by Tyzmartar
like the asshole he is. gave you a 5 for content and effort
Ok, maybe not enough sex, sex, and more sex for some. But what a great story!
I really enjoyed this storyline and that it was complete. I agree with you about the aggravation of dealing out stories by chapter as if those are a deck of cards. It takes longer to complete a complete project but getting those posted are very satisfying.
Dammed great a bit lacking in description but well worth reading. It was long but I liked that. I can't wait for more stories from you. 5 stars ss
Talk about a fucking magnum opus! Just cut the bullshit and get to the sex parts!
After all the usual smut I've read I really didn't expect to find a thought out and well told story like this one. Bravo on that. The sex scenes were good, and had some variety to them, not the usual "I pounded her with my hard cock till she cummed" that I'm used to (Yes I know that word is spelled wrong, it was for effect). In fact, the only complaint, if any, that I could make is that you could have included more sex. However, more sex using the same characters could have gotten repetitious, and including more characters in the sex would could have ruined the plot. So all in all, awesome. You rock, keep writing!
Yep ~~ been a reading this here story for awhile here tonight and this morning and could not put it down to save my life.!!*** One of the longest stories I have read in awhile and I gave this a "5" because I really enjoyed the read and not just the sex part.^^
Thank you for such a good read.! Enough said.
Story kept my interest at a high level throughout. When I first noticed 14 pages were involved I debated whether or not to continue. glad I did.
I loved how they all 3 lived together and I'd be ever so happy if you made a part 2 I loved it so much I'm sad its over
As most all the other comments, you did a great job creating a story based upon 'relationships' first and appropriate sexy parts too. In addition, hit home in many respects for me since my sister and I had a 'special' relationship too. We did not 'meet' until I was 17 and she was 16 (14 months difference) - full blood brother/sister ...she was adopted out to another family when she was two months old. This created an especially close bond, and eventually taken to another level a few years later. Look forward to reading other stories of yours. Thanks.
Wonderful read loved it ! There was just the right amount of drama and peril . It flowed nicely and was very enjoyable . 5 ***** ' s
Thanks for a great read !
tx cracker
loved the story... really loved it... one criticism. the ended of jorge was a bit anti climatic. big build up and then....
So good that the sex was more of an afterthought for me.
A most impressive tale for sure. Great character development and dialog, believable characters, a true love story with hot sex thrown in for good measure. Congratulations.
Very talented author, great story.moreand more and more please.if you sold your work you would be richer than Jackie Collins
The only thing that would have made this story better would have been Carrie kicking Jorge's ass from here to eternally and getting a big reward.
One thing didn't ring true.
Tina was so adamant about staying away from drugs, whether it was the cocaine, or even her wariness at becoming addicted to her pain meds, yet when Chris brought home a totally unknown drug, with only vague assurances from Hank that it was OK, she said nothing against Chris taking it. That didn't fit her character whatsoever. She should have told him to get rid of it. They were already having hot sex and didn't need any artificial enhancement.
It was also hypocritical of Chris and Carrie for them to be OK with him taking an illegal and illicit street drug, as well. His stating a few misgivings wasn't enough. It might have been a different story if it was a known and legal drug, such as Viagra or Cialis, but it wasn't. They always warn in ED drug advertising that if an erection lasts more than four hours you need to see a doctor. If that would have happened to Chris (or any other adverse side-effects), he would have been screwed when the doctors would have asked him what he took so they could counteract it. He even might have ended up dead.
That whole mystery drug scenario didn't fit within the context of the rest of the story.
Honestly one of the best stories I have ever read. Absolutely Fantastic! Loved every minute of it. I just wish Chris would've beat the life out of Luke!
I really loved the plot and the details you used to make this into such a wonderful story.
Thank you for sharing - worth all 5 * and more...
RecHiker
I just loved the story and how brother and sister get it on.I would love to suck Chris .With a ten inch cock.Well my sister and I live together .plus my lover too.One day she caught me sucking off a black guy in our garage.She came in the garage and I was on my knees.And the black guy had his cock in my mouth.My sister said what the fuck are you guys doing .I said what does it look like.She said that your sucking his cock.I said I m..So I stood up and said are you going to say anything about what I did.She said no.She said that she wants to watch.I said you want to watch me sucking his cock.She said ya .I said when Im doing it .If you want to .You can join me.She said really .I said If you want .So I started sucking his covk again.and she got down next to me and we both started licking his cock.When he started cumming I swallow all his cum.Then I said tomorrow he's going to fuck me.She said I want to join you guys.I said alright .So me and her started sucking And fucking black guys .And we both been having sex with each other.We love each other more than anything.We both been together for fifteen years already.We sleep together and do everything else together..Couldn't be happier!!!!
This is the first lengthy story i have read that just screams of reality, fiction or not i just couldnt stop reading this. Great story line and every single aspect of it fell into line great. More stories like this one would be fantastic. Keep up the good work. Is there a part 2 coming??? Sure hope there is.
