Frankie with a Roommate Ch. 04

Frankie with a Roommate 04

I woke up at 5 am and immediately went into shock. I'm in bed with Robert and he's naked. I checked myself out and was relieved to find my panties were still on and my bra was intact. All good news, but I needed to get Robert up, dressed and out to his Motor Home in our driveway before my roommate James wakes up. It's going to be one thing to explain to James why I dress and look like a girl sometimes and it's going to be another to explain why his best sports bud is naked in my bed with morning wood.

Oh, by the way, I think I just learned that morning wood starts at 5 am. That beautiful piece of manhood was soft when we dozed off last night and now it's ready to go. LOL, his brain is smart enough to force him to sleep on his back. He couldn't roll over if wanted to LOL.

I snuck to the bathroom barely dressed for that dreaded morning pee. I peeked into James' room and found him fast asleep. Great, but that won't last forever. As I passed the coffee table, I noticed Robert's phone buzzing. I shouldn't snoop, but who the hell is this Sammi10of10 chick and why does she attach such sexy selfies to her good morning text? I took a deep breath and reminded myself that Robert is a free man and can date whoever he wants. But, how the hell does he know someone this hot? And just what do her evening texts reveal? All I know is that she has great filters to create that glow of fire around her.

I exhaled and made a mental note reminding myself that it's OK to attach risky selfies to my texts. It's the 21st century and people are proud of their bodies. If the competition can do it, so can I.

But enough of the funny stuff. I have a serious problem here. It's a race against time. James is going to wake up and I really want to suck Robert's rod again. I flipped a coin in my head and ignored the results. I mean, I need to get him up, even though he's already up in another way. Besides, the covers were already pushed away, so it was like an invitation. I lowered my head down on his hard cock and began to suck him ever so gently. I quietly repeated to myself "take this Sammi10of10, I got your man's cock in my mouth". But then that sneaky SOB Robert tricked me. He was awake and wasted no time putting his hands on my head and helped out.

"Good morning to you to Frankie. Are you getting it wet so we can have real sex?"

"Good morning lover boy. Sorry, but you need to get out of here before James catches us. And I couldn't help myself. You have really nice equipment, but we can't fool around anymore than this."

"So, you're not putting out for me?"

"Oh, well Robert, we talked about this. Maybe I should stop and let you go pee and slip out of the front door. He's going to catch us."

"OK, I do need to pee, but who knows when we may be alone like this again. I mean, come on, I'm naked, I'm hard and you look so hot right now. I hope you're laying on your belly when I return."

"Hah, am I hotter than Sammi10of10 or was I just the next one available?"

"Whoa, slow your roll babe. Sammi is a good friend, but she doesn't even live in this country. Now hush and be ready for me. Did you check on James?"

"He's out cold. But damn it, Robert, good friends bring you Taco's for lunch. Sammi10of10 is bringing a seven-course meal and a little something for lunch the next day."

"Wait, are you mad or jealous?"

"OMG, have you seen her legs? I mean, they are all that and they are all right there in your good morning text. I guess I'm a little of both. I'm mad at you for having a hot girlfriend and I'm jealous that your girlfriend is that hot."

"Ah, no, no I haven't seen her legs. She owns a farm in the UK and wears coveralls all the time. Yeah, that's it, she a farmer girl. She spends so much time on her knees milking the cow I've never fully seen her legs and she wears rubber boots all day."

"OMG, you're such a guy. Do all farmers wear leg garters while they are plowing the fields? OMG, are you plowing her fields, aren't you? You SOB, have you been planting your seeds in her trench?"

"I may or may not have driven her tractor before. Stop with the jealously. I'm in your bed, aren't I?"

"You're a bigger idiot than I am. However, is her trench nicer than mine? Does her trench allow her lovers to plant seeds real deep?"

"I can't answer that because you won't let plow your field so I can plant my seeds. However, you both have lovely globes that lead right down the pit of the trench."

"Well, that sounds heavenly, but she's still the competition. She's beautiful, but she's still the Red Witch."

"Yeah, that's it. She's a Nun who owns a farm. She comes over pond every few weeks to support a fund raiser for virgin farmer girls who wear coveralls and boots in the field. It's a Nuns for Farmers thing."

"You SOB. Since when do Nun's wear Passion Red lipstick and a corset? Does she stay with you or does she stay down on the Nun Farm when she's here?"

