Fun Facts about Fucking

Way back in the middle of the last century, my wife and I would usually spend part of the summer renting a beach house with some friends. I remember this one year when things started out pretty rosy but went to hell when the weather turned into something awful. First it rained buckets. Then the temperatures dropped so much that it felt more like October than July. Most of our house mates wound up heading back to the city rather than slugging it out with the weather. Our friend David was the one exception who decided to stick around and keep us company. It wasn't long until bored as he was, he developed a predilection for checking out my wife Lisa in the bathing suit that she seemed to always be wearing around the house, cold temperatures be damned. This was the notorious one that had previously inspired so many side eyed glances from the other ladies in the house. Cut dangerously high at the crotch, low at the bust and almost a thong in the back, she had a great figure and this thing looked like it was custom made to show off her every curve and nuance.

Frustrated with not being able to get to the beach Lisa took a day off to do some shopping in town. Dave and me stayed behind, sleeping in late to try and defuse the effects of too much alcohol and the endless rounds of poker we were using to kill the time. He came down from his room as I was nursing a cup of coffee and watching highlights from the Tour de France.

I watched him scan around all the rooms in the house and read the disappointment on his face as he realized that Lisa was nowhere to be found.

"Shopping..." I said.

"Was I that obvious?" he replied. His face looking like a kid that just lost their favorite toy.

"Yeah. She'll be back in a few hours. Grab a coffee and join me."

I couldn't blame him. I was always aware of the effect my wife had on men and how she seemed to always inspire cocks to grow and turn hard. Restricted and bored shitless by the weather, I completely understood how much her cute little bum sashaying around the room must have cheered him up.

I lit up a joint and passed it over to him.

He looked surprised. "Really? It's barely past 9am."

"Look, any other day we'd be on NJ Transit, crawling into Penn station and obsessed with the new business pitches that were ahead of us for the week. There'll be plenty of time to get back to that." For now though, with my lungs inflated with a healthy volume of marijuana smoke, I struggled to find the right words.

"... fuck it."

It didn't take much to convince him. He took a deep drag and passed it back to me. On screen, Greg LeMond and Bernard Hinault were going head to head, sweating crystalline bullets on their way up the Pyrenees.

"Looks like you seem to like her new bathing suit... as much as the girls seem to hate it?"

What do kids look like when they're caught with their hands in the cookie jar? That's the expression he had on his face.

I put him at ease. "It's OK. I get it. She looks pretty fucking hot. You've got my blessings to look all you want."

The weed was just starting to kick in with me. I handed him back the joint as I noticed a bulge starting to make its presence known in his sweatpants.

"Let me guess, you're thinking back to what she looked like when she bent over to pick up the laundry last night?"

"Fuck yeah. You have any idea how lucky you are? I get hard every time she walks in the room."

"... and if had to guess, you probably rubbed one out to her. Maybe more than once?"

He started to apologize. "All the other girls are gone. She's the only one left in the house and my god, she's so fucking pretty."

"It's OK. I know what she does to guys. She does it to me too."

No mistaking the bulge in his sweats now. That hard on was pitching a tent in his pants and looked like it was there to stay.

In the last year, the two of us had gotten jobs at the same startup. It was fun but also really hard work and completely consuming of all our time and attention. Months had gone by since we had any time off at all and with the weather as bad as it was, the level of boredom and missed opportunities to have any fun were starting to make us desperate.

"Want to keep me company and rub one out now?" We'd actually done this before. Back when we were pimply faced teenagers and there were no girls to be had. The taboo of what we were doing seemed to be enough to offset the lack of female attention.

He didn't take long to think about it. He pulled off his sweatpants and leaned back on the couch. I think his cock had gotten bigger since the last time I saw it. Back then it was enough to jerk off to pics in some back issues of Playboy we'd managed to find. I watched as his cock, painfully hard and thick was throbbing up and down in time to his heartbeat. I hadn't expected that the sight of him might make me hard as well.

It wasn't long before he was full on jerking off. I reached under to cup his balls. "You OK with this...?"

