Ginger or Marianne?

"You mentioned you don't really date much," Shawn said at one point. "Have you just not met anyone you like?"

The effects of the alcohol were long gone, but Farah still said something that really surprised her in answer to his question.

"Not until just recently."

Shawn did another head tilt along with the raised eyebrow.

"Do tell," he replied.

"I don't really understand it myself, but I...I think I really like being with you," she told him.

"Yeah?"

"Uh-huh," she replied with a sweet smile.

"I can't tell you how happy that makes me," Shawn told her.

He almost always smiled, but this time, his voice was calm, sincere, and quiet.

She hated bringing up the age thing, but a part of her had to know. She was hoping against hope he was at least close to 30, but something told her not to get those hopes up too high.

"Shawn? May I ask you..."

The pained look on her face told him the question.

"How old I am?"

"Do you mind?" she asked with a little wince.

"I'll be 25 in January."

The wince in her face disappeared and a blank stare replaced it.

"You okay?" he asked when she neither spoke nor moved.

"I'm...I'm not sure," she quietly replied.

"Is that a problem?"

"I...I want to say 'no', but I...I'm still trying to wrap my mind around what you just said."

"It doesn't change the way I feel about you, Farah," he told her just as sincerely as before.

"Don't you want to know my age?" she asked, feeling almost sick to her stomach.

"Eventually, yes. But it won't change anything," he replied, the sincerity still there.

"So...even if I told you I was say...40...you wouldn't care?" Farah asked, the incredulity in her voice now obvious.

"You're not 40, so that's a moot point," he told her, the smile back on his handsome face.

"No. I'm not 40," she quietly replied. "But I will be before you're 30."

"Okay. So?" he said.

"So? That's all you can say is...so?"

She wasn't being mean or accusatory, she just couldn't imagine it wasn't a huge issue to him.

"It seemed nicer than 'so what'?" he replied with a laugh.

"Shawn! Be serious!"

"I am."

"No. No, you're not. You're not even thinking rationally!"

"I assure you I am," he said with a serious tone that was clearly playful.

"I'll be 38. In January," she finally admitted.

"What day?" he asked so cheerfully it surprised her.

"What day? You only want to know what day?"

"Yeah. What else matters?" he asked as though it was obvious nothing else did.

"The 21st."

"No way!" he said, suddenly very excited. "That's my birthday, too!"

"What? Are you serious?" Farah replied, briefing forgetting about her age-related anxieties.

Shawn stood up, pulled his wallet out, then walked over to where she was sitting and plopped down beside her. He produced his driver's license and told her to look for herself.

She looked at him then at the license then back at him before he pushed it closer and told her to go ahead.

She closed her eyes then opened one and peeked.

"January 21st, 19..."

She looked over at him, her eyes wide with shock and finished saying the year.

"Ninety...five."

He had to remove the license from her hand because she couldn't believe what she'd just seen.

"Yes. I was born in 1995," Shawn said as though it was just any old number.

"So...I became a teenager the day you were born," she replied as she continued staring straight ahead.

Thinking it would be funny, Shawn turned toward her and said, "Wow. That means you'll turn 40 a LOT sooner than I'll turn 30!"

She turned to look at him, pulled her head back a little, then said, "NOT funny!"

"It's...kinda funny," he told her with a little shrug of his shoulders and a silly little grin.

"Okay, now you're just being mean!" she told him as he continued smiling at him.

"Wow," Shawn said.

"Wow? Wow...what?"

"You're just as beautiful when you're upset as you are when you're happy."

He sat there smiling as she shook her head and said, "Unbelievable."

"You really are," he replied quietly.

"Shawn, be serious!" she told him.

"I am. I'm very serious."

He moved even closer then reached up and brushed her dark hair back.

"What...what are you doing?" she asked as though she had no idea.

"I'm going to kiss you again," he told her so matter of factly it made her want to laugh.

"You'll do no such..."

When his lips met hers, she quietly said, "Thing," before realizing she wasn't going to be able to keep up the facade any longer.

She tried to resist for a couple of seconds, but age difference or not, he was SO good looking, and just as nice, and her body ached for the touch of a man. She gave in and kissed him back, and when she did, he pulled her close and kissed her like she hadn't experienced since Ben.

"See," he quietly said when the kiss ended.

"See what?" she asked, her heart racing.

