Girls Night Out, My Version

I thought I would easily get away with this disguise in a dark nightclub with flashing lights. Whilst Heather was out shopping one Saturday, I had a dry run.

I got my newly purchased clothes, wig, glasses and tried them on. I had to peer across the top of the glasses, it made me look younger, quite a bit younger. I felt confident that no one would know me. And to change into my normal clothes all I needed to do is to slip on the rugby shirt, possibly over the top of the shirt, take off the glasses and the wig and it'll be me. Nobody would bother to look at my trousers or shoes when I drove them home. I could get away with this. I was quite enjoying the planning and the execution. I wondered if I could be a full time private investigator?

The next Thursday, girl's night out went like a dream. I got to the nightclub around 10:00. The corner I spied was empty, I could see most of the dance floor from there. I even had time to have a little chat with the barman who wasn't busy at that time of the night. He told me it wouldn't get busy till about 11 to half past when the pubs over the road closed. I drank tonic water, and the barman gave me a funny look. I just muttered the words 'designated driver' he gave me a sorrowful look, I returned it.

They came in and I could see they're all happy and giggly and Debora had Gerald in tow, they all sat together. I took the odd photograph with my phone, they weren't very good pictures. As the night carried on the girls danced a lot together and occasionally with other men but rarely more than one dance with the same chap. Except Debora, she danced with Gerald and a few others quite a lot.

I saw a chap ask Heather for a dance, it was a slow one, his hands wandered down to where they shouldn't, she just pushed him away and walked back to the girls at the table. That made me feel good, however I wasn't here to watch her, it was Debora I was here to keep an eye on. But bloody hell my wife did look good.

I saw Heather on the dance floor next with a different sort of chap, this is more of your, let's just say corporate lawyer looking type chap, slightly taller than her, short greying hair, healthy looking, excluding confidence. You know the sort. Well, the third dance was a slow one and his hand slipped down to where the other chap's hands had been, but she didn't walk off this time, then there was another dance. There appeared to be some chatting going on between them, but when that dance finished, he gave her a kiss on the cheek, and she returned back to the rest of the girls. I could see there's lots of heads in and giggling, I wish to hell I knew what they were saying.

Bugger, now I might have to watch both of them.

Debora and Gerald did lots of dancing, kissing and wandering of hands, but everything stayed outside the clothing. I got some more photographs. Heather did have a dance with the corporate lawyer type chap again, this time when he moved his hands down, she moved them back. When she got back to the table there were more heads in and giggling. I saw Heather go into a handbag and pick up her phone. I shot into the toilet. Yep, it was for me she told me they'd be ready in five minutes and would meet me outside. I went back and finished my drink, the barman looked across to me to see if I wanted another one, I shook my head and did the imitation of a steering wheel. He smiled at me.

I got to the car, rugby shirt over the top of the shirt. The glasses and the wig went into the door side pocket. Must remember to shift them on the way to work tomorrow.

We dropped the girls off and I did my usual. "Did you have a good time?" question.

"Yes, it was good, just dancing and chatting. We like it there because the music's not too loud and you can hear what the other people are saying. You're so good picking us up like this. Did you see the queue for the taxi, it was huge."

Was that a distraction?

"Did you dance with many men; you look sexy as hell, I'm sure you got hit on."

"Yes, there was a couple, one bloke let his hands wander, I just walked off the floor and left him there very embarrassed." I wanted to ask about the corporate lawyer chap. It almost came out that he didn't get left on the dance floor when his hands wandered. But that would have given something away, so I managed to keep my trap shut.

Over Sunday lunch I brought up Debora's boyfriend again," Oh it's just a bit of fun, they just do lots of dancing, kissing and the odd cuddle, there's nothing else going on, she tells Jeff all about it when she gets home."

"I think you should ask Jeff about that, because the kissing and cuddling I saw wouldn't pass the husband test. If I saw you doing what Debora is doing, there would be trouble."

She looked at me across the table "Sweetheart you're a lovely man and I love you with all my heart. I would never do anything like that to you. I know about your sister, and the grief that caused. But your sister was silly, she left too many clues."

