by StangStar06
I liked it. Not as good as some of your stories but I've read a hell of a lot worse and let's face it, most of your characters sense of humor is pretty damn funny.
You had 4 stars until the end. It was over down so you lost a star. You have to play all 4 quarters.
Also, you fell afoul of my crusade to save the language. One of the biggest issues deviling our language today is people using "trendy" words that they feel make themselves sound well educated, but in fact shows the opposite (at least to those of us who are truly well educated). Words often can have two meanings one literal and one figurative. If you say you "ran into" your friend at the store the figurative meaning is accepted (that you saw him maybe even chatted a bit). However, if you were running down the ailes and smacked into him then you literally "ran into" your friend at the store. The use of "literally" in describing the incident would be called for because the more common acceptance of the "figurative" meaning requires clarification. Your use of "literally" in the story was wrong because there was no figurative sense of what you were writing that could have caused confusion. Too many people are using it today as though it adds emphasis to what they are saying and many more because they think it makes them sound smart. Remember that idiot politician who exclaimed that the republicans wanted to "literally take women back to the 50s"? That would required the creation of a time machine. It was actually a "figurative" statement.
Thanks for the read and I hope you don't take my criticisms too personally. No matter what others on this site say, you are a writter and words/language are your tools, thus you should take pride in mastering them.
Enjoyed this one, and as for the last one, hey it is fine if there is some forgiveness in the world now and again
I loved this story. I'm glad mustang man has regained his senses. Well done...
After last week's less than stellar performance, it's good to see the old Stang back. I liked this one a great deal.
Keep it up!
First the author as narator was right. It does not matter why she cheated only that she cheated. Second why do people always say you need closure. Like talking about it will make any difference at all. I'm in the talking business, I talk to people for a living. Infidelity is about the cheater not the cheated so why does the cheater need to be understood? They don't and yet it is easy to understand them. They are worthless pieces of shit, simple really. I am not a marriage counsellor I mainly do grief counselling for the military and other things. When someone comes to me with a situation involving infidelity I tell them the less they know the better and just get on with your life. I have happy patients.
I enjoyed this story. It was much better than last weeks disaster. I will never understand a few tid-bits when it comes to cheating spouses, one is the reasoning for committing adultery ( boredom) , two is it didn't mean anything, three is, if I ever thought it would cost me my marriage I never would've done it, four is I was flattered that another person found me attractive, I mean really WTF? This skanks excuse for fucking around on her husband whom she proclaims that she loves dearly was she was bored, he's at work all day going to places while she sits at home on her fat ass not doing diddly! Did the stupid slut ever thought about getting a fucking job? How was fucking some douchebag going to decrease her boredom? She's just another stupid slut who thought her husband loved her so much he'd forgive her gutter trash activities. The idiotic notion that sex with someone other than your spouse doesn't mean anything or it was just sex & it never hurt their marriage is just beyond comprehension, if the sex didn't mean anything then why do it? The moronic attitude that a spouse loves the adulter so much that they'd forgive the act of allowing another to violate their bodies/ marriage is ridiculous, just because you love someone that doesn't mean you allow them to take that love for granted or assume that love will always be there regardless of your fuck ups. The fact that love wasn't enough to keep this cum sluts twat shut means she never should be married, she doesn't know what she wants & she has a different difinition on love & marriage. I think it's very disrespectful to bring another man/woman into your marital bed/house, because you're not only defiling the marriage your defiling the home you've built in hopes of your future. The fact that she was still fucking around yet still was trying to get him back is beyond dumb. I don't understand the whores logical thinking that if she gets the new girlfriend gangbange/rape he'd come back to her, why would any man want to stay with a slut who'd fuck & suck anything with a dick without fear of his dick falling off. Anyways I liked this story, I really don't understand the whole you need closure BS, what does it matter why they did it or how long or how many participants?! the fact that it was done was enough, asking these dumbass questions will only get you a shit load of excuses that sounds dumb. I really did miss the old stangstar, but I can see him through this story. I actually would've liked to hear more of the fat slut. I absolutely can't wait for next weeks masterpiece .... I hope it's a bit longer... I love your long stories, I usually open a bottle of wine & read'em..
