All Comments on 'Ghost'

I can see trying to reconnect with the daughters. The older one would be more difficult as at that age she really knows what's going one in the world so it was a well thought out decision to accept what the mother was doing. But they are very young. The wife, however, no way. Let her cry all she wants but you can't change time. Maybe I would forgive if it helps my well being but since I could never forget living with me would be hell. She would be better off without me.

As such these sites should have two rating systems. One on how well was the story written, spelling, grammar, structure and how well was it told.

The second one could be along the line of 'Did you like or not like the context of the story?'

This was a very well written story, but way to much going on and on about crying and 'I'm sorry'. Was it a believable story? Yes actually.

I love most of your stories but this one did not fit the title. He wasn't much of a ghost to get found after 5 years and apparently had no escape plan and just gave in after 10 minutes of talking.

A true illusionary fairytale. Men do not act like bi-polar menopausal women. We are VERY linear and reactionary. I should know, I'm married to a bitch that married me for money, to get her out of a bad single parent 11 kids home and because the guy she loved was engaged to another girl he'd knocked up.

I read this story all the way through, shaking my freaking head, knowing that men DON'T think that way. BTW - Malignant Ghost? More like Casper the friendly kids cartoon.

Too bad. You are normally a great author Randi.

Feedback Randi as always your writing and grammar were spot on, story wise the problem I have is the Mc is obviously screwed up by the betrayal. Yet he is treated though it is his fault that he is treating the family coldly or has bouts of anger with how they treated him. They repeatedly are coaxing him and forceing him further rather than him choosing to forgive. It makes the reconciliation feel not as authentic and more like a manipulation . Events such as I believe it was page 4 or 5 on lit where they’re mad and berate him for acting coldly towards his mom he just comes off as weak when he caves. instead Maybe in response to his tirade a “ we’re sorry son we know we hurt you badly , “ followed by a “ it hurts to much to see how much we hurt you and the anger you have towards us “ then the Mc making a “ sorry I shouldn’t have lost my temper…” would have accomplished the same message while conserving characters freedom of choice. My gut feeling is you wanted this to have that genuine reconciliation feeling. Again i think the large concepts and morals are spot on it’s just small parts of the exchanges that are holding this story back

I agree 100% with the Anonymous commenter from 7 months with the looong post beginning with "I do not understand commenters who say he had no other choice."

And yes the MC's mother is the true villain in this story and cannot understand reconciling with his mother who was indeed the "snake in the garden". And yes running away, ghosting his entire family and leaving them impoverished was sick. He either went insane from the betrayal (in which case he needs therapy and maybe some meds) or he is just a sh$tty selfish father. Fine. Divorce Gwen. But don't abandon your kids and leave them in the poor house. I am a father and that is beyond reprehensible and cowardly. In the end his daughters(s) saved him. He was a lonely man, cast adrift and in pain. As far as rhe reconciliation goes with Gwen, it seemed feartflet and honest. She owned up to what she did, and became penitent, not just merely remorseful. And he was an idiot to leave his family completely alone while he was away for many months earning money he didn’t absolutely need. Sh$tty father and uncaring husband. Way to "love, honor, and cherish" MC! Not to mention cutting out of his kids' lives. His mother is just the worst. Wow.

Randi, you are a good writer. You got the readers to feel all the emotions along with the MC. We felt right that he HAD to vanish in thin air. (Though I didn't think much of him for leaving his kids destitute. It was their mother's fault. The kids were too young to think for themselves. He, being an adult, should have understood that. He could have put enough money in a trust to pay for their education and pocket money). Having come this far with you, and feeling the same hatred for Gwen as the MC, when he was cajoled by Allie into going over and talking with Gwen, I was wondering would it be possible for Caine to bring up any feelings for her? But you did it perfectly. You brought back the early days of their lives, their meeting on the campus, what he felt about her, their courtship, first sex, etc. All this brought the reader back to sympathise a little with Gwen . The idea crept up that there maybe a possibility of reconciliation. Then you brought the girls telling him how much she had sacrificed, how much she had changed, no dates, not interested in men, etc. Finally her true and sincere repentance, sobbing all the time. All this made the reader think that any more punishment is too much and

reconciliation is probably the best way.

One of your best. Thoroughly enjoyed it!

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Didn’t quite understand how it ended…..they never divorced, but it took 3 years to renew their vows? As written, they seemed to have gotten at least to th3 point of mutually acknowledging that they still over each other. Heck, they were fucking again already! Your story said that “it took a while” — but why it took so long wasn’t even hinted at, much less described.

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Finally….while Gwen was a fool, his parents were just nasty. Just holy crap!

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5 *****

So, the older daughter's name?

Allie, Allison, Allicent.

Odd.

This was an odd one. Not bad, just...odd.

I’m sorry but I’m a daughter and was caught up in something similar I think the dad in this story the minute the daughter and future husband turned up should have told the future husband he’s making huge mistake marrying his daughter and high tail it out of there change his name and live off the grid screw them for life

Good stories make you feel good. Great stories make you feel a uncomfortable, and they make you think. This was a great story.