All Comments on 'Genie'

You, sir, are an incorrigible romantic!

This was an incredibly sweet story. And well written. I only spotted two errors and those had to do with spacing. Or, perhaps more accurately, paragraphing. Most probably an error caused by shifting formats between the processing software it was written on and the submission screen.

However, I did have a couple of problems with it as submitted to a Halloween Erotica contest.

First is the definition of erotica; Erotica (from the Greek ἔρως, eros "desire") is any artistic work that deals substantively with erotically stimulating or sexually arousing subject matter. I read it through three times and tried to be most careful in my judgement since I will be the first to admit that many of us, myself included, have become jaded enough that we look for pornography and call it erotica. However, I just did not see anything that could be construed as "sexually arousing". Even the kiss between the couple was remarkably chaste. Little more than what might be expected between a brother and sister outside of the taboo category.

I do note that it was submitted as a "Romance" and as such SHOULD have a lighter touch to the details. The above paragraph should NOT be construed as a desire on my part to see Reginald rip Hermione's black lace thong she wore under more conservative clothing from her body to bare her beautiful treasure to his sight as it would be anti-characterization to do so. However, I do think a bit more passion, however repressed, would be a welcome addition. Perhaps a bit more investigation of the kiss and what Reginald felt from it? Perhaps a bit more exploration of the thrill he felt when their hands touched at the pub? Just, something to show a burgeoning sexual desire a tad more clearly.

The second issue that I had is that I'm somewhat of a fan of the holiday of Halloween. I love the lore and the tradition of it above and beyond any other that we celebrate. While I don't pretend to know everything about it, I am fairly widely read on the subject, I think. And I don't recall a point of confluence between the myth of the Genie (or Jinni depending on the geography) and the lore of Halloween. However, I will allow that I may be mistaken since, as I said, I doubt I have read everything about it.

Those two points aside, I do applaud your nerve in submitting this gem amidst the more horrific, and often outright pornographic, submissions for the holiday contest. I'm afraid that it probably won't do as well as the writing and the story deserve but I hope that it does well.

Thanks for sharing a good read!

I enjoyed reading your story.

Thank you.

Im sorry to say that the only part of the story I found interesting was your updating the genie contract and stipulation of the genies release. Everything else had no build up, no... well... anything.

You wrote what you wrote pretty well, but the story just was... not there in the slightest. Honestly, I'm sorry if I'm coming off as an ass saying that, but well its just that I don't see any quality in the story, the writing was done well, but if theres nothing to write about....

still 3/5 for the interesting genie idea and writing ability.

I really enjoyed this story. The one thing I had trouble with was when the metal seal of the bottle started desolving to reveal the glass. Was there an edit there? It seemed a bit choppy and I had to go back and reread that portion.

The rest was great fun. The updated contract; The genie helping him choose wisely; The friend who doesn't dismiss him as a loonie; The discovery of a romantic interest he didn't know he had; and in the end the choice not to take ANY wish at all; And every thing put together in a short tight two pager that works. WOW

A nice little story, quite a twist on the usual genie theme, and a reminder that sometimes we might just be overlooking that that thing or person that can bring happiness.

I have just read the most delightful story. Just plain good story telling. Thanks for sharing!!!!

This story is absolutely wonderful and beautiful in so many ways. I expected tricks and some sneakiness from the genie or Hermione at the very least, but nothing happened. Instead I was treated to an absolutely pure and touching story of how two people fell in love.

The writing style is excellent and the characters are very real and believable. You've done wonders in providing the little background information that makes this story glitter.

You've done an absolutely incredible job with this and if there was a poll for who would win this competition, consider this post a vote.

What a great read! Short and sweet and quite well written. I loved the updated contract and the genie pointing out how wishes can go so wrong. And when Hermione smiled with enjoyment, I smiled too because her reaction is how I felt. Nice!

I'm glad other readers enjoyed this. Not the typical story for the genie category. It's like winning the lottery and saying "no thanks, I'm good."

A very sweet and direct little romance, succinctly told with a satisfying little twist at the end. Good job!

Excellent reinterpretation of a trad story.

Very nice. Thank you.

Thanks, Ogg

HP

Sometimes it finds you.

Sometimes it's so close at hand you don't recognize it.

fwiw, that this Genie story is not the traditional format is what I Like.

Thanks ob

Feels contrived and artificial—to me, anyway. The point is good, the writing isn't badly done, but the whole story just feels like a setup. Not up to your usual, not even nearly, IMO.

i LOVE FINDING AN INTERESTING UNIQUE STORY. THANKS FOR SHARING IT WITH THOSE OF US WHO ONLY READ.

Thanks for sharing this cute story.

Wow, this could have been much longer! What am amazing story! This is up there in the top five all best stories on this site, in my opinion, wish I could come across more like this one!