Fumbling in the Bliss

Bliss was not a feeling Nicolo had felt often. He'd been filled with so many things before - joy, rage, grief, embarrassment, guilt - but pure bliss was a relatively new feeling. He woke up feeling as if he were floating in a vast mirror-still sea. Yusuf's arm was around him, his warm chest pressed against his back. They could feel each other's even breaths as they stirred awake. The room they shared was nothing extravagant or fancy but it was special to them since it was the first they shared as a couple. Motes of dust hung in the sunlight around them and Nicolo's heart fluttered as he felt Yusuf shift behind him.

Through the haze of his mid-waking mind Yusuf pressed himself more tightly against his companion. Sleeping tangled and curled together somehow felt so natural that he marveled at the idea that he'd ever slept without the Genoan. A small sound barely left Nicolo's throat as he turned to face Yusuf, huffing at the way the blankets bunched around them from his movements. Both of their eyes were still heavy with sleep and Nicolo's soft hair was sticking out in a few amusing places. A dulcet bout of laughter resonated through Yusuf's chest as he smoothed a few locks back into place and Nicolo put his hand against him so that he could feel his sounds as well as hear them. There was something so comfortable and satisfying about feeling his breaths and words, as if he could understand him better simply by touching him.

"Mmh, good morning." Yusuf's voice was still slightly rough and Nicolo hummed in response, closing his eyes and focusing on the feeling of the other man's voice. Soon he began tracing the lines of Yusuf's chest in an effort to see him without his eyes. Something deep compelled him to memorize the feeling of his smooth skin under his fingertips, to make a map of all the dips and curves of his chest as it rose and fell. A small shiver ran through Yusuf and he pressed a gentle kiss first to Nicolo's forehead then to his cheekbone until finally he kissed him properly on the lips. Both men sometimes marvelled at how the other could be so soft and tender after having been so violent, but it didn't matter then. One of Yusuf's hands went to tangle itself in Nicolo's hair and they pressed closer to each other.

Nervousness shot through Nicolo as the spark in the pit of his stomach ignited into a small flame. They'd been intimate a couple times, but it had always been in the throes of passion. It had been fast and intense and more pleasurable than anything he'd experienced before - like an explosion of sensation that he could never fully remember the exact details of, just the immense feeling. This, however, was different. This moment was slow and exploratory and Nicolo wasn't sure how to proceed. He couldn't deny the heat of arousal that was slowly being stoked by Yusuf's hand running gingerly across his back but he was embarrassed to admit to himself that moving things along felt like a daunting task.

Yusuf was enjoying skating his fingers across Nicolo's shoulder blades and feeling his muscles shift and flex as he moved. He was convinced he'd never tire of innocent touches such as these (and he was right). Nicolo's lips were warm against his, just barely chapped in a way that was incredibly endearing. The way his love's breath caught slightly when his fingers grazed the base of his neck took his attention and he couldn't help smiling against him. This kind of quiet intimacy was new to them and Yusuf couldn't get enough of it. As they pulled away for air, Nicolo buried his face in the crook of Yusuf's neck. The kisses he pressed there made Yusuf melt and it was clear that that morning was going to be a very enjoyable one. His fingers tugged gently at Nicolo's hair and drew a low sound from his lips that bordered on a growl. A ray of tingles bolted through Yusuf but Nicolo paused, the tops of his ears turning red. For a split second he froze.

Yusuf shifted, putting his lips gently to Nicolo's once again. He didn't want to push a boundary that Nicolo wasn't ready to touch yet, so he decided he would let him lead. As their kisses slowly grew more and more passionate Nicolo's face heated with a combination of exhilaration and slight shyness. The man beside him was so beautiful and so unashamed in the brightness of his feelings. A pang of jealousy surrounded by a resounding reverence flooded Nicolo's body and made his fingers itch to feel him, to make sure he was real. Every touch felt like an explosion of sensation across their skin.

Neither was entirely sure how Nicolo ended up on top of Yusuf by the time they pulled away, breathless and glowing with adoration. Yusuf could have sworn an angel sat atop him, his bare chest flexing as his arms went to rest at his sides. They looked upon each other for a blessed moment, simply taking each other in as the light dappled them with gold. Yusuf felt like a feather slowly floating down into a pot of honey. His breaths came in gentle dips and sways as his love shifted slightly, his legs at the sides of his hips. The pressure of the other man resting on him was exhilarating and the air around them vibrated brightly with sensation. Nicolo needed to feel him and so he ran his fingers up Yusuf's sides, his touch as light as the breeze whispering through the leaves.

