All Comments on 'Girl’s Night Out Won’t Hurt'

Wow this was badly written

George is unrealistically strident, and he's all over the place. No way you marry someone, stay with them 15-years and then go nuclear over GNO. The way it's written, George's blinding intransience alienated his wife and created the conditions for her to cheat. Also, the dialogue sounds overly formal and quite stilted because you don't use contractions. It reads like a legal document. Throw in some don't, can't, won't and aren't words to take the edge off the dialogue. Tracie might be hardheaded, but George is an angry, strident absolutist. 3/5.

Lady’s your single friends want you to stay single too, their is no reason for a wife to have a girls night out with single ladys

Please, please, please get a proofreader! 1☆

Yeah. Sure he kicked her lovers ass. Probably a decorated ex Navy Seal/Special Forces/IT genius and an attorney who has never lost a case.

Fuck you.

How about going back and paying attention in basic written English class?

Really, what is this all about, no sympathy for either character, poor writing

WOW!!!! Reading that was actually painful!

Life is hard, then you reap tbe consequences of it

Stupid. I have never responded to a story before, but that last paragraph, bad. The last line?! TERRIBLE.

What ruins this story is the double standards the husband has, and even so thinking he was a good guy! This is so true that he married Marie as soon as she was free...Not excusing the wife, but he wasn't a saint...He was married to her and loved secretly another woman...He was so selfish that ended the story being happy and making his ex die unhappy and early in life...1*

Get an editor. Content and style are worse.

It seems that the author hasn’t built up the courage to either reread his piece or, get an editor. Either way this is just a piece of illiterate garbage. What is a “fifth-teen”?

This 'Could' have been a decent story. I say could because, the idea of a story is to impart a thought, or idea, written in a easy flowing prose. This was like intermittent wind shield wipers on a car. The start was ok, then it went to shit in a wheelbarrow. Total melt down of a writing effort. Maybe someone can re-write it for a decent story.

too many grammatical errors making it very difficult to follow story line. I liked the story idea just too hard to keep my interest. 2 ** for effort/

Even dying at 53, Tracie was better off without an asshole husband like George.

It seems really odd that she would suddenly “need” a girls night out after 15 years. Then when she says it will be EVERY Friday night and she’ll be out until 1:00, all kinds of alarm bells are ringing. The hubby had every right to be suspicious, but he drops off the deep end, assumes she fucking around and plans to divorce her. Maybe cooler heads would compromise as Marie suggested and Tracie would not be feeling “single” when Bill came sniffing around. No excuse for her behavior with Bill, but hubby handled it all wrong.

I liked the plot but the writing can use a lot of work and an editor would help a lot.

waay waay way too harsh. If a guy's fucking around, nothing happens. "It's just Jeff being Jeff..." But when a woman gets promiscuous, she ends up dead from an STD.

Why can't women have sex and it not be the crime of the century?

Not well written.

An ok story, that could have been a great story, if it had been fleshed out more.

A not so good plot, lost in many choppy and difficult to read lines of print.

What a hot mess. This was difficult to read. Kept repeating the same things over and over....

Loklie

Very poorly written. I assume English isn’t your first language.

He did not have the high ground. He was no hero.

Hey phill1c.

Sure women may have sex.

Men may have sex.

The shift occurs when the woman is a Wife and/or the man is a Husband.

Idiot!

Your writing skills are far from smooth. If English is a second language I will certainly cut you some slack. You need an editor to get a flow of words rather than short burst.

Tracie reaped what she sowed. George had her pegged completely, GNO never end well for anyone.

Commitment being faithful to the man you say you love but proving other wise. It's a shame but she ended up being a slut.

I don’t agree he was an asdhole . He lost a marriage over this issue and didn’t want to possibly go through that again . Frequently is the problem. Why couldn’t she go once a month or once every other month? This a common problem, you spend 8 hrs or more a day at work with people and then start to drink and be social every week . It has red flags all over it . Dance clubs like that are really for the single and young. Guys always try to rub up on you and get quick feels . Men woman and drinking is a recipe for problems

She knew what he went thru and couldn't come to a compromise of maybe once a month or something. Well she got what she deserved but sucks there were no more dialogue from her side of things.

Please tell us that English isn't your first language.

Okay story but terrible writing.

That was so disjointed it was awful.

Scores 2/5 and that’s being generous.

