Give Me a Reason Pt. 05

"Hey, I was just about to go home," Ingrid smiled.

"Oh, okay. I was just going to give you some good news."

"No problem, just let me sign off and I'll meet you outside."

She met me outside a few minutes later and lit a cigarette.

"Sorry," she apologised, "I've been trying to give them up for a few months now but now and then I need to have one," she smiled.

"Of course, I've never smoked but I understand."

"So, what's your good news?"

"I um, I came out to her yesterday."

"Wow, how was it?"

I related the conversation we'd had on the bridge while Ingrid listened and she nodded as she blew out a cloud of smoke.

"Good, you've taken the first step. Give yourself a pat on the back as they say."

We talked a little more and exchanged phone numbers before she went home and then I went back in to check on Anna, and after that I called Astrid. She answered on the first ring with a, "hi there, I was just about to call."

"Too late," I replied, "I've already called you."

"I've been speaking to Karin, they've got a job vacancy for a native English speaker."

"What's the job?"

"It involves helping people fill in citizenship application forms but they also need someone with a background in accountancy or economics to help the finance side of things."

"I'm interested but wouldn't you need to know Danish tax law?"

"Not necessarily, according to her. You just need to be able to add numbers and they provide all the training, they were looking for a British person but with Brexit that's all up in smoke."

"Can I be interviewed for the job on my visa though?"

"She said that what they'd do is have an informal discussion, show you around and afterwards they would arrange a time for a formal interview via Teams or Skype back in Australia."

"Oh," I pinched my nose, "okay, sure... it's something I can do."

"Okay, I'll text you her number, just arrange a time to meet up with her when you get back, you've got a day and a half in Copenhagen before you fly out and apparently they just want to spend about an hour with you."

"Sure, text me the number."

After she'd texted the number we sat and talked for about an hour or so and afterwards I rang Karin and when she picked up the phone she sounded careful as she replied in Danish.

"Hi? Hvem er det?"

"Hiya, is that Karin? It's Susan, is it too late to call?"

"Susan! Hi! I was just talking about you. Have you spoken to Astrid yet?"

"Yes, I just got off the phone to her. She um told me about this job?"

"For sure, we have a job vacancy for a native English speaker and while we can all speak English it was thought that we should reserve this job for someone who is a native speaker. Quite a few of our clients are from Britain but because of Brexit and other issues we've decided to look to America or another English speaking country."

"How much does it pay?"

"A little over forty four thousand kronor a month, which is over nine thousand dollars in Australia, it's not a lot I know but that's the starting salary. After twelve months it increases by ten percent and over the next two years after that it increases by five percent per year."

"Shit," I took my glasses off and leaned forward, "I think I need my hearing checked as well. Did you say nine thousand a month?"

"I did, the actual take home pay is thirty thousand, three hundred and fifty one kronor per month, let me see what that works out to," she paused.

"Six thousand nine hundred and one," I replied.

"Oh, that was quick."

"I got used to the exchange rate when I was in Copenhagen," I replied.

"Well that just confirms that Astrid was right to recommend you. How's Sweden?"

"It's different, they're very style conscious."

"That's Stockholm for you, I've only been there a couple of times but getting back to the subject at hand, when are you due back here and how long are you staying?"

"I'm back the day after tomorrow but we get in about eleven at night but I've got the following day and most of the day after. Astrid was saying we'll be having dinner at her parents' place, they'll take us to the airport afterwards. We're getting the late evening flight."

"Cool, so what time would suit you for this informal chat? You'll be with me and my boss, it's a sit down lunch and chat followed by a walk around the office where you'll get a feel for the place, it's all very informal. There's no need to wear a suit, she knows you're on holiday but leave the bikini at home."

"I didn't bring a bikini with me to be honest."

"Good, I'll text you the time and the address again but thank you for considering the job."

I spent a good half an hour just trying to take it all in. I even called mum with the news and she was cautious but encouraging.

"Go for it, honestly. I'd miss you and Anna like crazy but if it all comes off I'd be over the moon."

I didn't tell Anna until the next day and she was excited too.