"I'm all grown up now."

She still wanted to be mad or whatever it was she'd been trying to feel, but as he sat there just inches away looking at her, and smiling like that, Farah knew it was 'game over'.

"So you don't care that my driver's license says January 21st, 19...82?" she asked, her eyes hopeful and darting with his.

"No. Not at all," he told her before leaning over and kissing her again.

As badly as she wanted him, she hadn't been with a man since Ben, and before him, there'd only ever been one other. She was 37 years old, but in terms of 'worldly experience', she was sure Shawn was the far more experienced between them.

The first time she let a boy 'feel her up', she remembered wanting to put his hand there when he was too shy to do it, so she'd done it for him. For some reason, the thought occurred to her that she could do that again now, and that thought excited her almost as much as it had all those many years before.

Farah moaned softly when he squeezed the mound of flesh.

"That feels so good," she told him as she put her hand on his as he began gently kneading her breast.

French kissing added another layer of excitement, and although she was now extremely wet, Farah was unaware of that fact. For her, she was reliving—or maybe living for the first time—all these things she hadn't done in so very long. But when she realized she might be sending the wrong impression, she nearly panicked.

"Shawn?" she said as she moved away a little.

"Too much too soon?" he politely asked.

"Is that okay?"

"Hey. Anything is okay, Farah. We'll go at your speed and only when you're ready."

The way he spoke as well as the way he was looking at her, moved her to the point of making her want to give herself to him then and there. But it was still too early, and she just wasn't ready.

"That's the second time tonight you've made feel like the younger person," she told him quietly and very sweetly.

"Oh?"

"The other was during dinner when you were explain the various...control things...on an airplane. You know, like the rudder and the alarron thingies and what not."

He didn't even smile at her mispronunciation. He didn't care what she knew about flight controls or anything else aviation related. He just knew he was falling in love with this beautiful, older woman—his Marianne.

"I should probably be going," he quietly replied in order to give her an out.

Farah knew she was the reason he said that, but she also knew he said it because he respected her, and that, along with so many other things, made her look at him very differently from that moment on.

"I...I hope I'm not sending mixed messages," she told him almost apologetically.

"You're not. You need time, and we can take as much of it as you need, okay?"

She smiled at him then said, "Thank you. And thank you for the most wonderful evening I've had since..."

"Since coming to hear us play?" Shawn teased.

Farah smiled again then said, "Yes."

"I had a really nice time, too," he let her know before standing up and offering her a hand which she accepted.

Farah walked him to the door but wasn't sure what to do.

"Goodnight, beautiful," Shawn told her before softly kissing her one more time.

"G'night," she nearly whispered back as she pulled him in for one more quick kiss.

"I'll text you soon, okay?"

"Yes. Please."

As he walked out, she couldn't help but wonder if he would. She hadn't really dated in a dozen years or so, and now that she was relatively okay with the actual age difference, she wondered if her junior-high 'love antics' might have sent some kind of signal worse than 'mixed messages'.

But before she could walk back to the kitchen, she got a text from Shawn who was in his car in the driveway.

"You are an amazing and remarkable woman, Farah Walker, and I can't wait to see you again."

She smiled happily and felt so good her feet did a kind of happy dance as she typed a reply.

"I feel the same way about you, Shawn Baker, and I can't wait to see you again, either."

She thought for a moment, smiled, then added, "Love, Farah."

She got an immediate reply which was just a little heart emoji, but it was all she needed to keep her feeling of being on top of the world alive.

Farah was still smiling when she laid down, and the last thing she remembered before falling asleep was the way she felt whenever she was with the handsome, younger man she thought she might possibly be falling in love with. It was ridiculously early, but she didn't care, because it had been so long since she'd felt this way, all she wanted was to savor the feeling for a little while longer.

The next morning, she woke up still smiling, but by the time she finished drinking a first cup of coffee, Farah knew she needed to talk to the one person she trusted more than Traci.

"Mom? Hi. Can I stop over for lunch today?"

"You know you don't have to ask, sweetheart. Just come over."

Her mom hesitated then said, "Is something wrong?"

"I just need a sanity check," she told her mother using a phrase her father had often thrown around and still used every now and then.

Her mom laughed then said, "I can do that, honey. See you soon."

When she arrived at her parents' home, her dad was at work, and her mom had lunch waiting.

