Frustration

We spent the next hour discussing whether it was in his wife's nature to act like we would. Yes it was. Then we talked about how she could have found out. My planning had been very careful so I couldn't see how. We parted. Carl resolving to sound his wife out. There was no more talk of motel trysts.

Dave was a little late that night and didn't get there till after my mother. Mum came round every Wednesday for dinner and a chat. Dinner went comfortably as normal with Dave seeming like his old self. I could rely on Dave's discretion I knew. Or maybe not. After dinner, mum started on one of her pet nags.

"When are you two going to give me some grandkids?"

I was just about to launch into one of my standard responses, when,

"Sorry ma, not going to happen now, you see I caught Sue screwing her boss."

My jaw hit the table just in ahead of mums. Just when I thought I knew my husband, he reveals hidden depths. Luckily I recovered first.

'Dave! How could you tease my mother like that? You didn't catch me doing anything like that. Go away until you are ready to act like a civilised human being."

Dave went upstairs.

"Mum, sorry about that. I don't know what came over him. I assure you he didn't catch me doing anything. All these years and suddenly he discovers a sense of humour."

Mum looked at me with a strange expression. She knew Dave. She knew how open and honest he was. I tried to quickly change the topic of conversation while trying not to make it obvious I was doing it. I can't remember where I got to but Dave suddenly re-entered the room holding several pieces of paper which he showed to mum.

"I did ma. See, he even put his thing in her bottom."

What the fuck. Photographs! I broke. I also knew I went cherry red.

"Get out of here you bastard!"

I collapsed sobbing on the table. I can't remember what mum said, but it was delivered at some volume. I think I picked up the words slut, lying, disappointed, make it up to Dave. Honestly, I think my inner self just blotted out this attack. It knew, with everything else going on, I just couldn't handle it. Finally mum calmed down and just stared at me until she had my attention back.

"Why? Look around you Sue. You have a nice job, a nice car, a nice house and until now a husband that doted on you. Why did you throw him away like that?"

"I didn't throw him away mum. We're just having a tiff that's all. He knows he will never get anyone like me ever again. He wouldn't dare leave me over this."

"If you say so Sue. But I know men and I know your Dave. I tell you girl, he's gone. So answer the bloody question. Why?"

I just couldn't accept her theory that I no longer had control over my married destiny. She had to be wrong. But I had to suppress that right now. I had a decision to make. Did I tell my own mother further lies or did I test drive the truth on her. My self-confidence had been so shattered in the last three days that I opted for the truth.

"Well mum, I originally slept with my boss six weeks ago to snaffle a promotion. I know Dave will never amount to much so I knew it was up to me. Yes we have a nice house and stuff but we only have about $50,000 in the bank. Children cost money. After I started I kind of got hooked on it. That reminds me, the promotion is supposed to be announced this week. When I get it, it will be worth an extra $40,000 a year."

Even I realised how shallow the truth sounded, so I stopped at this point.

"What do you mean Dave won't amount to much. He got that promotion to Foreman, what, four or five weeks ago. He took me out to celebrate. That was the night you were called back to work one night..."

The look of incredulity on my face must have got through to her.

"You didn't know did you?"

All I could do was shake my head.

"Well, if you were wondering how long Dave has known about your cheating, I would say at least four to five weeks. Wouldn't you."

I sat there stunned as my mother got up and left. There was no sign of Dave so I went to bed and cried myself to sleep.

I was a wreck the next day. I got two phone calls from my sisters who in one way or another told me what they thought of me. I went home to an empty house. When Dave hadn't appeared by dinner time I rang his cell but got no answer. I knew Carl's wife was due back that day so I had a real bad feeling. I rang Carl and asked him how his wife was. He told me that she was overdue. He'd expected her by dinner but she wasn't there yet and wasn't answering her cell either. Oh shit. Dave crawled into bed at about midnight. I asked him where he'd been and he said he'd been out trying to make some new friends. Even in my self-absorption, my heart went out to him. I should have been all the friend he needed. I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I still had no idea what to say.

