Garden of Eden Ch. 04

"And why did you think it worked this time?" Lori looked curiously over the edge of her coffee cup at Eden, as if she was hiding.

"It was a lot of things. The context, the sessions we had been doing at the workshop, the number of hands all over me was incredible..." Eden trailed off, but Lori knew her too well.

"And?"

"And..." Eden paused and took a deep breath. "And it was the audience. I needed people there to be watching me. Louis and I have great sex, but no one ever watches us. That's the missing factor. That's the part that's a bit hard to communicate to him."

"So what did you tell him when you got home?"

Eden relayed most of the story to Louis the previous weekend. How the body workshop sessions had slowly opened up new feelings about her own pleasure. How she met some other women who seemed to have as many problems as herself. How there was a pleasure performance at the end where Eden had finally, rapturously orgasmed for the first time in years.

She had left out the role that her newfound confidant, Hannah, had played in tying her up, using a vibrator and urging the other participants to use their hands in creative ways on Eden's body. That could wait.

Louis, for his part, was very happy to hear that Eden had made a breakthrough, and that was enough for him at the moment. Eden suspected that he felt a little emasculated for not having played a bigger role in his wife of ten years orgasm enlightenment. There was much to be explored. But not shared right at this moment with her long-time gal pal.

"I told him most of it. He was very pleased and supportive."

"Hopefully you can bring it home for him... if you know what I mean."

Eden gave a sideways grin at Lori as she got up to leave. "I'd better go. See you next week?"

****

Louis didn't like the conference dinners and after party's that were par for the course in his job. Just do the work, there was no need to schmooze, he thought. He was expected to be there, and he was, with Eden in tow, who didn't mind getting out of the house for the evening.

Mingling at the hotel bar was a selection of Louis' workmates and significant others, talking shop, which was somewhat isolating for the partners who stood taking quick sips from champagne glasses. Eden motioned with her eyes to the two wives she knew quite well, and the group of three retreated to a table to let the gentlemen solve whatever tedious bureaucratic conundrum had grabbed their attention.

Suzanne and Eden had known each other since their husbands, Eric and Louis, had both started working at the company at the same time. Their lives had mirrored ever since with kids born in the same years, and promotions moving the men into offices higher up the building. They didn't spend much time together socially, but there was enough work-related functions to feel like they bonded. Felicity was new, as was her partner James, joining the 'family', as the boss liked to say, in the last year.

Suzanne brought the champagne refills to the table. "So boring. Glad you ladies are here to keep me entertained. And watered."

"I'm happy to be out of the house! Although, I guess this is a usual Friday for you Felicity? Out on the town, dressed to the nines?"

"Not really. We're pretty boring really. James works pretty hard still trying to make a good impression. 'Netflix and chill' is a typical Friday. This is a nice change."

"I remember those days," Suzanne said, "Eric working late while I was home by myself. Didn't have Netflix in those days though, had to find other ways to keep myself entertained. Am I right ladies?"

Suzanne let out a gruff, single syllable laugh. Eden was used to Suzanne saying what was on her mind, especially after a few drinks. Felicity stared into her champagne while Suzanne continued.

"Often it was surfing the local TV channel looking for some kind of inspiration. Usually an old Bond film, but occasionally, if you were patient, there was enough skin to get you going. You're spoilt for choice these days Felicity. If you can imagine it, you can find it at the flick of a button." Suzanne paused so the meaning of her comments had time to ferment. 'Scuse the pun."

"What pun?" said Felicity, vainly trying to follow the thread of Suzanne's thoughts.

"Oh, umm. Flicking the button? Do the kids still say that these days?"

Eden sat with an amused grin on her face, interested to see where this would go. Felicity was clearly in the dark, and Suzanne was oblivious to how in the dark Felicity was.

"Um. I don't think so."

"What do they call it these days? Jilling off?"

"Call what?" Felicity searched for some help from Eden, who sat with her chin resting languidly on her hand, her sleepy eyes enjoying the comical scene. She thought she would help Felicity out.

"Suzanne is referring to touching yourself. Masturbation."

"Oh" Felicity was replaying the last few minutes in her mind. "Oh I see now." She took a gulp of her drink, and the older duo could see her cheeks flush red in embarrassment.