That worried me for a minute, did she think she was smarter than my sister? Actually, she was. She wouldn't leave any clues and wouldn't get caught, is that what she was saying? I would have to think about that.

My baby sister. It started with flirting at work with her boss, then whilst her husband was away working, the odd evening meal. A little bit of dancing because she was lonely. After dancing came the kissing, and after the kissing came the sex. But her husband wasn't stupid, he read the signs, and he came home early from one of his trips away and when he got home, he found his children being looked after by the babysitter and playing with their toys. Which was strange because he had just talked to my sister on the phone, and she told him she was watching the television with a glass of wine, and the kids were in bed asleep. When he eventually found her in the hotel. He punched the boyfriend and started divorce proceedings. That nearly killed Mum and Dad. The boyfriend got divorced and sacked. It wasn't pretty. My parents convinced my sister's husband to take her back because of the children, but their life isn't much, there's no trust, but they are working on it. My sister was stupid, she left so many clues it would have been hard for her husband not to find out.

"The thing is, kissing and cuddling leads to a full blown affair and that's why I think Debora and Gerald are headed that way, He's hoping to get lucky. And I saw Gerald getting handsy the last time I picked you up, I bet she's not telling Jeff about that. You've got to make your decision if that does happen, and you see it, because you know what I think about infidelity,"

She looked worried, "Yes, I do. I've been thinking about it, and I think the best way to tackle this is to tell Debora she's putting me in a difficult place and if I see her having an affair, I'm going to have to think about our friendship. You don't put your best friend in that position, and I will tell her I might have to tell Jeff, and if she's got a problem with Jeff, they need to sort it out together. Finding a bit of fun on the side wouldn't help."

I looked at her with a Paddington hard stare. "You know, if I saw you doing what she's doing, I would be seriously thinking about our marriage. What she's doing would not pass this husband test."

That seemed to settle it, now that she had made a decision what to do about it, she seemed happier, I'm not sure I was.

I didn't know whether to go with her in two weeks' time, I decided I would, but I would need a new disguise. A quick trip to a charity shop and I came out with quite a nice sports jacket and a shirt, it matched the colour of my chinos. Still all bland, blend in colours.

I spent some of my time looking for stuff that Heather was having an affair or was it just a girl's night out having fun, chatting and the odd dance. I couldn't let it go, sad of me I know, but I couldn't.

Two weeks' later there I am. This time Heather didn't look quite so sexy, she wasn't in nice mode, she was in smart mode but not sexy mode. I didn't get there till 11 o'clock. I didn't rush. I had a couple of hours kip on the sofa, Just in case it was a long night. When I got to the nightclub somebody had nabbed my seat next to the toilet, perhaps he had a weak bladder. So I had to use the alternate, much further away from the toilet. The barman saw me and seemed to recognise me even in my second hand sports coat. He imitated the steering wheel sign and I just nodded; he brought me across a tonic water.

I wasn't sure who I was watching this time Debora or Heather. This is quite strange now, sitting in a more open place and something I wasn't used to. A girl came up to me and asked me to dance. That was new to me, in my day women didn't approach men to dance. I couldn't refuse, that might draw attention to me if she kicked off. I had faith in my disguise, and it would be good as long as I kept my back to the girls. But then I wouldn't be able to watch them, bugger. I did my best, but I spent time worrying about the syrup flying off. I tried not to do dad dancing, but when I looked around the room that's what most of the men were doing, it suddenly came to me, the men are all looking the same, the women all looking sexily similar. Music not so loud that you couldn't talk over it, and there were more slow dances than I would have expected. Then it struck me, this was a hookup place. What the fuck were the girls doing here? Were they looking to pick up a man, it didn't seem like it, well except for Debora. The others just seemed to dance with a few different men. I have been concentrating on watching Debora and Heather. I'm not paying too much attention to what else was happening, and it was dark with flashing lights.

