Girl in a Rock Show

"What?"

"I told you I really, really, really like you, remember. I've never felt like this before and I'm glad I got to be with you. Of course I want to keep seeing you."

I laughed. "I guess I am a dummy."

"Maybe you'll work out how to give me a screaming orgasm?"

I turned and said, "I hope so. I promise you, I'll try my absolute best. It's my mission in life."

She moved to my side and kissed me hard on the mouth, then whispered, "But don't stop there. You've got to promise not to stop when I say when..."

"I promise." I returned her kiss and then we cuddled for a bit longer before half-dressing, discovering it was almost 4:30 a.m. Even now with the stars above, an early bird called out in the darkness, anticipating the rising sun, maybe an hour away or less.

"Come on," she said, taking my hand, our fingers interlocking, "Sun's up soon."

We cuddled on the downstairs lounge, and I kissed Trixie's forehead, and whispered, "I really like you heaps, Trix."

She snuggled against me. "I like you heaps too. I liked you before, but now I really like you heaps more."

Liking each other heaps, my mind revisited the events of the past sixteen or more hours, where our connection formed quickly from the time Trixie first sat next to me in the back of Eric's car, growing intensely throughout the Big Day Out festival, first kissing each other through Grinspoon's set, and again during the Chilli Peppers, to singing and chatting with one another early into the morning, then sharing ourselves with each other, giving ourselves sexually for the first time. And finally, my sleepy mind envisaged a glorious future with Trixie as my incredible, talented, beautiful girlfriend, right before we fell asleep in each other's arms.

~0~

Groggily, we were woken by Miriam at nine, after four-and-a-half hours sleep, sun streaming in through the sliding glazed doors, heating the room and causing us to sweat where our bodies touched. Wearing her sweaty Magic Dirt t-shirt and ripped denim shorts she'd worn to the festival and clearly slept in, Miriam stood by the pool table, rubbing her eyes and stretching, and then smiled when she saw Trixie and me cuddled up on the couch in our sweaty t-shirts and only undies on below. "Morning, Trixie-Trix," she said with a cheeky little grin. "Big night out, eh?"

It was a Monday and Eric needed to head off to work at the restaurant where he was an apprentice chef, for an early afternoon shift, telling us he should chuck a sickie because he felt like shit, but owed his boss. Fortunately he drove us all home. Again Trixie was squashed up against me in the back seat of Eric's Corolla, but this time we held hands, fingers entwined in the tiny gap between our thighs. When we dropped Trixie and Miriam off at their place, Trixie made her hand like a phone, pinkie finger at mouth, thumb at her ear, mouthing the words call me, before exiting the car. We drove off down the street and I looked back to see her wave from her drive way.

I also had to work the late afternoon and evening shift at the local Subway franchise where I worked as a sandwich jockey, and spent the evening with my head feeling munted, suffering a cunt of a headache from dehydration and lack of sleep, plus all my muscles aching from the previous day, despite popping a couple of aspirin, downing them with heaps of water.

Trying to sound cheerful to customers, I was almost asleep on my feet for most of my shift, but despite my discomfort, I spent the entire time thinking about Trixie and our previous day and night together, finding time in my break to send her a message, telling her I liked her heaps and couldn't wait to see her again, asking her if she'd like to hang out the following day, and hoping to organise something over the Australia Day public holiday on Wednesday.

She was quick to respond: My place or yours?

~0~

We were impatient, rampant and ravenous for one another. Our houses were a suburb apart and it took me less than ten minutes to ride my bike to her place, and even much less if I was able to borrow Mum and Dad's car. Trixie and I fucked like rabbits several times a day, all days of the week, trying out every position our inexperienced minds could imagine and learning what got each other off the most.

Everything we did was new to us. I'd kiss her from head to toe, then back again, wanting to taste her entire body, and then she'd do the same to me. She took my cock in her mouth for the first time, sucking me off till I blew, and with a giggle and cum dripping from the corners of her mouth, she looked me in the eyes and swallowed my load.

I licked her out, learning to pleasure her by trial and error. She'd guide me with breathy instructions, such as lighter here, or harder there, our communication deeply sexual, fingers often entwined, and together we'd get her off, moaning and arching her back, her body quivering with pleasure spasms.