Yusuf's sudden movement shifted the tone of the moment. Bright laughter filled the quiet room and he twisted under Nicolo, his body tensing as he contracted. Nicolo retreated slightly, instinctively pulling his hands away as if they'd been burned as the atmosphere shifted. He felt as though he'd taken some fatal misstep and his face reddened. Embarrassment knocked him down like a wave and, even more frustratingly, he was embarrassed that he was embarrassed. Yusuf took a moment to recover. Giggles insistently continued to find their way out of his mouth while he sat up to look at his blushing companion. The poor Genoan wore a mortified expression that Yusuf meant to soothe away.

"My sides are ticklish, dear heart." He sported a mirthful smile as he ran his hands through Nicolo's hair. Somehow he flushed a darker shade and Yusuf hummed, his thumb going to his cheekbone. It was a silent request for an explanation and Nicolo bit his lip while his eyes searched Yusuf's face for some sort of escape.

"I feel as though I've broken the moment."

"Laughter and joy are as much a part of love-making as arousal, aren't they?" Nicolo shifted again and looked into his warm, dark eyes. He found only candid pleasure and love there and he couldn't help the sheepish smile from spreading on his face.

"There is no need to be so tense, my love. Whatever this moment holds will be whatever we will have. The most beautiful soul is sitting with me on this bed and making me laugh with jubilation and shiver with passion. That has already exceeded any expectation you may imagine I'd had. If the moment is broken for you then we can move to a new one but, I assure you, it's as intact as it ever was for me." Nicolo didn't have time to think before following the impulse to pull him into a tight embrace.

"How is it that you always know the words to make the thoughts melt from my head?" Another musical laugh drifted out of Yusuf's mouth as he pressed his face into Nicolo's shoulder. Arabic still sounded strange from his mouth but the sing-song cadence and messy consonants were charmingly clumsy. Shyness continued to radiate through Nicolo but the warmth of such earnest love chased the edge away. Yusuf trailed gentle kisses from his collarbone to his chest. The curls of his beard dragged across his skin and he let himself smile slightly at the odd sensation. Yusuf's face lit with a delighted grin and he pressed a final kiss to the spot just above his heart. He could feel Nicolo's heartbeat fluttering under his lips. It was something he wished to feel every moment for the rest of their eternity.

"If you feel uncomfortable you'll tell me, right mæ amù?" Though some of Nicolo's tension had eased Yusuf needed to be able to trust that he felt safe. Feeling like an explorer with no map was no less stressful for him than it was for Nicolo. Profound, warm moments like this were sacred and he would make sure he set about stumbling through learning the other man with care. A deep breath flooded into Nicolo's chest. He hadn't realized how much hearing those words would soothe him, even if he didn't need them to know he was respected. He cradled the back of Yusuf's head in his hands and smiled even as his eyebrows knit together with the beautiful weight of what his consideration meant to him.

"Of course, habib albi. And I hope you'll tell me the same." They held each other's gazes then, suspended in the moment of understanding. It was less than a second but in their minds it felt as if they'd hovered there for an era. Nicolo silently questioned if he'd somehow known this man for his entire life and knew somewhere deep inside that it didn't matter how long he'd known him; the depth of his connection was enough. A vibrant, sweet tension sang through Yusuf's body and he splayed his fingers across his lover's chest so that he could still feel his heartbeat while he pressed more soft kisses just above his navel. A light summer rain had begun to fall outside their closed windows. It was the kind that still let the sun shine through, making the lighting frame the world as if it were a painting they'd somehow stepped into overnight. Nicolo wrapped a finger in one of Yusuf's tightly coiled curls as he rested his head above the waistband of his pyjama trousers. There was a silent request in Yusuf's hesitation and Nicolo hummed in affirmation, electric anticipation coursing through him. Yusuf smiled against Nicolo's skin as he undid the drawstring around his waist. Nicolo was the love in his heart, his moon in the darkness, the stars in his sky - and he wanted to make him glow with pleasure.

