All Comments on 'Friday Night At The Alhanbra'

I got two stories from authors I read.

This entertained but not a lot of new ground. Why was never covered. I like the conflict stories much better.

This could have been enlivened if the ex husband brought a civil suit against Ms. Moneybags in the near future. Not that he deserves a dime, but it would have been some conflict.

Thanks for the offering.

The last paragraph made this story. Otherwise it was kind of matter of fact, eh. Caring about a person, loving them, strangely does not end when you find out that they are a piece of shit. That horrible state of being tied to a turd by - love, and not being able to cut that tie - is terrible.

... I like it for its straight ahead writing style, believable plot line and conclusion. The story moves along quickly from point to point without repeating dialog or action. This is my kind of story. The good guys got a win, but no slaughter and the "B's" were burn. All of this was done in 3 pages. I enjoyed the read. Thank you from the Panther fan.

this sucked so much !!!!

As @FD45 says: "Today is a happy day in LW"!!! A good story from JPB...3*

If one enjoys this genre as much as I do , then you will come to the conclusion (at least I have) that JPB is the master ! sure their have been a few writers who are in the mix, but at conclusion, they didn't have the staying power of Bob. Not all of JPB's stories are to my personal taste, but even those are thought provoking in their own right. Papatoad,and HDK are both crown princes , but on sheer volume of work JPB carries the title of King !

For best singular stories then qhml1 , Rehnquist , Oshaw, dtiversion and a few others have created singular masterpeices ( or more than that ) but the overwhelming collection of JPB's library of work has no equal !

I certainly wish him well and that his creative juices keep flowing onto our screens so that we may enjoy the the fruits of his literary orchard ! Thanks Bob.

You must have had several stories saved up, and I have been enjoying your recent contributions. As far as this little tale, I have only two comments:

I have long thought that hooking up with the "other guy's" wife after or during a divorce action was silly. I have thought descriptions of these type of revenge/ rebound trysts were less likely in real life. That said, what stands out here was that even though he got to tag Norma for awhile, it did NOT turn into happily-ever-after. So yes, I appreciated that detail.

One weakness of this format style, is leaving Vykki (very unique spelling-cool!) as a minor to non-entity character. We don't learn anything about or from her. Norma's story is told in more complete detail than Vykki's. This is a story about the destruction of a marriage (well, actually TWO marriages), but adequate background on our narrator's own marriage is conspicuously absent. The result is a lack of balance. You instinctively make up for this with Norma, but more character development of Vykki would have been better. If comparisons and contrasts were to be made, and they are describing Norma to VYKKI, then we needed to get more of her side, somehow before the story was over.

But no matter, this entry ("just another cheating wife story") did exactly what it was supposed to do. Entertain, and remind us why we all seem to count JPB as one of LW's best guilty pleasures.

Thanks Again!

We like most of your stories as you are no 1 in writing stories in this catagory. Please keep them coming . Another good one.

Nothing interesting here. Nothing erotic, nothing not in the "formula." Quantity does not equal quality. Writing a billion bad stories and a dozen good ones just makes the good ones hard to find. A badly sub-par effort.

This story is paint-by-numbers formulaic and not erotic.

Formula, virtually similar dialogue, stories about self-righteous assholes - that's JPB.

His knowledge of family law is trapped somewhere between 1950 and the divorced losers' fantasy world.

Write about sex and feelings, Bob - you're good at that. You suck at BTB.

How could you write this boneheaded bullshit??..

You wrote: (The police must have bought our story because she was only charged with discharging a firearm within the city limits...)

If the police bought the story of her defending herself against an attack by a full grown man with a BASEBALL BAT, why would she be charged with ANYTHING??? The ONLY way that would happen is if the guy had POLITICAL connections in a DEMOCRAT administration, which this guy doesn't have, so you must have you're head buried in your ass.

the classic wife screws up plot. And JPB is one of the best. I agree with "Anon - Thanks Bob" that Vykki's character could have been developed more. All we really knew about her is their house belonged to her solely, and she worked outside the home. More could have been given.

