All Comments on 'Fulfilling Mom's Needs'

I have to confess that I am a grammar nazi. It drives me crazy to read a story with run-on sentences, incorrect punctuation and spelling errors. I truly admire the bravery it took to write and publish a story but you really need to get an editor or a proofreader.

Good story, needed editing.

Pretty good, but, please find an editor.

I know, picky,picky, picky. That must be crappy tea if it tastes like coffee. Why would she lock her bedroom door before going to her son's room. Other than that, good first story

i though it was great can't wait for chapter 2

Agree...editing needed badly...couldn't get halfway through the first page...

As others have said, you really need someone to proof read for you. Don't give up though, it's a good story.

A good first story. You should be more descriptive of the characters and their bodies. Also, you should proofread your work. There were lots of typos and other grammatical errors.

Please get an editor xx

Story line was very good. I would suggest that getting a decent editor would enhance the reading of the story.

A cheating whore that betrays her hard-working husband, with their own son, risking the destruction of every single bit of their lives together? No. Make her divorced or a widow, instead this story is suddenly not nearly as disgusting, perhaps even interesting. As is, the son is despicable for cucking his own father, she's a gutter slut that doesn't care what or who she has to destroy to get herself off. Just fucking sad, that the final message is, nothing else matters as long as you're getting off.

Well done, a very good read. Thank you

Available mother. Whatever goes on behind close doors between two consenting adults is erotic.

Sex4lf57, the term "Grammar Nazi" is offensive in this context. When anyone puts their string of abused language out for the public, it is 100% their responsibility to do it correctly. The point of language, whether spoken or written is to communicate. That's why the rules are there. Bad grammar is bad communication. So what then is the point of its so badly written?

Bria, don't get an editor. Get an education.

I'm curious. Which is true? Was this your first story, or can most of your work be found on Smashwords? Being a first story is no excuse for how horribly you wrote this.

First story, great start. Keep writing more. 1 small piece of constructive criticism... proof read your story the day after you write it... but that's it... next I would like to see the son take his mother's ass

Poor language skills which detract / distract from the story. Professional editing would probably help.

Needed more editing before posting.... This had the potential to be 5 stars I took a point for being so short and rushing the story along and I took another for the massive errors in the story where you missed putting in certain words or have the wrong words placed in key points of a sentence.... Its important when you type out a story to proof read it after maybe not right after when the story is finished but take a day off and read through it the next day from the viewpoint of the reader to work out any kinks and errors you find that you missed in the initial typing of the story as well as to further hammer out the plot.... This story makes sense it works but your writing in it doesn't I know what you meant and could do editing in my head quickly while reading but I shouldn't have to that is on you to fix before publishing.... If English isn't your first language than I suggest getting an editor if it is you need to read more and when you do write make sure to catch the errors in typing it up or write it all out by hand and then type it up later..... Good luck awesome first try plenty of room to improve

It's your first story and the actual storyline and content was quite good and could easily lead to more erotic chapters, however you must get someone to help you edit your work and correct the grammatical mistakes, by doing this your work will be easier to read and will not get lost amongst all the dross that is out there!!

The ideas and content are good so you obviously have a good imagination, just get the grammar sorted and with more experience there will be no stopping you!

The story concept was good, but it was marred by too many writing mistakes. I know it has been mentioned enough here in the comments, but you definitely need an editor. Keep that in mind for any future stories you may write.

"It had been 5 years since Peter and I hadn't had sex" implying they had sex continuously for five years. It should be "It had been 5 years since Peter and I last had sex" or "Peter and I haven't had sex in 5 years."

That was just one example of what was wrong with this story.

Great effort, a very readible and plausible erotic story. I suggest that you completely ignore the comments from cageysea9725. Keep on writing erotic stories and remember "Spell check and grammar check", just befor submitting.

@cageysea9725 can you spell TROLL? The story was fine.

Get an editor, waaaaaaaaay too many errors and words left out. 2**

Love it keep writing. You got me off .

Love Sherri.

Bria - thanks for sharing. I'm not that brave. I'm sure that I will have some technical difficulties when I finally do. But rather than pointing out what is wrong, here is a technique I use my public writing: Read your story from back to front. That will help you find missed words; and may help you with the logical progression of the story itself. Finding an editor is hard, but that is something you can do yourself. Self-inspection is worth the effort. Keep writing. Keep imagining, doing, and sharing.

Great story with good characters. I loved it.

As an avid reader of mother/son incest stories, I would like to make the following comments:

(1) I like characters that have breadth and depth.

