Freddie Ch. 01

Freddie 01

"Oh, there you are Freddie, a little birdie told me that I might find you here, so hey, now that we're here together, we should have a little chit chat. And I'm sure that you must have a favorite table to sit at, so why don't you lead the way so we can talk in private?"

Hah, a favorite table, what the hell was Jessie thinking when she said that I must have a favorite table at the coffee shop where I hang out on Thursday nights? I mean, the nerve of some pretty people, right?

"Oh, and I see they just bring you a coffee without asking, huh? How nice for you to be so well loved and so well known in the coffee shop, my dearest little Freddie. Oops, where are my manners, kiss, kiss"

"Jessie, um, hi, it's good to see you, so have a seat and let's cut to the chase. By the way, what is the chase?"

"Alright Freddie, I'll get right to it as I beat around the bush. You have some secrets and I know some of those secrets and you need a middle man or in this case, a middle young woman, to handle some of those secrets for you. Which is me, of course, part time detective Jessie and part time problem solver Jessie."

Well, everyone probably loves Jessi, but I was hating it from the moment the bells on the front door of the coffee shop began to ding. Or ring. Or maybe they danged,

"Hmmm, detective Jessie, huh? Well, detective, if you tell Lacy behind the counter or anyone else that my real name has three less letters in it, well, your police report will be very short, like "duh" or something."

"Oh, my silly and cute little Freddie. I'm not here to investigate history, I'm here to invest in the future. You see, I have figured out that you have a problem because you don't want the attention, an issue that you're having a hard time dealing with and another thing that I'll just refer to as your hair and leave it at that. And by the way, let me know when I've beaten around the bush enough."

"Well, the Landscaping company already replaced the bush, so let's get down to it before the concrete guys come along and pave over the bush, the bush that you have beaten to death."

"Alright then, let me start with the hair first. You can pull off a ponytail with a visor. But that's your business. And that brings me the problem you keep walking away from because you don't like the attention."

"Attention, huh? That's your middle name, right Jessie?"

"Exactly! And I don't even care that people hyphen it with Ho. So, a different little birdie told me that you often have great volunteering and donation ideas, but poor little Freddie is afraid of the attention that said honorable things would bring to him, so they end up in the trash and go to waste."

"OK, so we have established that you still keep in contact with my birdie sister, so what?"

"Before we get into how many birds I have in the backyard, tell me Freddie, aren't you just a little tired of all these "going nowhere games" that my birdies have informed me about? Don't you want to finally want to say more than 13 words to your someone, who we don't need to name now, but wouldn't like to walk around the upcoming festival with Donnie? I mean, he comes here sometimes to get those 13 words from you, doesn't he?"

"Um, you were speaking of the main reason you're here, Jessie?"

"Oops, forgive my wandering mind, Freddie, but the vision of you, well, let's no never mind all that for now. So, and hear me out, what if you go ahead and donate those 1000 tree seedlings to the Save the Planet festival, like one of my little birdies has told me you have thinking about and I run the show up front? You can quietly sit behind the scenes and think of 13 other words to mumble to, well, I guess I said I wouldn't mention Donnie's name, didn't I? And please, continue to hear me out. I have an entire story prepared about how I raised the money to fund the seedlings and as to why I'm leading such a good cause and I even selected a sun dress that will look amazing on the festival stage as I wave at the crowd like a Princess and pretend to be shy. You know, while you hang back in your nicely fitting boot jeans and act like all of the other people at the event."

"Hmmm. It seems that you have prepared, but it's not as bad as you make it sound, between Donnie and I. We're both just a little nervous, but we're adding all of the words and will have an entire paragraph before the end of the year, so, shut it. Or continue beating around the bush, I guess."

"Prepared is exactly right. And by the way, we will be distributing free bottles of water. And um, by another way, you seem to have another admirer like at 3 o'clock in Khaki shorts."

"Ugh, he's a regular here and he talks to me, but that's about it. So, getting back on track, I might actually like your idea, but I'm stopping right there for the moment."

"Thank you, Freddie, which brings me to the next bush to beat around. Do you think you can pull yourself together enough to get with Donnie on the down low by the time the festival rolls around?"

