All Comments on 'Good Day Sunshine'

Well done.

Very good. What happened to the shooter? 4 stars

not what I expected from this author

Tajfa, getting your face shot off tends to end the story of most protagonists.

"Then it disappeared. Not just his grin, but his entire face."

Well done, HDK! Glad you're still writing. I've always enjoyed the bits of humor you include in your stories. The early conversations between father and daughter were hilarious. Happy 200 stories on Literotica.

5

Nice. Thanks!

Interesting story.

Still some major unresolved questions at the point the story ended.

He overhears Shannon telling Serena that she had said a .22 wasn't a big enough gun to scare her husband so the douchebag blackmailer went out and got a .38. Yet, Dave saw no evidence of that exchange in her emails. So, when and how did that exchange happen? The emails implied she had cheated while in Vegas but, she never responded to those implications. To me, it seems like should would have vehemently responded to those implications.

When Serena is grilling Shannon in the hospital she denies cheating but, never really directly answers Serena's questions.

I know Dave comments that he knows all of f Shannon's tells when she's lying and he didn't see any of them but, like I said ... Lots of seemingly unanswered questions.

I have read the comments posted to date. Can't agree. Feel that Shannon did a LOT more in Vegas than going topless and that Blake had a lot of fun with her. But then again, the story is fiction, and I am not the author. So I will now shut up.

Congratulations on your "anniversary" of sorts. You are the best on the site of packaging a story with multiple plot lines into a concise tale, often just a single page. I think the Harold angle was a bit "clunky" and it kept me thinking more than embracing the storyline, to the point of distraction. Really liked the Serena character - reminds me of my oldest. 4.4*

For a pair of bare breasts?

Really ?

It went out of fashion on the beaches for many years.

From a rate of more than 50% of practitioners twenty years ago, it seems to be very low today.

Another great story! Thank you, HDK! Congrats on 200!

Fun story; loved the ending. Thought shooting scene bit much, but why not — certainly a way to get the reader’s attention.

Great read, lots of unanswered questions left loose...4*

HAHAHA! Damn, another HDK story to perk up my morning. Although I think that getting a bullet resistant vest might have helped his plan a bit (there are NO bullet PROOF vests - get a big enough firearm and you can shoot through them.)

But it seems like, at the end of the day, he was surrounded by les femmes who didn’t mind being naked as Jay birds around him. How come life is never quite that easy for me? LMAO

Surprisingly the round most likely to kill you if you are shot by one is the lowly .22lr. Better penetration than the bigger bullets. Not much stopping power, but more likely to be fatal.

That was as funny and entertaining as being shot in the chest by a .38 can possibly be. Great job again, another HDK classic. 200 stories. Impressive.

SHIT out of the frypan into the blazing fire! 3 young hot girls and 2 hot MILFs and a cracked sternum so no CPR. Good luck!

Nice story, I liked it.

Wow! The husband loves the wife so much that He lies to cover for her questionable behavior. I don’t believe the wife has gotten close to telling everything that went on her trip. The unresolved questions gets this a 5.

Oh John, you're so much smarter than your main character; smart enough to write an unusual and original story; 5* from me.

What a wonderful spin to the ending. Dave is lucky his gun shot wound was more serious. Interesting how Dave faked by out or wasn’t knowledgeable about things. Dave and Shannon will need to have a very private conversation about Harold to find out the truth. It was great the way Dave stood up for Shannon with the accusations of the family members. The romantic get away will be interesting for sure. Thank You!

Congratulations on your accomplishments on this site. You're a great writer. However, I expected better than you on this story. Seemed like a good start but halfway through you rushed it to a finish that FTDS needs to take up. How's a chapter 2 to earn a 5 instead of a 3?

Well written generally but a rather abrupt end.

4*

good husband

You made my Sunday with a new posting. Unfortunately they are too few and far between. As always this story is well written and enjoyable. I am hoping that the next installment of Lady in Red will be forthcoming soon. Thanks for your skill and hope you have a great summer.

Congrats on your 20th anniversary on Lit. as well as your 200th story being posted.

Thanks for sharing all your great stories with us.

I loved it!!!!! I LOVED the part about a man standing up for the woman he loves. 5 big stars.