"I hope you get the job."

"And you're sure you won't miss your friends and family?"

"I will but I can use your phone and I've got my laptop too."

I love the simplicity of kids!

We took a ferry ride to Birka that day to visit an old Viking settlement and took loads of pictures before heading back to Stockholm and dinner with Ingrid and Ellie. They live in an apartment that actually overlooks the hostel, something Ingrid pointed out to us from the balcony.

"It's a nice view," I commented.

"And it's an easy walk to work," she grinned.

Dinner was traditional Swedish meatballs in korma sauce with boiled rice and vegetables and Anna soon learned the Swedish words for those foods. What was more illuminating though was to see the way these two women treated each other and it's not as if I'd never spent time with lesbian couples but in light of recent events I guess I was paying more attention than usual. It was obvious that they both loved each other dearly, and Anna got on well with Kaylee. They eventually emigrated to the bedroom leaving the grown ups in the living room. Ellie's story was more harrowing than mine. Her father was a virulent homophobe and when she came out he marshalled the entire family en masse against her although the last few years there had been cracks in the wall.

"My oldest sister Roberta has started following me on Facebook and it's not because she wants to keep an eye on me, I've noticed she likes my posts and just last month mum called to see how I was getting on and said she'd like to come over for a holiday."

"What does your dad think about that?"

"Ah, that's a sore point. Dad's trying to get Trump re-elected again but the rest of the family just want to move on and pretend it didn't happen."

"My dad was a Trump supporter, it used to baffle us. As we say in Australia he's as useless as tits on a bull," I smiled.

They both laughed at that but then the conversation moved onto coming out. We both had similar backgrounds and I found a lot of similarities, particularly when it came to shame. I'd felt shame for years before my marriage ended and it had certainly affected my day to day life. I never felt as if I was good enough, there was always something else I had to do in order to achieve some outcome but once I achieved it there was something else to get. It was a never ending battle to get more and more but it was a fight with diminishing returns.

"That's why I like the Swedish concept of lagom, which is just enough but not too much," she let her eyes play over the room, "I could say we need a bigger tv or a nicer couch but the tv is okay and the couch is enough for four people. It flies in the face of consumerism, which is always wanting you to buy bigger and better to match society's expectations."

"We need more of that in Australia," I sighed, "we have the concept of keeping up with the Joneses, a mythical family of neighbours. If Mr. Jones buys a new car then you have to buy one the same or a bigger car and if Mrs. Jones buys a dress for a hundred dollars then you have to buy one that costs more than that. It's a never ending cycle because you've never got enough."

"It's something that sums up the Swedish national psyche," Ingrid broke in, "consensus and equality instead of accumulating too much. My mother used to hold out a closed fist and an open hand," she held her hands out to demonstrate.

"She would say how much can you fit in your left hand?" she nodded at the fist, "you can fit more in the open hand, don't be so eager to hold onto more and more just for the sake of it," she smiled, "it's like the English proverb, he who dies with the most toys wins."

"I haven't heard that in years," I nudged my glasses, "I can use more lagom."

As if to demonstrate the concept they had a gift for Anna when she came back through with Kaylee, a small Swedish/English dictionary and for me a scarf. Simple but touching considering we'd only just met them but it was a good demonstration of lagom.

I smile when I read over what I've written because it's an oxymoron. I can't have more lagom, I can only have lagom, no more, no less and now I need to get back to work!

***

All right, that's enough for now. It was a short day. My boss came on to say that I should take the rest of the day off, I'll be back in the office tomorrow though. Penny called earlier to tell me that Rodney was committed to stand trial but according to her source, which is impeccable, he won't be giving evidence against the club. The DPP has reacted accordingly, reinstating all the charges they were prepared to drop in exchange for witness testimony. In all honesty, I can understand why he has changed his stance. Rodney could put on a tough guy front but if you stood your ground he'd fold like a house of cards. I haven't told Anna yet. Back to the story though and the interview now that Anna has started the homework the teacher gave an hour ago.