"Well, ah, I think you're mistaking her corset for a burlap bag. Lots of farms have red bags that are form fitted. See? You know all about her. She stays on that farm on the east of town."

"Oh, yeah, and am I mistaking a hot leg garter for a cow bell? I really like those by the way. You should get me one from Gary's Sex Clothing outlet. A black one and a red one please."

"Exactly. I'm glad we cleared that up. She coordinates her leg garter with her cow bell pasties. So, now that I have come completely clean, are you going to drop those panties?"

"Screw you, Robert. You should have told me you have a hot girlfriend before you came in my mouth last night. But I have to know, does she prefer the missionary position over the doggie position?"

"I'm sure it's the doggie position. She also spends a lot time on her knees praying. I think she prays two or three times a day."

"Good. Doggie is an important vision for me. Now, I don't know why you're still here. You should leave now, but see if you can one of her work selfies for me. I'm a sucker for work selfies. Especially if she is teasing her followers with a work selfie while she's wearing those pasties you spoke of."

"I might have one photo of her at a private dinner party. I think she was praying again. Will that do?"

"Yes. Now get the hell out of here dirtbag. And don't come back until you find out if she has ever done anything outside and what's her favorite online store. Now beat it, you cheating jerk."

He started to leave. See? He is a jerk. He's not even denying anything and he probably has first-hand knowledge on exactly how Sammi10of10 likes her sex and her men.

"Wait Robert."

"OMG, you're a lot of work for someone who isn't going to put out. Now what Miss chit chat?"

"Well, even though I am mad as hell at you and I never want to see you again, I just wanted to say thanks. Even though you're a jerk, it was a nice date last night. And I promise I will never tell your Woman in Red that you cheated on her. Now go and never come back. But don't forget the photo of the Red Dream Queen riding horseback nude with long red hair. If you can get it autographed, you can have your way with me in 9 days."

"Stop getting so worked up. She sent me an e-mail and said she has a big surprise for me when she arrives in a couple of weeks. I'm pretty sure she's dumping me. I mean, what else could it be, right? So, am I coming back next Wednesday night? I'll pick up some butt lube."

"Get out of here and don't come back until at least 10 pm on Wednesday and pick up Lemon-Lime scented. But if Red Ocean Breeze has any advice on an exercise routine to tone up my butt cheeks like hers, I would appreciate it. Now get out of my sight Robert."

That was enough of that. I acted just like a scorned woman and began throwing his clothes and my pillows at him and told him to leave. I tried to keep my voice down so I didn't wake James, but I wanted this cheater out of here. I am so glad I didn't put out for him last night. I swear, I won't ever speak to him again. Or at least two weeks anyway.

In the heat of the moment, I grabbed my iPad and began searching for Sammi10of10 on Chang. I found her and sent her a friend request to her on her Chang page. Not to worry, I'm not mad at The Red Dragon. I won't leave any nasty comments. It's cheating Robert that I'm pissed at.

Just when I thought things were cooling down, I heard Robert start his Motor Home in the driveway. And I'm sure the rest of the neighborhood did as well. I carefully peeked into James' room again. He was still out and snoring. I figured I better check to see how many neighbors are staring at our house. I can see them from my bedroom window.

OMG, I forgot England is six hours ahead of me. Sammi10of10 accepted my friend request. And well, well, well, if she's a Nun, then a lot of people are going to hell. The Red Tinted Woman has a lot of followers and the comments they leave on her page have very little to do with praying for forgiveness. More like praying for a date or a week vacation at the We See Nothing Resort.

I went back to peeking out of the curtains I left wide open last night, I spied Mr. Campbell on the side of his house. If he thinks anyone is going to mistake his big high-power camera for a star gazing telescope, he's dead wrong. I'm going over there to give him a piece of my mind and to ask if got any good sex scenes on his videos. I threw on my long t-shirt and went outside to let old man Campbell know that it is over for the day and that he can go back inside and get some sleep. Nothing more to see here.

"Were you out here all night long Mr. Campbell?"

"I take neighborhood watch seriously. I didn't like that Motor Home sitting in the neighborhood all night, but it looks like you had fun. I may not be an expert, but he looked like a stud. Are you sure he doesn't have a girlfriend?"

"Oh, he does. Sweet Red Wine. And she is so red hot that it pisses me off. But it doesn't matter. He slept with me last night."