Na… I don’t know…someone this stupid probably improves the population by not surviving getting shot while trying to confront a supposed lover of his wife. The premise that it’s all good at the end was just unbelievable.

Silly and fun ;-)

Wonderful 200th story from one of the very best. Congratulations and Thank You ! I lode your stories variety from lighthearted to erotic or romantic. Please keep them coming. 5 Stars

The writing and humour were up to HDK's customary high standard but the story itself was......., well it wasn't really a story. Too many questions left unanswered, too many ends left loose, it started with the MC being shot and ended with him drooling over various women's tits. Very disappointing.

I loved the reference to "Rocky Raccoon"! Great story.

Well done. Congrats on 20years and 200:quality stories.

Ho hum, no excitement here.

But it was a good laugh

Scores 3/5

didn't like it. blah

What a stupid husband.

He didn't like wife to get into infidelity

but he wants her to be topless so men can ogle.

But his reason is so that he can ogle the friends of his daughter.

And to top it, he allows his daughter to go topless too.

Stupid man just opened a Pandora's box he can't close.

He deserves what pain comes to his way.

I don't like the story but it was well-written.

Definitely one of your lesser efforts.

Where's the beef? This story had no meat. Was about nothing.

I greatly admire enjoy most of your stories. Indeed, they've been seeds to many things I've written over the last year, since I discovered this site; but this one missed the mark for me. I can never understand men that get turned on when other men lust after their wives. And I don't understand why women need strange men lusting after them. Everyone has kinks, some benign like feet or hair or scent etc etc. But those are personal, tete a tete type kinks. Exhibitionism though, is a gateway kink, one that can lead into a lot of other troubles. Walking around topless eventually leads to walking around naked. It can lead down to a much much darker rabbit hole.

Not at all clear that she didn't mess with Blake before Las Vegas. No direct denial. No explanation of Blake's allegedly unreasonably expections. Story works better if she were guilty.

I assume they had "inappropriate" behavior before the trip and he was trying to get something started again out there leading to his crazy behavior.

A justification that makes sense to his mind would involve her saying intimate words while they were fucking, followed by his interpretation of her rejection in Vegas as her renigging on pillow to always be his.

Thank you for 200 stories - an epic achievement.

However, this isn't one of your best. it's ok but the story line, the characters, the gaps, make it difficult to follow and appreciate.

PS A man coming out of anaesthesia would be much slower to reach full brain and speaking capacity than you describe (just a small point).

Too many unanswered questions

here's another of the I won't tell my husband the truth ande I almost get him kill yet he's staying with her

Love your work, love most of your stories - this one not so much. Why would he allow himself to be shot? What does that accomplish? Bring a gun and shoot the bastard in self defense. Whole story makes no sense.

Why do commentators focus on a story's moral content and not the story itself? It was well written- with an exciting plot and good dialogue. Some details were absent and confusing, but it was a good story.

Congrats on 200 published stories. Quite an achievement to still have the desire to publish after 19 years.

I always enjoy your tongue-in-cheek take on things.

Hooked

Fun read. Great ending.

That bloody Harold Webb and his .38! Just goes to show where lies can get you! A great 5* story. And congrats for 20 years on Lit.

Thanks to all who read this story and any others I have posted. I am trying to write stories where the reader does not have every point explained, but has to fill in any gaps with logic and attention to detail. To those of you believed the bad guy was shot in the face in this story, I don't know what to tell you. Perhaps you should wait for the movie to come out so you can see what is going on without the trouble of actually trying to read. Thanks to all of you for supporting me for the almost 20 years I have been posting here. I still enjoy writing and posting short stories and appreciate those who read and comment. This has been a trip for me. Thanks again!

You can't cover every detail. It's tempting to tie up loose ends. And the commenters do notice if you don't. But your story flows, loose ends or not. D

Another good story. It moved right a long and proved once again man plans and god laughs in this case the man got shot. Good for him though standing up for his wife. As the boob baring in Vegas was no big deal but our society is a bit touchy about nudity where as many places beaches are clothing optional as well as many nudist colonies around the world.

needs more please.

This could go so bad, bad, bad easily. We can only hope! Oh fuck yeah. Hope you got another chapter in you.

