Full Circle Ch. 01-02: The Break-Up

"But what do you think Geraldo. Did I do the right thing?"

"If you feel it was the right thing, then you did. I feel bad for both of you but I understand."

Geraldo felt his words helped, as did each mile away from Elaine and towards the City and to Rae's support network of friends. She was going to stay with her college friend until she could find a place of her own.

"Elaine said some ugly things to me," Rae said, leaning on his sympathetic ear.

"She can do that," said Geraldo. "You know what kind of woman she is."

They both did. Elaine was driven. That much was clear. And both of them had been with Elaine in the bedroom. Some of Elaine's sexual proclivities could be considered cruel, and it was hard for the Domme to suppress those aggressive urges in everyday relationships.

"Elaine likes to win," said Rae. "She views me leaving as a loss, instead of trying to see my viewpoint that I have to move on in my life. We change. Elaine lost her taste for the City. I haven't. She hasn't come to grips with that. We've never fought like we did tonight. She was . . . she was livid. Mad. Like it was my fault."

"Don't be so hard on her. Look at it in her shoes. She had to grapple with turning fifty and with you leaving."

There was a long pause, as the country road gave way to a four-lane divided highway. Rae pondered what Geraldo said.

"I guess you're right. We both have to be a bit more open-minded about what happened. But for me, I feel like this is the right thing to do."

The car went silent as the sleek limousine sped down the freeway, then ducked down into the Holland Tunnel and to Rae's new life beyond.

Chapter Two

Going Back to New York City

Elaine's knees felt weak as she walked back to her bedroom to get her purse and jacket. Her feet hurt. She had spent the last four hours in her best pair of Christian Louboutin's. The four-inch heels were killer on her calves, and her twice weekly workouts with a trainer didn't prepare her for a full night in uncomfortable shoes. She went into the master bathroom and unceremoniously kicked off her heels. The cool tiles felt wonderful on her aching feet.

Elaine turned on the faucet and let cool water run on her hands before splashing her face. She leaned forward and looked at herself carefully in the mirror that ran the length of the long counter. Time had been kind to her. There were just the faintest of lines forming next to her eyes, most of them held at bay by periodic Botox injections. Her make-up covered the sunspots, though some were peeking through after she'd wiped the tears off her face. Her skin still had a pleasing iridescence.

But time waited for no one, and Rae's moving on was symbolic of Elaine moving on to another phase of her life, selling the New York apartment that she'd owned for twenty years and living full-time in her country estate. Now that she was free of Rae, she could throw her full energies into her beloved horses, perhaps acquiring a few more and becoming more involved in horse rescue organizations. For the first time she felt she could become a woman of leisure.

Elaine stepped into her walk-in closet and scanned the double stacked rack of clothes lining both walls, trying to decide whether she wanted to take anything to the City. She had allocated three days, starting the following morning, to meet with her listing agents to set a final price for her apartment and then to meet with contractors to perform the work necessary to prepare the penthouse unit for sale. Her brokers had already set a range of $12-14 million dollars.

The meeting on Monday morning was to zero in on the exact price based on their review of the most recent comparable sales. Then an endless set of meetings with architects, designers and finally contractors. She wasn't looking forward to those meetings. She didn't have anything business appropriate at her country estate so she decided to just bring the clothes on her back, or in this case not on her back, as her slinky red cocktail dress was essentially backless. She considered the five grand for the dress was well spent and decided to wear it on the trip back and have it dry cleaned in the City and available for use for the parties she'd be attending later that week.

Elaine picked up her favorite pair of sneakers and slipped them on. They were well past their prime, with the front part of the sole starting to separate from the upper, but Elaine thought them suitable for the drive to the City. She went back into the bathroom to pick up her heels and then left the house for the short walk to the garage. Elaine was absent minded to begin with and on that night her brain was addled. The jacket she carefully set aside for the trip back was left forgotten on the dresser.

The temperature dropped considerably since the party's end, and by the time Elaine got to the garage she cursed under her breath at leaving her jacket behind. She was impatient to get on the road (and pissed) and decided to go without, knowing she'd be in the car the entire trip and then arriving at a heated garage underneath her apartment building. Elaine tried to slow her mind down and act with more deliberation, the emotions of the night already affecting her behavior.

