All Comments on 'Glimmer'

Confrontation?

Not bad. I'd have preferred a longer more thorough confrontation, but still not bad.

Well that was certainly BTB to the max. Well told. Pretty clear and concise except what happened to his non-children when Stephanie shot and killed their father? Did Caroline become a single parent at that point? It might have been interesting to hear more from Caroline - her reasons and explanations and the fallout from his dissemination of information to all those involved, but hey, you can't have everything! Good story. Thanks for the effort.

"You have to get your story out there," she said. "If you don't then Caroline will and believe me that will paint you in a far worse light than that of an unknowing cuckold. How about an abusive husband? or someone who is abusing his kids? People will believe that shit, and when we go nuclear on her she is going to hit back with everything she has got. Get your digs in first, and people will be less likely to believe any counter accusations. There will be some that do, but you can't help that."

Or how about a different story from her? It could be that he has been a willing cuckold all along and had just recently changed his mind and was trying to pretend that he hadn't been OK with it all along. Hell, that it had been his idea to begin with (and her pretending to hide it was part of his fetish). Caroline had only agreed to it because of how much she loved him and didn't want to lose him. He had pulled out that prenup to cheat her (that bastard), using the things she had done for him as evidence.

So yeah, he did have to strike first.

Love to see the process that turned the demonic evil bitch into what it became.

5 *

Excellent story, although The wife still got off without real retribution

Good story!

5

I understand why the MC didn't want to know what his Ex has to say. But I'm interested how she could explain her behavior.

Excellent. 5*****

Well written but it was a boilerplate story that had a few holes in it.

The writing is good, but you needed to let the wife explain "why". Not for the MC for the readers.

One of the best I have ever read. Congratulations. This one makes my favorites list and you are now one of my favorite authors. Outstanding job on this one particularly the excellent well drawn believable characters. The story has a laser like k focus on the pathos of the main character as he deals with her s world collapsing. Excellent writing.

5 stars

Loved it. Well written and a fun read. I know it is against the story’s thrust, but I would’ve also enjoyed some blathering from the ex as to why and how she could justify having him get the snip. 5 stars.

5⭐ for me.

Even if everything works a little too easily in your case...... prenuptial, business, home.....

Still, it's a good story.

Absolfuckinglutly loved it.

Very good, but my two comments are that his reaction to the two kids didn't seem real. Despite what was proved, he had loved them unconditionally, and I can't see him just dumping them cold turkey. Second is the lack of anything from the cheating wife left a hole in the story. Did she ever care for him? How did this all happen? What happened to her and the children, especially with her lover dead? Still a good 4 stars from me.

I liked it, very clinical and written week.

gave it a 4, could have been a 5 if the ex was killed also. Also you they say he deserved it, but wasn't she married. She had 2 kids by daddy bill and only Bull deserves death?

My only comment is that toddlers lack guile and would never be able to keep "Daddy Bill" a secret. I understand why you included it. I'm just not certain I believe the husband would have never heard that before.

Oh, and it's a minor thing but au pairs live with a host family. That bitch was a babysitter.

So Caroline still had sex with Bill.

It was Bill she loved.

Now she lost all her men.

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Nice story, I liked it a lot.

Yes the actions Gary did was quite doable in real life.

Yes I do like that Gary didn't allow for Caroline to talk to him.

What is the use anyway...

This was quite a quality story, the writer was able to convey the pain of Gary's

and the action flowed very well.

Thanks Pastmaster

Enjoyed the story, would have added an extra star if we understood Caroline’s motives for both the affair and treatment of her husband.

Another BTB story that is pure fantasy. Pre-nup may prevent Caroline from getting any portion of the company, but courts will equalize the marital assets by taking other stuff. The concept of being sole name on house deed is both stupid and, again, irrelevant, as the house is marital property. In other words, just a lot of silly fantasy having no bearing on real world.

I'm sorry, what? He just turns his back on the children he raised immediately? Wants no explanation from the wife? Then we don't learn the outcome for the wife after the lover is killed? The premise in the story is good but these points needed to be addressed for a complete tale.