Good man finds good woman - keeps her
Then we find out about the slut puppy - we never did get the info on the other neighbor stopping by to get his piece who decided to borrow the mower instead?? Or so it seemed?
Our hero seems to have allowed that one to slide and anything thing else the cow neglected to tell the truth about -
The story was well set up and well executed - thanks -
very "business" like - especially when they tried to drug the wife to be. liked it a lot. 5
Back in prime shape. After a bunch of duds (no offense intended), a good story.
The ex is a real piece of work. I don't think that she ever looked in the mirror. The failure to protect Shazz better surprised me. But even walking into the Lion's den is not recommended unless you have backup.
I loved the story, you really made this one work. the ending was fantastic. well done!!
one of your shortter stories but you held my attention and loved it , a happy conculsion..
Stang, you are about the best there is at writing this particular style of story. It's amusing, mostly upbeat, touches on a lot of the usual tropes everybody expects to see in this genre, and it leaves the readers with a good feeling at the end, Evil is defeated, virtue triumphs, all is right with the world. I've got some minor quibbles with a couple of word choices here and there, but nothing worth taking you to task over. I'm sure all the people who hated last week's story will love this one.
The problem is, it feels to me a little like a Tex Avery cartoon for adults, with Paul as the protagonist. It seems kind of silly to compare Paul to Droopy and Michelle to the Big Bad Wolf, but it's sort of apt, isn't it? I mean, we all knew how it was going to come out pretty much before we finished the first page. The only real question was how many times the Wolf was going to get a safe dropped on her head.
There's nothing wrong with writing stories like that, and I don't mean to imply that there is. But please, as much as people like these lighter (dare I say more frivolous) pieces, do not let responses like we saw last week dissuade you from attempting stories with more substance, as well.
Prefer your your conniving bitch wife/ ex wife . It was a good read . Ace you a five.
I really enjoy your stories short or long they are really good.
But the drugged drink was so obvious that I wonder why neither of them thought about it. Oh well, Michelle wouldn't have gotten jail time if it didn't happen that way I suppose.
Looking forward to Halloween and yet another great SS08 story.
PPP - with three different definitions. Are you really that good, or do you have a secret source for all these funny lines?
Well written and edited with a well thought out storyline.
Thanks for the read.
It really didn't matter that that the ending was fairly predictable - because the telling of the story was so thoroughly engaging. You have the ability to captivate your reader to a greater extent than almost anyone else writing on here. Thank you for the read.
Even though I'll never understand the obsession with Mustangs!
ss06 still disgruntled about being lambasted last week - and spouting passive aggressive bs in the beginning.
"After last week's stinker where I had the audacity to put two fictional characters back together"
The majority of the folks were not upset because you did a reconciliation - they were upset because
1. the logic was shitty
2. there was no other redeeming factor in the story in the form of subplot, humor, characters etc...
3. they felt that you could do better and criticism could serve as a tool.
Just wanted to point out a small flaw in your story. You CAN sell a house with a tax lien on it without paying the lien first. The title company distributes the money paid by the buyer; any money remaining, after settling the mortgage and taxes, would go to the owner.
I thought last weeks was pretty good but this one here is Great. Love the main character. Please continue
Shasta is nice and stupid
stupid because even she know his ex was bad she trust her completely. or she like danger
i hate bad people but i hate nice & this kind of stupid people more
because they give bad people more power/confidence/chance to do bad thing
as for i write that she like danger because even when she understand that it's not coincidence that his ex meet her and she have something bad plan she want to become friend with his ex blindly
Finally a story where the man is not a wimp. After Stang's disaster last week, this one comes as breath of fresh air. The slut got what she deserved. 5 stars.
I nearly stopped when you mentioned halloween (grow up). But fucking struggled on through clich after clich until couldn't read another line without groaning in disbelief. You are paying tribute to the fucking idiot writers on site. We are not junkies needing a fix. Thanks for writing..3*
Heavy! But Light!
Ooops! That was Iron Butterfly!
Nevermind!
Fun read, now I'm late for work.