"You really should be taking advantage of your Friday nights, Felicity. Once the kids come along, sneaking an hour here or there for some romance can be quite an ordeal. I'm sure you could think of ways to get James home from the office?" Suzanne was pretty boozy by now, maybe she had started earlier than Eden? She continued, slurring her words occasionally, "I know I could think of a few things. Have thought of them. Am thinking of them. I need another drink."

"I don't think you do Suzanne," Eden intervened. "Let me get you a water."

"I can get it," Felicity stood up quickly and escaped to the safety of the bar.

"She seems nice. And innocent. What's with the young folk these days. They live in a sex-saturated society, but don't seem to be able to talk about it?"

Eden had pondered this before as well, especially as her own children neared the age of independent internet use. "It might be sex-saturated, but that doesn't mean their communication skills have got any better. They will grow up as repressed as any of us, but with a whole bunch of culture that they don't know how to process."

"Well, it might be high time us old folk take up the education baton" Suzanne said presciently.

"Yes," Eden said as Felicity set three clear glasses on the table. "I've certainly learned the value of a little education recently. Thanks Felicity." Suzanne gave a curious look at Eden, but it let it slide for now.

Felicity shifted in her seat, nervously glancing over at the group still deep in discussion by the bar. She leaned in conspiratorially "Suzanne, what do I do to get James home on a Friday? He seems to like being at the office more than being with me." She rubbed her eyes that had developed a film over them.

"Oh, my girl," the motherly Suzanne consoled. "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah. It is. But, James does work a lot. I just feel a bit neglected. Did you ever have that?"

"Of course," both Suzanne and Eden replied in unison. Eden took over. "Every marriage, every relationship, is going to go through stages like that. We've all been there. You have to work at it.. both of you do."

"We get on well. We're great together, we don't fight, we have the same... values I guess. I just want some more attention."

Suzanne put on her business face. "Ok. Let's get practical. What do you do? I mean, what are you currently doing to entice your guy from the office?"

"Um. Well. Shouldn't he just want to be with me?"

"Yes. And he does. He just needs a little encouragement sometimes. Are you having sex?"

"Yes, of course. Just when he gets home. I'm usually feeling bummed by that stage, so it's hard to get in to."

"Yes. But what are you doing to get yourself in the mood?"

"I'm in the mood when he gets me in the mood."

Eden sat up and joined in at this point. "Felicity, here's a thing I've learnt. It's not a man's job to get you in the mood. You are responsible for your own sexuality. Your partner should just be able to enjoy it with you. He doesn't make it for you. I learnt this much too late."

Felicity turned this over in her mind. "Hmm' she said. "Hmm." Again.

Eden continued "It's a construct that women can only be sexual because of a partner. You can just be a sexual person, and then invite a partner to be a part of it. It's a different, and liberating, way to view sexuality."

"Yes." Felicity paused and inhaled deeply, "it is different. I'd never thought about it like that. Why haven't I? Where was this in Sex Ed classes?"

"I often ask that myself ", Eden said. "Felicity, can I ask you a personal question?"

"Yeah, I guess?"

"Do you masturbate?"

****

"What's James like?"

Eden and Louis were driving home. Louis driving as per their arrangement for outings: whoever got dragged to the event, gets to drink the most.

"James? He's good. A hard worker."

"Maybe a little too hard."

"Oh?"

"Felicity is frustrated he doesn't come home on Fridays."

"Yeah, he often stays late. He's a bit of a perfectionist."

"Can you encourage him to leave earlier?"

"I could. Why?"

"Because Felicity wants him to. For, you know, intimate times."

A look of recognition from Louis. "Ah, I see. Is that all you ladies ever talk about."

Eden playfully slapped Louis' thigh and let her hand rest there. They drove on in silence, Eden's hand moving up and down slowly.

As Eden undressed that evening, Louis reclining nude on their bed, she did her best to imagine her fantasy: undressing in front of a crowd of strangers. Try as she might, it just didn't compare to the real thing. Desire is a drug, she thought, a greedy mistress always wanting more.

Eden snuggled in beside the warm body of her husband, caressing his chest, and eventually awakening his cock. They made love, like they had done maybe a thousand times before. And she enjoyed it, even if the ultimate pay-off was still beyond her. There was still pleasure, and intimacy, and love. Sometimes, that was all the pay-off Eden was after.

****

"Hi Hannah!"