I was just looking for something fun to masturbate to. Your story was so good that I just started reading it purely for the story. Looking forward to more of your work.
Hey this story is pure perfection I was originally looking for a story to cum to but ended up enjoying it for a story. I love how a brother and sister fall in love and then add another women to their group. Another great part is when they get married but end up all still being together and fucking all the time. Can u make a part 2 for this? Or can u make another story around the same or similar story line but change some events and names etc. I gave this 5 STARS!!!
Loved this story and the three main characters. If this were a screenplay I would watch the movie even as an "R" rated flick. Good back story and sexy build up to the brother/sister consummation. Addition of the girlfriend topped it off and got me off.
I know real life has this stuff, but I don't like the two constructs: damaged/raped sister and damaged/beaten/abused girlfriend. Chris is a loving guy and the ending is good, just struggled to read through the constructs.
I was really looking for a story to cum to... Then I realised this was too good to just jerk off, wipe off, and close the tab. :D so I opened another tab, jerked off to some porn, then got a clear mind and finished the story :D if I were a producer I'd make a movie out of this :'D
You could have doubled the length and it wouldn't have been long enough. I look forward to more of your work!
It had me hooked and was a fun read. I thought the ending could've been a bit more first person than a narration, but it was still good.
5/5
You should have used a fixed PoV instead of changing around, the actual climatic moments were very anti-climatic (Chris and Carrie first time, they and Tina, Jorge death), like you just shrugged and did it as quick as possible.
Jorge PoV was unecessary and it would have been a better use of time if you had just hinted him and kept it as a surprise for when he appeared.
You also should focus more on showing and not telling, I lost the count of times that you simply stopped the story to tell us what the characters were feeling or doing, instead of just letting us readers see it.
Not all of us are as action oriented, the varying first POV added a great depth of dimension to the story. I think as a literary tool it was wielded with effectiveness and restraint. The lavish attention to internal dialog makes it a romance not just a romp.
The ending is just fine. The story could have gone on a bit more, and prolonged our enjoyment, but it was neatly wrapped up and 14 chapters is a lot of writing. We'll be eagerly looking for your future stories. THANKS for sharing your imagination with us.
I really enjoyed it. Just about perfect. Neatly wrapped up. I wish you carried it a bit further, but hey, this is one of the best I've read so far. Hats off to you. Hopefully, we can expect more like this particular one from you, Cheers.
I truly enjoyed the story & was sorry it had to end. It was a good blend of pain & pleasure, fear & remorse, redemption & love. I think I would have liked another chapter or two, but all stories have a beginning, middle & ending and this had the almost perfect ending. Thanks for the great effort. Last words: More, More!!!
This story was meant to be written by a good author. It has everything...including good sex. The author is able to move from violence to recovery of the women. Develop an involved drug story from nothing and resolve it with the brother/police. He brings them all home to a wonderful home in the country where all three of them may live in love and peace. s is a classic!
What a great story. Loved every word of it, had to read it all the way through without a break.
It was just so good...... 5 star ++++
Did it in one sitting. Believable characters and charmingly written.
The bit about Carrie having "... a can of the real deal, too. Not the stuff that you can get over the counter; it was the stuff that would melt your eyeballs." LOL!
Thanks for sharing! 5* Slainté
Great story! No cheating wife. No bullshit. Just a great love story. ( ok, sue me). I felt good at the end. Thank you so much.
I am really loving your stories. The erotica’s nice—actually sweet—but the love is so endearing. It’s exactly what I want in a tale of Roman e and intrigue.
I really enjoyed this story and although 14 (Literotica) pages, it didn't seem all that long. The characters were well fleshed out and you established their personalities early in the story to make them appealing to the reader. The pacing of the story was steady but stepped up when needed and humour was utilised maturely when the scene allowed which made for a more engaging tale.
The only criticism I have, which I've noticed in a few of your stories, is that you seem to want to wrap up the ending as quick as you can. Sometimes that isn't a bad thing but in this case especially I think it was detrimental to the story as a whole. The last "chapter" could have delved more into the events that you only summarised, especially the trauma of killing a man and how the trio dealt with it. Bringing up the feeling of the ending with the "gifts" and finally the realisation that they were to start their family could have been elaborated on as well, with them embarking on their fresh start and their unwritten chapters to come.
All in all though, I think you're a really good writer and I loved this story. Keep it up.
Loved every word of it, brought an old man almost to tears a couple of times!
Looking forward to reading more of you writing! Thank You!
Read this for the 5th time now and still loving it, wondering if there will maybe be a sequel or a prequel one day?
Just finished reading the story for like the 3rd time now still wishing for a sequel thou.
That is the best story I have ever read on here. Thank you so much for sharing it. I really hope there will be a sequel to this. I would love to read about how their new life evolves.
