All Comments on 'Games of Elfkind Ch. 03'

by Wild_Abandon

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  • 6 Comments
caesarionr69caesarionr69over 10 years ago
nice start

just raced trough the first 3 chapters and i am starting to like it

i am also more interested in the old world of cade. so maybe some flashbacks to show us more of the wonderfull setting you have created for us.

continue writing this series because i can't wait for the next chapter

good work

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
bringing Elisa in

Have Elisa already been brought to the fae realm days after her expulsion and she meets with Cad again

wolfjkushwolfjkushover 10 years ago
more

Very good start. I hope you will write more and soon!

JummieJummieover 10 years ago

Its a nice story so far, though you could maybe give about slightly more background info on the world here and there, although you may have that planning in later chapters.

Second thing is that the chapters are kind of short, you could have made this into one read easily.

MojomaggieMojomaggieover 10 years ago
Nice Start

Nice start to your story. I am glad you decided to ditch the attempt at archaic speech. All the thee's and thou's and wilt and canst and so on work well if you are good at it, but it was obviously something that you had not had a lot of practice with. It is always better to avoid attempting to write any sort of dialect unless or until you have mastered it, otherwise the impact is likely not to be what you intend. Poorly handled, it bogs down your story rather than creating atmosphere. Normal dialogue works far better, in most cases.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
need more

GREAT story....needs more storyline....looking forward to seeing more....The sex is good, also.

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