"Hi Eden! Thanks for returning my call."

It had been a month or so, and Eden and Hannah had left the workshop promising to catch up and compare notes on their progress. Four weeks later it was Hannah that was the instigator.

"No worries. I had meant to call you last week, but, you know. I'll blame it on kids."

"Fair enough. How have you been?"

"Great. Lot's going on. Very busy."

"What about with what we discussed at the workshop?"

The workshop. The one where Eden had had the audience she craved, and was able to orgasm with the help of Hannah and some compatriots. Hannah and Eden had confided in each other about their mutual quirk of being turned on by being on show. This call was a check-in to see how much progress was being made.

"To be honest, I haven't got around to trying anything. But it's ok, I've still had some wonderful times with Louis. And I've used some of the breathing and body exercises. They work really well."

"Come on Eden, that's a cop out. You got to get yourself out there. Feel the rush!"

"Have you?"

"Yes! Of course! I've been doing practically nothing but. I went to a nude beach, which was awesome. I went running through the forest, stripped down and masturbated in the open. And this guy caught me! Well. He spied on me. I thought that was creepy to begin with, but then I realised I was the one jerking off in the open, who's to say who's creepy eh? He's nice, I'll be seeing him again soon."

"Woah. You really put yourself out there. How do you feel about it?"

"Alive! Great! That's why I wanted to talk to you. I thought you'd have some stories to tell!"

"Sorry, not this time Hannah. I will. I'll get on it. Next time. I'll have some stories. Or, a story. Promise."

Hannah talked some more about... well, Eden couldn't quite recall after. It was good to talk to her. Eden was excited to hear that Hannah was learning more about her sexuality. It was just the inspiration that she hoped these catch ups could provide.

Eden thought about her journey over the last few months. Seeing a therapist, practicing pleasure, exposing herself more publicly, going to a workshop, finally letting go and orgasming with the help of the workshop attendees. Where to from here? Is this where she thought this would end? What was the next phase of her journey?

For a start, she wanted to share her newfound sexuality with Louis, for him to be a part of it. Eden didn't know how to go about that yet. She wanted to reliably orgasm by herself and with Louis, on demand if possible. She wanted to know where the peak of pleasure lay. How much would one have to sacrifice. Reputation? Work? Relationships? She didn't know, and was anxious about where following the trail might lead. She needed a starting point, and that is what occupied her thoughts for a few days, while she put a plan in place.

****

"Hi Felicity! So glad you could come over."

"Thanks for the invite. You know what James is like. Putting the hours in."

"But he needs to put more hours in where it counts, right?"

Felicity agreed. Walking through Eden's house was like walking through a future she imagined. Clean, open space, entertainer's kitchen. It was certainly a step up from the 2-bed apartment she and James rented in the city.

"Have a seat, I'll get some wine."

Felicity sat on the couch and watched as Eden poured wine with an easy familiarity.

"What do you do for work, Felicity?"

"I'm doing law. I'm at a firm, but it feels like I'm a secretary at the moment. I photocopy, interview clients, write reports. If they ask me to make a coffee I'm quitting."

"Can you see yourself doing law like the partners at your firm?" Eden made her way around the couch and handed a full glass of white wine, sloshing loosely around the top of the glass, to Felicity.

"Yes. I can. But it feels such a long way away. I don't know what I want to do with myself."

"You're dissatisfied?"

"I just expected it to be different. With work, with James, with...with my sense of contentment. I don't know what I was hoping for. I've always harboured an undercurrent of discontent. Maybe that's just me?"

"Maybe. And maybe you haven't found your source yet? It's easy to think relationships and work will fill that void, but that sense comes from something deeper in our souls."

"Yes, that's probably right. You're very wise."

"You mean old?"

"You don't seem old. I meant what I said. You seem to have things figured out."

"Well. That's the impression we all like to give, isn't it?"

Over dinner, they chatted breezily while the wine flowed generously. It was when Eden had made margarita's that the reason for her invitation was broached.

"Remember at the function what I asked you?"

"You mean, about touching myself?"

"Yes."

"I remember turning red and nearly spitting my drink out and then James somewhat saved me by interrupting. I did think about it quite a bit."

"Just thought about it?"

"Umm...."

Eden brought the drinks to the table.

"You don't have to answer that. But it's worth thinking about. Owning your sexuality at least. I'm sure there's many ways to learn that particular lesson."