Something about the way the fabric slid against his skin made Nicolo shiver. As he moved himself to gain access to the lower parts of Nicolo's body Yusuf had trailed his beautiful hands down to grip at his hips softly. Yusuf's hands were one of the first parts of him that Nicolo fell in love with. They were worn with callouses and had a few scars from before they healed too quickly for wounds to leave a trace. They had the grace of an artist, though, and a delicacy that showed how much he cared. They were steady and sure when he needed them to be and they were always warm when he shivered alone. Those lovely fingertips pressed into his hip bones with just enough pressure to make his breath stutter. In the moment before he became fully exposed it truly dawned on him how long they had been together before they shared this kind of intimacy. How many times had he woken pressed against Yusuf, wishing only to see him - all of him? How many times had Yusuf had the same wish? Somehow they had both agreed to wait until they properly felt ready without discussing it aloud. Gratitude and something deeper swept through him with fervor. It was something inexplicable, older than words.

"I love you, Yusuf." Nicolo almost gasped it out. He didn't have time to properly get a breath because he had to say it as soon as the feeling covered him. Yusuf looked back to him with such enchantment shining in his face that Nicolo could hardly believe he was there.

"I love you too, my beautiful moon." The intensity of what he was feeling made Yusuf's voice waver slightly as he spoke. With a secure, genuine smile he pulled away Nicolo's trousers and threw them to the side. He knew that they were ready to learn each other in this deeper way. Not only did he know that Nicolo felt safe but he knew that he himself felt secure enough with him that he could truly be himself as well. Yusuf had always felt very deeply and sharing his emotions with others was not something he did lightly. He knew that he burned brightly but he also knew that being in that light was something earned, not inherently deserved. Nicolo was there to share in his joy and his sorrow, to celebrate their victories and make up for their failures to each other and to everyone else together. As he finally looked at his lover's fully exposed body with rapture he was able to truly appreciate his beauty because he knew that Nicolo would appreciate his as well. They were diving into the warm waters together, unsure of the exact nature of their journey but with the knowledge that they would be gentle to each other and hold each other up.

He had known that Nicolo was beautiful but now that he was able to truly drink in his form, Yusuf lost track of his breath. He would require a few hours of modeling, that was for certain. For now, though, just looking and touching was more than enough. Shyness still loitered in Nicolo and he flushed a bit from Yusuf's lingering gaze. They shared a mischievous smile, though, when he tugged at his hair with an impatient softness.

"I'm very flattered that you find me attractive enough to stare but the tension may drive me mad." A small huff of a laugh left Yusuf's mouth before he obliged, nipping at his hip playfully. When the pads of Yusuf's fingertips finally made their way to graze against him it felt like the first time he'd been touched. The small bites to his hip evolved to a love mark sucked into his light skin. Though the color Yusuf had painted there quickly faded before his eyes he still felt a satisfaction in the action and the shiver that ran through Nicolo made it all the better.

He had no trouble finding the elegance in every part of Nicolo's body. To Yusuf he was an unparalleled work of art, unlike anything he'd ever seen. The sharp cut of his hip bones felt like they were carved from marble under his lips and the blush of his length under his fingertips was as warm and smooth as heated glass. Their blankets lay bunched and piled on their lower legs and the soft freshness of their bed grounded them quietly as Yusuf explored Nicolo's hardness. The touches were simple - the drag of his finger along the underside, his thumb curved around the sensitive top, his callouses creating delicious friction - but they sent thick waves of static through Nicolo. His muscles tensed with every movement. Their moments of teasing leading up to the intensity of pleasure made him all the more sensitive and Yusuf's every touch felt expert.

Yusuf dragged his mouth across the line of Nicolo's thigh and looked up at him, his lips agonizingly close to his sensitive shaft. His warm breath racing over the newly exposed skin made goosebumps break out across Nicolo's arms. The air was stuck in him; it caught in his throat and he hung on the precipice of a sigh. His lips had parted slightly, his eyes locked on Yusuf with rapt anticipation and honey-sweet want. They both felt as though they were hung suspended in the air in the moment just before you plunge into the warm sea. The look in his eyes told Yusuf all he needed to know and he let the bubble of tension burst as he took Nicolo into his mouth. At first he was almost tentative, letting them both get used to the feeling. The tip sat on his tongue, heavy and satisfying, and his hand wrapped around the base gently. The dam in Nicolo finally breached and breath flooded into his lungs in a gasp. His eyes widened at the sudden sensation and his fingers grasped at the mattress for purchase. Knowing that he could bring this kind of pleasure to his lover made a warm, alluring pride flow through Yusuf. He curled his tongue, experimenting against the soft skin, and Nicolo's head tipped back above him.

