Gabbi Go 01

Gabbi Go 01

Hi there. I portray as Gabbi Go as often as I can and I have a lot of fun doing it. I am pretty good at cross dressing, I can role play Gabbi Go to the hilt, I am a good friend, I am a good neighbor, I am a good cook (barefoot too!) and apparently, I am a tease. Not a sexual tease, LOL, I think, but a tease of sorts just the same. I've never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend, but I wouldn't shy away from any possibilities in the future.

My stature is small, my butt looks good in those bathroom sink selfies (with a few moments of staging) and I've been told many times that my hair seems out of place when I dress as my natural born self, Gabe, but I've been told that it works for me when I transform into Gabbi Go. I usually respond with something like what else would they expect from the oddball when I'm dressed as Gabe and I thank them when they are speaking to Gabbi Go. The truth is, I think the hair style that Hilda gives me comes from the lesbian community and I don't care. It's easy to maintain, I like the way one side curls under my left jaw bone and with a simple flip of my head, I can hide one eye.

All in all, I am the oddball, but you'll open the door for me every time I knock. LOL, I deliver groceries from the local big box grocery store right to your front porch and when I say I, I mean Gabbi Go shows up with whatever you ordered, Monday through Noon on Friday's.

If your customer ID comes up with a Green Star, then it means you're a good side tipper and we have flirted in the past, man or woman. LOL, you'd be surprised how many married ladies are on the look out for some way to keep from having relations with the hubby of 20 years or more. I haven't agreed to any "deals" yet, but keep you eye out for the Red Star label below.

A Blue Star indicates that you're a decent side tipper and you tried to flirt back with me, but your mental issues keep holding you back from going to far. And that's OK. Not being everyone's type is the easy answer, but you just keep trying and by all means, keep slipping that side paper my way.

A Yellow Star indicates that you're new to my regular customer list and we're both trying to figure a few things out. Getting back to that "not everyone's type" thing, I'll give you all the space you want to settle on my life style choice. Love me or leave me, but keep those side tips coming while you come to terms with our arrangement.

Oh, damn, the Red Star. I only have one Red Star customer, Mrs. Teagarden. Oh, Mrs. Teagarden wants a "deal" and straight up called me out. She was very forward about it and called me out to play my part by stating "if you're going to roleplay a girl, then suck my hubby's dick like a girl", which she followed up with a handsome reward offer. Circling back to what I said before, I've never been with a girl or a boy, so, yeah, she called me out and gave me a few weeks to respond. This is not what I meant when I said I would keep my options for a partner open in the future and hopefully, when I circle back to Mrs. Teagarden, I have good news in my favor.

Now for the Gold Star customers. I have a few and we all get along and play the flirting and big side tip games well, but my favorite is Dale. Dale holds the number one spot because we actually live in the same Condo complex and our Condos are only separated by our 2-car garages. My advantage is making Dale my last delivery of the day and it's a short walk. My disadvantage is that I would date Dale, if Dale would ask me out, but sadly, I am not his type and prefers to get his "dick wet" the traditional way. But all of that is fine for now because Dale is also side tipper number one and he has developed a very unique way to slip me that side paper, which almost gives me a little hope because he likes something about me. Dale, Mr. Smooth Operator, has a habit of slipping those side green backs up inside the right pant leg of whatever Denim shorts I am wearing and he lingers for a moment as he shoves those folded bills as far up my pant leg as he can. I mean, he must like something, right? Oh, and don't worry about those green backs falling out. I don't wear anything loose fitting on the job. Loose and casual fits are for jammies and the occasional backyard capri's and not for suckering extra side tips from customers.

I mean, he must like something, right? Yes, I'm fishing for help here.

Anyways, not only is Dale my number one, I'm also his number one cook. Not in his kitchen, but in mine with another special prepared meal delivery. Dale funds all of the pre made meals and yes, I skim a little off the top by cooking more than he can eat, but Dale still eats well and it's like I'm the best girlfriend he doesn't have. Oh, and his mom loves me too because I keep her precious son fed and heathy. LOL, I'm her number one as long as I deliver sealed plastic containers and leave.

For a little more about Dale, let me just say that he works a crazy afternoon shift with overtime down at the Lubricant factory on the south side of Middleton. It seems like he sleeps a little in the late hours of the early morning, is awake for a few hours and then works into the wee hours of the morning. Hence, prepared meals in individual containers that are Microwave ready and a Christmas card from his mom.