It was the Australia Day public holiday on the 26th of January, two days after we lost our virginities, when I first pleasured Trixie to orgasm through penetration. We were lazing about in Trixie's room, where we'd already fucked once in the morning, and were listening to Triple-J radio's Hottest 100, which was the national radio poll for the one-hundred most popular songs of the previous year. We lay in her bed, hanging out, kissing and cuddling, and always caressing and touching, and she leant over me, kissing me deeply, accidently knocking her pussy against my knee. Her eyes opened wide, and I felt her shudder.

"How is that even possible?" she breathed out in wonderment.

"Did you just get off on my knee?"

"I didn't mean to. I don't even know how. It was sooo intense. Must be cos I'm so fucken hot for you or somethin'!"

She kissed me again, and we rolled on another condom. Earlier we'd joked about investing in the condom industry, because we thought were contributing to the manufacturer's profits in a big way. With a couple of pillows at the small of my back, leaning against her bed-head, Trixie slipped her juicy vaginal lips over my hardness, sinking softly around me, joining our bodies with my cock sliding deeply within her.

We started slow, with no intention of achieving anything but connection and mutual pleasure, as I caressed her breasts and arms gently, kissing her sensuously, but soon I found her pleasure points within, again and again, both of us feeling one another with an intensity neither previously knew.

The amazing feeling in the head of my knob rubbing against her inside pleasure points paired with her opening mouth as she quickly began gasping, moaning, but not screaming. Our lips were millimetres apart, occasionally touching, her eyes glassy and locked on mine, and with a trembling whisper she said, "Brett, I'm so freaking close," before I thrust harder into her, feeling her all the way around me, causing her pleasure to reach the point of no return and sending her over the edge, her orgasm coming on strong in waves of glorious pleasure perfection, releasing, twitching and pulsating throughout her entire being, her eyes fluttering centimetres from my own.

At first she rested her lips gently on mine, still breathing through her mouth while the pleasure waves rippled through her, then she kissed me slowly, passionately, wonderfully as I continued to thrust, then also blew in rapture and love.

"You're so wonderful," she said once we were done, flopping onto me, and we held each other tight as she occasionally twitched around me. I kissed her hair and she whispered into my ear, "Can I keep you?"

"Only forever." I meant it too.

~0~

When I wasn't with Trixie, I spent every moment thinking of her, and all the things we could do together, or how I could please her. And when we were together, I spent every moment putting my thoughts into practice. Our dates began in standard fashion, like nights out on the town, restaurants, or the movies. We'd head into Fortitude Valley for gigs at The Zoo bar, where all the best bands played, and sometimes we'd drive across the city in my parent's car to the bayside suburbs, sitting for hours on park benches by the water under the moonlight, kissing and cuddling, and making love out in the open.

Two weeks after the Big Day Out we walked hand-in-hand through the Botanical Gardens in the city, by the river. I'd brought a picnic lunch and rug, and we found a shady spot on the grass under a big tree, eating lunch, then kissing and cuddling, holding each other for several hours, shoes off but otherwise clothed, and legs entwined.

Late in the afternoon Trixie kissed me, in the same way as all our many, many kisses that day, with a glazed, almost stoned look in her eyes. But after this particular kiss she smiled at me and stated, "I love you, Brett. I can't keep it in any longer because I'll burst. I need you to know, right now, and I know I'll regret it later if I didn't tell you. I'm so hopelessly in love with you. I've never felt this way before."

My heart soared, because I loved her too. My feelings for Trixie were so intense, my every waking thought was about how deeply I wanted to be part of her life, and how much I wanted to please her in every way possible, making her happy and spending forever with her. My feelings were so intense I'd been scared to tell her, and now I was relieved she felt the same way. I smiled, looked into her glassy love-drunk eyes with my eyes most likely in a similar state, and replied, "I love you so much, Trix. I've wanted to say it since the Big Day Out. No regrets ever. I want to spend eternity with you. My heart is yours, forever."

Given we'd only been dating for two weeks, it was probably a premature thing to say, wanting to spend eternity with her, but the words came out easily, without me even thinking, because I meant it with my entire heart and soul, and she felt it, wanting us to be together forever every bit as much as I did. Our feelings burned with mutual intensity, which was the best thing in the world, and she smiled then kissed me hard on the mouth and later she softly sang the song Gorecki by UK electronic duo, Lamb, while caressing my cheek.

