Getting It Back

"Yes," I said. "I need the transfer immediately or I will go to another hospital today after I file a harassment complaint against him. I know I'm only a nurse and he's an important surgeon, so I think the administration might want to take care of him. But I will not spend one more minute near him at my place of work."

Susan hesitated for a moment. "Brittney, I can't go into too much detail now, but suffice to say this is not the first issue with Dr. Sanders. Promise me after we deal with him, you will be open to go back to your department."

I said I would, so she told me to take Monday and Tuesday off. On Wednesday she would have a new assignment for me. I felt like even a bigger fool. I might have thrown my marriage away, because I fell for this seducer's line of BS. I thanked her and called my Mom to continue with a plan to get my husband back.

Two weeks later and I still hadn't talked to Tom. The last two Saturday's he picked up the kids and had them spend the night with him. I was home Sunday afternoon waiting for him to bring them there. He still wouldn't talk to me and I couldn't explain if he just ignores me. I saw his car coming down the street so I ran outside to talk to him. I was so desperate; he had to let me talk. I went to bed every night crying myself to sleep without any hope for our marriage. The kids didn't understand why they only saw their Dad on the weekends.

After Tom got the kids out of his car, I sent them inside and grabbed Tom's arm desperately. "Tom, please talk to me. I haven't been as bad as you think, but I have been bad. I need to be totally truthful with you about the last four months. If you still want to divorce me, I won't like it, but I'll have to deal with it. I love you Tom, and I know what a fool I've been. Please let me explain."

"I agree Britt, we can't go on like this. I'll be by tonight at nine after the kids are in bed and we can talk."

At nine o'clock on the dot Tom walked in the door, went to the kitchen to get a coke and sat down with me in the living room.

"Britt," he started, "I know you want to talk to me, but I have a few questions for you first. I need the truth tonight or I'll file divorce papers immediately. First off, are you still seeing your boyfriend?"

"No, I have not seen or spoken to him since the gala. I told him that night never to speak to me again. I also talked to HR the following Monday and demanded to be reassigned to a different department. So, I don't work with him anymore. By the way, this past Friday he was asked to resign and leave immediately, I'm not the first person to be seduced by him at work."

"Ok Britt, I'll let you talk. I want you to tell me why you betrayed your husband and family. Then how you expect me to ever trust you again?"

"You have to understand that I love you and my children above all else. I'm going to start at the beginning of my stupidity over the last four months. This is going to be humiliating, but I won't hold anything back."

So, I told Tom about the whole sordid affair. I started at the first flirtations all the way up to the night of the gala. It made me sad to tell him about my loss of respect for him and my own egotistical view of myself. My mother stressed to me to be completely honest or I have no chance of reconciliation. I concluded by telling him I've seen a counselor twice already to help me understand how I could have gotten to that point. I also stress that there was absolutely no physical relationship until I danced with him at the gala. No matter what he thinks, that is the truth.

I tried to explain, "you see Tom, all my life I've been treated differently because of my looks. It took months, but he finally got me believing I was special again. I admit I was thinking of going to bed with him, but as always, you're the one that grounded me. When you left that night without me, it was like a bolt of lightning hit me. With Jane's help, I realized I was the one who was lucky to have you, not the other way around. Please," I started sobbing, "give me another chance."

"Let me think on this Britt. You've laid a lot on me tonight. I didn't expect you to be so truthful, and I need some time to process all of it."

With that Tom was up and out the door. No kiss. No hug. Nothing. Now I guess I just had to wait.

TOM

It was Thursday and I still wasn't sure what to do? Sunday night Britt laid it all out for me. I'm glad she had never slept with the guy, but was that enough? Can I believe her. She had spent four months saying and doing things that would never pass any husband test. And the level of disrespect she had shown towards me and our marriage? I'm a very stubborn man with a terrible temper. I've been boxing again to relieve some of my anger and heartbreak. I've never imagined myself, forgiving any level of infidelity, but was I willing to lose my children and my life by being stubborn. Maybe the hardest part was my own terrible temper. When I get angry, it sort of blinds me to see things clearly and puts me in a rage. I had to channel that anger to not do what's best for my ego, but what's best for my children and family. If only I could trust Britt again, it would ease my mind and help me make a decision. I needed help and I didn't know where to turn.

Those were my thoughts as I got one of the biggest surprises of my life. Probably the last person I ever expected to see walked into my office. My mother-in-law.

"Tom, I'm sorry, no, I'm not sorry to barge in on you at work. I need to talk to you to clear the air and help you. I don't want you to make a decision that could destroy your life, as well as your family's."

I was stunned, "Jean, I know how you feel about me. Why do you care whether we stay together?"

