Freedom

-The phone is ringing.

-It's picked up.

"Hello?" she says, ever so softly, and sleepily, and for a moment, it takes me back to the old days.

"Hey," I say. I know she has recognized me, cause I can hear the change in her breathing pattern, there's a silence, but I know she's there, just like she knows that I'm here.

"What do you want James?" she says, after a while, after I hear her get up, probably she just went to the balcony, probably doesn't wanna wake her husband up, or their child.

"How have you been Bella?" I ask. I can hear the rain pour down outside my window.

It's been 10 years, 10 years since I told her that I hate her, that I don't ever wanna see her face, after I pointed out all the ways she had hurt me. She didn't say anything, she didn't protest, she just cried and said sorry, and then left. I could never forgive her, I wished she'd scream, call me names, but she couldn't even give me that. She just cried and left.

I can hear her breathing, it's deep and slow, I can sense the feelings going through her mind, the blood rushing through her veins. "I've missed you" I say, cause she isn't saying anything, and I want her to talk.

"James, what do you want? Why are you doing this?"

Is she crying? I heard her voice shake, she's definitely crying. Why is she crying? After all this time.

- Bella, I missed you.

- James I'm not in the mood. Please, just tell me what you have to say, and then please be gone again.

- I'm sorry.

- For what?

- For everything.

There's a long silence. Again. I always loved how silence never got awkward between us. We could just sit and be silent together, and it would be just fine. Her breathing is shaking. I can hear the rain pour from her side.

"Bella I'm tired of hating you."

She laughs. Finally. But I'm not sure I can call that a good thing.

"Bella I wanna forgive you. Bella, I'm dying. I was diagnosed with a stage 4 cancer, and turns out, I don't have anyone to inform, cause somehow I managed to push everyone away, but the thing that still bugs me every night, is that I hate you, is that you betrayed me, is that you hurt me. I am still so hung up on that, that I can't even enjoy the last few days of my life. I can't wish to be alive cause my brain is still busy hating you. And I'm tired of it."

"I'm sorry, James, I am. But like the last time, I have nothing to say, I know nothing will help you understand my side of the story, or why I did what I did. You are arrogant, James, you never stop to see from someone else's perspective, and I can't show you, you won't let me. You never do."

"Bella I'm tired of feeling betrayed. I wanna forgive you. For everything. No more grudge. Bella I'm tired. Bella, I adopted a daughter, I don't know what's gonna happen to her if I die, Bella. I grew to love her so much, and I don't know what to do. Bella I'm scared. But even after all these, the thing that has been the most on my mind is the things you've done to me. Well Bella, I forgive you. I'm done hating you. I have loved you, for many many years, and I still do, and I will love you till the day I die. And I wanna live with the love, and let go of the anger. I'm forgiving you, Bella."

There's a long silence. I'm happy. I hear the rain pour around me. My phone is held against my head, and I can hear her crying, she's not trying to hide it anymore, and something about it is so beautiful. A smile forms on my face. I feel free, light, I haven't felt this much happy in so long. I close my eyes, in happiness. I hear the rain pour down. She is not saying anything, and neither am I. There is a peaceful silence that I never had with anyone else. I love how silence is not awkward with her. I love how I can just hold my phone next to my ear, knowing she's there, silently crying, the rain, and the silence.

I'm finally happy.