Friday Night At The Alhanbra

"That was my plan also. Of course I was hoping that it would be a huge surprise for her, but surprise isn't likely now."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to ruin it for you."

"You didn't. I ruined it myself by going after your husband on Friday night. Even if your hubby doesn't call her he will let her know that I'm onto her when they get together to talk when they get to work on Monday. The important thing is that it will be over with except for the court shit and I can start getting on with my life."

"Can we get together Monday evening? I'll buy you that dinner I promised and we can have a drink or two to celebrate."

"I won't know until late tomorrow if I can. I'll be busy moving out of the house as soon as Vykki goes to work. The house is hers. It was given to her by her parents when they retired and moved to Arizona."

"I'll hold it open. Give me a call if you can't make it."

Even though the house was in Vykki's name it was still going to be fought over in the divorce. When her parent's gave her the house it still had a mortgage on it and Vykki assumed the mortgage. It might be in her name, but it was my paychecks that made up half of the mortgage payments. I intended to try and get some of that money back and Sam had told me that I had a better than average chance of making it happen. When Vykki got home from shopping she fixed dinner and after eating we sat on the couch and watched TV until bedtime. Once in bed Vykki snuggled up to me for what was going to be the last time.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

In the morning I kissed Vykki goodbye and she told me that she would probably beat me home from work and have dinner ready when I got home. She naturally assumed that I would be going to work, but she was wrong. I'd taken the day off and I planned on being moved out of the house by the time Vykki got home from work. I hit a local restaurant for some breakfast and to give Vykki time to leave for work. After eating I went to the house, made sure that Vykki was gone and then I went inside, called my brother and then started to pack my things.

My brother Tom showed up thirty minutes after I'd called him and by one we had everything of mine out of the house and stored in Tom's garage. It would sit there until I could find a place to live. Tom and his wife Pat were going to let me stay in one of their spare bedrooms until I could find a place. I'd called Sam and he told me that the plan was to serve Vykki and Norma's husband at two-thirty.

On a whim I called Norma and asked if she would like some company while waiting for the phone calls we expected to receive after our spouses were served and she told me to come on over. I got to her place a little after two and as we sat at her kitchen table and sipped iced tea we talked about what we thought would happen when the two cheaters were served. I predicted that Vykki would call me and tell me that I was blowing things all out of proportion and that we needed to sit down and talk.

"Are you going to" Norma asked.

"No. All Vykki will do is lie to me and tell me all the usual shit cheaters spout when they are caught. It isn't what I think, she loves only me, and we can get by it and all the other bullshit in the cheater's handbook. She has been lying to me ever since she started up with your husband and maybe even with other lovers before him. I won't believe a word she says so why should I waste my time talking to her?"

"That pretty much sums up what I expect to hear from Jim. Can we talk about something other than those two shitheads?"

"Of course we can. How about those Broncos?"

I tossed that out as a joke, but she surprised me when she said, "It all depends on how Manning plays. He has been a bit erratic these last two seasons. And so far this year he seems interception prone. If he can get his shit together the donkeys could go all the way."

I was impressed. She had summed up my thoughts exactly. [Authors note – at the time of this writing the Broncos were 6-0]. We started talking football and were discussing Denver's defense when my cell phone rang. I saw from the screen that it was from Vykki and I glanced at my watch and saw that it was two thirty-five.

"Show time" I said and put the phone in speaker mode as I took the call.

"Good afternoon. This is Bob."

"What in the fuck is with this divorce shit?"

"It is what one usually does when he finds out that his so called loving wife is a cheating slut."

"Where the hell do you get off calling me a cheating slut?"

"Isn't that what you were doing when you were fucking Jim? And by the way, his wife feels the same way. I say that in case you weren't around when he was served."

"Fucking Jim? Where the hell did you get that sick idea from?"

"From the pictures and video tapes my private detective got for me."

"Pictures? Videos?"