"So, you fucked him?"

"Well, no, he was passed out from drinking beer, but he was in my bed naked with a big fat hard cock."

"So, a normal 22 years old with a piss boner?"

"Shut it old man. It was great until I dumped him because of his precious Red Tart. They are planning a church wedding and she already has the leg garter to throw to the bridesmaids. The reception will be held on that east side farm in the Barn. It's by invitation only and your sweat has to glow to get an invitation. I'm just so happy for them."

"Cheer up. Another one will come along. But, hey, I think I have a good photo of you deep throating him on the couch if you want to make a revenge post. We all know how you like to post stuff."

"Thanks, but no thanks. I have always had a fear of lightning striking me dead. Maybe after the wedding. And just powerful is your camera? I was low on the couch and buried in his lap."

"LOL, you have fillings in Molar #17 and #24."

"Stop it old man. Enough chit chat, I need to go inside and check on James, but I'm curious, do any of you dirty old men actually fuck your own wives? What really goes on around here?"

"Oh, hell no, not in twenty years. I's a big circle from Chestnut Street to Pullman Street. You know when the circle has gone all the way around when Grandma Willis knocks on your door to borrow some sugar."

"Seriously? Grandma Willis is in the loop?"

"Hey, don't judge her. She has more game than most of these 40 something sluts."

"Hey, I'm not judging. I've had pancakes at her place three weeks ago. Best breakfast ever. So, what about you guys? Is that another circle?"

"Ah, more like a triangle. We perform oil level checks on each other every now and then."

"Hmmm, every now and then Mr. Campbell?"

"Fine, there are a few who need their oil checked twice a week, like Mr. Kerns. I stick to the Owner's Manual and get serviced every three months. Now, like you said, enough chit chat, isn't it time you started jacking me off? The Sun is coming up."

"Not now Mr. Campbell. Look around. We're in the middle of your yard and every window has the curtains pulled back a little. We're being spied on. And if you haven't noticed, your wife is waving at me with one finger. OMG, how does an old man like you know how to do puppy dog eyes?"

I walked this dirty old man a few steps backwards to block the view of at least half of the neighbors. I was going to rub him off over his old man Khaki's, but he managed to release himself while I was busy looking around to see who could see us. I cringed at the thought of jacking off his wrinkled old cock, but I made a promise a few days ago, so I had to follow through.

Well, I received two surprises, maybe three. One, old man Campbell is not a wrinkled mess, at least not when is hard. Two, how is that old guys can have a cock this thick? This thing is a two handed. These horny housewives must enjoy their weekly visits here. And three, this old man has some game. By the time he released his load the Sun was fully up.

LOL, I forgot number four. Even though his grunts and groans were the same as a younger stud, his release wasn't all that much. It would have been a sip of Tea compared to the beer mug I swallowed from Robert last night.

What I didn't quite get was why he kept mumbling something about me being his number one and why Mrs. Campbell had a broom in her hands. These were things for later. Right now, I need to see if James is up and moving. But look, it's nice to know that the Police patrol our streets so often. I waved at all the nosey neighbors and ducked inside the house. Huh, it looks like all the neighborhood whores suffered the same hand injury as Mrs. Campbell. But at least they had one good finger to stick up the cheating husband's ass.

Anyways, it's time to face the music. I walked through the front door and knew immediately that James was up. I could hear him in the bathroom doing that race horse thing. And because he drank so much beer last night and was taking so long, I actually had a chance to duck into my bedroom and bury myself under the covers and hide. I almost made that mad dash until I looked into the kitchen and noticed that he already started to make a pot of coffee.

Sadly enough, this isn't the first time James tried to make coffee in the blender. I couldn't leave him now.

I pulled my long PJ T-shirt down as far as I could and made him a coffee with the Keurig, because we don't even have regular coffee pot. We do seem to replace the blender every six months though. I walked to the bathroom door and shouted out that his coffee was on the breakfast bar. He mumbled something about being right out and some things I couldn't understand.

Once again, I thought about ducking for cover. I mean, what kind of conversation are we going to have when he can't literally speak yet? But I stayed in the kitchen and waited for the moment of truth. I lifted my T-shirt a little to show more of my bare legs and prepared for the conversation.

"Thanks for the coffee. I can't ever get that thing to work properly. We might need a new one. What time did Robert leave?"