(2) I like characters who are sensitive to each other's needs.

(3) There should be some chemistry/emotional connection between characters.

(4) Intimacy and passion ae re needed for an incestuous affair to live and prosper.

Having never written anything myself, I offer my suggestions only as an avid reader of mother/son incest stories. Having no problem with mutual, consensual incestuous relationships in real life, Ilike story that could reflect a said relationship.

My 2 cents....

First, I would like to point out, that English, is probably not the author's first language. That being said, I took the liberty to check her biography, something that I have never had the interest in doing.

The fact is... # 1. She is SMOKIN HOT !!! 😚 46 yrs young. BI and with fantastic desires. ANYONE, who wishes to criticize her grammar or punctuation, I would love to laugh at them, because, I would be willing to wager that this woman is a walking wet dream and if she were to pay any interest in you, you wouldn't care WHAT language she was speaking. 🤪

Yes, there were plenty of mistakes One of the funny ones was, she made tea and then drank coffee.

Sensing the type of creativity she wants to express, give her time and I'll bet, she is going to become an erotica sensation.

Loved the story. I write a lot of similar stories, and I'm intrigued how women write about incest. I hope you'll continue to post here.

-Charlie

I loved your story. Just like "NC-Costal", I write a lot of similar mother/son, daughter/daddy stories just for my own enjoyment. I really enjoyed the your stile and the words you use. I hope you'll continue to post more stories here.

very nice story but the spelling and the time lines were all wrong once at the breakfast table her son was naked then she went to her bed room and found her husband jerking off to porn i thought she had just made him lunch and he went to work {omg} your spelling is bad and you were missing words all over your story next time read and reread over to send a proper story

Loved this story please continue with more please! All these bad comments are just crazy I don't care how she spells stuff its still very readable I hope she writes more of this story!!!!!!!!!!!!

love it

demn you writting are marvelous to read... that action between the mother and son is just too amazing, we need more from them!!!

I wrote a comment before Bria your a damn good story teller please continue with more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I used to enjoy spying on mom but she would never allow me to touch her. She never wore a bra around the house so I saw lots of cleavage.

nice!

A good story, but........ Missing words in sentances, one minute Josh is having his morning shower & in the next sentance, mum is horny & alone in the house...... Please proof read before submitting,

Sex between a mother and her young son, is so great and beautiful.

Awesome story you need to continue with more of this.

I truly love mother and son taboo tales, but it seems that most of the writers within this site just don't TRULY have a way with words. Words are EVERYTHING in telling a story, and telling a story that involves that ultimate in deliciously forbidden acts REALLY needs the right words to make the story snap!

If a mother let down all barriers and gave her unbridled self to her son it would change EVERYTHING between them. In my opinion, everything changing between mother and son is what makes an incestuous relationship incredibly intense and extremely erotic.

You have a creative imagination no doubt, but as with most writers within this site you simply don't have a way with words.

My advice is, tease your readers UNMERCIFULLY. Don't jump into sex too fast. Build up and back off just enough to keep the readers wanting more. Furthermore, you need to keep in mind that an incestuous relationship is going to take time 98% of the time. Just the emotions of tasting your mother for the first time in itself would be an OTHERWORLDLY experience.

Add erotic encounters that are not the norm in most taboo stories, and string the encounters along. There are many ways to keep readers interested before son rams his cock up mommy's honey-hole. When written well, just the wind blowing the cotton sheets over mom's body can be devilishly breathtaking. A forbidden relationship is what sets "Forbidden acts" apart form EVERY other relationship. So, writing about a taboo relationship as you would any other relationship isn't going make sparks fly.

Peace ✌

From the time I was 14yrs old; I’d watch my mom play with her pussy. One time she was on FaceTime call with a guy & I came & sat down next to her. As her & I talked she placed my hand right next to her pussy. I couldn’t help it & as I tried to sneak a pull with my fingers lifting her panties, she pulled them to the side. You begged me to finger her pussy; “ Dustin, finger mommy’s pussy & make me cum!” She held the phone so the other person on FaceTime could watch. Tgat was just the beginning… afterwards she sucked my dick until I’d cum in her mouth & took my virginity at 15yrs . I’m 26yrs old now & my mom & I fuck everyday & night! I don’t want anyone else ever! We’ve posted pics & videos of us online & now my younger brother AJ is fucker her pussy too. My mom name’s Angel Farmerie & I love fucking my mom & I’m so glad there’s a place here where I’m not judged. I wish I could submit pics & videos to share. We’ve been together for 13yrs now & more to cum…

Great story!!