"If I should die, this very moment...I wouldn't fear...for I've never known completeness, like being here...wrapped in the warmth of you, loving every breath of you...still my heart this moment...oh it might burst...could we stay right here, till the end of time, till the Earth stops turning...I want to love you, till the seas run dry...cos I've found...the one, I've waited for..."

She sang so sweetly for me, glowing as I stroked my fingers through the bright-pink streak in her long brown hair. As far as I was concerned I'd hit the jackpot, and without any prompting whatsoever my mind started contemplating such things as rings and weddings. Things I'd never considered in all my life and had no real knowledge of. I told myself not to get too far ahead of myself, since I didn't earn very much at present, didn't even own my own car, and we were about to start university! I'll ask her to marry me once we graduate in three years, I decided. Then my mind drifted to ideas for a romantic proposal...

We walked back to the train station, hand-in-hand, all smiles and glazed eyes, hopelessly and utterly and totally in love with one another. We kissed and cuddled the entire train ride, and when we finally arrived back at her place, we made love, giving ourselves to each other. Pleasuring, and loving one another, because we truly did love each other, where neither of us had felt the touch of true love before, and now felt like we'd never love anyone else. Never, ever, because it felt like our love would last till the end of time, till the Earth stops turning...

~0~

We craved one another's touch, constantly caressing and feeling for each other, no matter whose company we were in, not caring what other people thought. Our affectionate touching was mostly subconscious, where I'd brush my fingers around her waist, down along the slight curve of her buttock, and she'd lightly stroke my arm when we were chatting, and we were always holding hands.

Some of our friends joked we were disgusting, mocking us, sticking their fingers down their throats and making vomit noises. But it was all in jest, and they were mostly taking the piss. Other friends, mostly female ones, including my ex, Samantha, and my best friend, Kirsten, were happy for us, saying Trixie and I were the most truly in-love and cutest couple they'd ever seen.

Trixie and I enjoyed our post coital cuddles, sustaining our connection and not wanting to let each other go. We'd lie there, our bodies joined, kissing, cuddling, caressing, whispering, conversing, connecting, loving. We were always careful to use condoms, but we'd lie there for so long and I'd go soft inside her. The second time it happened the condom slipped all the way down my softened penis when I finally withdrew from her, with the condom sticking out from between her pussy lips. We laughed and said we'd make sure it didn't happen again.

But it did. More than once. We were reckless, careless, lovingly negligent. One evening, while my parents were out, Trixie stayed the night at my house, and we cuddled long into the evening after fucking each other stupid at least three times in a row. We rolled over into a more comfortable position, our arms around each other, legs entwined, and my softening cock slipped out of Trixie's pussy hole halfway through our roll. And the condom also slipped off inside her, the end barely visible when she spread her pussy lips so we could retrieve it.

We carefully extracted the wayward sheath, and both laughed about it, because Trixie thought she should be okay in her cycle, and very little semen would have leaked out...

...but it only takes one sperm among several million in a standard ejaculation, and Trixie's cycle wasn't as regular as she'd suggested. We should have known better. And to think, we'd only recently discussed her going on the pill, so we could love one another anytime, completely free of any barrier between us. She'd never been on the pill previously, because before me, she'd not even thought boys were interested in her.

It was a month and a bit later, a couple of weeks after we'd started our first semester at university, when Trixie and I met up one afternoon as per usual, but I could tell she was upset and had been crying. Her period was late, which she hadn't thought too much about, but she'd felt waves of nausea the previous few days, and a test at the doctor's confirmed her pregnancy.

We held each other tight and without a second thought I told her not to worry, because I loved her more than anything in the whole wide world, and I'd love her forever, till the end of time, no matter what. This wasn't even a hiccup in the scheme of things. We were in love and whatever happened was meant to be.

Trixie cried into my chest, holding me like she'd never let me go.