The next day, at work, I got a call from one of our mutual friends, Julie. She wanted to know if the rumours she'd heard were true. I pretended to not know what she was talking about. She didn't push it. This got me wondering about the vulnerability of my friendships. All my acquaintances were also Dave's. I knew he enjoyed a special status with them. While he was never the life and soul of the party of course, he was popular. Our friendship group rallied around and almost protected him, sensing his deep vulnerability. Sure, if they needed a kidney, they wouldn't ask Dave. But then they wouldn't have to would they? If they needed a kidney, then Dave would be lining up outside the clinic doors before they even opened. Now I thought about it, if push came to shove, I had no idea whose side most of our friends would take. I took the rare step of ringing Dave at work.

"Dave, have you told any of our friends about me?"

"I might have Sue."

"How could you do that to me Dave? I'm your wife."

"Why shouldn't I have Sue?"

"Well if you go around saying I slept around on you our friends may think I'm an adulterous slut."

"Didn't you want them to think you're one of those adulteree slut things?"

"No of course I fucking didn't."

"Then why did you fuck your boss?"

FUCK! Could things get any worse? My mother and sisters weren't taking my calls, I was in danger of losing all my friends and my husband was behaving like an absolute dick. I still couldn't believe that mum was right and my marriage was over. Things weren't that desperate yet. I was musing all this when the receptionist came around announcing that there was a senior staff meeting in 10 minutes.

Yes, you guessed it. It was to announce the promotion of Pamela. I waited for all the ruckus to die down then with steam coming out of my ears went to Carl's office and closed the door.

"What the fuck Carl? That promotion was mine, I earned it."

Carl squirmed in his seat.

"Sue, you were the front runner for the last three months. But when they pressed me this morning, I, er, I had to say Pamela. I'm very sorry Sue."

"Why did you have to give that bitch the job?"

"Well, my wife got back last night and she was almost normal. Except she kept looking at me kinda funny. If I had to guess I'd say she's heard whispers but doesn't have enough to confront me. I thought if I promoted you it may sort of confirm those rumours. The best way of throwing her off the scent was to give the job to Pamela. Don't worry Sue. There'll be another vacancy within two years."

Fighting the urge to jump the desk and throttle the smug prick, I just said through gritted teeth, "In two years' time I will be off having babies." Then I walked out. No one commented on me leaving early. Misinterpreting it as being devastated about being passed over.

At home there was a message from Dave to say he wouldn't be home till late. That was a relief. I desperately needed some time to think. I got a corkscrew and opened a bottle of thinking aid. Then I tried to arrange my problems in order of magnitude. The conclusion was simple. Fix my marriage and regain friends and family. If Dave forgave me, then my friends and family would also. I hope.

I was fortunate in that I didn't think Dave has listened to any of my excuses to date. But I still had no idea what he actually knew. But now I had a source to help me with that. If I could find where he had those photos, there might be a PI report or something. Now, he'd come down the stairs with those photos. All there was up there was our bedroom, walk-in robe and bathroom. I headed up the stairs happy that I had a plan. I started on Dave's side of the closet. Nothing. Nothing under the bed or in his bedside cabinet. Surely he wasn't cheeky enough to hide them on my side of the closet. But he was. In fact, the folder of photos was inside a small suitcase, inside a bigger one. Right under my stash of secret lingerie. Very cute Dave. No, not Dave. That was impossible. Outrage struck me. 'She' had been in MY house. But who was 'she'? Dave was home about an hour before me usually. Is that when they talked? The only woman who had been here when I got home was my sister about two weeks ago.....

It was very uncomfortable looking at the photos. A full color reminder and rubbing in of my disloyalty. All the photos were from one session, but which one. All motel rooms look the same. I tried to get a clue from the depicted action. All the things they showed Carl doing to me and me to him, we'd been doing since the third Monday meeting. So that narrowed it down to the last three Mondays and one Saturday. My money was on the last meeting though. What had triggered Dave revealing he knew my secret? My proposing sex. All of a sudden, my three week abstinence came back to bite me. Why not? Everything else had. Funny, there was no PI report or any other clue how I'd been discovered.

The action of putting the photos back in the envelope then taking them down to the fireplace to burn them triggered a thought. Something about her choice of hiding spot tugged at my perception. Why was it so significant? It hit me half way down the stairs hard enough that I stopped. It was a deliberate, calculated act. A declaration of war.