Well written. Pretty standard stuff for an LW story.

Having him let Caroline explain and having her give an honest account of what she did, with no hysterics and no excuses from the cheaters handbook, could have added a lot to this story.

For me when there's no interaction between the spouses that really eliminates a lot of the potential emotional impact of the story.

An excellent story. Well written, so not much for the haters to complain about. 5 stars for your efforts. Thank you for the entertainment.

Munchie184

This guy is horrible. He just lets his kids go? They weren't his biologically but come on. Usually I have so much sympathy for men in this position, but not here. His reactions aren't believable at all. No matter what the wife did he should still care about the kids.

Great story. Well written.

Great story. Sucked me in from the beginning. There simply was nothing Caroline could have said to excuse her behavior.

One mystery I have...if Stephanie shot Bill when she found him and Caroline together, what stopped her from shooting Caroline?

I usually don't like the nuclear option but this was well written. 5*

This is a generally well-written pastiche of many themes found in very similar LW stories. It was a fun read, though it often felt like re-reading a story I’d read a while ago. There were parts that I didn’t understand. For example, I’m probably not well informed, but I didn’t know there was a way to get the equity out of one’s home except by selling it.

Great. A pattern story, but well executed for sure. D

Good story with all the right anger elements (cheating wife, vasectomy, not his kids). The confrontation was lacking though I understand why. What exactly could she say? Why would she betray him like this for their entire marriage? I hope people like her don’t exist in real life in great numbers. Evil

I would agree with the comment below, that I'm also curious about Carolin's side of the story, however, It can be pointless… in a way...

On the one hand, you as a writer will face the decision in which way you gonna plot Carolin's side of the story and there are only two ways, as I can see, it can go:

1. The way she "explains" and "justifies" her actions via various unbreakable circumstances on her road. Your pick.. blackmail from the boss as the start of the affair; CIA operation where she was integrated into the boss's environment as a mole due to his secret ties to mafia/foreign intelligence while he was working on secret government project/ even childhood mental trauma or real example where it’s normal – according to how her parents sided with her, her father could be a willing cuckold and she is not even his daughter and where mommy bringing lovers to home was OK, so she just followed mothers steps where husband is a free meal ticket, and lover is for babies and enjoyment, etc.

2. The way where she is just a psycho slut but I don’t see what is new here for us… or who cares…

On the other hand, maybe you take it as a challenge and surprise us with an unforeseen twist, who knows :D

Anyway, well written but sad BTB. 5 stars from me

Every cliche known to man/womankind. Cheating with her boss. The kids aren’t his. The loving, patient secretary. The impossible prenup. The shark lawyer. Suing everybody and his dog. On and on.

Best told story in this category in a long time. Thanks. The buildup was excellent and i really felt the guy's pain. I wanted to go nuclear too. I'll watch for your pieces now.

Excellent story, thank you for that.

There’s still a lot of meat in the bone. I hope you see where that can go. You’ve definitely left us hanging with the confrontation. Beyond that I’d love to hear how Caroline was shunned by all and had to resort to selling her blood to make ends meet.

Yes, I enjoyed the story. Although the pedantic side of me... the one with "Trust Busting" experience and understanding of claw backs for marital funds used to avoid/escape marital breakups, does tremble a little. Your USA relationship/marriage laws are crazy enough. As are the US version of Pre-nups (Contracting Out agreements) that seem unique to USA and different to the entire rest of the western world. Anyway, many thanks for sharing your well written story. It was fun. Cheers.

Very well done. I enjoyed it. I'll echo all the comments before me in saying I would have appreciated reading the wife's justification and excuses.

Oh.. and him at least telling her about her little fuck up with the birth control wrapper.

The long detailed description of planning how to get proof and how to get divorced is boring. It’s always boring in this kind of story but it’s always there. And the cheater gets shot for cheating! And the hero’s next wife was loyally by his side the whole time! Cliché city. Haha. So many clichés.