As Eden spoke, making direct eye contact with a slightly uncomfortable Felicity, she had lowered one of her hands below the table and pulled back her black dress to her hips. Leaning on one of her elbows, her face cradled in her hands, Eden smiled softly while Felicity spoke, her free, incognito hand teasing her outer lips with slow strokes.

"I have, you know, touched myself before. I don't think I love it as much as I should. Or as much as it seems everyone else is. Growing up, reading those magazines, it always seemed they were talking about an alternate universe. One where girls could just stick their hand down their pants and get off. And there were always these stories of girlfriend sleepovers where they talked all night about boys and explored themselves together. I never had friends like that. We hardly ever had a sleepover, let alone talked about boys, let alone talked about sex, let alone actually did something sexual. The most sexual it ever got was getting changed for Phys Ed class, and you'd sneak a peek at Carly Bossington new boobs, which were twice the size as anyone else. I do feel like I missed something, not having girlfriends who were into it. We still keep in touch. I wonder how they all got on? Maybe they did talk about it, but I wasn't invited."

All the while Eden played, only half listening, circling her hand over her moistening clit. She was sure she could smell the tell-tale signs of sex. Felicity was too lost in her own scrambled thoughts to notice.

"Thanks for talking with me. I've really only ever talked about sex with boyfriends, and they are probably not the most objective opinions on female sexuality, are they?"

"Hmm? Oh, boys are the worst." Eden sleepily replied. "I'm only new to the sexuality awakening you know. I'm no expert in practice, although I've thought a lot about the theory over the years."

"What do you mean in practice?"

"Well, I only recently learnt that I could orgasm. And it took some effort too. Saw a therapist, went to a workshop. That's probably a story for another time." Eden had kept her hand in motion, enjoying the heat rising up her torso, and the thrill of a visible fire inside her being exposed to the naive Felicity, sitting acorss the table.

"How did you learn to do it?" Felicity stopped herself, "if you don't mind me asking?"

"Well. Certainly, learning how to touch myself had something to do with it. And the context has to be just right."

"What do you mean context?"

"I guess the environment? I need something very particular. It's a bit embarrassing really."

Felicity was silent for a moment, and took an indelicate gulp of the margarita. She waited still, and managed to finally make eye contact with Eden, lifting her head slowly to meet her gaze.

Eden recognised something in those eyes, causing her heat to swarm, and her hand to make an involuntary movement inside her opening.

"I need an audience. That's my context. I can't seem to orgasm without it."

"Oh. And you learnt to orgasm? By touching yourself? Like, in front of people?"

"Yes."

"So do you still... touch yourself?"

"Yes. In fact, I'm doing it right now."

****

Louis was a little earlier than he expected. The meeting had folded when an insurmountable problem had presented. It could wait until morning, after a nights rest had allowed the complexities to settle at the bottom of the groups collective mind. Arriving home, he walked down the side of the house, approaching his usual entry of the sliding glass door into the living room. The front door was big and bulky - they thought it would make a statement from the street -, in hindsight too big to be practical when entering and leaving on a day to day basis. It made a statement when slowly rolling open to entertain guests, the large latch making a satisfying crunch, like a door to a medieval castle.

The lights were on in the living room, affirming that Eden was still entertaining her visitor. He didn't know Felicity at all, but James, her young, ambitious husband, had been working with Louis for a little while, and he was friendly enough. Louis didn't want to intrude, so instead of passing by the glass doors, he walked straight down the fence line toward the pool and sitting area. He often sat here late at night, contemplating problems, or just enjoying the stars, and silence.

Nestling into his favourite chair, he could see the kitchen, and the shadows of both Eden and Felicity's upper body projected starkly on the hob. They sat at the dining table, Louis thought, having a girl chat. He knew that Felicity had subtly initiated this invitation; he didn't want to impose.

Louis was lost in his own revelry, his thoughts wandering between his work problem, the logistics of moving the kids to their various engagements in the morning, his own plans to exercise more, and Eden's recent awakening, which he was sure he heard only half of the story. The half that he had heard was gratifying enough, and he felt himself swell at the memory of Eden's retelling. He only knew that there were women present when Eden had tipped over the edge to experience her first orgasm in years. But he also knew it couldn't have been that easy. Eden needed more than that.