Thanks for another great story, HDK! 200, wow, that's a lot! But I just don't get it--where did Harold's face go? You said it disappeared; was it ever found? Had Shannon taken it? Or maybe it flew off to ogle Serena and her friends with their tops off? Was it going to go on vacation with them?

Some of your commenters don't seem to understand why a REAL man like you and me would certainly rather be shot by a .38 than a .22--to show our manliness, of course! That seems almost too obvious to state.

All your happy readers and fans are grateful to you for the years of great entertainment, not to mention fag cuck shit, you have provided for us. Please keep 'em coming! By my calculations, you only need to post about a hundred more stories to reach 300!

Thanks, ohio

Far from your best. I'm surprised it came from a favorite wrier.

@HDK - since you mentioned it in the comment, I'll address why so many people (myself included) thought the dude was shot in the face. The story says "Then it disappeared. Not just his grin, but his entire face.". Now, this could in theory be read as "face got shot off" or "he got shot and his face disappeared from MC's field of vision".... but the first one seems far more congruent with your wording. As I tell the programmers whose code I code review, "if other people can't tell what your code meant to do, you wrote your names and comments wrong". I hate to tell a writer how to do their job (as I have no writing talent), but in this case, I am afraid it was just a writing being unclear.

Having said that, I didn't like this story, mostly because aside from "I can tell when she's lying" self-conviction by MC, there's absolutely zero evidence she wasn't actually cheating with the dude like he claimed. And if she was, this whole story becomes absolutely horrible. Between "he is mentally unhinged and willing to do this just because his blackmail failed" and "he liked sex with her and is upset she stopped it", the latter seems more logical and likely. The only reason I'm not out and out saying she "obviously" cheated is, if she already had sex with him, why would he bother blackmailing her OVER EMAIL? That doesn't make sense. So maybe he was just unhinged. In which case, the story is pretty good.

I agree with the other commenters that said the story isn’t over. Why would she tell the so called blackmailer to get a bigger gun? Why did she not show her husband the emails knowing he was in danger? Why did she go topless if men were in the room? No decent wife does those things unless she was looking for some strange. The way I see this stretching out to a proper ending is the husband finds or is told additional information that indicates his wife was having an after either with the gunman and wanted her husband dead, or was having an affair with another guy in Las Vegas and he wanted a piece. The wife and her lover see how unhinged Blake is and decides to push him into killing her husband so she would 1. Be free of her husband to continue with her lover. 2. Again by having Blake kill her husband, she would be rid of both husband and blackmailer. There are to many indicators that she is a cheating wife.

Uh, Folks, uh Harold's face disappeared from Dave's view when the policeman hit him and knocked him out. A punch to the side of the head or chin strong enough to knock Harold out might spin him around or remove his face from Dave's vision, probably tunnel vision at that point just having been shot.

Even Harddaysknight doesn't hit a homerun on every offering but that's no excuse for skim reading then criticizing the author for bad writing.

I would love a chapter 2 if our author feels that he has more to give this fantasy. I leave it up to to our writer.

Cheers

SAGE

Haha good story….. quite a twist at the end….. Thanks for writing.

Suxs

Eh, this wasn't worth more than a 2. Your continued attempts at dry, witty and ironic humor fall flat...every time.

Great story. Now you have to post a sequel telling about the vacation with his women(harem?).

inka2222, I wanted readers to think that Harold have been shot, initially. That was the natural assumption when his face disappeared. That thought was put to rest twice in the story. "I liked him even better now, since Harold Blake was supine on the floor with his eyes opened but not registering anything. Les was a big guy and he had really planted a right cross into Blake's ugly mug." That was the first statement to show Harold was not shot. Then this sentence reiterated the fact Harold was smacked upside the head and not shot. "He was going to shoot you a second time but luckily, Les Williams was sitting at the bar. He knocked Blake into the middle of next week before he could pull the trigger again." This was not unclear writing. It was unclear reading, or perhaps skimming. I do it all the time.

I want to thank my old buddy, Ohio, and I do mean old, for making one of the best and funniest comments I have ever had on a story. I really miss his writing and may start a petition that asks congress to make him write more stories. Ohio is the man.