Fun fact #32. People are more tolerant of pushing their limits when they're aroused. If I'd done this any other time, he might have shoved me away. Maybe delivered a punch to defend his credentials as a straight male. But at this moment, in mid stroke, with a hard cock and throbbing head, me touching him was just an act of mercy.

It did feel a bit odd starting out. Guys generally need something to jerk off to. Softcore Playboys did the trick when we were in our teens. Internet porn was still just a wet dream at DARPA. And with two of us there, it felt weird to close our eyes and fantasize, like we would have if we'd been alone.

Still, watching him manhandle his junk and jerk off without any inhibitions seemed to be more than enough. We got close enough to sit next to each other and started to jerk each other off instead. The slight discontinuity in sensation from rubbing someone else's cock and the sensations of pleasure that were hitting our brains was shocking. The notion of a separate person started to fade. Suddenly his cock, his balls, his entire body felt like they were mine to do whatever I wanted with. As long as it felt good that moronic, fucking notion of gay and straight was no longer an issue.

He hadn't showered yet. The scent of his sweat, salt air and precum wasn't all bad. Actually, all these years later I still have a pretty complete sense memory of what that combination of elements smelled like. I started to form a random thought about what it would be like to suck his cock. He was about the same size as me but thicker. How hard would it be to wrap my mouth around his glistening purple head...? At this point we were full on exchanging hand jobs. Was there an setting on the Kinsey scale where our status would jump from two horny straight guys jerking off to full on antique shopping, musical theater listening fags? I didn't have to wait long. He surprised me by dropping down to his knees, sat in front of me between my legs and took my cock into his mouth.

Having my best friend suck my cock was never anything I fantasized about but stranded on the Jersey shore, with nothing to do but watch reruns of Mr. Ed and have the kind of quiet, self consciously discreet sex with my wife (small house, thin walls, sound travels) I was suddenly aware of the waves of pressure that had been building up in my balls. That frustration had given me a new perspective. And to be honest, while sex with Lisa was amazing, blowjobs were never her strong suit. She was a petite little thing with a sweet, tiny mouth and an oversized gag reflex. A lot of her going down on me meant holding back the impulses to let go. Dave had no such limits. A minute after he started going down on me I was full on fucking his face so hard I was starting to cum.

I thought he was going to pull away but he seemed dedicated to taking this to completion. I get nostalgic thinking about how much cum I could generate back then. Or remember what it looked like spilling out of his mouth and coating his face and lips and how touching it was to see him devotedly licking the rest of it off my cock.

Fun fact #87. Men completely lose interest in sex immediately after an orgasm. The dreaded refractory period. Doesn't last long but pretty much impossible to ignore for a few minutes. Must be some kind of cosmic joke right? We spend 99% of our time thinking about how and when and with whom we're going to get laid and once we finally do, suddenly it's the farthest thing from our minds.

Poor Dave. I think he fully expected for me to return the favor but suddenly the whole idea of me touching him at all was completely out of the question. I knew myself well enough to know that the feeling would pass in a few minutes but what the fuck was I suppose to do in the meanwhile? I was trying to come up with a plan and an apology when I heard the sound of Lisa's car grinding onto the gravel driveway. She was sure to be loaded up with shopping bags. By the time she could organize them and her travel mug and pocket book and backpack I did a quick mental calculation that we had about a minute or two to clean up. Dave jumped into his sweats and disappeared back into his room.

Sitting across from Lisa, I was flooded with this sense of guilt and tension. I'd never cheated on her and the whole series of events had sort of rolled out without any conscious thought. Really, I thought we were just going to rub one out. Now I had this sense that karma was charging me with two debts to that had to be repaid. I owed David for the time and attention he'd given me and Lisa for not including her in something we'd always ever done together.

###

Fun fact #88. Men are visual animals. It wasn't long before Lisa went through her ritual of putting on a fashion show trying on all of the outfits she purchased that morning. I had no complaints about what she brought home but to be honest my favorite times were between outfits when she pranced around topless in skimpy black panties. I could sit and watch this all day. When she was finally done she shimmied into her bathing suit again.

"What the hell are you thinking wearing that thing? It's cold out and there's no heat in this place."

"You promised me a week at the beach and that's what I'm here for. Do you have any idea how many suits I had to try on before I found this one!"