The interview took place at an office in the city. Despite the casual dress code though I still wore a blouse and a pair of trousers, I had a pair of dark grey tartan trousers although the red blouse felt a little over the top, especially riding a bicycle! However, I'd learned by then that people cycle to work wearing office clothes so I was in good company. I followed Astrid and Anna to the office. Anna sat in the cargo seat of Astrid's bike, much to her delight!

"I'll go and pick up some things in town," she kissed me on the lips, "you'll be fine."

"Thanks," I replied.

Karin greeted me in the lobby and led me through to meet her boss, Lena, a tall statuesque blonde with blue eyes and a stylish dress sense. I found out later that she also spoke Swedish and Finnish as well as her native Danish and English, the informal interview however was in English. It was more of an informal discussion, as Karin had intimated previously. Karin was curious about Australia and I spent at least twenty minutes telling her about the places I'd been, the cultural differences as well as the number of poisonous creatures. I also had to answer a strange question about whether we all have Christmas dinner on the beach.

"Um no," I smirked, "you have to imagine a combination of sand, wind and food. Would you like to eat a mouthful of sand?"

"Ew," she winced, "I must confess I'd never thought of that."

Eventually however she got down to the actual interview, by then I was halfway through another cinnamon bun and Karin was making another coffee.

"Some of our clients are from the U.K but even the ones from other parts of the world have English as a second language, so your job would be to help them fill in the citizenship forms, make sure that their paperwork is in order and help identify any issues that might arise."

"Uh huh," I nudged my glasses.

"Don't look so worried, you'd be trained and you'll also shadow people for the first month or so but the job role will also involve financial planning. We've got a good accountant here now but she'll be going on maternity leave soon and she wants to work from home as a tax consultant after she has the baby, so we'll be hiring two people for that role," she ran a hand through her hair.

"So, you'd be with someone else for that part of the job," she finished.

"Does it involve identifying areas where we can cut costs or spend more?"

"It will, you'll produce your figures but the final decision comes down to regional management and that's above my pay grade, I just write the report and let the committee decide."

She went on to tell me about the visa requirements and the paperwork I'd need beforehand as well as a few other things to simplify the process. It all hinged of course on me applying officially for the job back in Australia and of course they had to do their bit.

"We have to inform the right department that we require a non native for the job. Do you think you might apply for residency yourself?"

"I would," I replied, "I've got a partner now although it's early days but we were involved back in Australia years ago," I glanced at Karin, "but this job would be perfect, it's a bit different to what I do back in Australia but there are some similarities as well."

"Good, so you'd be living with your partner?"

"Presumably, we haven't discussed that yet but it'll be on the table tonight."

"No problem," she nodded at Karin, "anything you'd like to add?"

"No, nothing at all, we should take you on a tour of the office though."

I was taken on a tour of the office then and got to meet a few people, it was quite a small office but it was cosy and we headed back to Lena's office where she printed out some information about the services they offered. She also gave me the employee manual, in English but I asked for a Danish copy as well.

"So as I can at least get a start on learning Danish. I've got friends back home in Australia who can speak Danish."

"Fantastic, well," she clicked Print, "from what I've heard and observed today you'll be a perfect fit for our team, I'll also give you the job description so you can tailor your CV to suit."

While she was printing the Danish instructions and job description out I called Astrid.

"Hey, how was it?"

"Good, I'll tell you more when I see you. Where are you now?"

"The Botanical Gardens, we'll come to you it's only ten minutes by bike."

"Oh, I'll come to you then, I'm just leaving now."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive, if I'm going to live here then I need to get to know my way around."

She sent me instructions via phone anyway and so I merely followed them to the gardens where Anna was dying to know the outcome.

"I've got a second interview back in Australia but I got through the first one with flying colours," I tapped the folder in my backpack.

"Is that normal?" Anna looked up at Astrid.

"It's normal enough," she rose and grabbed her bike, "but I'm hungry, what about you?"

"I had something to eat at the office but I could use a coffee and maybe a bit of cake to celebrate," I grinned.

