All Comments on 'Gifted'

Excellent, beautifully written.

Without wishing to be picky, hordes and hoards are homophones and you used the wrong one.

A good read but stopped too soon. Please continue into the next chapter

I absolutely need more of this couple. Great story, 5/5

Loved it.. The dance Caleb and Jaz went through to finally understand one another was well written

I really liked this story. Despite the mistakes here & there the characters, build up were excellent. I like slow burn love stories. Especially when it's all in one piece not split up.

Solid story. It was a bit disjointed the first 2/3 of the story, forcing us readers to have to try and guess why the characters were doing what they were doing - at least for me. Once the mental and physical "barriers" started to fall your narrative had a more natural flow to it. It would be good to know more background for the two as well. What are their ages? What does Jaz do for work? So many missing pieces means I need to fill them in myself, if that makes sense? 4*

Google "intact hymen", then look at the images.

The story was fine until I had to read another person doing it wrong.

Of course, that is besides the many errors a simple read through would have caught.

Of course, I already know you dislike constructive criticism, but that's why I'm doing it.

More!

A very nice story

Brilliant story -- big shame about the very abrupt ending. Just one more paragraph would have gotten you an easy 5*

I liked the story, but it is unfinished. Please write the rest of it.

Interesting storyline that worked. I enjoyed it but you really need a proofreader to correct errors. I noticed about 10 but did not make a list of them.

Good start, now finish the damn story. Lots of holes, she had her own apartment, where does Jaz work? Where are their parents, another town, country, what? What happens next? You really left your readers hanging.

More!

Adorable & well written.

Nicely done. I disagree with those who say it's unfinished or needs another paragraph. It ended with a mutual orgasm... if the below readers don't know what the aftermath is when two lovers finally culminate their love,,, that's a shame.

Beautifully written! Ignore the negative comments.

I love how their story unfolded. The intimacy, the emotion... It was incredible!

Brilliant!!

I would like to say I don't understand why it's not rated higher, but I have to admit that many of the other commenters are correct. It needs a good proofread, and also a bit more prolonged ending (don't think the ending is a problem if you plan to continue the series though, but if that's the case, it may help to label this as chapter 1). The emotional ambience that you created is profound, better than some of the longer stories on here, and I think many would like if you continued developing it.

I loved it and looking forward to more of this story. Please keep the story going.

Seems incomplete it was good! Need part 2 please!

Awesome

I liked the story a lot

We need more! I need to read about them actually being and staying together. It was so sexy, hot, and romantic then deciding they were going to make sure he was her first and last. Now I want to read about that happening. Please give us more!

We need more! I loved that they decided he was going to be her first and last but desperately need to read about that happening. So please give us a part 2 where we can read about them being in a romantic relationship together long term, maybe even moving somewhere and exchanging rings and living as husband and wife. So please give us a full conclusion with a happily ever after for them!

please continue

Although kind of predictable, it was a wonderful ride. I would love to read more about these two.

I'm terrible sorry for putting this here but, I just had to ask.

Is there going to be a part 3 for shivers?

I'm sorry again for putting it here but, it's your fault for making it too good and have a cliff hanger in the end! lol

Anon - I am working on a Part 3 for Shivers. By which I mean, I have a draft that I've written, torn up, and rewritten a half-dozen times. But... It is coming. Just a lot slower than my characters tend to. (Meantime - you should see a couple other pieces from me appear in the next couple weeks.)

Great premise.

But typos and wrong words are really annoying. For example:

You wrote HOARDS (like hoarding food) when you meant HORDES,

You wrote ME when you meant MY.

Good story.

Needed more in the way of foreplay. Her tits. Her ass. Her pussy. His cock. His balls.

Slow teasing would be good. Playing with his cock while she described her fantasies about it, getting him closer and closer to cumming, but not letting him -- perhaps because wanted him to cum in her mouth.

Describing the scenes she's seen in the porn videos she's watched and asking if that's what guys really like, etc.

Four stars.

Sorry, this did not work for me at all despite the fact that you are a good writer. You lost me completely on Day Two. Her apartment burned down with all of her possessions in it. And, unless it was somehow a stand alone, every other place was affected... smoke, water damage. She would be dealing with the authorities, fire, cops, insurance, her life.

She lost her driver's license, her ID, her credit and bank cards. People don't act like this after a major life tragedy. I simply does not happen this way. Sorry, only one star from me.

I like the story. Lots of people seem to havw issues with the character reactions however no two peoppe ever react the same to life altering events.

I hope you continue the story.

Hands Down, the best Ove personally read on this site and genre.. This , more than anything else, is art. you have masted the skill of telling a compelling tale. you story flow is perfect, uour attention to detail and scene descriptions are sublime

Dialogue, well now...again, you are a very talented penman. Do not ever stop writing. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of your work.

Yes you do get it in this story, incest does not share, it is too special, it is too intense, it too loving.

Jesus mate, 5/5.

I feel this is an unfinished story, especially the way it ended. If there is more, then more please.

Just fantastic!!!!!

I’ll ask, is there another chapter or more for these two. I hope the answer is yes as you ended leaving us high and dry.

I liked it a lot too. It deserves better ratings. But ratings don't always do justice as we all should know. IT'S A GOOD STORY WITH CHARACTERS HAVING THEIR OWN KIND OF REACTIONS.

She's a real woman not a shaved bare asshole that wants to look like a six year old girl. 5 stars

I feel like tiny Tim begging may I have some more please. Chapters, chapters, everybody scream with me. More, more, more!

Love the story. Is there anymore chapters ? AAAAAA++++++

Very nice!!!!

Stupid story with a bitchy sister and a wimp brother

Part 2?

Loved it.

Please do more, very well written it's great

An excellent story which deserves to be continued. Very many thanks for a well written and compelling piece of erotic fiction. Well worth all five stars, more if they were available.

WOW, you have an excellent story.

Excellent stories just too short

please continue

Would love a part 2

Not bad, a little weird. And speaking of weird: “whilst” ? ? ?

bruh who tf doesn't know whislt is a word?

Good story, but it doesnt really have an ending, it simply stops. It has potential to be a great story, but it needs more for it to be live up to its potential. Either a part 2, or just a few. more pages to delve into their relationship after their first time together.