"No argument from me. Your ass does looks spectacular in that thing. But we're down to just the three of us now. I'm not sure if you're aware of the effect you're having on Dave."

Looking back, I think that's exactly what she wanted to hear.

"You mean, he likes it? He's turned on?"

"I mean you make his dick hard. And mine. And all of the other guys who were here. Not a bad thing mind you but it would be rude to leave him all dressed up with no place to go."

We'd talked about threesomes before. She seemed excited at the prospect but doubtful that time, place, opportunity and the right partner would ever have a chance of coming together at just the right time.

"So what are you saying... the three of us should fool around?"

"Sure would make us forget about the weather, wouldn't it?"

It was early afternoon when the three of us finally rendezvoused at the dining room table for lunch. Lisa liked to cook. She hovered on the other side of the counter getting the ingredients ready for lunch, the back of her bathing suit tucked up into a serious wedge in her ass. Dave looked at me, eyes wide open without saying a word. If he had he might have said something like... "oh my god, will you look at that ass!" or "hope you don't mind but I really need to jerk off as I watch her move around the kitchen."

The tension lasted until the tuna noodle casserole she was making hit the table and suddenly it was back to small talk and plans for the afternoon. Maybe a movie? Dinner out again? Trivial Pursuit for the umpteenth time? I had to wonder about that wedgie she was sporting. Did she know she was on display like that? Did she care?

"Why don't we stick around here and take some photos?" I had thought to bring my camera and a few strobes hoping for a chance to add some beach shots for my portfolio. So far all that gear had been collecting dust in the well packed camera bag that was still sitting in my room.

Lisa asked, "what did you have in mind?"

"Your butt crack is inspiring me to shoot some pinups, if that's not too much of a request.

She was a natural exhibitionist. Never turned down a request to pose. We started out doing softcore Playboy but evolved to hardcore Hustler in the last few months. I could detect the barest hint of a blush at the prospect of doing anything like that with another guy around.

She raised an eyebrow and said, "...and you think Dave is just going to sit around while we shoot?"

"Nah, we can use him. Maybe he could be the pizza boy getting seduced by the voracious MILF?"

She covered her mouth for a suppressed laugh and rolled her eyes at the prospect. In a moment she plopped down onto his lap and wrapped her arms around him, the cleavage from her boobs swaying dangerously close to his face.

"You mean like this?" she said. Unapologetically flaunting her sexual prowess.

I honestly hadn't expected her to move that fast. My cock got instantly hard and started to rub against the fabric of my cycling shorts. Those things were skin tight. It was silly how embarrassingly obvious I was.

Dave was blushing bright red. He pointed his chin at my cock, trying to punch its way out of my shorts..."I guess that would be better than playing board games for a change, no?"

Fun fact #3. Porn isn't like reality. In porn the transition from the setup that puts the characters in the same room to the actual start of depravity usually takes less than a minute. Cue the bad 70's music and they're off to the races. In real life this wasn't the case at all. Lisa sat on Daves lap, slowly grinding her ass onto his lap while he cautiously felt her boobs, first from the outside of her suit then, testing his limits, sweeping the cups and bra straps aside and letting her breasts fall out where he finally could get a decent squeeze. But in the middle of all this, she was still trying to serve lunch, issuing orders to turn off the burners, get something to drink, bring things to the table.

And of course the fucking phone had to ring at that very moment with a call from my office. The guy they hired as my clueless replacement was in over his head and had issues I couldn't avoid helping him deal with. I watched helplessly as the two of them continued to feel each other up, Dave's hand reaching down to rub her pussy as she shoved her hips back and forth trying to amplify the sensations.

"Yeah, yeah... I'm sure the contract specified delivery of first round of creative is scheduled for next week but the actual launch isn't until a month later..."

Dave was nuzzling her neck while the phone had me tethered to this sort of virtual bubble, forcing me to deal with issues that I cared absolutely nothing about. Some part of me thought I deserved this. Dave had sucked my cock like his life depended on it a few hours earlier and I'd done nothing in return. I'd unintentionally left Lisa out of all the fun, something I'd promised myself I'd never do. I'd watched a dozen marriages of other friends fall apart due to infidelities. Stupid I thought. If you're bored why not include the person who's closest to you as a partner in all your adventures?