Saw about 3 grammar problems, but didn't copy them down.

Wife screws up. Whether it turns out RAAC or BTB, I like them and not the cuckold husband dribble.

5 *'s as usual.

Just what I like in a loving wife tale! Idiotic wife thinks she can have her cake and eat it too. Gets caught red-handed. Doesn't know as much about divorce as she thinks. Gets screwed by her own doing nothing. I was surprised at the end when he said that he was sorry to lose her. Maybe some more background on Vykki's side of the story and reasons for her cheating would have been fun, but this was a good read just as it sits. Not everyone's cup of tea, but then no story posted in loving wives these days makes everybody happy. In fact, a lot of us "Anon's" seem to be unhappy with everything. Oh well. Eat shit and die Bonnie/Vastie. Thanks Bob.

for the way it oughta be, lieu of the way it is.

*****

I like the fact that he was dancing with his own wife , punched, kicked then she saw the pictures and worked him over more. Classic . Thanks BOB. 5 *

You and your POS Llama. 380 crap guns. Thursday night special dud machine.

I agree that the last few lines summed up my feelings about the situation. Why, oh why? I thought we were happy....

It really hurt. I'm a Ravens fan. We've got nineteen players on injured reserve. Only two starters on offense are still playing. I thought the Sea Hawks coach and R. Sherman were just a little too excited about winning yesterday. Most people around here are either Steelers or Ravens fans, but the antagonism isn't mean or angry, not like the anger felt about 'Ole Cheatin Brady'. I mean the guy is good; why did he feel he had to cheat to win? We're not fans of Denver either. Most of us locals have tended to see Elway as some kind of egoist. Of course, though few of us like the Red Skins, old Doug Williams took some of the swagger out of John once. And oh yeah, about Denver; well we'll always have Jacoby Jones and that great catch! Ha ha.

The story was OK, nothing new, nothing particularly original, pretty much boilerplate JPB, 'I got her off eleven times while I got off seven times myself'; the Wilt Chamberlain syndrome. Also we never got to meet Vykki; there might have been a story there.

But there weren't any happy cuckolds, no 'oh good I get to slurp up somebody else's semen', or ain't my wife's bull just the biggest and blackest, can't wait to slurp up some more of that stinky smegma. I love when he eats asparagus!

Keep writing JPB, but leave out the football; it's kind of painful right now.

P.S. Flacco. He might not be the best, but for years we'd get the ball on the twenty and it was like the goal line was a million miles away; you know hand it off, five yards at a time. We used to watch and hope they'd punt it away so we'd get to see our defense some more. Then one Sunday playing the Vikings Flacco showed up and the goal line got really close. It was like Unitas all over again. My wife got me a Derek Mason jersey. I got her an Ed Reed.

Keep writing Bob.

Jedd Clampett

Read like JPB sat down and dashed it off in one sitting.

the sex was not erotic...2*

"..I guessing that she will is going to find out.." Sheeeesh '

Two stories from a master in the last two weeks but both seemed to just limp over the line. The characters weren't enough to drive it forward because we've read about them so many times before. Yes, they are well formed and Bob has a way of making them real however no twist, no excitement. 3*

There were no new elements in the story. The only details which strayed from normal was the cheating husband showing a few brain cells (not too many though) and the wife showing less than normal.

HOWEVER, that being said, when I read the first paragraph, I was hooked! That is a perfect lead in to a story. He was here for trouble and he expected to go to jail. It beats the fucking leaves blowing, or 'I met her at a party' etc.

Bob has a concussive, streamlined style which I really appreciate. Sometimes it is a bit too bare bones, particularly on the emotions, or in this case the motives. But a good lead in paragraph with a verbal hook, BAM!

All the money he had paid toward the mortgage wouldn't have been returned after all, he was living in the house. Probably would have deducted what rent would have cost him, then repaid him any overage. Jim going to prison was overkill in the revenge department.