I am not a big fan of BTB stories, but if there had to be one that I liked, this one would be it. It would have been nice to have included a sympathetic portrayal of Caroline's emotions and motivations, or a tiny insight into Bill's personality, but of course had you done that you would have been run out of LW on a rail. Maybe Caroline and Bill had a long-term love that predated our aggrieved hero, but Bill had knocked up Stephanie and (since he is a good man, or was one until Stephanie shot and killed him) he stepped up and married her, leaving Caroline high and dry? So she married our hero. Question: Why did Caroline want him to have a vasectomy? After all, she was on the pill due to Bill. Anyway, nicely done. 5* from me. JBE

A bit too dark for me. These sort of stories simply make no sense.

Not bad. Four stars. But marital assets were used to buy out the partner, putting the money into the business. Any smart lawyer would have gone after that, and gotten it for her, likely fifty percent. It might have even damaged the prenup, unlikely but possible. JPB

Not a bad tale. The tax and legal wrangling was petty far off. I thought the foil tab was a great start until we found out the au pare knew and the son had a daddy Bill. Had tp be many other obvious clues.

Disappointing. Omits half the equation: the wife and her story and the relationship between husband and wife and wife and boyfriend. This makes the story lack emotion. I do admit to skimming after a while when it was apparent where the story was going.

A different approach leaving his wife and her paramour almost completely out of the story. Gary tells the whole story with Michelle as his side kick. Caroline is minimally included and Bill only by name. Stephanie is included to provide Bill's DNA and eventually to provide final justice against Bill. Lawyers as needed to deal with the legal stuff.

Gary's planning was elegant and possibly even legal. Since he used his own money and personal loans to buy the extra portion of his company because his partner "had to" sell, Caroline did not need to be involved.

The only part that doesn't feel right is his cold bloodedness toward the children. His logical thinking was correct. They aren't his kids and his wife would probably fight to keep him away from them, if for no other reason than to get a better deal for herself. So, he realistically has to set them aside. However, his lack of emotion over that decision is chilly. Just because you do what you have to do, most people still have to deal with the emotions. For all the other players, Gary's anger is the overriding emotion. But the innocent kids? Brrrr.

Over all, a very good story and it was great that he came out the other end in good shape and with a bright future.

I agree with the majority of commenters, this was a very good story with the angst building to the very end. Not a critique but rather a desire that there be a part 2 - the aftermath of 9 years of deception and what happens to the three main characters over time. Sure, the statement "How many children should we have" points to that future but I'm sure you'd do a great job building a fitting conclusion.

A second part from her perspective and aftermath would be wonderful. Well done.

Loved the story but one page short. Not sure why you stopped where you did? 5*

At least there was no snot, like: "I've considered these children my own for so long. How can I just give them up? I felt responsible for their lives..."

Great loved it

Somehow quickly Michelle took it into circulation. In the first marriage he was an ignorant cuckold, in the second he will be a meek henpecked... Life was a success!

Very nice story, well thought out. I wanted the wife to suffer more, but in the end all she had was two kids and a job. I would have like to hear more from her about how crappy her life was, but that is a minor point.

Definitely need a part 2 to read carolines sode of the story and the aftermath of the divorce and death of her lover . Hope the author writes a sequel

Bravo! Very good. Would have liked to see him demand that the birth certificates be changed and his name removed from the kids

Holy crap, where to start?

BTB + no sex = juvenile revenge wish fulfillment. Basic math. But then you drone in and on for paragraph after paragraph about the legalese, thereby ensuring that your target audience of emotionally stunted man-children glosses over and skips right to the part where the stand-in for all their rejections gets “owned”. Seriously, why even bother?

Would be a good idea to write a part two of this story from the wife’s perspective. The why’s and how’s are key to these BTB stories, and leaving that out almost seems like taking a shortcut…the fact her family sided with her, and Bills wife stayed with him says there is a huge chunk of the story is missing. Wouldn’t say lazy writing, but will affect your ratings for a story that was quite good otherwise.

Of course someone will write a sequel, some day. The fruit are dragging on the ground. Reality is easy to ignore, but impossible to escape. And I will let others point out the obvious plot faults: A five year old keeping quiet about "Daddy Bill!", an enraged wife shooting her husband dead as he fucks his lover, but she doesn't shoot the woman? Really?