Oh, and guess what? Not one single Smoothie date no matter how long I spend barefoot in the kitchen! I mean, money isn't everything, right? Not one, not one damn Smoothie.

Anyways, there are other perks that come with knowing and pampering Dale. I mean, not girlfriend perks, but every Friday brings a twist in my favor, I think. Dale has two friends, Jason and Patrick, who stop by every Friday at about 1pm to get their "buddy" time in with Dale or their "bromance" time in with Dale or whatever the cool kids are calling it these days. Jason and Patrick are my perks and this is where my "tease" title comes in. My "tease" hat is a visor with that infamous broken circle symbol on the front and I wear it every Friday afternoon.

So, I don't know if the cool kids call it heating up the iron or getting the snake ready to strike, but I know exactly when Dale has to break up the bromance party so he can punch in on time and I mean I have his timing down to a science. Enter stage left, the teasing of Dale's friend's Jason and Patrick.

At exactly the T minus 2 minutes mark on the count down, I gather a few bags of snack food and several bags of prepared meals, all individually packaged in plastic containers and ready to be warmed up in the Microwave when Dale gets home in the wee hours of the morning. I'm telling you straight up, I am the best girlfriend Dale doesn't have.

Now, to earn the "tease" hat that I wear while dropping off the food at Dale's, I usually wear nylon blended Lycra bicycle shorts that fit me like vacuum packaging and are something that I would never ride a bike while wearing because of the shrink wrap effect. I also have a habit of wearing a black and bronze CC jersey that I shouldn't wear. It's clearly a female style crop top jersey, but I like that small exposure of my belly just above and just below my belly button. LOL, Jason and Patrick like it too, I think.

By the way, damn it, I do a lot for Dale and he could at least take me out for a Smoothie once in a while, you know! Sorry, just bitching.

Anyways, at 1:58 pm, I walk through Dale's patio doors off of the rear deck like it's my boyfriend's Condo and set the snacks and prepared food down on the counter. My "tease" routine is to immediately say hello to the guys by walking behind them and greeting them with a soft and gentle hand swipe across their shoulders as I greet each of them by name. But I don't linger, it's touch and go because I need to save enough time to stand in front of the refrigerator, with the rear view of my vacuum shrink wrapped backside to them and slowly explain each prepared and sealed plastic container as I hold them up and over my shoulder, you know, for their viewing pleasure. I always know where Jason and Patrick's eyes are and I always know that Dale is kicking back with that infamous smirk on his face as his friend's drool over all of the meals his non girlfriend is loading into the refrigerator for him. Hah! Best girlfriend ever! Who enjoys a Smoothie every now and then, but you know, right?

Oh, I wish Jason and Patrick would drool over me like they do when I go on about the Almond Chicken I just put in Dale's refrigerator! I mean, of course I say it the other way on my Chang homepage, but it would be nice if someone smacked their lips because my eyes were so defined, but the truth is, my seasoned hash browns in a sealed container get most of the jaw drops. But, each Friday, I learned a few things.

I've learned that if you want a guy's attention, talk about food, right? Tease number one.

If you want to create a little jealousy, talk about food that Jason and Pat won't get to eat because of Dale's weird work schedule. Tease number two.

Oh, and if you want to be the envy of your friends, LOL, smirk like Dale does when I explain how to warm up each course in the Microwave. Tease number three. Hah, Dale can smirk at Jason and Patrick like nobody else can! Oh, and hah again, it's like Dale has a girlfriend without having a girlfriend.

One Smoothie! Just one Smoothie date would go a long way. One, I tell you!

Anyways, after I finished messing with their stomachs and their eyes, I reverse the process and say good bye to each of them individually. Jason has walked me out to the back patio door a few times, but he gets all flustered and he never says what's on his mind. He likes what he sees and so does his boner, but his brain reminds him that I am not his type.

Damn it, come on, my bike shorts were liquid plastic just an hour ago before I brushed them on, right? One Smoothie!

And that's my Friday 2 minutes of the afternoon. I get the wheels in the guy's heads turning, but they won't put the Trans in drive. I get to know that their crotch's like body paint bike shorts and I'm pretty sure that they oil their own bike chains, but my handle bars still haven't been handled. I mean, they better be oiling their chains because I go into great detail as I explain how to heat up the BBQ Ribs. And they also better drool over my thighs just as much as they drool over the mini meatloaves. I mean, I know they think about me slaving away barefoot in the kitchen, but damn it, one fricking Smoothie, right? I mean, one from each of course, but just one!