We rode over to a delightful little café on Fiolstræde, which has to be one of my favourite streets, it has that rustic Old World atmosphere. I had coffee and a slice of cake but Astrid and Anna both had smørrebrød, Astrid insisted on paying for everything and I guess I was just too dumbstruck to put up a fight. In a matter of days the idea of living and working in Denmark had gone from a fantasy to something that might actually happen. It brought back faint recollections of an earlier time when I could've moved over here but I pushed those memories back down and forced myself to focus on the here and now.

We rode over to the Round tower known locally as Rundetaarn, and walked up to the top to savour a bird's eye view of Copenhagen. Anna walked all the way around it with her phone in an attempt to film a three hundred and sixty degree view. On the way back home we stopped off at a souvenir shop in Strøget to pick up things for my mum and sisters, as well as ourselves. A challenging thing under the circumstances because there's so much there that we would need another suitcase just to fit it all in. Australian customs officers get dollar signs in their eyes when people declare what they bought overseas but don't get me started on that one!

Once back at home it was a quick change and then we rode over to Astrid's parents' house because even though it was a five minute walk we needed to drop the bikes off again, we were flying out the next night.

"They will be here if you decide to come back," her mother reassured us.

"We should be back," I glanced at Astrid, "if my job application is successful."

Astrid blushed and it occurred to me that I hadn't asked if she'd told her parents yet and that turned out to be the case because she coughed.

"I haven't told them yet."

"Told me what?"

"We're in a relationship."

"Oh," her mother blinked, "well, congratulations," she leaned over to give me a hug, "I knew there was something I liked about you, I prayed for you after we met the first time," she let go of me, "it looks like God answered my prayer after all."

Considering my experience with Christians and the LGBT community I didn't know where to look or what to say but I smiled and nodded anyway.

We spent a few hours with them and while we were there, her mother gave us two presents, I got a Danish/English dictionary and Anna got a Danish hat. It was very similar to one we'd just bought for her earlier but I kept my mouth shut! When we finally left her mother and father embraced us and I'll never forget the words her mother said to me.

"I prayed this would happen, you meant so much to her for so many years."

"Did she mean that?" I asked Astrid a little while later.

"She did," Astrid nodded, "you were such a big part of my life. I've told her a lot about you."

"Not too much I hope, I'm not a saint."

"I know but neither am I, so let's not beat ourselves up about it."

There's so much more I could add but I think this tale is about finished and by that I mean, the past is done and dusted or as Shakespeare put it in The Tempest; what's past is prologue. Everything that happens now is completely up to us.

There were certainly issues to sort out when we got back. Rodney was opposed to our move over to Denmark because as he put it, "she's an Aussie not a fucking Dane, it's cultural vandalism!"

I have no idea what that man reads but he's got a mind like a sieve. Nevertheless, Penny filed the application to leave the country, which had the caveat that we would return every year so that he could spend time with his daughter. All that is up in the air of course now that he's sitting in a jail cell awaiting trial. Bail was refused by the judge because of the flight risk, he could just vanish over the border and hide out somewhere else.

I've agreed to help Robyn with exports of clothes to Denmark, she's still in contact with the women who were working with Sigrid and Louise all those years ago, so I'll be taking orders to them and speaking of Sigrid and Louise, they're here now to take us both through a Danish lesson. Penny has put the dinner on and Anna has finished her homework.

Astrid has called to tell me she loves me. My life has come full circle and despite all the drama that has gone on over the last few weeks and months I feel as if I'm in control of my destiny. There is no time for regrets and no need for encores. What is past is done, only the future remains and I hope it is a bright one, despite the long Nordic winter nights!

Susan.

EPILOGUE

I thought I'd add an epilogue now that Christmas is just around the corner. They call it Jul here and I've just come back from a Christmas market. I swear to God it is bitterly cold here! Neither of us knew the meaning of cold until we experienced winter here but we've bought winter coats, one can never have too many coats here.

It's been six weeks since I arrived here and the job at ICS is even better than I could have imagined in my wildest fantasies. They're a fantastic bunch of people to work with, today I had my first solo session with a client whose name I can't mention for obvious reasons. It was a pretty easy case and the feedback I got from Lena was helpful and interesting.