All Comments on 'Girls like her'

So was it the totem that gave him that ability or whatever?

Another good idea, as I find the theme of lesbian altering strangely underrated for some reason.

Kryms1n, yes- specifically when he wished for ‘girls like her’ to like him.

I think you got some name mixed up there: Darla and Dana while Darla was threatening Daniel, Janice and Trish while Trish was on the bed.

Otherwise, this is an amazing story! I like how you retell all the time periods of our main character, it was very fluid and natural.

Hey wait, there's a cat here....

....?

It said you should expand this beyond an one off. I think its name was Bast or something.

Really good narrative craft, as usual. You should be proud of yourself. You have definite talent.

Technical execution somewhat lacking, as usual. You don't proofread enough.

Thanks for the positive comments and useful criticisms both.

That was great! I really enjoyed the time jumps. Maybe a little unusual that a 26 yo is an associate professor, but that's fine.

This was so good I would love more

Very nice! Nit to pick: what did you mean by "Fuck, het people were weird." I thought maybe heterosexual? But the story is pretty explicit here, "We're a poly thing." so I am not sure

I see what you did there!

Well-crafted tale that had me scratching my head right up to the reveal at the end… 5*

Damn good. Quite funny, hot, and sweet at the same time.

Timtom12 - he's not an associate professor, he's an *assistant* professor.

Towards the end you got confused:

""So what happened?" He shrugged. She was aware that her nipples were poking through her shirt. Why didn't she wear a bra? She always wore a bra but when she came around to threaten him? Suddenly she decided that she didn't need a bra. She shouldn't stop thinking about the way he could see her nipples. She should focus on the knife. Right. She had a knife. The knife gave her power over him. Control. Focus on the knife, Dana."

The person whose thoughts we are listening in on is Darla, not Dana. It'll be a year before Dana ever even meets Dyke Breaker. One of the hazards of having two characters with such similar names.

But overall a fine story. Not sure if this concept is original with you, but it's well executed. Any heterosexual male has to be attracted to the fantasy of being so macho that lesbians find him irresistible. The reverse timeline is at least a seldom used device and that too is quite well done. And just the right amount of ironic humor.

Marvelous. Needs more.