Anyways, without a Smoothie in sight, I came up with Plan B. For some reason, Jason or Patrick never asked for a meal themselves at any level. I don't why they never asked, but they didn't. So, I took advantage of an upcoming "boys" weekend over the 4th of July holiday weekend. Holidays are a big deal down here and holiday festivals are even a bigger deal, so the factory was closing for the long weekend, which gave Dale more days off than ever before and the three of them planned a camping trip in the woods with the mountain lions and the wild boars.

Knowing that I would miss out on generating boners for 2 minutes on a Friday, I came up with Plan B. I thought it would be nice of me to have Jason and Patrick over on the Wednesday before the camping trip for a home cooked meal. And because I knew that Gina had a sweet eye for Patrick, I was going to invite her over too. With Dale working the afternoon shift and unable to join us, Gina would round out the table for a balance of four chairs.

Hah, Gabbi Go was on the go and buying ingredients with Dale's food allowance! But that' alright. I told him about my Plan B and offered my right leg so he could make a deposit like only he does. By the way, seriously, what's the deal with that? I mean, I moan a little when he slips his fingers up all up in there. It seems like a soft moan should be worth a Smoothie.

Anyways, I had everything all set. I had a new outfit to wear, I had all of the food I needed and I had plenty of beverages on hand. And the e-invites I sent out to Jason, Patrick and Gina were well defined about the start and stop time of the dinner and included a few stipulations that were mandatory. Mandatory, I tell you!

First, they had to arrive exactly when I stated. They each had fifteen minutes separation between their arrivals. I wanted Jason to have fifteen minutes alone with me in case he learned any new words. Then I gave Patrick fifteen minutes to "buddy up" with Jason while I finalized the meal and I then brought in Gina last just because she can be a handful sometimes. Those were the easy stipulations. With a heavy emphasis on "mandatory", I made it clear that everyone had to stay for one hour after dinner and watch my favorite cooking competition show at 8pm with no questions and no grumblings! I was willing to feed them, but they had to put up with my end of the meal and that was one hour with Chef G. Hah, silly me, right?

But everything got off to a decent start. Jason was on time and my neighbors got an eyeful of me as I opened the door for him. I failed to consider that with a holiday coming up, there would be people milling about outside and walking on the sidewalks. Hah, Mr. Tanner certainly wanted to go on a bike ride with me for sure and by that, I mean he wanted to ride my bike as long as I was wearing vacuum packed bike shorts.

Fortunately, out of respect for Gina, I wore a pair of beach shorts over the bike shorts, bike shorts that would qualify me for an arrest warrant. I held up three fingers and let Mr. Tanner read between the lines.

And Jason was cool about my skimpy outfit, sort of. I had him sit on the couch, got him a beer and checked in with him to see what he learned from his "word of the day" toilet paper. And then OMG, he started to speak.

"We never say anything about you Gabbi Go, you know that right?"

"I know, to my face anyways and I appreciate that. Just don't be so afraid to say something to me when you walk me to Dale's patio doors. I promise, I won't bite you unless you ask me too. Now, don't get too buzzed before the others arrive."

"Well, I like your weird hair, but do you ever think about growing it out so you could have a ponytail or pigtails or something like that?"

"Oh, I've thought about it many times, but it's that in between phase that sucks. But Jason, what would happen if I did have a ponytail or pigtails? If I had a ponytail, would you pull on it as you rode me like a Stallion or a Bronco? Or would you prefer pigtails so you could hold them like handles as you used them to guide my mouth back and forth over your hard rod? Which would you prefer Jason? To ride me like a pony or to piston my face? Oops, hold please, Pat just pulled in so you can have your "bromance" time before Gina shows up and screws his brains out. OMG, put a pillow over your lap or something. I don't think Patrick will care to see that. Besides, I've seen it plenty of times."

And I was off and walking towards the door and he was stumbling with more broken words.

"Hey, wait, what? Pigtails and a pony? Wait, Pat's here? What? Is Pat early? Wait, does that piston thing work? Gabbi Go! Wait, I like Broncos and stuff. Damn it, Gabbi, wait a minute. OMG, where are the pillows?"

