by PAhorny
Loved this first chapter, can't wait to read more of this story.
Your writing is okay but you need someone to proofread for you. Also an ampersand (&) is not a substitute for every use of the word "and"! That's really annoying. It just tells your reader that you're lazy.
This story shows good effort with having the two high school girlfriends striking up acquaintance after many years but really seems too contrived and predictable. Build up the nonsexual aspects of the women's characters/personalities, and they will be a lot more believable when they go into sex.
I throw my two cents in about the use of the ampersand, not for the laziness aspect but just that it isn't used that much (outside of, maybe, text messages). Say "and."
Wonderful start. I hope you will write the next chapter to it soon. It has been too long since this chapter. I loved reading it.