"I do hope that you aren't going to try and tell me that it is all a mistake. That it isn't you in the pictures and video. I might, just might, buy that you have a look alike cousin or something like that, but there isn't any way you can sell me that Jim also has a double and that your double and his double just happened to get together and they are who my PI got the goods on. Face it Vykki; you are busted."

"We will talk about this when we get home tonight."

"No we won't. When you get home you will find that I have moved out. All communication between us from this point on will have to be through my attorney. Goodbye Vykki."

Just as I broke the connection Norma's phone rang and she looked at the screen.

"It's Jim. He never calls me during the day." She laughed and said, "I wonder what the emergency is?"

She took the call and put the phone on speaker. "Hello?"

"It's me. What the hell is this divorce shit?"

Norma said to me, "They must be reading from the same script."

"What?" her hubby asked.

"I was just telling Bob that it sounds like you and your slut girlfriend are reading from the same script. What you said when I answered the phone is almost word for word what she said when she called him."

"Who is this Bob guy?"

"I'm your sluts about to be ex-husband" I said.

"Why are you with my wife?"

Norma answered saying, "We are watching the videos that his private detective got of you and his wife and we have been critiquing your performance. We have pretty much decided that the two of you couldn't make it in the porn industry."

"Oh yeah? She's a lot better in the sack than you are."

"You are so full of shit" I said. "Norma is one hell of a lot better than that slut I was married to."

"And he sure is a hell of a lot better than you ever were at your best" Norma tossed in as we smiled at each other and 'high-fived' and then she said, "And I'll tell you the same thing he told his whore of a wife just a couple of minutes ago. From now on all communication between us will have to go through my attorney. His card should be in the paperwork you were served. I'll let you in the house at six tonight to get your clothes and things and you had best be aware that I will have my pistol in my hand with one in the chamber and the hammer cocked the entire time you are here."

He was silent for a second or two and then he said to me, "You sucker punched me asshole and I'm going to be looking for you to get some payback."

"You won't have to look for me. I'll be sitting on the front porch steps when you show up to get your stuff tonight. Make sure you bring your best game with you. I've got a lot of anger in me and kicking your ass will let a lot of it out."

He never said a word and after thirty seconds or so Norma decided that he had ended the call and she flipped her phone closed.

"Are you really going to be sitting on the steps waiting for him?"

"I said I'd be there and I wouldn't want him to think I'm a liar or that I'm afraid of him."

"I'll have dinner ready just in case you work up an appetite."

"I have a couple of apartments that I want to check out this afternoon, but I'll be back by five in case he decides to come early."

"I have plenty of room here. You could move in with me."

"I appreciate the offer, but it wouldn't look right."

"I'm only offering you a room; not a room with privileges."

"It still wouldn't look right and I won't give the slut anything that she can try to use against me. I've got her cold and I don't want to give her any wiggle room."

"The offer is open in case you change your mind."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I didn't think much of the apartments that I looked at and by ten to five I was back at Norma's. There was a front porch swing and Norma brought out a tray with a pitcher of iced tea and a plate of cookies. We sat on the swing and talked about our situation.

"What are you going to do about your about to be ex" Norma asked.

"Just what I've already done. Move out and start the divorce."

"No revenge of any kind?"

"No. Can't see any sense in it. I do something to her, she gets back at me and then I have to escalate things and the she also ramps things up. It would be a waste of time and when you get right down to it you have care about someone to put any effort into it and quite frankly I don't care enough about Vykki to want to spend any time on her."

At twenty to six a car pulled into the drive, parked and her husband got out. He looked at us sitting on the swing and he went around to the back of the car, opened the trunk, took out a baseball bat and started toward the porch. When he got close he said, with a big grin on his face, "I did what you told me. I brought my best game" and he pointed the bat at me.

I was looking around for something to grab up to use as an equalizer when I heard a loud BANG and saw her husband fall to the ground. I turned and saw Norma pointing what looked like a miniature Colt .45 at her downed hubby.