I do have a couple of suggestions.

After you finish a story, set it aside for 2 or 3 days. Then go back and read it. You'll find most of your typos and fuzzy logic areas.

Bald pussies look like they belong to a little girl. Personally, I prefer pussies with hair. Trimmed to the crease between the thigh and groin is great, and/or neatly mowed.

The vee formed by her tresses form an arrowhead pointing the way to her fountain of delicious fuck juice.

Years ago, an ex girlfriend introduced me to a beautiful Eurasian Lady, Donna. The ex tok mew aside and told me to take Donna to my house, as her husband was out of town.

The next morning Donna said that in less time than it took me to undress her, her husband would be finished and asleep. When I moved down and ate her pussy, Donna started to CUM, and CUM, for the entire 15 minutes, or so, that I was tongue fucking her. When I let her relax, she fainted for a few minutes. Then she went into another continuous orgasm as I fucked her. Tina came to pick up Donna {with a change of clothes for her} the next morning.

I guess that when Donna told Tina about her FUN night, tina asked her if she had sucked my cock as a thank you for the pussy licking, Donna said she didn't know how, Donna had never had her cunt licked, nor sucked a cock. That afternoon, they both came to my house so Tina could teach Donna how to suck my cock. While Donna was enjoying my cock, Tina was eating her cunt {Tina is Very BI.

Donna and I continued fucking for about 3 years, until her husband was transferred from the West Coast to the East Coast. Once Donna learned what REAL fucking was, she wanted to learn everything.

Very nice story of a mother and son finally giving in to the lust that they have been holding back, you need to continue and have mom throw her worthless husband out and they can continue with there sexual lust for each other!! Gave it 5 stars but would love more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just a note. You're is a contraction of you are. Your indicates possession of.

Nice story though. Women writers are the best!

I would hope if I ever tried to write, I would take the time to proof read the article. This was a good read but the grammar was unacceptable!

I couldn't force myself to read any more of it. The constant run on sentences, grammer errors, typos, etc. Makes it difficult to even want to read the story. "As it good get" = "As it was getting good." You need to stop using so many commas. At one point if you had dropped one comma.....you could have two perfect sentences. The lack of care in writing has given this lots of flaws. If you get hot and bothered as you write it.....get yourself off first and with a clear head go back to write the story. You need a clear level head with nothing distracting you. Sorry but I will not recommend a story like this

For your first story you did exceptionally well. Better than many story tellers here but with this being your second story I can now refer to you as an Author. Your always going to get constructive criticism from Anon's that couldn't write a short story to save their lives! Anoth 5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE FLAMING NOVA STARS!

She said it right : when you’re Two consenting adults who want each other, Nothing else matters .

I guess, currently speaking,you could ask TJ and Amy if that’s true , no ? ...

An awesome story, just needs a little editing, but still an awesome effort

Very nice story although there were a lot of mistakes it was still a good read!! You should continue with it and what about her worthless sexless husband?? 4 stars!!!!!!!!!!!

Agood story with nice buildup until mom and son finally fuck.

HOWEVER, before posting a story, read it over and correct the mistakes you find. Then set it aside for a few days, and read it again.

Very good story keep it up

Very good story keep it up

Excellent Story! I was twenty-four years old and had already moved out when my mom and dad got a divorce. I always had kind of a thing for my mom's body as soon as puberty hit. Seriously, my mom looks just like a hot mom on a TV show that you always wanted to fuck. I always enjoyed seeing her in a bikini or by chance, in the nude. I often could not help thinking of her when I would jackoff. For better or worse, she has my kind of body. Thin, but not overly, nice tits, a 34C, perfectly round, with no noticeable sag. Her reddish/purple areolas of equal size, perfectly round like silver dollars in size. I'm a breast man, and they are perfect for my taste. She also has a great ass, thin, but not overly thin legs. Beautiful brown past her shoulder's hair, a brown triangle bush, trimmed for a bikini, yet still fairly full. but It's always neatly shaved around her opening pussy lips. So, when she came over on a very hot day of nearly a hundred degrees, wearing tight shorts and a bikini top, she already would turn heads, but when she came into my apartment from a hot temperature outside, to one twenty degrees cooler on the d with the air-conditioning, she immediately nipped out more noticeable than I've ever seen before. I had no control of my seven-inch cock immediately getting hard at such an erotic sight.