I finally managed to hang up the phone, that interval of enforced chastity making my mouth dry and my dick hard.

The two of them were still dancing around first base. It was hot to watch them feeling each other up but now that we were at it, I thought they could use a nudge.

Lisa's bathing suit had two snaps that held it together at the crotch. I reached over and pulled her thighs apart. Unsnapped the bathing suit so that the fabric jerked apart like an opening curtain and left her pussy exposed to the full light of day. Dave picked a discreet moment when Lisa wasn't watching to mouth the words "thank you!" to me. I figured I owed him at least that much. He didn't wait long before starting to finger my wife. He covered her pussy with his the palm of his hand and let one or two fingers slip inside of her. Even from where I was standing I could tell she was wet and steamy and offered no resistance to being penetrated. Lisa made me smile when she caught my eye and put her pouty lips together to blow me a kiss.

For my part, I was relieved to finally be able to slip out of my shorts and let myself take in the scene. I guess I could have joined them but for now, just the fact that the balance sheet of what I owed the two of them was getting so completely reconciled, I was happy just to watch.

In a few minutes, their clothes were in a pile on the floor. A timer went off in my head that told me that most likely, they'd be fucking some time in the next 60 seconds or so. I was fine with that but I wanted it to be more. There were three of us. So many possible combinations of things to do that it would have been sad to see the opportunity reduced to something so routine. And honestly, I was having the time of my life just watching and jerking off.

I decided I was going to help. Lisa's legs were spread as she leaned back on the couch. I could smell her wet essence from across the room. I thought I'd eat her pussy to help get her wet but my face got soaked in the first few moments of contact. She did taste delicious, her thighs locking around my head let me know that I was on the right track. David was politely stroking his cock a few inches away. My refractory period from earlier that morning was long gone at this point and I figured that now was as good a time as any to pay back the favor. As soon as my mouth wrapped around his cock I understood why he'd been so completely enraptured that morning. Something about the chemistry of a hard cock hitting the back of my throat flipped a switch that made me completely submissive. Lisa stared open mouthed at what we were doing. For a few seconds I thought I might have blown my marriage. The two of us were pretty open minded but I never presented myself as anything other than straight. I knew we were OK when she grabbed the base of his cock and started stroking him into my mouth. I knew he was going to fuck her next and for some reason I'd taken it as my mission to make it as intense as I could.

He pulled his cock out of my mouth and slid it into my wife's waiting cunt. It slipped in without the least bit of resistance... both of them covered in foamy white spit from me sucking the the two of them.

She lowered herself onto the base of his cock, her pussy getting progressively more stretched out as she did. He was thicker than me. I think that caused her to slow down to get used to the sensation of being stretched out wider than usual. Dave's hands were on either side of her butt, pulling her apart to maximize the friction. Her perfect little asshole slowly rising and falling as his penis stroked in and out of her pussy. Her labia formed a perfect seal around his cock, shiny and lubricated by her essence and his precum. I was sure that most human beings in the course of their entire lives would never get to see anything close to this. The overriding thought in my mind was to just be amazed at just how fucking beautiful the whole thing was. For every single person on the planet, all seven billion of them, two people had come together to do exactly this but for some stupid reason it was always something to be cloaked in mystery and hidden to all but a few.

In a few moments she was able to get used to the intensity of the sensation and moving to climb on top of him, started to fuck him at a faster clip. Still overwhelmed by the sight of what was going on, I wasn't going anywhere. I licked the shaft of his cock as he fucked her. Slid down to his balls and felt her ass hit me in the face as she rocked her hips up and down. I think she read my mind as she pulled his cock out and leaned back to spread her legs apart. Her pussy, glistening wet and slightly stretched apart was irresistible. I buried my face in it. Felt her wetness covering my face. She tasted salty, sweet and slightly metallic as I did my best to fuck her with my tongue. Not to be left out, Dave grabbed me by the hair and planted his cock in my mouth. Nothing subtle about this. Later on, after we were done, he made it a point to apologize. Something about being overwhelmed and losing control. No apologies needed. It was about as perfect a moment as I could ever have hoped for.