Within the minutes it took to burn the photos I returned to thinking who could have tipped Dave off and caused him to hire a PI. Or was it someone else who had hired a PI and given him copies of the photos. That could only mean Carl's wife. That spurred another idea. If Dave had hired a PI then there had to be a money trail. I hit the filing cabinet but the latest statement was two months old. There was a week old credit card bill though. No big items on that. I logged onto our bank's website and downloaded a current statement. I started looking about six weeks ago. The statement just showed daily spending and our salaries going in with the balance steadily increasing. I did notice that as of four weeks ago Dave's pay jumped over $1,000 a fortnight. Wow, that was quite a promotion. Yet he had chosen not to celebrate it with me.

Through my tears I kept looking for any unusual withdrawals. Nothing. Until the last page when the balance dropped from $58,000 to $5,000 last Saturday, with the simple words, 'Transferred to XXXX'. What the fuck?

In an absolute daze I logged off and sat at the kitchen table. There was no question in my mind why Dave had cleaned out our account. The big question was, what was I going to do about it? I never went back a step further and asked myself, 'Do I want to do something about it'. There was never a question in my mind that I wanted to win Dave back. I loved him. He was my life partner. He was going to be the father of my children and the grandfather of my grandchildren. He was the rock I'd anchored my life to.

I spent the rest of the time till Dave came home polishing my story. It was good. Flexible enough that it could adapt to how little or how much he knew. It had its roots in the, 'I was seduced by a master at a vulnerable time', story but had evolved impressively since then. The plan was, explain away my behaviour then hit him with a full court press of attractive womanhood. Make him realise what he would be missing out on. In short, seduce him back. I got stuck on one point. He was obviously being influenced by, 'His friend'. Who was she? How good was she? What were her motivations? Maybe I needed a PI. These musings were interrupted by Dave coming home. I got up and gave him a huge hug which he half-heartedly returned.

"Congratulations on your promotion darling. I forgive you for not telling me. I can see how my behaviour turned you against me."

"Thank you Sue. How did you go with yours? I know you........worked very hard for it?"

This guy just had a way of scuttling my plans, and with such naïve effort. How did he know about the promotion?

"Oh, I missed out. They gave it to Pamela."

"Was she fucking the boss as well?"

With a mighty effort I ignored his veiled insult.

"Just sit down while I make you a cup of coffee. Tell me how your night was while I do it."

"Julie rang me and asked me out. I went out with her, Stan, Jenny and Mick. It was good."

"Did you talk about me?"

"Yes, they wanted to know all about it, so I told them. I didn't really want to but they insisted. They are our friends after all."

"Where did those photos come from darling?"

"Ah, my friend gave them to me."

"Is this a new friend sweetie?"

"Yes."

"Is she a friend from work?"

"No."

"Well, just so you know, I found them tonight and burnt them."

"Dave's eyebrows lifted."

"I burnt them so they won't get in the way of you forgiving me Dave."

"I guess the place you found them means you also were planning to go out tonight?"

Fighting the urge to shout, with every fibre of my being, I formulated my answer. He'd just presented me with an opportunity to do a little probing.

"No, I told you. That will never happen again. To be truthful, I don't know why I went back for a second time. He's small and frankly not that good with it. Not like my big hunk."

I reached over and stroked Dave's leg.

"Then why....."

"I know, I know, why did I fuck him? I'll tell you later lover. But first I have some more questions. Dave, where's the money? I went and checked out our account. There's over $50,000 missing."

"Yes I know. I put it in another account."

"But why Dave. What are you going to do?"

"I've already done it. My friend said that when we get divorced, even though you cheated, you get half the money. That just doesn't seem to be right. She suggested I put the money somewhere safe for when I leave. I went to see a lawyer and he said it was illegal but if I went overseas for seven years there was nothing you could do about it. Something about a statchoot of limitations or something. I've got a job in Vietnam. I leave on the 31st."

Normally I would have found his mispronunciation of 'statute' kind of cute. Not today.

"Bu...but that's only five days from now. If you go, and take all the money, I'll have nothing."