You have written a lot of good stories. This is one of them. I was entertained for a while. Thanks.

So it seems that the whole world is a critic ! I guess if chocolate chip cookies were just invented, then 5/8 ths of the commentators on this site would rail against them ! Oh how dare one be so presumptive to actually enjoy a tried and true formula for a LW story ! Oh the humanity !

I for one, do not endeavor to become an author. My grammar isn't the King's English. 95% of the actual readers of this site and category do not. We do not twist at our chains when the wrong punctuation or the wrong linking verb is used ! We do not care as much if an idea is totally original, very few actually are in the grand scheme ! What we poor, uneducated masses want is simple entertainment ! Look around you , my oh so superior commentators , what do you see ? Is it Trinity lane at Cambridge? Or maybe the ivy covered walls of Harvard common ? No, its the comments site of an erotic porn site ! Damn, so sorry to interrupt your Walter Middy daydream !

JPB has a style, and it sure does seem that a helluva lot of readers sure do enjoy it, I know I certainly do. So please go on back to your lofty perch's , and allow us common folk to simply enjoy what we like ! I for one will take some chocolate chip cookies over Crème Brulee any time !

P.S. Cavori , WTF ????

Your stories are entertaining I like them. Thanks for sharing my friend.

The bottom line here is the cheaters lost out in the end. No real revenge or consequences, but two slimy cheaters bit the dust. Good tale.

I can accept that animals fuck because they have the opportunity, that's their nature. But a married person, especially a woman, fucks to compensate for something lacking in the marriage. Its always interesting to read how an author imagines and explains the reasoning behind the actions. But maybe that's just me. JPB seldom delves into the "why" of cheating, so most of his stories leave me feeling that I don't really know the whole story, the real story.

Why on earth would Vykki claim to still love her husband, to want to stay married, to think that she could explain and atone for her incredibly cruel, prolonged, and enthusiastic cheating? I would find it interesting to read that story. But I must turn to other authors for that depth of human investigation and analysis. I always wonder how any man could be married to such a shallow souless selfish woman and not see her true nature before they even got to the wedding ceremony, much less staying blind for some time during the marriage. Just reinforces my observation that if you overlook the smoke until you feel the flames, its too late to bother putting out the fire. Just let it burn and start over. But accept responsibility for ignoring the smoke and the smell until its too late to save things. Vykki claims she wanted to talk things over after she was caught. He should have forced that confrontation as soon as he sensed there was a problem in their relationship. His ignoring the smoke and smell of the fire she was starting begs the question, what else was this husband overlooking, or ignoring? Not a question JPB likes to write about. So be it.

Thanks for your time and effort.

To continue your cookie metaphor.

I love chocolate chip cookies. I love finding a store in a little country town that has little packets hand wrapped in plastic made by some old nanna who lives down the road. They will be sitting in a box next to the cash register with a little cardboard sign telling you the price. I'll buy them every time because they are made with love and care probably from a recipe handed down through the family. They aren't all perfectly round and some have more chocolate than others or something far out like ginger and it makes them even more enjoyable.

If you buy the packets from the supermarket every cookie is the same. They are mass produced to be completely uniform and are guaranteed to taste exactly the same as the last packet you bought. Comforting for the masses but me, I like the adventure and surprise of jumping into the unknown.

Sometimes the homemade cookies might not be fantastic but at least I don't know before I start exactly how they are going to taste.

Personally I find it hard to dismissively try to categorize a JPB story. He has written SO many stories and from such a variety of styles, that it seems ridiculous to call this another 'JPB BTB' story.

The cheating wife in this case had no physical injury, minimal personal embarrassment, and seemingly fair financial treatment. But I guess that for some readers any LW story that isn't RAAC and ends in divorce is automatically BTB.