See? Almost complete sentences. And see? He likes my choice of shorts and so did the neighbors, again! OMG, I quickly ushered Patrick inside and had him sit on the couch while I retrieved him a beer so he could get his full fifteen minutes of bromance time in with Jason.

"BRB with a beer for you guys. And Jason, I hope you noticed how Patrick air kissed me on his way in. He knows how to greet a host when the host greets him at the door, whether the host is his type or not. A gentleman, I tell you."

Hah, Jason and Patrick probably thought that I couldn't hear them from the kitchen, but their laughter and fist bumps were clearly signs of false story telling. Hah, I hustled back quickly with the beer before Jason got to the part where I promised to let him use my future pigtails as vines so he could go all Tarzan on me. I mean, guys and their stories, right?

And I'm going to tell you right now that I'm lying a little here, but to keep those two from making up any additional false stories, I shimmied between them on the couch as I handed them both a beer. Also, I didn't shimmy, unless two hip bumps can be considered as a shimmy, but I did the best that I could.

"Alright you two, that's enough with the fantasy stories for a while. Gina will be here in a moment, so behave yourselves."

"It's all good Jungle Jane, I mean Gabbi Go. Hey, what are the chances that your girl Gina will show up in pigtails? I mean, it's holiday week and you're slaving barefoot in the kitchen and blonde pigtails are a good thing, right?"

"Oh Pat, you're such an idiot. First of all, Gina is your girl, well, just as soon as you stop being an idiot. Secondly, LOL, she has way too much hair for pigtails. Now you listen to me, Pat. Gina gave me the name of a product that comes in a small box and that box is in my bedroom inside of a small brown paper which inside of a larger brown paper bag and under a towel on my dresser. Are you catching on? Sadly, I've never had the opportunity to use a condom, so I'm assuming they are good ones. Also, that's a piece of information for you guys, I don't know jack."

"Oh, I suppose we all figured that out and it's cool. I think it's safe to say that we like you just the way you are. I mean, you could let your hair grow out, but, you know, you just go ahead and be you. Jack can wait. Also, who in the hell is Jack and are sharing you with him?"

"LOL, no, you are the only guys I prance around for. I mean, Jack is one of my regular customers on my grocery delivery routes, but my regulars only get a few minutes on the front porch. So, you're not mad that I invited Gina over, are you? I just thought your "guys only" weekend might be better if your balls were emptied at least five times before your trip."

"See? That's another reason why we love you just the way you are. I mean, you're the best girlfriend who isn't a girlfriend ever! It's no wonder Jason is so horny for you! Oops."

OMG, look at that, will you? Jason's face actually turned beet red!

"Actually Pat, thanks, I do try to be the girlfriend none of you have. Just try to watch her perfume scent on my pillow cases, OK? Also, I suppose I'll just set up two TV trays for Jason and I and then make two dinners to go, right?"

And then I heard Gina's sports car pull up, right on time and OMG, one more peek at my shrink wrap shorts for the neighbors, I guess.

"Hey Gabbi Go, are you feeding my man and why am I the last one to arrive?"

"Yeah, so you don't have to be bothered with that part of life. I got his stomach covered and you cover everything else, I guess."

"Oh, yeah, cool, sorry sissy. So, is the cooking show watch party part really mandatory? I mean, blah, blah, blah, right?"

"Absolutely mandatory, Gina! It's Chef G and it's the semi-final cook off!"

"But you'll sleep better tonight with the scent of my perfume filling your nostrils from your pillow cases. Insert puppy dog eye here, right?"

"Hah, only if you're wearing a black bra to hang on my bedroom door knob so I can post a picture on Chang so those nonbelievers start to believe that I might just actually know Jack."

"Oh, well, I can I borrow a black bra from your dresser and get a couple of dinners to go? Also, OMG, you didn't invite Jack and Jason over at the same time, did you?"

"No, but I did hang a black bra on the inside of the door because you like to show off your pencil erasers. You should rub some of your perfume scent on that too."

"Just how many kinds of a freak are you, Gabbi Go?"

Oh, I started to count and this is what I came up with. Cross dressing freak, check 1. Cooking freak, check 2. Wonders about sex, check 3. Best non girlfriend ever because of that cooking freak thing, check 4. Still loves the way Gina's hip sway as she pushes right past me, check 5.