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But all that, whether intentional or not, feeds perfectly into the sequel. Obviously Bill and Caroline weren't just fucking around, but were in love and wanted a family together. The dumb cuck, whom she met in a bar, was found to be useful to her and Bill. Eventually Bill and Caroline would have sought lucrative divorces and lived happily ever after. After the sequel explains the origins and plans for their secret "marriage (finally!), it will deal with the obvious questions of who knew and how did they manage to keep it so secret. What were the ramifications of her exposure as a cheating whore and a fake wife? Then there's the continuing revenge against her parents who also must have known. Caroline's parents will try to help her raise the children now that she's a single parent, IF the sequel does not include Caroline being injured in the shooting. Maybe Caroline is no longer capable to raise the children? And Gary is still on the birth certificate as the legal father and guardian. Gary will of course petition the court for full custody of the children, for one reason only: to bankrupt Caroline and her parents. It will cost them a bundle to fight the custody battle, which Gary will withdraw, for the sake of the children, after the money has been spent. Gary will also make Caroline pay the cost for his vasectomy reversal. But wait, there's more!

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Yeah, the sequel will be fantastic. I can't wait. I hope you write it. Thanks for the effort.

three stars

where was the bitch burn?

he divorced her, held her to the terms of the pre nup, and told their friends and family the truth, how is any of that revenge or bitch burning?

Captured the angst of the complete and callous betrayal really well. Love the admin - she was very focused and made things happen. Story really needs an epilogue though, and I feel sorry for the kids - they lost both dads.

Great story - would have loved to hear an explanation from the wife

First of all, it was thankfully very short, but the back story added nothing.

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Why does he say he needs more info? She's taking presumably unneeded birth control pills (hiding them quite well!) and has a hidden phone. What does he want, a neon arrow with the word "cheater" flashing over her head?

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"You need more information," Except for DNA on the kids, no he doesn't. He's got hard evidence of her cheating.

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Okay, I've been the block long enough to know that complaining about "suing the company for not enforcing their morality clauses" is a lost cause, but I just have to say, what company would have a company policy that EXPOSES them to lawsuits? Companies devise policies to PROTECT them from lawsuits.

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Normally, I'd say that the number of years that he had accepted the children is his own would work against him, and it still might, but, "DADDY BILL!!" might help his case.

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"Since the person your wife is 'fraternizing' with is a senior executive of the firm, there is no way that the company can claim that they didn't know what was going on." - Just because her lover is a senior executive doesn't mean the "The Company" as an organization knows.

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"The PI I used came up empty." - The PI never caught hm going to Caroline's house? He goes there often enough to have his own key!

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If he's going to be going after back child support, etc., he's not going to be in a position to get visitation.

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If she didn't want to have more kids, why not get her tubes tied? Then no birth control pills, and if for any reason he wanted to have kids with someone else, then he'd be able to.

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Too many of the usual cliches.

A familiar story, done in a familiar way, but told really well. Really pulled me in, and I found myself pulling for Michelle even tho she seemed a bit cold. BUT, something about Caroline's feelings, thoughts, reasons, background- that would have been useful and interesting to read. As 'SunnyU2' said, we needed to know 'why'?

I liked it a lot. Well written…well paced. But…

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Lack of any final conversation with the Slut robbed READERS of knowledge about the whys of the slut’s behavior. As well….it would have been IMPOSSIBLE for the kids to know about “Daddy Bill” and keep it completely secret from Gary. The au pair…sure. The kids? No effing way. Finally…her parents must have also known….so readers not knowing why THEY treated him so bad was another nit in the plot.

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But overall….a really good effort.

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5 *****

WOW! I loved it. That's all I can say. I don't usually think to highly of the scorched earth path. It was called for here. And I think it's true, the kids will have very little memory of him because they are so young. The only thing that might take away from the story, was bill being killed by Stephanie after being caught with Caroline again. Now the kids will have no daddy Bill, and Stephanie will spend a large chunk of her life paying for Bill and Carolines bad behavior. O-well, no story is perfect, but you just came as close as I've seen recently. 5-stars!