Kimberly entered the world on Christmas Eve; a fully formed, healthy baby, covered head-to-toe in goop, and soon crying for the first time, and melting my heart forever, becoming the main focus of our lives.

~~~~0000~~~~

January 2019

I can't help but smile back at Beatrix, but she's no longer smiling, but rather her lips are now pursed together and her fingers are rhythmically wrapping and unwrapping around her coffee cup. I snort a little laugh. "Trix, you know better than most we were normal eighteen year-old kids learning how to be adults. And if we didn't slip up a little it's unlikely we'd have ended up here today, both sad because our beautiful girl's left the nest for her first big overseas trip."

"Yeah, I know. I guess I'm being silly."

"No, you're not. I totally get it. But we can't control all contingencies. We've done well, Trix. You and I. We raised a good kid and she'll be okay."

"You and I've done well?" She says with a hint of flabbergasted amused sarcasm in her voice. "We both know it's you who raised a good kid."

"No, Trix, we both did. I couldn't have done it without ya. Remember, you promised me long ago, no regrets and I don't want to hear you beating yourself up again. Because I know for a fact Kimmy thinks you're the cool parent. Rock goddess and all that. And she always says to anyone who'll listen that you're her best friend in the entire world."

She snorts. "Rock goddess. What a load of shit. I'm so un-rock-and-roll these days, it's not even funny. I'm not even touring this year. Anyway, I'm not the cool parent, Brett. You are. You've always been here for her and I haven't..."

"Stop it, Trixie. Please. Go easy on yourself. I know it hasn't always been easy but we've done good. Really good. You can't deny it."

She looks at me for a moment, then smiles, nods and reaches out and puts her hand on mine, squeezing for a moment and sighing, before letting me go again. The spark flares a little, my heart beating faster and my hand twitching, wanting to take her hand back. But I won't, because though the spark's alight, it's not allowed to catch.

Still smiling, she takes another deep breath through her nose and breathes out again, her thoughts likely the same as mine, and there's no need to speak. Words unspoken, we know the score. Things mightn't have worked out how we'd initially hoped over the past nineteen years, but if it were any other way, it wouldn't have been the same. Because things work out one way or another. They always do.

Our mistakes weren't made when we were loved up eighteen and nineteen year-olds. It was when we were twenty and twenty-one, still learner adults juggling study, work, parenthood, and focusing on all these things, and rarely on one another. Our bond which formed so suddenly and unexpectedly with an intensity bright as the sun, began to fade through lack of attention, mostly because we we'd been completely naïve to the relentless nature of parenting.

Things changed after Kim was born and we rarely had time to be a proper couple, with me juggling a job packing shelves at the local supermarket and a job I scored in the laboratory at uni as a research assistant, all coupled with my studies, and of course parenting when I was at home, while Beatrix studied and did most of the parenting, breast feeding, plus expressing extra milk, changing and washing nappies, bathing, swaddling, cuddling, singing lullabies, trying to work out what reason Kim might be crying, all often resulting in Beatrix sobbing to herself. The elation of our first year together seemed like a distant memory.

We were nineteen year-old parents who didn't have much of a social life, and though Beatrix was a natural introvert, she needed an outlet for her frustrations and the occasional break from everything. She spent her rare free time making artwork, but her preferred outlet was music, where unfortunately she wasn't even getting the opportunity to play or experience live music much either.

Then Beatrix ran into her old musician friend from school, Christina Schmidt, who was back in town, and who'd invited her to jam. Beatrix hesitated at first, because she felt guilty about doing something for herself, but I encouraged her to go and do it, because playing music was what she loved. Because I loved her and what I wanted most was for her to be happy. And she'd come home from those sessions happy, but increasingly our relationship was suffering.

Then, like a summer's electrical storm, Kim's terrible twos hit furiously at around eighteen months, and Beatrix spent longer and longer at uni, or playing with the girls who'd now formed a band. No matter how hard I tried to give Beatrix my support, taking load after load off her, Beatrix withdrew from both me and Kimmy.

The band decided they'd have a crack at making an album, and touring the country, supporting slightly better known bands. Beatrix told me it was the opportunity of a lifetime, and she'd get a shot to live her oldest dream. She said she felt lost as a mum, and playing in a real band was something she had to do at least once in her life. I told her if that's what she wanted, go for it. I didn't mean to sound resentful, because I knew it was a dream of hers to be in a real band and I wanted her to be happy and able to follow her dream. But I'd said it all wrong, sounding resentful, and perhaps I was. She quit her degree and left us.