"You fucking bitch" he screamed, "You shot me!"

"Indeed I did asshole, but it was only in the leg. You can thank your lucky stars that I'm pretty good with this thing."

She set the gun down next to her on the swing, took out her cell out of her pocket and called 911.

"My husband came after me with a baseball bat and I had to shoot him. He needs an ambulance."

"No. He is on the ground writhing in pain and screaming at me. He can't hurt me."

"Yes, I understand. I'll put it down as soon as the police get here."

"Not unless he comes off the ground and comes at me again. If he does I won't bother trying to wound him again; I'll just empty the clip into his center mass."

She closed the phone and said, "You might want leave before the police get here. No sense dragging you into this."

"No. I'll back you. Run into the house and grab all the material that you got from Sam and bring it out here. The story we will tell the cops is that I was bringing the stuff over to you and I got here just as he headed for you with the bat. I heard him hollering, "Divorce me bitch?! I'll fuck you up before I'll let that happen."

"He will deny it and say we are lying."

"So what? It will still be the two of us against him and the ball bat is next to him and has his fingerprints all over it. We tell the truth about everything else right up until he pulled into the driveway. We tell them about waiting together for his and Vykki's panicky phone calls, what was said and that you told him he could come by at six to pick up his clothes. I left to go and get you the pictures and videos and was going to be back here by six so I'd be handy if he planned on doing something stupid. I got here just after he did and saw the whole thing."

"You think it will work?"

"As long as we stick to the story it should."

While we talked dipshit rolled around on the ground holding his leg and cursing. Norma went into the house and got the material and when she came back we sat on the swing, listened to hubby whine and waited for the cops. We heard the sirens and a minute later two black and whites pulled up at the curb, four cops got out with guns drawn and pointed our way. They spread out and moved toward the porch and Norma and I raised our hands do they could see we were empty handed. Two of them went to the downed man who was crying:

"She shot me! The bitch shot me!"

By the time the cops had secured the scene an ambulance was there and they hauled the wounded man away. I told the cops to make sure that they handled the baseball bat carefully as it was evidence. Norma and I were separated and taken to the police station and put into separate rooms. A detective came in and I told my story. Three hours later I was released and driven back to Norma's where I picked up my car and headed for Tom's place.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

They kept Norma until around noon the next day. She called me to let me know that she was home. The police must have bought our story because she was only charged with discharging a firearm within the city limits and then released on her own recognizance. We compared what we went through at the station and concluded that we should be alright.

"I'd ask you over for dinner, but under the circumstances I think we should stay away from each other for a while."

I agreed with her but told her that I would call and keep in touch.

At four Norma called me and told me that the story had made the local paper and asked me if I had seen it. I hadn't so I went down to the 7-11 and bought a copy. I wasn't mentioned, but Norma and her Hubby were. The story said that hubby was in the hospital. But not in critical condition and that Norma had been charged, but released on her own recognizance.

That afternoon I received eleven calls on my cell from Vykki and I deleted all eleven of them before deciding to take the twelfth when it came in. I was just a tad brusque when I answered the call.

"What the hell do you want? What part of all communication will be through my attorney did you not understand?"

"I need to talk with you Bobby. I need you to hear me out. I need to explain to you what happened and how it happened. I need to show you that I love you and don't want to be apart from you."

"That's what you need Vykki, but what I need is to get rid of your lying cheating ass. This is the last call I'm taking from you."

"I'm going to fight the divorce Bobby. I'll get a shark for a lawyer and fight you every step of the way. I've talked to friends who have gone through divorces and I've learned what I can do."

"You haven't learned shit Vykki. You can't stop a divorce. You can delay it, slow it down, make it expensive, but you can't stop it as long as I don't knuckle under. You can't force me to take you back. You can't force me to live with you. All you can do Vykki is cost us both a lot of money in attorney's fees and court costs. If you want to pay your attorney a couple years of attorney's fees then go ahead. Eventually, regardless of what you do I will be granted a divorce."