Not bad. I would urge the author to keep writing but the writing is very stilted and awkward. The dialogue doesn't sound like the way people talk; the rest of the story is choppy with too many short sentences. Poorly constructed long sentences aren't good either, but well constructed longer sentences mixed with short sentences make for writing that flows and reads better. I gave it 4**** as an encouragement.

Author needs to take some writing courses at a community college. Sentences were all basically declarative statements, choppy, and didn't flow. Storyline is workable, execution was lacking.

Too much buildup, too little finish.

No bad however better dialogue emotionally would make it read better.

2 stars - you need some remedial English grammar courses before you submit any more stories here.

Very confusing,they are man and wife living in an house and he is sending her notes and she arranges to meet him.Then later we find he is living in a motel,why wasn't this posted first?.Is the authors language,not English?.

What a mess of writing. Detached from reality.

Load of crap,though I can see why Tracie needs time away from the control freak.

So poorly written. Decent story idea, but incompetently executed.

.

2 **

From your writing style and some errors in basic English grammar I'm guessing that English is not your first language. With that in mind I would give you high marks for your stories. While I do speak and read in two other languages I could never write a passable story in either of them with out committing mayhem to the language. My mother -in-law called me a Deutsch Verderber.

Slow down. Don't be in a rush to get to the end of your point. Other than that, you are doing good

I guess in Traci's situation like they say a tiger never changes their spots. George was spot on in saying that Traci could not be trusted, and she proved that with her actions. The proof was in the pudding as they say to what Traci did in her next marriage where Friday Girls Night led to her cheating, then contracting an STD which not only caused another divorce but suspect that is why she died at age 53. George finally found happiness with Marie, but the bottom line is that Girls Night out is very unhealthy for a marriage and 9 out 10 times it leads to disaster. 4/5

Not much I liked about the story. Both are stupid, unbending & belligerent to the other's wants/ needs. They can't compromise - maybe she goes to her GNO every other Friday & returns by 11:30 or so. The Fridays she doesn't go, they go on their date; the other weeks, it's on a Saturday. Without her doing anything yet, he says he can't trust her. With her wanting those Friday nights, he's talking about no more making love; in fact, he talks about divorce. Yes, he had a terrible experience with his ex who did cheat on her GNOs, but did his current wife give any reason that she is, or close to it?

On the other side, she should be more receptive to the long cemented worry he has about GNO. As stated, both acting like adult children, only wanting their way, not willing to compromise at all. Even when she said she'd give up her GNO, he didn't believe her, so in reality he couldn't be pleased. Perhaps if she tried something like that, maybe giving out those 2 Fridays, the situation would've been different, but I doubt it.

The story could've gone more into their discussions, more of what happened on more of her Friday nights, just why he started "dating" Marie, & some more info what happened in the counselor's office, but didn't. 2 stars. -- Bob

George taking a married woman on a date behind her husband’s back, sending her a flower ever year on the anniversary of their date, and maintaining feelings for her even after he married someone else makes him a very unsympathetic character and somewhat a hypocrite in his dealings with Tracie.

1 star because none of the main characters are likable

A ridiculous and stupid story. I give it a 1 and that is being generous.

My eyes hurt after reading this, what garbage!

It was not bad, but it was redundant. Three stars.

Dreadful load of garbage. George was a self-righteous, hypocritical prick, Tracie was stupid and stubborn, but she dies of an STD and he lives happily ever after. What a vomit inducing hypocritical macho bullshit ending.

LA

Didn't like either character

Jesus, this is a pathetic piece of crap. What is this, the 1930’s? Are these two robots? This has got to be some of the stiffest, most immature, dialog I’ve ever read. He’s a self-righteous prig and she is an obstinate pre-teen. Nothing to care about or connect to in either one of them.

What a stupid fucking story. Both parties had the immature rigidity and reasoning power of a ten-year-old. The dialogue was pure Dr. Seuss: "I do not cheat, I do not want a divorce, I will not agree to change the day." Just stupid, crappy writing.

not the best writing but I don't see why people are getting upset about this. The husband had a history with a cheater and he saw the pattern repeating with his new wife. When he tried to talk to her she rebuked him. That caused him to shift into self protection and survival mode, he tried to talk to her several times, and she always dismissed his concerns or outright insulted him. SHE was clearly in the wrong and he did what he had to. How people can say that they are both immature or two ridged, or that this is "the 1930's", is beyond me. This is someone who had triggers that he had clearly told her about before they got married but she plainly just didn't care, then she dies alone, no mention of cats, but I suspect that there were a few.