"On the down low? Did the precious Jessie just say on the down low?"

"Freddie, I know how to wear a Tiara and wave at a crowd, not certain lingo. Besides, I think it's sexy to talk about my little fem boy business partner and how we're going to work together to save the planet and get you on your knees at the same time, you know, in a down low fashion. Look, I know that this coffee shop is a safe place for you my sweet little Freddie, but aren't you getting other ideas? I'm sure Donnie is. Also, seriously, a ponytail and a visor."

Stupid business partner logic, right?

And Freddie, to let you know that I have thought this all the through, I wouldn't expect you to go all on the down low at the festival. We'll call that the beginning of the end. You can hang behind the crowd as I make my glorious donation announcement on stage, wearing one of my Tiara's and waving like only Princesses Jessie can, while you verify that we are serving mankind and catching Donnie's eye elsewhere other than this coffee shop at the same time. You two can talk and make arrangements for a, um, shall we say a private after party at your house? And if you're not catching on, I'm planning in fresh facial shaving time because I imagine that must be a bitch for a boy who likes to look good in girls clothing. How I'm doing so far, partner?"

"Well, thoughts and actions are two different things, so Donnie and I are in a good place. But yeah, the facial whiskers would ruin things. And oh, by the way, you're not wearing a Tiara!?

"Oh, I'm wearing a Tiara alright! But it will be a small one and I'll stick a bird feather in it or something. By the other way, have I over stayed my welcome today? Those behind the counter workers are eyeing us up pretty good."

"Well, I'll probably have a few questions to answer later, but I think some of the questions will be about you. It's not the usual that they see a young woman having a coffee with me, you know, wearing a Tiara on a Thursday evening. So, I guess I'll call the nursey and re-order the seedlings?"

"Oh, no, my shy little Freddie, you just worry about finding the perfect pair of Denim shorts to wear and I'll take it from here. I mean, imagine you and Donnie standing side by side while I announce the tree seedling distribution plan in my cute sun dress and then possibly the two of you take a walk around the festival in a pre after party down low fashion, right?"

Ah, what? Well, who could refuse such a "on the down low" proposal, right? But Jessie was smart enough to bring such a proposal to me because I do shy away from the public eye and getting out somewhere other than the coffee shop wouldn't be the worse thing in the world. Besides, Donnie and I just flirty talk, so I gave her, I mean Princess Jessie's idea serious consideration. Also, I promise I will stop saying on the down low.

Anyways, hey folks, I'm Fred and I enjoy a few days a week living as Freddie. I'm not all that, but I think I found a nice place between highlighting my boyish face and jeans. I mean, I have worn a headband before, but I have never worn a Tiara, LOL, because they are reserved for Princesses, right?

Well, let me tell you what happened next. LOL, I became scared as hell about the thought of possibly being in a down low situation with Donnie or anyone else and tried to cancel with Jessie. Which didn't work at all because you know, she already had promotional pamphlets printed up announcing the tree seedling donation program that of course, had her picture on it. Waving while wearing a Tiara. In a Teal sun dress.

Also, my sister, also known as a little birdie, called me with some very important information about the project. Carrie chirped at me and told me to shut it and spend some of my money and you know, do my part to save the planet.

So, fast forward two weeks and there I was, at the Save the Planet Festival in boot jeans high tops.

Well, wait, it may have been my bad for not asking enough follow up questions, but Jessie seemed to forget about telling me that the city was going to present her with an honorary plague, a sash to wear and hold a small Champagne party for her behind the stage. Also, her Teal sun dress was a little thin, so the sash wasn't all that bad. Oops, and Jessie had "people" all of a sudden.

OK, fast forward two weeks and there was Jessie in her thin Teal sun dress, her Tiara, in all her gloria and then there was me, hiding from the crowd in boot jeans and high tops, not to mention sweating and not from the air temperature. Oh, and with a pigtail and a visor.

I know that Jessie had planned for me to linger in the back of the crowd where I might be spotted by Donnie, but I already mentioned how scared and sweaty I was, so I switched it up and hid out in the coffee shop's popup tent with Lacy. LOL, and switched to one of their visors. Because Lacy made me.