She flicked on the lights to the garage, noticing right away the empty space for the Maybach, yet another reminder of Rae's recent and unwanted departure. Another sigh as she began her mourning for the best relationship she'd had in her life. She ran her finger across the hoods of the McLaren and the Porsche, noticing not a speck of dust. Geraldo kept all her vehicles detailed and ready to go.

A faint smile came upon Elaine's face when she got to the Tesla Model S. It was the Plaid edition, meaning it boasted 1,000 horsepower, and being an electric car, it was blindingly fast off the line. She rarely had the time to drive it and welcomed the opportunity to open it up on the empty country roads. Elaine routinely topped 100 mph when driving that car.

The "new car" smell hit Elaine's nose as she slid into the leather seat. Her dress pulled up, leaving her bare legs resting on the toasty warm leather. Elaine made a mental note to thank Geraldo for turning on the seat heaters before he left. She closed the door with a reassuring thud and pressed the symbol on the center panel to open the garage door. As Elaine watched the door open she thought it was symbolic of Rae's departure. When one door shut, another opened. She wondered what door would open for her.

As Elaine pushed the stalk down to engage drive, she suddenly remembered she was supposed to call Victoria, her executive assistant, to discuss the details of her upcoming day. She glanced at the dash as she sped down the long tree-lined driveway. 11:58 p.m. Elaine knew Victoria would be pissed given the lateness of the hour but would forgive her as she always did. She also knew that Vic would be hungry for the details of the party even though Elaine was mentally and physically exhausted. Elaine hit "Vic" on her contact list and steeled herself for her assistant's inquisition.

* * *

"Hey Vic," Elaine said, sounding contrite.

"11:59? Cutting it a bit close Elaine?" Victoria replied, voicing her expected irritation and wondering why Elaine was calling so late.

"I did say I'd call you sometime today," Elaine said sheepishly, knowing that being technically right wasn't meeting the spirit of her promise.

Vic let Elaine's comment pass. She was already over it and eager for details about the party she had to miss because it was also the evening of her niece's 16^th birthday. Elaine had not only forgiven her but encouraged Vic to attend her niece's party instead of Elaine's.

"So how was the party?" Vic asked.

"Great," Elaine answered, giving a one-word answer that was more typical of a teenager.

Victoria sensed something was wrong with Elaine but wasn't sure why. She decided to ease into the conversation with something easy.

"How was the caterer?" Vic asked, already knowing the answer. She'd already heard from some of the other guests about the details of the party.

"You picked a good one Vic. We should use them again," Elaine confirmed. At least Elaine was sounding more like Elaine, Vic thought.

"Weather?"

"Perfect."

Vic asked about who did and didn't show. Most of New York's elite were there, though many of the invitees from Elaine's days as a Domme didn't show up. During the three years that Elaine forsook her old world and her friends, lovers and submissives, many drifted away from her. Vic satiated herself with the details of the party and then decided to address the elephant in the room. She knew things between Elaine and Rae weren't going well and wondered if that was the cause of Elaine's malaise.

"And Rae?"

There was a deafening silence, which answered Vic's question.

"She's gone," Elaine finally said.

More silence. Vic was processing the news and trying to hold back tears but failing. She too was fond of Rae. Everyone liked her. But like Geraldo, Vic had seen Elaine's dark side. Elaine expected everything from everyone. Many failed to meet her exacting standards.

"I'm sorry," Vic finally said, sharing in her friend's pain.

Elaine was already starting to sound more philosophical instead of angry or bitter. "You needn't be. It was going to happen sooner or later," she admitted out loud and to herself for the first time.

Vic resisted saying "I know." She too had seen it coming. The twenty-year difference in their ages was really starting to show. Everyone could see it except of course Elaine and Rae. Until it was too late.

"What are you going to do now?" the assistant asked instead, immediately changing the subject.

Vic could picture Elaine in deep thought. "Sell the apartment. Get on with my life," Elaine said, though there was no spark in her voice.

Vic couldn't leave it there. Elaine meant too much to her and Vic had never heard Elaine sound so low.

"It'll be all right, you'll see," Vic said, trying to sound cheery. They both knew there were going to be dark days.

Vic realized it was time to let Elaine collect her thoughts on her personal life and handle the mundane, which was the purported purpose of the call.

"What's happening tomorrow?" Vic asked.

