All Comments on 'Fun with Step Sister's Friends Pt. 01'

Wtf I just read this same exact story just a few hours back. Y u copying stuff?

Promising, the 'game' could have plenty more rounds to it, ie which of the girls pussy's look the best, taste the best, who is quickest to cum, etc etc. Use your imagination.

It was a short, fun read... every 19 year olds fantasy! I ll give it a thumbs up !

a knockoff of another really popular story on here, it was way less well-written and overall just not as good, 2 stars

Horrible writing. Take a few dozen English classes before you try again.

I also suggest you don't copy others' work when you try again. That's just pathetic.

I know you won't be taking my advice. You don't see anything wrong with your writing, just like most of the marginally literate readers here.

FYI, stepsister is one word.

Can't wait for MORE SOON!!!!!

The story was good, a good consept. But the typos bugged me a lot. Have someone proof read it for you. And it should have been longer and more drawn out. The things should not have happend so fast. Otherwise, a decent, ok stort.

Come up with something original.

I’ll echo the two Anonymous comments that the submission is a copy/paste word for word of another submission. Will leave it at that

Needs a tie breaker! 7 minutes in heaven!

Not good. As has been pointed out already, it's a rip off of a much better story and is totally lacking credibility. How do you get to be such an expert on bra sizes? Spending a lot of time in the Victoria's Secrets catalogue I suppose.

I appreciate that, while writing this story the other author was likely also composing their story.

Ample opportunity for quite a variety of subsequent 'chapters.'

And a bit of critique:

Grammer is not your strength, please get an editor.

A local university from my parents . . . from? to or near, and that is in the first line.

"we friendly towards. . ." Grammer: We are friendly . . .

These are but a couple of further examples of needing an editor.

I haven't seen the referenced similar story BUT do think you have great potential to lay de pleat the young man's energy:

A) before he returns to classes

B) before the parents return

C) before he settles in with his step sister

OR

D) before his step sister insists on in clouding her friends in further developments

(This fits both incest and taboo classifications)

Please, keep writing, with editing, you are showing potential.

Bad copy of an existing good story! With all the bad grammar and typos not worth more than two stars and I deduct another for stealing. So the total is one star

Incomplete. Not enough development, and it ends without much resolution. I get that this is potentially part 1 of several, but each part deserves a bit of a conclusion.

Great start to this story. Can't wait for next part.

This could use a part two.

Get an editor quick.