"So what's this sanity check for?" her mother, Violet, asked. "Would it have anything to do with a man?"

Farah wasn't surprised. Her mom knew her better than anyone to include Traci.

"I'd ask how you do that, but it wouldn't matter," her daughter replied.

Violet laughed then asked her to start talking.

"You know Traci's set me up a couple of times, right?"

"Oh, yes. I believe you told me in no uncertain terms about the dates you called 'unmitigated disasters'," her mom said with a laugh.

"Right. The 'I love me' fests," Farah said, laughing, too.

"So this one must be different," her mom observed.

"Oh, you can say that again!"

Her mom was tempted to actually say it again but didn't.

"In a good way or a bad way?"

Farah sighed then said, more asking than saying, "Both?"

"Uh-huh?"

"Well, I haven't even liked anyone since Ben, and that's not news."

"No. No, it isn't. We loved him, too, honey. And your father and I miss him terribly."

"I know, Mom. He was kind of like the son you never had."

Farah smiled then said, "The son who...married your daughter."

Her mom laughed but didn't comment on the quasi-incestual aspect of her daughter's humorous comment.

"He's the first guy I've really liked, Mom. He's incredibly smart. He's a very talented musician. He's kind, he's thoughtful, and...he's gorgeous."

"And?" her mother insightfully asked.

"And...he's...he's younger than me."

"I see."

Farah knew that meant, "Tell me how much younger," and she didn't need to ask her mom to be more specific.

"A...lot...younger."

"Oh."

"As in..."

Farah suddenly couldn't get the words out, so she said something else that was related but not the answer.

"He's finishing a master's degree in engineering."

"So he's over 21?" her mom said, surprising her daughter.

"What? Yes. He's over 21, Mom."

"But I take he's under...31."

Farah looked at her mom, made a little bit of a face, then said, "Quite a bit under."

Violet surprised her daughter again when she asked, "How does he make you feel when you're with him?"

"Like...Ben did."

"Do you get the impression he's using you for any reason?" her mom asked. It wasn't accusatory. It was just an honest inquiry.

"No. Not at all. I mean, it's not like I'm wealthy or anything."

Her mother laughed and told her that was true, also in a very non-judgmental way.

"From what you've said, he's everything you described: smart, caring, and everything else."

"But?" Farah asked, expecting the other shoe to drop.

"No buts. You just have to decide how young is too young. For you."

"We have the same birthday," Farah told her mom.

"Just very different years, right?" her mom said with a warm smile.

"As in 1982 vs...19...ninety...five."

"Nineteen ninety-five. Hmmm."

"I know! Mom, what am I going to do?" Farah almost pleaded.

"Honey, I can't decide that for you."

"I know. I'm just so...torn."

"If he was say...34 instead of 24...all other things being equal, would you..."

"I'd be all over him. Sorry. It," her daughter said as they both laughed.

"Speaking of sex," her mom said, again surprising her daughter.

"We haven't," Farah replied immediately.

Her mom laughed then said, "That's not where I was going, but I'm glad to know that."

She smiled then continued talking.

"I'm just thinking about children. You've always wanted them, but they never came along. Does this young man who's name I still don't even know want them?"

"It's Shawn. Shawn Baker. And I don't actually know the answer to that question."

"Well, that's extremely important. He's clearly motivated, and with that kind of degree, he'll easily be able to support a family. Are there any other differences...other than age? Politics? Religion? Money?"

Farah didn't know the answer to those, either.

"I feel a little silly now," she told her mom. "I'm asking for advice, and I really don't know that much about him."

"You know you're attracted to him. You know he makes you feel special. You know he'll be a good provider. You said he's a talented musician. And so far, there's nothing about him you don't like. You just need to work through the age difference. So learn as much as you can while you do then trust your judgment. You're a smart girl, Farah. You hit a home run with Ben, and I can't see you striking out with anyone. So go slow and enjoy the time you spend with him. If it doesn't work out, you'll have had a lot of good times together, and then you can move on, right?"

Farah finally smiled then told her mom, "That is exactly what I needed to hear, Mom."

They ate lunch together, talked for another hour or so, then hugged each other goodbye, and as always, said 'I love you'. By the time she got home, Farah realized she had nothing to worry about. There was a lot to learn about Shawn, and there was plenty of time to learn it, and her mother was right. Even if it didn't work out, it could be a very pleasant experience dating someone so much younger than her.