Elaine resumed a business-like tone to her voice, feeling relief to be done with the difficult part of the conversation.

"You tell me Vic. You're the keeper of the calendar."

Victoria spooled up Elaine's appointment calendar on her iPad.

"Edwards and Clarke at 8 a.m. Better not be late, they agreed to this early start time to accommodate your schedule."

"Yes, yes," Elaine said, sounding impatient. "Those fuckers better be right about the timing of the market. One of the reasons I decided to sell was because there's a shortage of units in the $10-20 million range. It sped up the timetable for Rae's departure and put a real damper on my party."

Elaine had set the meeting time so she could keep her usual 10 a.m. appointment with her masseuse. Her brokers complained to Vic about the early start. Elaine's lead broker lived in New Jersey and said he'd have to get up at 5 a.m. to make the early meeting time and would have to find someone to take his daughter to school because his wife was at a yoga retreat. He had asked Vic to start the meeting at 10 a.m. When Vic told Elaine of the broker's complaint Elaine called him and politely reminded him that his firm stood to make three-quarters of a million as a commission so why didn't he show up at 8 a.m. and shut the fuck up or she was going to give someone else the listing. Her broker readily agreed to the earlier start time. Vic knew that Elaine had to be on time for that meeting, otherwise both of them were going to have to eat a lot of shit.

Vic went on with her summary. "Then, you know, your masseuse Misty at 10 . . ." reading what she'd recorded in her calendar.

There was a slight pause before Vic continued.

"You know Misty sounds like the name of a hooker."

Elaine chuckled. "Thank her mother. She was a big fan of "Play Misty for Me," and you know . . ."

"And then?" Elaine asked.

"Lunch with Julia at her club at noon."

"The one on 92nd?"

As Elaine asked, her Tesla made the turn onto the main road leading to the interstate. It would be about fifteen miles through a heavily wooded area before she reached the freeway. Vic opened another window to access her address book.

"That's it," Vic said.

Julia was another Domme in New York who, like Elaine, was known about town as a wealthy, self-made woman. Elaine and Julia had a falling out years ago over a sub that had left Julia for Elaine. Julia unexpectedly held out an olive branch and invited Elaine to her club for a reconciliation lunch. Elaine didn't know Julia's true agenda, which was to get closer to Elaine and Elaine's money. She and her husband had invested heavily in crypto and lost a fortune, so Julia wanted to find some way to latch onto Elaine's largesse.

Elaine heard an audible sigh from her assistant.

"What?" she asked.

"Julia," Vic said with disdain. "She's bad news."

Elaine knew why, but still wanted to get Vic's opinion, which was usually spot on.

"Because . . ." Elaine said, leaving her comment open-ended.

"Because she's a conniving bitch."

Elaine chuckled. "Now Vic, tell me how you really feel."

"I just don't trust her. She's too good looking. Too slick. I don't fall for her smarmy bullshit."

"Well, if you want to know the truth, I agree with you. Chantal left Julia for me because she couldn't stand her. I didn't steal her. Julia lost her. There's really nothing I need to apologize for."

"Then why are you having lunch with her?"

"You remember that saying, keep your friends close and your enemies closer?"

"Uh huh."

"I'm keeping Julia nice and close. If I can't trust her I have to know what she's up to. Her lunch invitation is telling me she's up to something. I just don't know what it is."

"I see. So I guess the lunch stays on the books."

"Definitely," said Elaine. "And then after my wonderful lunch with my dearest friend?"

"Two architects, a designer and two contractors at half hour intervals starting at 2. I'd have a martini with Julia before you come back to the office," Victoria advised. It would be a grinder of an afternoon with five back-to-back meetings. Vic knew Elaine would be exhausted at the end of the day.

"Two," Elaine said, correcting Vic. Vic suspected Elaine would get drunk during her lunch with Julia and cancel her afternoon appointments.

"That's it?" Elaine asked facetiously.

"I could always set up more meetings," Vic said helpfully.

"No thank you," Elaine said. "You know that cocktail dress you helped me pick out for my party?"

"Sure, the sexy red one."

"Uh huh. Anyway I'm wearing it right now. Arrange to have it taken to the cleaners I use in the City. I may want to wear it Tuesday night to the reception."

It was Victoria's turn to laugh.

