being there.

Part of him feared the worst.

She's here to break it off, he thought.She's weaned herself off of me during this time, and now she wants to be truly free. His stomach nearly dropped out of his body at that thought. There was no way he wanted to lose Abigail.

She didn't let him suffer in silence for very long. "I'm sorry I've been so absent lately."

Jack shook his head. "We understood why. Are you okay?"

She shrugged. "I'm getting better. It still hurts and I suppose that it always will. You just can't replace a sister that you've spent your entire life with."

Jack nodded as his thoughts turned temporarily to Jocelyn. Even though they weren't blood-related, Vera would never completely replace the space that Jocelyn occupied.

"I really wish we could've supported you in a better way," said Kat from her side. "It felt awful not being near you when we know how bad you had to have been suffering."

Abigail nodded. "Suffering is a good way to put it. When I first found out about Anna, I was . . . inconsolable. I've spent my entire life watching out for her so for her to die on my watch just seemed like the total definition of failure. For a while there, I blamed myself entirely for her death."

"You can't do that, Abigail," argued Jack. "That wasn't your fault."

"No, it's not," she replied. "But the mind plays weird tricks on you when you're upset. And once I made the link, I didn't want to be around anyone. I wanted to be alone with my grief and suffer in silence, thinking it was the only way I could give penance for her loss. I suppose that's the reason why I went back to my own quarters."

Jack nodded but said nothing in response. It was clear she was working her way up to saying something and he didn't want to interrupt. He found his hands were sweaty in anticipation and wiped them against his trousers.

"I'm really sorry that I blocked you both out during that time," said Abigail, putting on a sympathetic smile. "Kat, I trust you like a sister. If I can talk to anyone, it should've been you. I know you made the attempts to come see me, and I'm sorry I turned you away each time."

Kat took a few steps forward and put her hand on her arm. "I'm still here for you when you need me. I'll always be there for you."

Abigail patted her hand and turned to Jack. "I'm sorry to you too, Jack. I don't have any excuses for treating you the way that I did. I know you cared and that's why you tried so much, but I just felt like I needed to do it alone."

"You never have to do anything alone," said Jack while gesturing to him and Kat. "You'll always have Kat and I. The three of us will always be there for each other.''

"Always," confirmed Kat.

Abigail let out a small smile as a tear escaped her eye. "I've missed this so much. I've missed you both. I realized something this morning that I'm ashamed to say took me a long time to figure out."

"What's that?" asked Kat.

"That there's nothing noble about suffering on your own," replied Abigail as she wiped away the tear. "That your friendships and relationships don't get put on hold because life happens. That's what I tried to do. I put everything on hold while I came to terms with it the best that I could. And do you know what I learned?"

Jack shook his head gently.

Abigail sniffed. "That Anna is truly gone and I can't bring her back. But I can always hold her memory in here." She tapped her chest. "And as long as you'll both still have me, I want to go back to the way things were."

Kat was the first to respond, rushing in to embrace Abigail as the other woman hugged her just as tightly. Jack pushed out from his desk to join them, wrapping his arms around the two women he cared about more than anything else.

"I can't promise you that I won't still be upset," said Abigail finally once the hug ended. "I might still be a wreck, I'll definitely be moody from time to time, and I might be a little irrational, but I want to come back here. I want to sleep in bed with both of you. I just really need you now more than ever."

"I don't know how you did it. To be by yourself for that long without so much as comforting word from someone else," said Jack truthfully. "You can have all the time that you need. But whenever you need a hug or an ear to listen to you, just let me know."

"I might need that a lot," Abigail warned.

"That's the funny thing about a relationship," said Jack with a small smile. "It comes with the territory."

Abigail started to laugh as she slipped into his arms once again. "I thought I'd never be able to laugh again. Thanks for that."

"What else am I here for," he teased.

There wasn't much in the way of talking for the rest of that afternoon. Abigail rejoined her place in his room, bringing all her things back over from her quarters. Once again, she was able to work beside him, offering him small tokens of affection every time his eyes met hers. It made his heart soar to have the old Abigail back again, even if she still struggled from time to time with the loss of her sister.

It was late that evening as they all climbed into bed, with Jack taking his usual spot in the middle of each of them. Kat was the first one out that evening, her soft breathing letting the other two know she was already asleep. As Jack turned to face Abigail, he found her eyes already on his.

"I really miss her, Jack," she whispered as her lip trembled.

"I miss her too," he replied softly.

"The last thing we talked about was her wish to leave the navy and build a better life for herself." Abigail's eyes locked on his. "Do you think she's in a better place now?"

He nodded. "I do. I really do. And as long as we live, she'll always have a permanent home in our hearts."

Abigail smiled. "More than anything, her loss has reminded me about my plans for my own life."

"Oh?" asked Jack.

She snuggled into him. "I don't care what happens in the future or where we go. All I know is that I want to spend my life with you. I want you to marry me someday and give me lots of children, Jack. Lots of them. And then I want to grow so old with you that we have trouble even remembering our first names. It's not only what I want more than anything else, but in a small way, it lets me honor her memory."

Jack smiled. "I think Anna would be happy with that. I know I would be."

And he meant it.