That story is by far the best thing I have ever read on here Thank you for sharing it I truly hope that there will be a sequel I would really enjoy reading about how their new life turns out
Great balance of drama, dialog, and sex. Even though it is in the incest catagory it didn't dwell on the fact just enough to make it arousing. For me your characters came to life. Again fantastic story and thanks for sharing.
The way You put the story together was sheer perfection. Everything intermingled, and while there was sex, it wasn't overdone. You blended their personal lives well, adapting everyone in there lives (co-workers, sadistic boyfriend, hired assassin) in such a way, that it enhanced the story. Never stop writing, for You are one of the very few, on this site, that does it well!
A bit gratuitous to have another story with the damaged girl having been raped. It's a bit of a downer. Please cut out the use of rape as a cheap plot device.
great plot. plenty of room for more chapters. please continue.
An excellent story! Rare to find- a truly well written story with some sex included instead of a sex story with a barely noticeable plot propping it up. I hope you continue to write here, I’ll be watching for your stories
(11/21/2021) This was an enjoyable read. It was a well-written, well-rounded sexy story. The only critique I have is I would have preferred more interaction between Carrie and Tina and maybe a bit more romping with a bit more detail. But that’s only my preference and doesn’t take anything away from the deserved score of 5 stars. I take exception to the anon comment of a year ago. Rape unfortunately is a fact of life. The violence of rape has been around in many shapes and forms beyond the beginning of written history. It happens, we should read about it. To complain that the use of rape as a plot is gratuitous; is gratuitous in itself.
Dealing with the bitch Tina, Luke and his gangbangers so long and unnecessary!!
That was absolutely amazing!!! Took a couple days to read on my spare time and was worth every moment!! The story, characters and writing were well more than I expected. Thank you soo much!
Okay this one is probably going to be my personal favorite of all of your stories. Definitely 5/5.
I read a comment from the author in another one of his stories other than this one where he stated that he writes about what his imagination has come up with and that becomes his end point because he runs out of ideas for continuing beyond that.
Using this one as an example of what could have been if I had been able to collaborate with him when he was still producing stories, I would have suggested that he have Carrie end up pregnant next as a one off miracle. She has healed up enough for her to have one baby, but complications will cause her to have to deliver cesarean. The damage caused by the switchblade attack will result in her requiring a hysterectomy to save her life after the child is born. Tina will eventually give Chris four more children in addition to the one that he has with Carrie. And then they all live long happy lives together. ❤ Chris, his two wives and six children.
Okay, I made my first comment a few minutes ago while I was still having an adrenaline rush from reading a sister/brother/wife lover's triangle that was pushing my buttons in a most excellent fashion. 😅
But then I started reading some of the criticism in comments made over the years and I found that there were two negative comments that I absolutely had to agree with 100%. They expressed very valid issues with the story as follows:
(1) - over 6 years ago, "BostonSmoker" wrote; I know real life has this stuff, but I don't like the two constructs: damaged/raped sister and damaged/beaten/abused girlfriend. Chris is a loving guy and the ending is good, just struggled to read through the constructs. [I agree 👍 both of his lovers didn’t have to come from damaged backgrounds].
(2) - over 6 years ago, "Dark_Storm" wrote; Good story, but...One thing didn't ring true. Tina was so adamant about staying away from drugs, whether it was the cocaine, or even her wariness at becoming addicted to her pain meds, yet when Chris brought home a totally unknown drug, with only vague assurances from Hank that it was OK, she said nothing against Chris taking it. That didn't fit her character whatsoever. She should have told him to get rid of it. [👍 Another extremely accurate observation 👏 👌 I'm a male version of Tina when it comes to illegal narcotics. The fastest way to get me to skip to the end of your story, vote it down with a one, and leave a scathing comment is to write your main characters smoking pot or doing some other illegal drugs without having anything bad happen to them as a consequence. I did read one story where the guy was doing drugs behind the girlfriend's back and she broke up with him until he goes straight. It was a good story about love, redemption, and forgiveness so I gave it a 5. But most if not all of the rest of the stories where drugs were involved ended up getting ones from me. TO DARK STORM: Thanks for reminding me about something that I overlooked.]
There were maybe one or two other criticisms that I agreed were valid, but I didn't mention them here since this comment is very lengthy now. It is still a 5/5 story even so.
Very nice! Thank you very much. My two pennies I'd like to add since a lot is already said in the comments below:
First penny, you talk about the lovers fucking, but refer to this Luke guy as 'sleeping' with a hooker? Made me thinking...
Second penny, I just couldn't wrap my head around the scene where brother and sister were eating pizza from paper plates Chris got from the kitchen. Really? At their own home...? What kind of cultur is that?
Wish I had your talent though. ;-)
What you have here is a really nice feel-good story - Albeit basically nine pages crammed into fourteen - Love the total lack of vulgarity . . . .