And just like it was all planned out, LOL, I still caught Donnie's eye, even though I was trying to hide from him. I mean, just being out with even the remotest chance of talking to someone was a huge step, so I stood behind the tall coffee warmer distributing container thingy with the valve. Not that it helped as soon as Jessie spotted me changed the way she waved. I mean, it's not polite to point, right? But she managed to point Donnie right to my hiding spot.

"Hey, Freddie, isn't Jessie the best? I mean, all of the volunteer work and fund raising she does, right? I heard that the city is giving her an honorary plaque and throwing her a Champagne tasting party right after she finishes with her donation announcement. I mean, you and I, right? We should go backstage. I mean, you know her, right?"

"Hi Donnie, I'm surprised you found me with the festival being so crowded and stuff, especially with me crouching behind this big container of coffee. Listen, I know Jessie a little bit and a sip of Champagne would help to settle my nerves and all, but I don't even know how to get to the backstage area, so maybe another time."

"Ah, come on, Freddie. We can follow the signs that Jessie raised funds for."

"Oh, you mean the signs that say "on the down low this way" or was there another set of signs to follow? Besides, Lacy is swamped here in the popup tent, so I should stay. Or leave and go home."

"Oh no, Freddie, you go right ahead and follow all of those signs. My flask is full, so I'm good."

Stupid experienced coffee shop manager stuff, right?

Oh, was there a back stage party? Well, let me remind you of earlier in the story where Jessie self- proclaimed herself as Jessie Attention-Ho Jackson. Her words, not mine.

Oh, was the "on the down low" trail tainted with down low flirting? Oh, holy Donnie was serious snap!

"Alright Donnie, that's enough. The sun is still up and all, not that I'm scolding you, but that's enough. By the way, apparently, I'm having an after party for Jessie, even though I barely know her as I just stated, so you can by later. I just need a little time at home to, um, freshen up."

"Damn it, Freddie, I was hoping for a little more of a private party with you."

"Just, just hold on. Jessie and her "people" are on the Champagne, so we'll play that by ear. Anyways, give me a moment alone with my business partner, I mean Jessi, alright?"

Hmmm, I had the feeling that my vision of us watching TV together on the couch was a little different than his vision was. In my mind, I seen comfortable PJ capri pants and I think he thought about PJ shorts or something. Oh, and I'm leaving it at PJ shorts! For now.

Anyways, all of my thoughts and vision were quickly erased by Jessi.

"OMG Freddie, look at all this, will you? The plague, the Champagne, the people, me on yet another stage, this sash that somehow covers my panties through my sheer dress and OMG, I can't wait for our next big thing, which means we should talk about your first big thing, which means Donnie will be, and I say again, will be looking for sex tonight!"

"What? We haven't even been on a date yet. Isn't there a 20-date rule or something?"

"Or, and hear me out, no. So, you need to be prepared for that. I mean, LOL, give me one more glass of Champagne and I'll show you how it's done, but you will be sucking dick tonight."

"What? And hear me out, oh no I won't be doing that! Oh, wait, you have people now, so maybe one of them can step in for me or and hear me out, please, please figure out how to cancel this after party all together."

"Now Freddie, there comes a time in every relationship where these things happen. Besides, LOL, no matter what they say, there are no bad blow jobs."

Um, are sex conversations really that casual these days?

Anyways, hearing it those exact terms was a huge first in my life. Which, mind you, scared me even more, but the after party was still on and it didn't go that badly. I'm yet to pay for it, but Jessie's "people" managed to keep Donnie distracted enough to keep me off the hook, but I learned that I could host a small party while dressed, so that was a good thing, even though it was just a few people.

And with Jessie still carrying on about the "next big thing", I suppose other opportunities will present themselves to both of us. I mean, Donnie may not be involved, but that's par for the course, I suppose.

I mean, I dressed and I went to somewhere other than the coffee shop and only a few minor things happened and then I had people in my house after I chance to re-shave and re-apply my light makeup and nothing bad happened, so I guess I will move on to the next big thing myself, LOL, minus the first date sex, I hope.

End Freddie 01