Write more, get better at composing the story and you will do fine. 3/5 but it wouldn't take much for that to become a 4/5.

Cheers

Very poorly written and not worth reading.

What a sad little ditty. Not worth the time. Everything was so convoluted and it was if you would not make up your mind. Did not like it at all – a total waste of time. This story could have been much shorter instead of repeating ail the same old – and again the same old. 2-Stars – wish I could make it less!

Cheating hurts everyone. Before you take vows of fidelity, think about what it entails. Good story.

A bit rushed and I think a bit forced, from Traci's POV, with the exception of that one kiss, her flaw was disrespecting him. She had her doubts and those doubts came to fruition, when she saw those divorce papers. But if she really missed those date nights, she should have went on them. Her stubbornness was her downfall, but at the same time, it was only one kiss and if she was going to slap him, should have done it quick, not savor the kiss.

Vc deveria autorizar alguem reescrever este conto. O conto é bom, mas poderia ter sido melhor escrito com a ajuda de algum editor.

This could have been told in a half page if your didn’t keep repeating the same thing over and over in the next paragraphs. Also needs editing. Sorry, but this was bad…..

…only if making laundry and grocery lists is included in the definition.

This is simply a list of events. It isn’t a story. And it isn’t any good.

Both guilty

man.......you really, really, need an editor.

your story had potential but your writing ,aaggghhhhh

Oh, Boo Hoo. Another saint who got cheated on. Give no forgiveness, get none. Enjoy hell, George.

Pretty good story, more true than fantasy. I got married in the mid 60s and wife got pregnant right away. Early 70s, kid started school and the wife, turning 28, said she bored staying home. Wife got a job at a large office complex as a secetary. A few of the young single women were going to a popular club on Fridays to dance and celebrate the end of another weeks work. Of course, the main talk on Monday would be how much fun the single women had drinking and dancing with the good looking men at the club. Needless to say, a few of the married women, thinking life was passing them by, would also go to the club every once in a while. Well it only took about 7 months till my wife asked me if she could go out with the girls for a " Girls Night Out " and she would be back by 9. I was also stupid and thought it would be ok. The first 2 Fridays she would leave about 6 30 and was back at 9, then it slowly got later and later. After another 4 weeks, she began leaving at 7 30 and getting home at 11 30. When she came home, I could tell she had a couple drinks but she was never drunk. She had also become friends with Betsy, one of the younger single girls. I was getting a little worried why she was spending 4 hours at the club, but she said because Betsy didn't have a car, she was picking her up. She also said it took 45 minutes to pick up Betsy and get to the club and then 45 minutes to take her home and get home. She said they were only at the club from 8 15 to 10 45, 2 and one half hours. Well to make a longer story short, about 6 months later, I found out she and Betsy had gotten close with two guys at the club and the 2 guys were meeting them at Betsy apartment for a 3 hour sexual marathon. Needless to say we got a divorce and my wife become the 8th divorced secretary working at the company. My life is now shit, all becuse I was stupid enough to think my wife deserved a night out with the girls.

Waste of time

No real emotions. Just statements of procedure. The lack of any showing vs. being told the entire resolution drained any remaining tension out of the story. 2*

Flat and confusing, but I did finish it, and like the MCs sentiments.

Stay calm, no reason to make yourself sick.

This is a very good outline for a story.

Get a gramatic teacher and you may have a good story in you. As far as the hubby, he was quite over the top but

wifey was also too damn stubborn.

What a stubborn paranoid asshole the husband was! Tracie deserved better than him.

Interesting story, but the writing was awful

It was an okay story. Could be used as an outline for a better story. Maybe get an editor to help sounding it out, as it was flat, more like a narration than a story. Sorry, but I call them as I read them. And this left a lot to be desired. There are a lot of these types of stories on here that actually go into more detail, and are that much better.

In so many of these stories the wife gives in and tries to reconcile. Husband feels she has cheated and disrepested him even though she never had sex with anyone else. He doesn't believe her, blows off the counseling and divorces her. He finds an availible woman, marries and has a prfect mariage. Ex-wife never recovers, dates all the time, gets an STD and lives lonely for many more years. The MC husband is not the hero here, he is an asshole. I would rather she had his life and he had hers.

Not a single emotion in the whole telling of the story. It was like reading a robotic story. This happened and then that happened, ho hum.