I had noticed that most of the men looked similar, and all the women looked good. But I had been watching the girls and I hadn't studied what was happening. What else had I missed. Whilst I was dancing with this lady, I tried to have a discreet look round, I had a better view from where I was on the dance floor than sat in my dark corner. Most of the men looked middle-aged, there were one or two podgy ones, quite a few that could afford to lose the odd pound. Quite a few of what some people might call good looking, the stereotypical corporate lawyer shark looking type. Most seem to be wearing smart clothes but of a similar design. Now I was on the dance floor I could see that most of the women were of a similar age to the men. A lot of them made an effort to hide their age but most of them looked very good. There weren't many young women here, but there were quite a few young men who were there, probably looking to hook up with a Cougar for a night I guessed. And I'm sure there's some Cougars there hoping to pick up a young stud to fill a need.

I got back to my seat, the lady I had been dancing with wasn't as young as I had initially thought she was. But she turned out very well.

Then the corporate lawyer type turned up, well I think it was him from two weeks ago. They did all tend to look the same. Ignoring Gerald, he held his hand out to Debora, she took it and the two of them proceeded to the dance floor. They danced to one fast dance and then a slow one, there appeared to be some whispering during the slow dance, I couldn't see where his hands were going.

After the second dance he took Deborah back to the table, he held his hand out to Heather, she accepted, and they went to the dance floor. And similar for them was a fast dance, then a slow one. I moved, this time to see where his hands were going during the slow dance. They wandered lower than I was happy with, but Heather lifted them slowly back up to her waist and leaned in and whispered to him. He just smiled at her. All of a sudden for some reason I wanted to go and smack him one in the face. It crossed my mind that she didn't want to be seen by the other girls being touched up. She didn't want to put them in a bad position. Or did she not want to get caught doing stuff that I would not approve of, and it got back to me.

When the second dance finished, corporate lawyer type escorted Heather back to the table and joined them, he sat between Heather and Debora and started paying court to them both equally. Debora's boyfriend was all over her, I think he felt threatened by corporate lawyer type as he was being nice to her, but I believed corporate lawyer bloke's target was my wife. I think playing up to Debora was a smokescreen.

Corporate lawyer type spread himself around a bit, he danced with Sally and Denise, although it was obvious they were not interested in him and kept him at arm's length. Sometimes all six of them were on the floor together. But he always seemed to end up in front of either Heather or Debora.

Debora ended up doing a lot more dancing with the corporate lawyer type than I would have thought. I had assumed it was Heather he was interested in.

Debora was a flirt, to my mind the corporate lawyer type was playing up to Debora to put the others off his intended victim, Heather. I think the corporate lawyer type gave the impression he was trying to take Debora away from her boyfriend, but that was just to hide the fact he was chasing after Heather. It crossed my mind that he didn't want to be seen to play too much up to Heather in front of the other two girls whom I would give a lift home later.

I almost missed Heather going into her handbag for her phone, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, I looked across and she had her phone to her ear. I couldn't answer it from where I was, so I let it go to answer phone and shot out the front of the nightclub. As soon as I got out, I sent her a text and then phoned her saying I got the message, and I would be there in ten. That was a close call. I might have to pay more attention. Then I realised I had the sports coat on, and they couldn't see that so that went into the boot along with the wig and glasses.

There was no hanging around this time when I got there. No sign of corporate lawyer bloke or Gerald. The girls were a little subdued as I drove them all home. I wonder if they'd noticed me in my disguise or if there was something else. When I was alone in the car with Heather, she said nothing, but she was quiet. I assumed my disguise was safe.

The following Tuesday over tea Heather said to me. "Sweetheart, we're all going out on Thursday for Debora's birthday, it's a big one." She said it when I had a mouth full of food and she knows I hate talking with my mouth full. It was like she planned it.

She didn't give me time to chew and swallow but carried on. "Sally had something on, on Friday and can't drink so, she's going to drive, it'll save you doing it. It will be the pub then the club as normal, I know it's two weeks on the trot, but it'll be three weeks before the next one and I will make it up to you. And I've taken Friday off so Debora and I can go shopping, you never know what shopping I might pick up.