Michelle's revenge had 6 years backfire. Ha..Ha...Ha....
Nakedsub has a newer good Cruel Revenge story on SOL (storiesonline.net).
a story were the reason doesn't matter. She was assulted so it didn't matter.
Literotica needs a new section called "My Marriage Failed" and I'm an immature jerk . There wasn't a loving wife in this story. Yeah, his wife was a slut, but he held a grudge forever then almost walked out on the best thing that happened to him in a fit of immature stupidity.
Sadly the story is overly long, has little eroticism (this is Literotica after all) and the writing is full of cliches. Also its a strong hint that a story is a dud when six of the 9 first paras all start with the word "I". Big ego, little maturity, screwed up marriage - any surprise.
sometimes it a good plausible one, TK U MLJ LV NV
Thank you for writing.-Four pages is not short. You covered it well with out ramblilng. tom anon
after you've left one life for a new start over, the fickle finger of fate has a way of winding up on your front porch, TK U MLJ LV NV
Michelle claimed there was "nothing to do" there, and she was "bored".
Well then, why didn't she agree to move when he asked, and/or get a job?
between Paul and Shazz. Otherwise, this was a fairly bland story. Did Paul stomp on an innocent guy's foot or were there four bad guys?
and recorded to show the hubby... now why does THAT sound familiar...?
I mean ok, you've a tendency to a pattern in your stories but wasn't that going just a wee bit overboard... what was that one with the college professor...?
But I do have to agree that he should have GIVEN her a little more time of watching her to see what she did - the "sweetie", not the wife - and then he'd have not needed to UNpack... I mean really, if you're going to be that sensitive, just rent somewhere to store a truck with a trailer for the 'stang, and keep the truck loaded with the stuff you'll want to take when you bail... drive the 'stang onto the trailer, hook it down, and you're gone. Ten minutes tops.
A little weak in plot. I don't think I understand what went on when he went to pick up his stuff and the got back together. In addition, I think the jail term is not correct. She would not have received that kind of sentence without priors. With time off for good behavior, they call it different things in different states, she would not have still been in prison when he had the children. Need a little more work on plot devices and some clarity in writing. Starting off with an arrogant hero who claims he wants to head down the road, limits how relationships develop. Some good ideas in the story, tighten up the execution.
Thanks for the kind words for us Sandlappers. It's a pretty good place to live or as in my case, to come back. The story? Not so much. I like others of yours much better.
As always.. i loved it.. i can always depend on a twist from your stories.. this was a nice one.
Not going to say a negative thing about your writing, Stories are for entertaining.. I was entertained..
You too quickly made Michelle a slut. After 14 years, he didn't know he was married to someone with the morals, ethics, and character of a slut? That's pretty clueless. His cold response to her cheating made it look like he didn't really lover her all that much anyway. And then to ditch his 4-year love affair with Shaz after 5 seconds of seeing some guy put his arm over her shoulder? Hair trigger lack of confidence? This guy maybe should get to know the women he claims to love? Then give them the opportunity to explain their fuck-ups? Which is maybe related to some fuck-ups of his own? So his sixty minute exit turns into a few hours?
No reason he and Michelle should have continued to live so far from his job. He should have asserted himself more; would have saved his marriage, and established in her mind that they are a team, and will act according to what is best for the team. Why wasn't Michelle working, contributing to the team's home and future?
Yeah, a cute story, but not very satisfying. Thanks for the effort.
Why would he take 60 minutes to leave his first home? Why wouldn't he take all his stuff plus his 50% of the furnishings? Why would he leave his Jeep? And why would a woman 10 years younger than him just jump in his car and leave? Especially since there couldn't have been any room for her or her stuff in the Mustang when it was full of his stuff? Why would he go back at midnight t pack and leave? The time she most likely would be there? And why, on God's green earth, would Shasta want to be with a man that would run away from her after 4 years, without so much as a single word? This wasn't a man worthy or her trust or love. So to get to your ending was simply unbelievable. And it ruined the entire story.