"You'll still have your boss."

"BUT I DON'T WANT MY BOSS!"

"Then what did you fuck him for then?"

God! This was like arguing with a very persistent, single minded child.

As rattled as I was, I knew I had to think quickly. Five days, including the weekend. That would be enough time, just, to get a court injunction to at least save the money. But did I want to devote all my time and energy doing that when I just wanted my husband back. No I didn't. If I spend the energy keeping him away from his advisor, this 'friend' of his, then I'm sure I can bring him back into line.

"Dave, you keep asking why I, er, had sex with my boss, Carl, and I feel I owe you an explanation. You see, about seven weeks ago I was feeling low and Carl was always trying......"

I'm sorry Sue. I'm really tired. Can we do this some other time?"

"When Dave? This is really important. If I don't tell you why it happened, then you can't forgive me. If you don't forgive me then we won't have a future. If we don't have a future, then I won't get to have your babies."

I hadn't planned on using my ace right now. I'd intended to use it when things got really desperate. Too late now though. It was out.

"You want to have my babies?"

"Yes darling. I love you, all of you and no one but you. I want to grow old with you, nurse you when you're sick. Stand next to you, holding your hand, when our children are baptised. Sit in the church with you when they get married. Get buried next to you. Yes David, I want to have your babies."

Finally I could see that I'd got through to him. The emotions flickered across his eyes. I stifled a smile of triumph and waited for him to respond. A tingle went through my groin in anticipation of the make-up sex to come.

"Then why did you fuck your boss?"

AAAARRRRGGGHH! This broken fucking record was getting fucking, unbelievably frustrating. By the time I'd got my blood pressure under control, Dave was in bed. Not making the same mistake as last time, I very quickly brushed my teeth and joined him.

"When will you listen to me Dave, tomorrow?"

"No, not tomorrow. We have that market you wanted to go to tomorrow morning. The party at Julie and Stan's place tomorrow night, then church on Sunday morning. How about Sunday afternoon? I really would like to know why Sue."

Was it possible to get more confused? He had just described the weekend of a married couple. Not one of someone about to terminally abandon his spouse. That could only mean, YES. I'd got through to him with my words before. He'd just needed time to process them and had asked me his dumb, standard question out of reflex. We were on the road to recovery. I had the best night's sleep I'd got all week.

The next day, I got up early and made him a lovely breakfast. He didn't turn away when I kissed him after delivering it to him. He held my hand as we walked through the market. I knew he hated these things.

At the outdoor party on Saturday night, I'd swear nobody knew we were even struggling. I kept my arms round him most of the evening. I did notice groups of whispering 'friends' trying to cut him out and get him alone but I wasn't letting go. There were a few new girls there that I didn't recognise. I watched how he interacted with them to see if there were any clues that one of them was his new friend. Nothing.

We were both extremely mellow when we got home. Dave even had the taxi stop at a corner shop on the way home and went in and bought some things. What they were came as the biggest, most pleasant surprise later on. I was feeling so good that in bed later I reached over and grabbed his cock. To my absolute surprise, he didn't reject me. Taking full advantage of this development I spoiled him rotten. I gave him a long, sensuous blowjob that had him squirming and groaning. Finally I let him discharge in my mouth but kept right on going until he was hard again. There was one uncomfortable moment when he reached for the new pack of condoms when I went to mount him, noting with optimism that it was a pack of 12. The rest of the night, until we were both exhausted, I concentrated on his pleasure to the point that I didn't have a single orgasm. Far from being frustrated, I found it very liberating. So this is how he felt when he made love to me.

We slept late and had to sprint for church. Neither Dave nor I went into the confessional. I didn't want to let him out of my sight for a second. When he suggested a picnic lunch by the river, I snapped him up on the offer. We chatted about his new job, the state of the world, everything. Except our relationship. He didn't raise it and neither did I. Why ruin a good thing. Sunday night was a movie as we snuggled on the couch and a re-run of our lovemaking of the previous night.

Monday I decided to get myself tested. It was all going well but every time Dave reached for the rubbers it was like a knife being driven into my ribs. I made the appointment. My intent was to get the results in writing and leave them somewhere Dave would see them.