The fast, explosive pleasure that Nicolo had experienced before was difficult to compare with this careful intimacy. Now as they took their time Nicolo felt as if all of his body had been made anew. He covered his eyes with the crook of his elbow as Yusuf sucked on him gingerly, a soft whimper floating from his throat. He had never been handled with such tenderness before. Yusuf took more of him into his mouth and let his eyes slip closed as well. He was careful to keep the motions of his tongue slow and languid against him - he wanted the morning to be long. The act of parting his lips and inviting him inside felt as divine as singing a prayer. There was a depth of trust that Yusuf basked in. Nicolo was usually quiet and this rang true in the bedroom as well, but it only made the small huffs and moans that he couldn't hold inside all the more meaningful to Yusuf. The culmination of all his breaths and little sounds became a symphony to him, a reminder of the life and love coursing through them. He let his hand wander from where he held him down to graze his fingers against the sensitive skin of his testicles, running the flat of his tongue over the tip.

All Nicolo's mind could focus on was the sensation of Yusuf's mouth on him - or so he'd thought, until his fingers reminded him of the other parts of his body. He could feel the other man smile around him as his hips twitched up and he cursed in Genoese under his breath. The tightening of his core around the arousal bubbling deep in him made him take deep, sudden breaths. The world had fallen away and all that remained was the two of them, floating in a blissful pool of pleasure. The past was forgotten and the future was left unattended to. Shackles of guilt and shame began to fall away and he truly cried out in pleasure for the first time that morning as Yusuf licked at him in a way that made him feel as though he were on fire with need. He earned a hum in response and the vibrations of Yusuf's low voice sent a thrilling wave of stimulation through his whole body. His leg bent slowly, his foot flat on the mattress, and Yusuf tilted his head to rest it against his thigh. Yusuf wanted nothing other than to be close to Nicolo and to make him feel good. He sucked slightly harder and gripped his hip with the one hand tightly enough to leave fleeting marks on his pale skin.

"Stop please, love," Nicolo's voice was strained with need but it halted Yusuf immediately nonetheless. He retreated and looked at him curiously, his head still against the inside of his thigh. Nicolo finally moved his arm from his eyes and looked down to his lover, resting his hand on the side of his face.

"I'll be spent soon if you continue and, well," he paused, looking to the depth of Yusuf's warm eyes for the glow of love to fight his shyness, "I'd like to finish together." The crinkle at the edges of Yusuf's eyes as he smiled made Nicolo reel with affection. Yusuf kissed his thigh and moved up to lay next to his beloved.

"I'd like nothing more."

If Yusuf was slow and careful because he was fully entranced with Nicolo's responses, Nicolo was slow and cautious because he was nervous. Yusuf's skin was enticingly warm to the touch and Nicolo pressed their foreheads together as he trailed his hand down to return the attention he'd been getting. He let his vision slip out of focus, sight forgotten in favor of touch. Once his hand found his lover's hardness they kissed, a sigh of pleasure on Yusuf's lips, and felt as if they were breathing as one. At first he just let his fingers explore and learn the geography of Yusuf's sensitivity. He ran his thumb over his length from base to tip and traced a prominent vein until Yusuf bit his lip gently. Finally they each brought their fingers to the other's mouth, knowing spit would smooth the drag of skin against skin.

Yusuf was louder as they held each other, finding a complementary rhythm between their hands as they stroked and fondled. He let moans and whines fall from his lips freely and sung praises for Nicolo which made him feel as though he were glowing. They pressed their chests together and tensed and arched together as they each got closer to their climaxes. Soon Nicolo couldn't hold back any longer. Yusuf grazing his thumb against his tip and squeezing ever so slightly as he dragged his hand back was too much after the wet heat of his mouth. The fire burning in him finally boiled over and he cried out as he spilled over Yusuf's hand. All his sensations were momentarily seared with the euphoric intensity of his orgasm and his breath stuttered and broke in his throat. Yusuf peppered his face with small kisses until he returned from the haze of euphoria. It was a beautiful scene to watch and Yusuf's hips twitched. The faces Nicolo made in the height of pleasure and the way his back arched into him, the curve so tantalizingly graceful, stuck in his head and he knew he would draw it later. Something personal for him to keep.