"No, you've got it all wrong. I told Dave and Brittney you're the best thing to ever happen to our family, and I meant it! I admit I had my doubts about you, but that's in the past. You've made my daughter a better person. Why she acted as she did? I'll tell you. She was a narcissistic bitch until she married you. You made her see that having a normal loving relationship and a family could make her happy. All the guys she dated before you were awful for her. All they were interested in was a fast lifestyle with a hot model on their arm. She finally saw what real living is all about. Somehow during these last months, she reverted back to that person. I guess the smooth-talking doctor had something to do with it, but he wasn't the whole problem. All people get bored to some extent after they've been married for a while. When you look like Brittney and you've had people fawning over you for years, if you get bored and someone pushes the right buttons, I's not too hard to lose your way. As always, you made her realize what was happening and what she could lose before it was too late. If you leave her now, you'll destroy her and a beautiful family. You don't have to do this."

"Jean, how do I trust her going forward. I don't want to live in a relationship where I always wonder what's up with her. Is she faithful? Is she bored with me or us?"

"No Tom, there's no guarantees about anything in a marriage. But she's been to a counselor to understand why she did this damage to her marriage. Now she also understands what she has to lose, namely you. I don't think she would ever do anything like this again. But that's not the only reason I'm here. Dave and I value you as a family member. You've given us a daughter we can be proud of. Two beautiful grandchildren, and I don't want to lose any of that. Plus, we really appreciate how important you are in our lives. None of this happens without you. And we understand how you walked away from Brittney, frightened her, and protected her from herself. Not many men could do that. I'm begging you Tom. Forgive my daughter. Give her a chance to make this right. I don't want to lose you or my family."

"I don't want to lose my family either Jean. I've been thinking, how do I get past my male pride and anger. But you've made me understand I have to, to be happy again in my marriage. I know now I need to go home and rebuild. I won't be easy on her. I'm going to let her know I won't put up with her again. If she goes back to the disrespectful or demeaning person she became, we're thru."

Jean came to me and gave me a warm hug while crying. I knew I couldn't let her or my family down.

EPILOGUE

TOM

It's been four years since Jean came to my office that day. I went home and told Britt I was moving home that night. I told her in no uncertain terms I would never put up with her bullshit again. I had never been as forceful with Britt as I was that night, maybe that was part of the problem. She probably needs a stronger personality from a husband. At least someone to be more direct with her than I've been. Well, she knows now I won't stand for any disrespect. And I haven't had to. Our marriage and family have never been better. She cut back on her hours at work and devotes more time to her family.

When we need time to ourselves, Jean and Dave have been great about taking our children for a night, a weekend, or even a week when we went on a cruise last year. I can't thank Jean enough for all she did for us. Also, Dave and I have grown much closer. I know I made the right decision for myself and my family.

BRITTNEY

People say being beautiful makes life easier. That's sometimes true. Others want to be with you. They tell you how good you look; they sometimes fawn over you. It's easier to get dates, have boyfriends, and be taken nice places all the time. They want to buy you things, ingratiate to you constantly. And that's not just guys either. Don't kid yourself. Women like to hang out with beautiful women. It makes them feel more important, like they're with the "in crown."

The problem is, it truly effects the beautiful person. The ego eventually gets blown out of proportion. You honestly start to believe it's all true. You're better than other people. That was me till something happened when I was twenty-five. I was dating this super wealthy jet-setter for a while. He was fun, extravagant, and made me feel like hot shit. Well, we were at some club and I ran into a guy friend of mine. He was a photographer I knew from the fashion industry, and a really nice person. I talked with him for about twenty minutes till my date's bodyguard came up and told him he had to leave. When he hesitated, the bodyguard grabbed him, along with a bouncer from the club, and manhandled my friend out of there. I don't know if they hurt him or not. I confronted my date. He told me his women don't talk to other guys when they're with him. That scared the hell out of me. I was just told I was his property. I ran out of there and grabbed a taxi back to my apartment in New York. I got boxes, as well as my suitcases, and stayed up all night packing my things. I made arrangements to ship what I had to, took my suitcases to the airport and caught the next flight home. I never told my parents the truth. I told them I finally burnt out of the modeling business. Truth is, I realized what I had become, and my values were all messed up. I had to get some evenness back in my life and find a better purpose. I was afraid of the alternative. That night at the club was a life changing event for me, but I'm glad now it happened before it was too late.

I thank God every day that Tom left the gala that night, and Jane straightened me out. If Tom hadn't left or Jane hadn't confronted me, I would have blown my marriage to bits. With help from my Mom, Jane and a counselor at the hospital, I'm finally on the right track. I now put my children and husband first. My life is so good. My children are wonderful and I feel like Tom and I are on our honeymoon every day. I never want it to end.

Oh, by the way, Jane and I are as close as can be again, and every time I see her, I hug her and say thank you.