I paused as if I'd had a thought and then said, "Maybe you fighting the divorce will work for me. I can tell my attorney to just stop the divorce. I don't really need it because I have no plans on ever getting married again so I have no crying need to be single. I'll save money on the deal. I won't have a big legal bill and there will be no court ordered alimony and the court won't get involved with dividing our assets. Yeah! The more I think about it the more I like the idea.

Go ahead Vykki. Fight it and I'll pull it. Yeah. That will work for me. Who knows; someday you might meet some guy and want to get married and then you'll be the one who wants a divorce. You will have to pay an attorney and all the court costs and if I don't fight it I won't have to pay out a dime. Then again maybe I'll decide to fight it so I can keep you and your new love from getting married. So there you have it Vykki. Your choice. Sign the papers and send them in and it will all be over in a few months. Fight it and I'll do what I've just outlined. One thing that both choices have in common is that as far as you are concerned I'm gone and I'm not coming back. Goodbye Vykki" and I hung up on her.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Several things happened over the next month. Some good and some not so good. Vykki didn't sign the papers and send them in, but she didn't get an attorney and fight the divorce either. Sam thinks that she thinks that if she doesn't sign the papers and return them that the divorce can't go on and that by doing it that way she doesn't have to pay an attorney.

"She is wrong of course, but it isn't to our benefit to make her aware of that. We have proof of service and her non-response means that things will continue on."

"Norma's husband was charged with felony menacing and on the strength of that Norma was able to get a restraining order against him. All of the above was the good news part. The not so good part was that Jim got a lawyer and was fighting her divorce. She couldn't lose given all the evidence she had against him, but he could stall things and make it costly for her. The other not so good thing was that the DA was running for reelection and wouldn't drop the charges against Norma. We figured that it was because his opponent could try to use it against him saying he was soft on crime.

At the divorce hearing Vykki didn't show up (probably still thinking that if she did not participate nothing could happen) and the judge granted my petition. I left the court room knowing that in one hundred and twenty days I would be a free man. I had dinner with Norma that evening and she again offered me a room.

"You don't have to worry about how it will look anymore since your divorce has been granted."

"That might be true in my case, but not in yours. You can't afford to give Jim anything he can use against you."

"I don't care. Sam tells me that the divorce is a slam dunk because of the adultery and the ball bat thing."

"Maybe the divorce is a slam dunk, but part of the divorce is the division of assets and my living here might cloud that issue for you."

"That doesn't matter. The most he can get is half of the house and part of our checking and savings. I've only got a year to go until I come into my trust. I'll be all right so I don't care about any of that."

"But I do. I probably shouldn't say it now, but over the last couple of months I've developed feelings for you and I don't want to do anything that might make your road harder."

"Why would you say that? That you probably shouldn't say that?"

"Because I want to spend time with you and I can't."

"Why not? Did you ever stop to think that maybe your feelings might be reciprocated?"

"That isn't the point. I have to stay away from you for your own good."

"I just told you that I don't care about what the asshole does where the divorce is concerned. I have an ironclad pre-nup that spells out just what the asshole is entitled to."

"That is only part of it Norma. We can't give the DA or your husband anything that they can use in their court cases. I'm probably going to have to testify in both trials and I have to minimize what they can use against me. I can probably get away with seeing you once a week for dinner and say it is just the two of us keeping each other abreast of what is going on in our divorces since it was our spouses that caused the divorce action. And I'm not even totally sure that once a week is wise. There needs to be a distance between us until the court cases are over with."

She sat there and looked at me for several seconds and then said, "Why does life have to suck?"

I knew just what she was feeling.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Over the next two months I did take Norma out to dinner once a week. It hurt like hell not being able to take things where I really wanted to go, but I forced myself to keep my distance. Over the same period I was getting three or four calls a week from Vykki begging me to talk to her and pleading with me to come home. I just hung up on her without saying a word.