I just reread this story and noticed something that I have thought of before. I read all the time about women saying to their husbands 'But you said you'd do anything for me, so give me a second chance'....well, that is why every man should take this advice. NEVER say anything without qualifying it with the word 'reasonable'!!! Seems like a simple thing to do, but it makes all the difference in the world. It's the difference between a woman thinking that a man will forgive anything, and a woman who knows that there are limitations on what she can get away with. Like a prenup this should be part of every man's life that is written in stone. And then having it engraved a foot deep in a four foot thick sheet of solid stainless steel just for good measure! Never assume that a woman won't try to scheme and plot to use the tiniest of things that she can twist to her advantage to get her way, that is just part of her being a woman. Don't give them something to use against you. If you have been using anything without adding reasonable, then start doing so. And be ready to explain exactly what your limits are on what you will and will not accept from her as a result. Be honest, both with her and yourself, and tell her upfront if infidelity is a deal breaker, and for God's sake don't expect her to be faithful if you don't intend to be as well. Everyone makes mistakes, but there is a huge difference between being raped and willingly fucking someone else. And that goes for men just as much as it does for women.
some of the comments and disagree with them. All stories can seem a little contrived but they're flights of imagination that a writer might be trying to capture. The Mustang and Jeep are recurring familiar characters. It helps me enjoy the fantasy when I just let myself go for the ride wherever it takes me without looking for the wizard of oz behind the curtain in every paragraph. All stories aren't perfect in every way for everyone and I don't care. I just like going for the ride. Thanks, I had fun reading this one. That's all I wanted ... Scotty
I yoyo between loving them and hating them. This one I hated.
I won't even go into the 60 minute plot mechanic which has no bearing on an otherwise boilerplate story. But the stupid bitch (Shazz) and her equally stupid bastard to-be were just begging to get themselves in trouble by trying to get back at the whore.
What would've happened had he been a bit late?
Would she have ever forgotten getting raped?
Would she have forgiven him for not being able to save her despite knowing what was about to happen?
Would he have ever been able to forget that three guys raped her and he couldn't protect her?
I read a comment before mine about giving the writer a bit of creative freedom. My counterpoint is that the readers wouldn't be so pissed off in the first place if they weren't treated like complete idiots.
It was different but good. The I was alone and bored and he did not work so they both had time on there hands and she tells him she loves him but it had been going on for a year. She was kinda a stupid bitch and than to track him down and try and split them up what a piece of work. It was humerous at times not sad but at the 2/3 point a loving story up until the end. 5 stars
Ron/cowboyridecc@yahoo.com
I don't know what to make of it? Oh I understand the story! But it is not the best maybe I don't know? Love you all! GREG. OH 90 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE.
This is one of my favorite SS06 stories. For the naysayers, I think you either get it or you don't. And I'm sorry for those of you who don't.
Gone in 60 minutes. I really like the story it had it's up's down's but this I got lonesome setting at home and the affair had not gone on to long Just. A. Year. She could have got her fat ass out and got a job to occupy her time but she probably would found someone new to slut around with.
Different but good. In my favorites and have read numerous times Do you think there will be any follow up story about the loving couple?
Mack
I have No Use For People who Drug and then Rape Someone .. They should all be taken Deer Hunting Once with a Deer Rack Tied to their head .. Or Let the People in Prison show them the Error of their ways ...
Shazz said they needed to go to Michelle's party even though she knew that Michelle would try something? Why? Why put herself through the aggravation even though she expected to see through the attempt and laugh at the ex-wife? It wasn't worth it. A mature person would just turn her back on Michelle and get on with life.
Otherwise, it was fun.
Another great story from stangstar. Great cars,cheating wives and one punch knockouts. Can't beat that in any LW story. Another for my favorites.
Good, but simple errors like this shouldn't slip through.
"I parked about a mile away from home in the strip mall and ran home through the woods."
A few lines layer.
"I went out to my car and brought back the folder with the divorce papers."
Who the hell would want to touch her diseased body
Fools wallow in shit and do nothing about it except bitch and whine. The wise remove themselves from shit and move on to what’s rightfully deserved in their lives and smile. That leaves a simple question, which side of the fence are you going to end up on ?! 5 stars !!!
I knew Michelle would pull some shit with Shazz. I wasn't sure she'd go as far as rape though.