As I stand in front of him in full female PJ mode. Hair, head band, panties, stuffed bra, the whole nine yards. I was even pulling my t-shirt up almost to the point of exposing my watermelon panties.

"No problem James. I'll show you how to work it later when you sober up some more. It's really simple. I think Robert left in the wee hours of the morning. I think he has to talk to his girlfriend at 5 am in the morning or something. She's a worldly woman, a Woman in Red, The Red One."

"OMG, Sam? She's so hot. Don't ever tell Robert this, but I get hard every time I see her pictures. He really got lucky. And she's an older woman too. She's 27. I can't wait for her next visit. She actually told Robert to tell me to plan a surprise party. I'm thinking she wants a 3-Way with Robert and me. I mean, what else could it be?"

"Enough about the hottie with the body. She's great. Why did you drink so much last night? I know you like your beer, but you were absolutely plastered last night. I was concerned for your safety."

"I don't know. It just happened. Did you get a new T-shirt? It looks too big for you. Give it me and I'll wash it. You know I can turn a 4X into a small in just one try."

"LOL, thanks, but my PJ shirt fits me just fine. Do you notice anything else?"

"Well, now that you mentioned it, this coffee smells so good, but the couch smells like sex. Did I bring some Ho Bag home last night and I can't remember?"

Oh yeah, I'm still standing right in front of him and I'm still wearing my bra and 34B inserts. Come on dude, I'm wearing watermelon panties and their satin. Before I spoke, I pushed my fake boobs up like the girls do on TV.

"No James, you did not. We carried you in from the Motor Home and put you in the bed. I was here the whole time and not one single Ho Bag was here. And no, Robert wasn't with a Ho Bag either, he would never cheat on the Woman Who Wears Red. But if he did cheat, it would be someone who was fine as hell and not a Ho Bag. Now, what else do you know this Red Bunny?"

"OMG, she looks so good in lingerie. It's like she's a model or something. Nobody can wear lace like Sammi. And her legs, OMG, they're like super legs. Did I tell you she was an older woman? Like a cougar."

"Yeah, yeah, Red Tears is over the hill at 27. Hey, maybe it's time for her to become a Nun?"

"If Nuns can dress like that, then I'm going to church. Hey, it's Sunday morning, right? Let's go to church."

"So, this Red Vixen is a Nun who likes to wear custom fitted under garments and leg garters who helps feed the less fortunate every few weeks down on the farm? Is that her James? I know nothing about her."

"OH shoot, how could I forget about her leg garters? Do they sell leg garters in the church Gift Shop? Hey, are you doing your hair different these days? It looks spikey."

OK, fine. I'm giving him one last chance. I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him to the Keurig machine. And yes, I brushed against him as much as possible. I even made him stumble over my bare feet. I mean, one pull on this t-shirt and I'm basically fully exposed. This is turning out to be the worse "I caught you" conversation ever. Walk away you say? Hah, I've said like 5 times already. I'm an idiot.

"You need another coffee. Here, I'll show you how, again. Get closer and pay attention. Here, I'll help hold you steady. You put a K-Cup here, close this lid, put your cup under here and push the button. That thing over there is the blender. This thing will always make coffee and that thing will never make coffee. Got it?"

"Got it. How long have we had this machine? And I really like your new cologne. It's fruity. Something I would expect from a girl, but it suits you dude."

"We bought the Keurig machine almost 2 years ago. Listen, I've been up all night dealing with the neighbors. I'm going to lay down for a while. Relax and watch your Sunday morning sports programs and try not to peek on me for a while."

"You know, you treat me better than my girlfriend treats me. I'll wake you later if you want."

"You haven't had a girlfriend since we bought the Keurig machine. Wake me up in an hour or so. And don't be shy, if I'm under the covers, pull them off of me. All the way off."

"Dude, did I miss a new fad? Are your toe nails painted black?"

Finally, a little progress. However, how is it that he hasn't noticed I'm wearing breast forms? WTF dude? I'm pointing north and he's looking at my feet.

"Oh, yes, it's a new fad. Black spikey hair and painted toe nails. You don't think it's gay, do you?"

"LOL, like you could ever be gay. Although, I've caught you napping before and I would imagine that there be plenty of guys would take a piece of that. You really have a girl's butt. How long do you want me to let you sleep?"