I actually enjoyed the limited development of the cheating wife's character. I find it hard not to scan through the usual high school sweetheart or met her in college stuff especially when it doesn't have any bearing on the decision to cheat. And I admire the betrayed husband's decision not to meet with his ex and hear her reasons. What possible legitimate reason could she give for cheating anyway? It's always the same confused nonsense that self-deluded cheaters spout to rationalize their selfish behavior to themselves.

I'm aware of the argument that the confrontation is necessary for 'closure', but always wondered for whose closure? The injured spouse has zero reason to believe ANYTHING good or bad that the betrayer says.

And it's hard to see how this is formula, he does have some hot sex with the divorcee but doesn't exactly drive off into the sunset in his blacked out mustang with her. Instead he seems emotionally damaged, saddened and wistful for what his life could have been like if his ex had not decided to destroy their marriage with her infidelity.

Unfortunately that seems a lot like nitty, gritty REAL life, something that JPB seems good at relating. But the RAAC folks probably don't like real life very much either, as it rarely fits their fantasy that marriages can survive this level of betrayal & disrespect.

Please keep writing JPB, with your broad range I can't promise that I'll enjoy every story as much as this one, but I do promise to read them.

5 stars.

It was a good read and it had an ending. Maybe could have had some details but I don't have a problem with not knowing the reason she cheated. Thanks for writing and sharing. Not sure I need to say it but please continue your writing and I do appreciate your effort.

Well plotted, and truthful.

A good straight forward win for the good folks, thank heavens Bob is back! I was starting to think that the cuck loving fairies were saturating LW forever.

"I told the cops to make sure that they handled the baseball bat carefully as it was evidence."

<b>Yes, because the police wouldn't have known that.</b>

"The police must have bought our story because she was only charged with discharging a firearm within the city limits and then released on her own recognizance."

<b>Charged? For defending herself? I don't thinks so!</b>

"The other not so good thing was that the DA was running for reelection and wouldn't drop the charges against Norma. We figured that it was because his opponent could try to use it against him saying he was soft on crime."

<b>And he uses a misdemeanour like this? Really?</b>

Some folks found certain aspects of the story hard to believe apparently. Since every author has the privilege of writing their story any way they want, I usually only comment about liking or disliking their story. A good story teller can take any liberties they wish so long as their story holds my interest and leaves me thinking I wouldn't mind reading it again.

Having said that I can also say that I wish Bob had written a portion of this story from Vykki's perspective so we could know what the motivation to cheat was. The story is good Bob. Thank you for sharing. I have enjoyed your work for many years.

If anyone would like to respond to my comments you may contact me at jbunch34@yahoo.com.

In what state can you get charged with discharging a firearm in self-defense ? I want to make sure l never move there.

You actually finished this one completely. Congrats Bob, I'll still always look forward to your stories, even if you do often leave me hanging.

Why did Vicky cheat? Why did she want to keep a husband she scorned and disrespected? How did the affair start? What made Vicky think it was OK to commit adultery? Would Vicky allow her husband to fuck around with other women as payback? Did any of Vicky's friends know, the ones she was supposedly meeting with?

The story has good mechanics and structure, but the content is mostly logistics of getting proof and going through the divorce process. Thin gruel when compelling questions are left not just unanswered but ignored. Oh, she's just going to say the same of bullshit cheaters always say, so why should we go there. Well, since you're the author, maybe you could summon up enough wit and imagination to make Vicky's thinking and actions worth exploring and understanding. Kind of like exploring the motive for a murder? Yeah, that's just too much work.

TGIF and the weekender is over on Mon, TK U MLJ LV NV

Monday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday Night Football oh yea! Oh, the divorce was best for aall concerned especially the two cheaters.

I'm not sure He and Norma got what they deserved since what they got was cheating spouses. Norma is going to be fine because she'll get her money and have her choice of men. He will maybe get his 30k and have to start over from scratch. Not a good outcome for him. Another good story Bob.