Farah texted Shawn later that afternoon and told him about talking with her mom. He replied almost immediately.

"I had another talk with my dad, too. Great minds, right?"

He put a couple of smiley faces after that then continued.

"So what kind of advice did you get?"

Farah smiled then told him, "Very good advice."

"I hope it wasn't, 'Run, Forest, Run'!"

She laughed then told him 'not at all'.

"In fact, I was kind of hoping we might be able to spend some more time together."

Shawn smiled when he read that then wrote, "I really like your mom!"

Farah laughed a happy laugh then told him she did, too.

"I'm on a break at the restaurant, and I have at least three hours of studying to do, but we could get together around nine or so if that works."

"Nine sounds great!" she replied.

"Your place, mine, or somewhere neutral? Warning: my place is a typical bachelor pad. It's clean, but that's about the best I can say."

Farah laughed again then typed, "I'll pass on your place—for now. So maybe mine?"

"I'll be there!" Shawn wrote.

"K. See you then!"

"You will, and I can't wait!"

The happy feeling she'd experienced before came back, and after the talk with her mom, she felt very good about the way things were going. Then, just like clockwork, Traci called.

"So...what's the latest?" she asked.

"About?"

"Oh, please! You know better!" her friend replied.

"Oh. That."

"Yes. That. Or rather—him."

"Well, he's coming over tonight."

"Uh-huh."

"That's it."

"You do remember what said about the third date, right?" Traci told her.

"This isn't a date," Farah firmly reminded her.

"Oh, okay. If you say so."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, nothing. Nothing at all," Traci said in that sing-song voice that drove Farah crazy.

"Well, nothing—at all—is what's going to happen, okay?"

"Okay. If you say so."

Farah wanted to be upset, but there was a part of her—a growing part—that couldn't be because it wasn't so sure 'nothing' would be the only thing going on.

"I'm a big girl, okay?" Farah replied.

She could tell Traci was smiling as she said, "I know, but...don't say 'no' just because he's, you know..."

Farah opened up and told her best friend everything from his age to their dinner date to her conversation with her mother, and her...growing interests.

"Farah? If he was goofy, flighty, lazy, or mean, it wouldn't matter how cute he was. But he's none of those things and he's freaking gorgeous!"

"Yes. Yes, he is," her friend replied, her voice trailing off as she spoke.

"All I want is for my best friend to be happy again. You've been through so much, and Shawn seems like such a great guy."

Traci paused then said, "Young but still pretty great."

Again, Farah said, "Yes. Yes, he is."

They chatted for a few more minutes then Traci wished her all the best—no matter what did or didn't happen that evening—and when she hung up, Farah knew that if Shawn wanted her that she'd happily give herself to him, and that thought got her up and looking for something to wear later that evening.

Like her friend, Farah had some off-the-shoulder tops and even a dress like that. But she also knew a lot of guys liked jeans, so she pulled a pair that fit just right and laid them on the bed. The logical choice, at least to her, was something green to go with her eyes, and she had a top she loved but hadn't worn for many months. She laid it next to the jeans and smiled knowing it was a winner.

Around 6 o'clock, she showered then put her hair up in big rollers and did her makeup. With the exception of a band of material around her upper arms, the very light-green knit top left her shoulders and arms bare while tightly clinging to her body as the jeans showed off her butt which still hadn't gotten any bigger since the last time she checked. She placed a pair of pearl earrings in her lobes then added a double-stranded pearl bracelet to her left wrist to complete her look.

Once the rollers came out, even Farah was pleased with the result as her hair looked thicker and shinier than it had in a long time. She added some glossy, copper-colored lipstick and hoped Shawn would like the way she looked as much as she did.

By the time her doorbell rang at ten after nine, Farah's level of anticipation was reaching a fever pitch. When Shawn saw her and just stared again, she knew he approved.

"Wow. Every time I see you you look even more beautiful," he told her as he produced a bouquet of red roses.

Farah was genuinely touched by both his words and his romantic gesture, and after taking them from him, she smiled then kissed him. When she did, he kissed her back, and seconds later the flowers ended up on a coffee table and Farah in his arms while tongues flicked and dance as soft moans and gentle groans were heard.