All Comments on 'Freshman Flirt Pt. 02: Seeking Happiness'

Interesting where this will go.

Well written and good sex scenes, but the story kind of stalled. The fact that Evie thought he cheated with Mandy and who told her weren’t really reveals. Everybody knew that. Evie leaving and throwing away the directory is the real plot point, and nothing happened along that line.

Interesting developments. Looking forward to part 3 :)

I look forward to the next installment. Thanks for sharing your talent.

Seemed to just spin their wheels during this chapter

whoa, feels like way too large of a timeskip. Hope it works out

Author's Response:

Thanks to all who've commented; that’s greatly appreciated. The anonymous commenters make a good point but my writing may not have been as good as I hoped it may not have been clear. The intent is that series of events in the chapter illustrate to the reader that Barry seeks solace after losing Evie for a reason he doesn't understand until much later (and losing Mandy without a word) and that his romantic life basically goes nowhere for years as a result. As a later event in the chapter illustrates, he finally realizes that he needs to make a change in his life, but the friend with whom he reconnects is married with children. Because of his stance on cheating, he knows he won't be romancing her but hopes they can be friends, thereby setting up the events of the final two chapters.

As for the lost directory (which was accidentally left behind on the top shelf), Mandy makes mention of it in the closing paragraphs of the chapter and Barry thinks he remembers Chloe finding one, but it's been so long he's not sure.

Finally, I found an error in Part 3 so that’s been corrected and the document resubmitted, but publication may be delayed a bit as a result since the original submittal had to be taken out of the pipeline. I hope it will publish as soon as possible and apologize for the delay.

speed story.....go back and rewrite it....or write what happened in the 20 years.......can't rate it now because of this.

Fabulous as always, I do really enjoy your stories.

Can't wait for the next part.

The story lost impetus with that time-leap. The milieu and the characters were so vividly depicted in Pt.1. This installment seems to drift -- perhaps unavoidably so, since we're following a drifting MC. And if the jump ahead had only 15 years, and if Barry was still in his early thirties, the tone wouldn't feel so downbeat. There would still be time to reverse the damage. But now as a middle-aged man, with his friends and lost loves moving on without him, we are reading a portrayal of a blighted life.

Great lead up, and so well written. Looking forward to more.

Hmmm... We've wandered rather far afield, but it seems we may be turning and heading for home, so I'll stick around for the next chapter. Interesting main character, even though he is a bit stiff.