...when the cheating wife says, "But I don't want a divorce!" They never wanted it enough to keep their knees together! Good story.

Running 60% for the good ones. Only.problem is.that the bad ones are awful. Just.have to live with it if you're a fan.

Many of the stories on this site never give the wives explanation - however lame - if this ever happened to me I would want to know why. The outcome would probably be the same but not knowing why the person you loved did what they did would haunt me. Then telling the person who was professing their love how much they had hurt you and seeing them crumble would give some sense of satisfaction for the hurt you were feeling.

I always think that a marriage can't be that strong when someone cheats so finding out what you had or hadn't done might make your next relationship stronger.

What was that garbage about giving the DA ammunition if he was seen keeping company with Norma.It was nearly as crap as her coming home and saying she had met someone.

I doubt very much JPB does any research for his stories. He pulls stuff out of his ass and hopes it works. Nothing worse than an uneducated, ignorant writer....and that's JPB to a T.

And this is a good one. Thoroughly entertaining.

Great outcome.

The ending sucks. Not because of failed rebound but because the hubby becomes a jerk. Of course old geezer BTB is salivating.

While I haven't got a problem with Bobby divorcing Vykki I thought he was a bit of a coward in not confronting her before the Monday when she was served the papers. Really a kind of scummy thing to do especially having a weekend of sex with her before the Monday. All round not a nice guy which probably explains why Vykki cheated on him in the first place.

If it has a mortgage on it,her parents can't give her the house,it isn't their's.

I don’t see a reason for Vicki not to stay together.

" but I never did hear from her after that"

If they liked each other, how come they didn't stay friends and keep contact?

Good story. Well-written. Thanks.

Ed

From the anon 8 months before this.

"I thought he was a bit of a coward in not confronting her before the Monday when she was served the papers. Really a kind of scummy thing to do especially having a weekend of sex with her before the Monday. All round not a nice guy which probably explains why Vykki cheated on him in the first place."

WTF? Hah? Seriously. He's married to her faithfully for 11 years...shes carried on at least one long term affair (more than likely more than one) and in the video he has she takes the time to further disrespect him even more. He gets the video from his own bedroom where she is betraying him in his own bed!

And you think he owes her anything? He owes her a confrontation? He owes it to her to let her explain? He owes her the respect of not taking off a few last pieces before he serves her? Nah...he doesn't owe her shit.

And the fact that you think he owes this character any sort of respect speaks way more about you than the author or the character.

You are either a woman who has cheated and feels justified in it and got dumped in a similar fashion...or you are a weak ass man who let's women treat him with contempt and disrespect.

Either way you are wrong. The scummy one was the slut who was cheating.

Re: nitpic

As usual you don't know what you are talking about. Ever hear of a Quit Claim Deed? In this case title to the house would be transferred to Vykki, but they don't affect the existing mortgage, it gets notarize and filed. So either they (Vykki and her husband) would make the payments without getting any other benefits (tax credits, credit reports, etc.) Those would all go to her parents. The other choice in this case would be to take out their own mortgage for what ever the agreed upon amount was to in effect "give her the house." The matter of trust enters into a Quit Claim since it doesn't change the existing mortage, guess what happens if Vykki and/ or her husband quit paying? Whom ever holds the mortgage is going to come knocking on mommy and daddy's door. Signed: BTW

Do readers think all these stories are real life docu-dramas? It's fiction people. That means nothing is real and facts and figures don't matter. Nice story Bob.

I enjoyed this one. 5 stars. It was pretty much cut & cried from the start. I can absolutely see the wife not getting an attorney & believing she stopped everything by not signing. It’s less stupid than her believing she’d never get caught.

Bill S.

Finished one finally and a real man for a husband. Way to go bob

Finished and mostly good, just not great!

The DA was going to push the discharging a firearm in the city by a woman who was being charged at by her bat wielding husband. I don't think that will fly even if it is an election year.

Enjoyed the tale, thanks Bob.

somewhere east of Omaha