They've just opened up a new lingerie shop in the arcade," she smiled at me with that Oh so cute smile she has when she wants something.

She didn't ask me, she told me. That was different. And she had answered most of the questions I was going to ask. By now I had finished my mouthful.

"And when did this come up?" I asked.

"Debora got on the phone yesterday, and we all arranged it together."

"How does Jeff feel about this change in plans and how do Sally and Denise's husband's feel about this two weeks on the trot?" Jeff would be Ok, he was getting extra sex for her nights out, but I didn't know Sally and Denise's husbands well, but I was interested in what they thought, especially as Sally apparently had something on, on Friday.

"Jeff's happy with it, But Sally and Denise's husbands weren't so keen, but they've said it's okay."

I wasn't happy either, not only by them going out, but also by the way it was presented to me as a fait accompli. And I was the last to know, why didn't she tell me yesterday. She had plenty of time. This was different, very different. This is the very sort of change I was worried about.

Right, let's put the cat among the pigeons. "What if I say 'No'?"

"Sweetheart," She came round the table and sat on my lap and put her arms round my neck. "You wouldn't do that to me would you? Please let me. I will make it up to you all weekend, and I do need a new corset and stockings."

Now she was asking, and bribing, I tried to look like I was thinking. I was, but not about what she had said, but what she might be planning. If I said 'no' there would be another three weeks of worry if there was something going on these girl's night out. So, I said 'Yes.'

She gave me a smouldering kiss, which made things stand up, she could feel it. She smiled at me and said "Later"

Then the clincher, as we were sitting watching telly, she said to me. "As we aren't working on Friday, we might be a bit later, and if I am, I'll sleep in one of the kid's rooms so as not to wake you up."

None of what she said made sense to me, now I was really worried.

I was keeping an eye out for anything suspicious, and the only thing I noticed was her using her mobile phone more, there were more texts and phone calls that seemed to change tack when I walked in the room. She obviously had nothing to hide on her phone as we had the same pin code for our phones and I checked hers, in fact at one stage she gave it to me to sort something out for her. I used the opportunity to have a look through her text messages. There was quite a lot from Debora, but they seemed to go on about her birthday and the shopping trip they had planned. But I don't know what they talked about over the phone.

On Thursday when she came downstairs, she was almost back to looking 'nice'. Below the knee dress and silky blouse, nothing startling, she looked 'nice', but she had five inch heels on, and that didn't match with the rest of the other clothes she was wearing. And she has a large handbag, normally it was just a small clutch bag she took with her on her nights out.

There was the sound of the taxi honking its horn, strange. I thought if Sally couldn't drink and was driving why didn't she pick Heather up, she had to come past our place to get to the pub.

As soon as she left, I raced upstairs and checked her wardrobe, her green tight fitting satin sheath dress was missing, the one that I loved her to wear. This really did need investigating.

I grabbed my car keys and the envelope I had prepared earlier and shot out the door. I tracked her phone and she went straight to the nightclub, not the pub like she told me. I managed to get there before the taxi, It's a good job there's not many speed cameras in our town. Debora was waiting for her, but I couldn't see Sally or Denise, they could be inside already.

I didn't have my disguise, so I wasn't going to follow them in, in fact as I was dressed in my normal jeans and rugby shirt I'd probably wouldn't get in anyway. I settled down in the car to wait. But it wasn't long when I saw Heather in her green dress and corporate lawyer type come out arm in arm and walk towards me, I slid down on the seat as far as I could, hoping Heather wouldn't recognise the car, from what I had seen so far she was too engrossed in corporate lawyer type to notice, she was hanging onto his arm. I counted to ten after I saw their shadows pass the car before I eased myself up to look for them. They went into the restaurant two doors down; you couldn't miss that dress and hair.

I was fuming. This was no celebration outing for Debora, this was a hook up and Debora was covering for her best friend. And that was the reason for not wanting to be picked up. That was it, I was glad I had the letter with me. I walked past the restaurant window, and I caught sight of them about halfway back, they looked like they were lovers holding hands and looking into each other's eyes. It was all I could do to stop myself from throwing up.