Good story. There may have been some disconnects but I didn't notice. 5*
You lose 1 star for the rape drug (again!) and the poor planning about what they would do at the party. I mean, I see it coming a mile away, were they stupid going into the dragon's lair without a plan?
You said "Four hundred and twelve horsepower channeled through four nineteen inch wheels and sticky performance tires beats two legs every time."
Does that include stairs? Or a ladder?
Why did Steve become homeless after Callie divorced him? Could not be because Callie took him to the cleaners via the divorce. According to the story, Michigan is a community property state. They would s[lit everything fifty/fifty.
-
Pasqual
What I really don’t understand is why most of the stories in the Loving Wives category, are focused around lying, cheating sluts. I get that stories need a protagonist, but I don’t believe they deserve the focus of 90% of the story.
I really like this story. Took me a while to understand where you were taking us. Good job.
Ed
In my opinion this is one of SS06’s better stories. I like it a lot. One reason I like it so much is that it’s not ten or twelve pages long. It’s just short and sweet and to the point. Thanks, Stangster.
A very passive guy with trust issues I don't know how his girlfriend put out with him.
SHASTA IS A STUPID SLUT.....PLAYING FRISBEE IN ABIKINI WITH HANDSY MICHELLE....MC IS A STUPID CUCK....ALL TALK ABOUT 60 MINUTES YET HE US A WIMP
Great story bit for me i like the longer stories great job kno it was enjoyed n appreciated.
MC has trust issues. At least he acted fast to save Shazz at the party. I liked Shazz better than the MC. He almost blew it by racing out a second time. Shazz didn't remotely deserve that. He needs counseling so he isn't jumping at shadow's. Michelle was a monster.
Can't believe MC was about to bolt seeing Shazz talk to his ex after playing Frisbee with a guy who puts his arm around her for a few seconds (or less). Same ex btw who arranges for Shazz to be drugged and gangraped. Uggh.
The Mustang-engrossed author is one of the best in LW, but this story is not one of his better creations. Can't have positive feelings about his MC, and his touted-editor slipped up in a few places.
you should really watch the original Gone In Sixty Seconds from the 1970's. much better movie,much cooler cars. but that's just my opinion, I drive a datsun. ;)
I must be real old. When you wrote "grass exchange", I thought mowing each others yards. It never entered my mind about marijuana.
MC was a gutless coward who finally redeemed himself by saving Shazz from a gangbang rape. Those guys had to be idiots to do it in the men's restroom with all the people at the bar. Fine, Michelle was an utter bitch who was f$cking way more guys than Steve. Remember the guy Jim who was surprised to see him home early? She was already practicing to be the town bike. I can understand why he just wants to move on. Thankfully no kids. But what he saw in like 5 seconds with Shazz and the Frisbee and her talking to Michelle, with Shazz not having a clue she was being played, was beyond ridiculous. He never had closure and had full blown paranoia. Amazed Shazz stuck with him for four years. She was practically a saint. He was a coward. His only good act was to save her at the end. Not a likable character.
Real men drive Chargers, cucks drive Mustang's. Tbh, real men don't drive 'muscle cars' because real men don't have anything to prove or hide.
Don't believe me, just watch the millions of crappy TV shows about losers 'rebuilding/modding/etc' rusty landfill and then selling them to middle aged balding fat losers who were bullied at school, that always have a gay story about how their dad used to drive one, of course they miss out the bit where the dad was also an abusive alcoholic prick that beat their mum etc.
Hilarious, Michelle not only gets to live rent free in this losers mind he also has nothing better in his life to do that visit her. Talk about hung up. This cuck has it real bad. Got to wonder if he's the embodiments of the author because the author sure does like to be cucked.
He was ready to leave Shazz with no discussion because a guy put his arm around her?? Jeez, overreact much?
What is with this author stories? I mean, I like that his mc are not wimps that's truly what I like about this author, but then why do in all his stories the mc just straight out runs away, like he don't even talks to the cheating wife or confronts her, he talks to her only until the divorce is final, and finally let's not forget getting a better more younger etc etc girl. It's getting old.