Interesting but the wife never told us why she did it and her parents obviously believed her. Rather routine but the children were left fatherless. For me the whole thing crashed and burned in the last two paragraphs-just fantasy land.

It felt like the majority of the story focused on the minutia of hero's financial machinations. That *can* be interesting, when in relatively small doses compared to the meat of the story, but it just took up far too much of the oxygen here, particularly given how unrealistic it all generally was (the big lawsuit settlements, etc.).

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And fortunately, while I haven't been in the MC's position, his attitude towards his children - yes, his children - seemed callus and unrealistic as well. His "anguish" over what to do regarding them seemed paper-thin given how quickly and completely he tossed them aside after the DNA results came back. As a father, that struck me as even more unrealistic than his financial paper-pushing.

Maybe a part 2 written from the wife's point of view with arrogance. Then she gets blindsided and burned.

This guy is the biggest pussy to come down the LW pike in years. No wonder his wife was screwing somebody else. If I were a woman I would want a man between my legs also.

The MC, Gary, did nothing but whine and cry. He hadn't made a decision that wasn't made for him by a woman in years. The wife made all the decisions around the house even though it apparently went in one ear and out the other, i.e. maintenance of the house that was neglected and he complains that she nagged him about it all the time, and he still never manned up.

Then, his secretary comes in and makes all the decisions when she finds him crying in his office after he had confirmed the affair, then proceeds to direct the rest of his life, thereby superseding the place of the wife and effectively becoming his partner. And this doesn't even begin to address his attorney, also a woman, who by the way was selected by his secretary.

As to the story itself, I would have to review, but I don't think the author missed a single cliche to the LW genre. A complete list of which would be too lengthy to address here as this comment is getting long enough as it is.

It was well written structurally which saved it from getting completely bombed but that, to me was the only saving grace.

Been done before, been done better. Thanks for the effort.

Doc

That was just too darn good! Everyone should have friends, coworkers, and lawyers who are that good. Thank you for sharing that. 5*****!

All of the litigation for "alienation of affection" and "failure to follow fraternization policies" is just plain stupid. And the MC being in shock? Also stupid. It started out strong, but went down hill.

Very well done

Thanks for writing

Loved it. Discovery and swift execution. I couldn't understand Caroline's parents siding with her after birthing 2 babies with someone other than her husband.

Alright, so Bill is dead. What happened to Caroline? Hearing some of the fallout over the distribution of all the evidence would have been nice.

It may have been well written but I’ve read similar stories by so many other authors on this site it’s seem like you guy just rehash the same things over and over. No one ever explains why his wife did the things she did. Why does the husband always do or say anything when he finds out. BTW he should have fucked her the weekend before the serving just for revenge. Came on her face and fucked her ass. What a pussy.

A great read; likely one of the best of all time, thus far. The author is talented, both as a writing craftsman and as a storyteller.

I can easily walk away from this with nothing but good memories, and likely to re-read in the future. Nothing in the back of my mind to question or criticize; the power of fiction prevails quite nicely.

All the evildoers are in their crypts, as they should be, and no further explanations or rationale are necessary. The story is complete to a point where it may safely rest.

The reason for why the wife chose her path is immaterial, but is evident if the reader cares to look more deeply. That character deserves no further time.

Parting, the urge to want Uncle Bill to get what he deserved was handled well by his wife. May she find happiness in the future. No loose ends here. Quite a tale!

A very well constructed story. The legal aspects were quite involved and obviously the author is knowledgeable in this area and that did a lot to create a feeling that this was going in a verly well planned direction. It was fairly obvious that Michelle had her sights on Gary from early on in the story. I did find it rather amazing that this affair went on clandestinely for nine years with no one finding out. People just aren't that good at keeping secrets. The kids would have said something during that time. How do you convince little ones to not say anything about someone they knew intimately as "Daddy Bill". Although it all seemed tow work out too perfectly for Gary and too badly for Caroline abd certainly for Bill, I thought it was one of the better stories of this type and gave it a 5* rating,

I would have needled the ex-father-in-law a bit by asking if he was sure he was Caroline's father since his wife was so comfortable with paternity fraud...