"You mean to that reception at the Ritz?" Victoria asked. She was surprised because Elaine never wore anything flashy to a reception put on by the venture capital firm she founded and was selling to the current set of partners.

"I'm suddenly feeling lonely," Elaine confessed.

Vic knew what that meant. She didn't blame Elaine.

"Gonna hook a young admin for the night?"

"Not another young one. Maybe someone more my age . . . "

"Elaine. You're only as old as you feel."

"Right now I feel pretty old," Elaine said, sounding dejected and heartbroken.

"Chin up Elaine. You'll be back in your safe place. I'll take care of you."

Vic wanted to comfort Elaine in her time of need. She'd been a loyal employee for over ten years and Elaine paid her handsomely. Elaine would be the first to admit she wouldn't have achieved her recent success without Victoria's help. Rae's departure was a big blow to Elaine's ego, but Victoria's assurance eased some of the pain.

"I love you Vic," Elaine said, though not often enough.

It did Victoria good to hear Elaine reaffirm where they stood. She still worshipped the ground Elaine stood on.

"I love you too, Elaine."

* * *

Elaine terminated the call with Vic and focused her attention on the long straight road ahead of her. The night was pitch black and dried leaves danced in the wake of the speeding Tesla as Elaine made her way down the familiar pothole filled road, the large tires thumping as she sped along at sixty miles per hour. She was about twenty miles from her place in a stretch of deep woods that always gave Elaine the creeps. Her mind wandered to Rae as she rehashed her assessment of her past and future for the umpteenth time. Elaine was always meticulous with details, as that skill, along with many others, made her the wealthy and successful woman she was, and it was impossible for her to turn off her mind when it came to her personal life.

Elaine looked at the past first. Even though her relationship with Rae ended, was it a positive experience? She answered that question in her mind with a resounding yes. Elaine had never been in love before, and she realized that her active sex life as a Domme before she met Rae was no substitute for a committed loving relationship.

But what of the future? Elaine felt every bit of her fifty years of age. The world was shrinking for her. She'd stopped her appearances on the Power Exchange and party circuit in the City. Twenty years of that jaded her to superficial glamour. She didn't regret her decision to sell the New York apartment and looked forward to spending most of her time on the farm. But was her relationship with Rae a fluke? She wondered if she'd fall back to her old ways as Mistress Elaine. She wondered if she'd eventually die alone.

She couldn't stop her mind from bringing forward an image of Rae. Her eyes started to cloud with tears when her distracted mind returned to the road. She was shocked to see that she was going ninety miles per hour on the straight two-lane road. Elaine lifted her foot off the accelerator and at that moment saw a flash of white in the woods to her left. Out of the forest bounded a doe and her baby, darting across the left lane and into Elaine's. Wide eyed, Elaine reflexively jerked her steering wheel to the left to miss them. She barely missed the baby deer as the deer's back hooves shattered the right front headlight. Her car fishtailed but fortunately she had the presence of mind to turn her steering wheel to counteract the skid. She heard a sickening thud as her right rear wheel went over a small tree stump. She finally brought her car to a stop, her heart pounding in her chest as she eased the wounded vehicle to the right side of the road.

Elaine sat still, letting her heart rate and breathing slow before she unbuckled her seatbelt. A dashboard warning light was flashing, indicating low tire pressure. She opened the car door and the frigid night air rushed in. Elaine quickly shut the door. She reached over to the floor of the passenger side to retrieve her phone. She dialed Vic and noticed the call wasn't connecting.

"Fuck!" she screamed in frustration. The phone showed no bars and no service. She realized her Tesla had no spare and that she had no way of calling the Tesla service number. It was past midnight and her Monday morning meeting was starting in a scant eight hours. Her mind reeled with the details she'd have to attend to immediately, but those required a working phone. She pounded the steering wheel with her fists and cursed again.

Elaine tried to calm down and go through her options, both of which were shitty. She could wait in the car, hoping to flag down a driver. But she hadn't seen anyone since she pulled over and the darkened sky in both directions wasn't comforting. It could be hours before she saw a car, and she'd have to jump out the second she saw a car's headlights to have any chance of flagging it down as it sped by. Then she thought about what she was wearing. A skimpy red cocktail dress. Most drivers wouldn't slow down for her and the ones that did - - well, she didn't want to think about that.