One of the very few BTB stories that belong in that category. Definitely a 5

Great story! I'm sorry for a "but", but it was never explained, why she did it. She went through quite an extensive program to keep him from finding out and emotionally seemed to show him love. Also, why the vasectomy? She's got some explaining to do. If I were the MC, I would have demanded it as part of the divorce. What happened to the bastard kids, with the sperm donor dead? Still an interesting story.

Could have been much better if you had let the wife talk. About the same as the “and I deleted all her messages without even listening to them” trope. Boring cop out that is more unsatisfying than anything else.

5 stars and well worth the read plus it matters not about a few minor holes in the plot.

No, the MC did not really burn the bitch.

He left her exactly what the SLUT brought into their relationship after nine years - nothing.

You told a great story and made a really unusual start. Was really fun to read that. Clear statements with clear action against the cheaters. 5*!

Clearly shut wife was just using him as a golden meal ticket. Never really gave two shits about him, always kept her boss no. 1, no excuses other than that can explain her reasons. Her attempted at explainatiin would have been pure bullshit anyways. They way she was so cold and calculated made clear she never had any real feelings for her 'husband.' No mercy warranted. Wonder what she thinks now her lover boy was blasted.

Entertaining -- 5*

Because almost all of the other legal actions described (suing for alienation of affection, suing the wife's employer, suing for "back child support," etc.) are LW cliches that don't work in real life.

I wish i could give it ten stars!

A good read. Felt that the ending a little abrupt. eg: what happened to the ex wife and the children.

Excellent. Really.

The confrontation is the crux of these stories a d we were deprived of that in this story. I understand why that is and how the husband could feel that way, but readers need to see inside her head just a little bit.

What a great story. I would have enjoyed hearing what Caroline said, but you tactfully avoided that conversation. Five stars, ten if possible.

It was nice divorce fantasy. Just too perfect.

Good drama, kept me on edge of my seat reading until we get to page 4, in which I find out we will not be hearing why the wife did all this.... Then you tied everything up with a nice little bow by putting him with the secratary. So 4*. Any man would hav e to ask why, and you didnt do th e work to try and come up with an answer. Disappointing conclusion to a thriller.

Great story. I would like to hear what her justification was.

Very well written, of course. The plot was not new, but well executed. I completely understand why he didn't want to hear her excuses, but I would have liked to hear WHY she did it.

Learning your spouse had purposely denied you the opportunity to have children and then deceived you into raising her lover's children would be devastating. I would never allow myself to be in her vicinity unless there was a very large person there restraining me. The kids are innocent, but maybe they would be better off if their mom was dead. The woman is pure evil.

Comprehensive BTB story, well written, and good ending. I did find it rather cold hearted and rightly so.

Well done. 5 stars only cause there aren't 6 available.

4* while a great BTB, there is the vagueness of "why". For that long of an affair, that's problematic. I know she tried to explain, but it leaves the story unfinished and not in a good way. Also, was she not there when her lover was shot?

5 stars!

Pretty standard cheating wife cliche filled stuff. A little to clinical in spots. A lot of “how to” detail that at times made it seem more like a report than story. The father’s immediate dismissal of the children with no internal conflict seemed unrealistic. But it was very well written, which made it an enjoyable read.

I liked your story up to the point of the confrontation. You had Gary play all high and mighty about not hearing a word that Caroline had to say, but I would have liked to known how long the affair had been going on, was she seeing Bill before they were married, how did they get together, why did she convince Gary to have a vasectomy, why did she stayed married? Leaving all of this information out created a huge hole in the story for me. The murder of Bill by his wife, is a poor excuse of revenge for Gary, now his wife is in jail, if he has kids with his first wife they are in the foster care system now, everybody loses, except Gary. You could have come up with a better, less lethal way to get even with Bill for his part in the affair.

I’m sure the BTB crowd will love this story, the only thing you missed was putting Caroline in a Mexican cat house.

Even though I had issues with the story, I want to thank you for putting in the time and effort. KS