Meh, just ok. They are going to start down a road which will lead to the eventual end of the marriage. It will take time but he will be the proverbial boiled frog in the end

Well, I just came back from holiday in Italy where my fiance was one of very few women laying topless on the beach. I don't have a problem with that. We also visit thermal baths several time a year where the spa area is a nude area. Yes, I've seen hundreds of naked men and women from 16 to 80 and hundreds of men and women from 16 to 80 have seen my fiance naked. So what?

It's just the conservative americans who have a problem with naked people. Having young children (< 10 years) learning to shoot people is no problem, but having a 16 year old seeing naked people is the end of the world.

I was a little put off by the family piling on like you described. If the women of the family were that liberal you'd know the fathers would be, too or at least not attack like that. Shannon running around topless would have got a softer ridicule perhaps. And what guy is going to use those words to his own father and father in law? THAT disrespect was more than what they'd said.

Damn good story and loved that ending! Thank you for the smiles and chuckle! 5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE BLAZING NOVA STARS!

How about a follow up story, with them on vacation. Another 5

HAHAHAHA Great story!!!! Everybody is topless or nude now ;)

Funny one! (but for the shot.... ainshhhh).

5 stars from here!

Looking forward to where this goes.

Lame, and puzzling. What was the point? At first it reads like a setup for an author to exhibit how little he knows about guns and bullet injury. Then it reads like a setup for a husband to illustrate how cuckable he is, or at least enabling so his wife can start her path toward lewd and possible adulterous behavior. The husband is exactly right that the wife was using the presumed ignorance of her husband to keep secret her desire and enjoyment at exposing her breasts in an open public venue. If the wife had gotten away with it, and really enjoyed it, then why wouldn't she do it again, and maybe just a little more? Then maybe just a little more, etc. Not telling her husband about a deadly threat just makes the wife that much more deceitful and stupid. Apparently he got what he married so he got what he deserves.

\

I hope someone writes the sequel where the wife casually mentions her potential cucks enjoyment at her displaying herself to other men. She keeps working on the husband's inner cuck to eventually get him to agree to some soft swapping, or maybe just some soft hot-wife activities? After his display of approval for his wife becoming naked in front of other men, what would be his objection to just a little flirting, a little game playing, maybe a little touchy feely? Yeah, I hope someone carries this story to its logical next steps.

Congratulations on your 200th posting and your upcoming 20th anniversary. Keep up the good work . Enjoyed this one

Congrats for you 200th story. You are one of my favorite writers on Lit and that is an epic achievement in itself as I have high standards and few make the list. Please keep writing. I look forward to your next 200 stories. Cheers!

What a dumbass

I wouldn't trust her at all.

Two hundred stories, 20 years in LW. I’ve read them all and no one has ever done it better. This one only reinforces that opinion. What a great day in LW!

Not nearly your best effort, and by your comment I think you realize that.....

"Perhaps you should wait for the movie to come out so you can see what is going on without the trouble of actually trying to read."

Pretty thin skin for a 200 story veteran.

amyyum casually doxing 'John'.....

learn opsec, boomers. Especially when writing erotica in public site

"That's how a man stands up for his wife. You're a good man."

LOLOL!

"Thinking back on the emails, she never admitted having sex with him." - She never denied it either.

\

"How could I put a good spin on the shit hitting the fan?" - Just don't tell anyone the plan.

\

@miket0422, the conversation about the gun might have happened at work. I DO have a problem that when Blake implied that she had sex that she didn't say that she didn't.

\

I MOMENTARILY thought the bad guy was shot in the face when the story said his face disappeared, but it quickly became obvious that it simply disappeared from Dave's view after Les decked him. "Les was a big guy and he had really planted a right cross into Blake's ugly mug."

Guarding 5 hot nude women on a tropical beach should be fun. Will they laugh at his inevitable reaction? Will his daughter deliberately tease him to see if dad thinks she is hot?

I don't understand derogating the gift of your time and imagination I don't understand. While I had difficulties with Dave's logic, I understand the need to think outside the box to keep these stories unique. "I'll be better as soon as I am able"? I was waiting for Rocky Racoon to say "I'm gonna get that boy". Thanks for the time and effort not to mention your little hidden treasures.

Sorry, but a guy getting shot because his wife went topless in Vegas? The stupid blackmail followed by the even dumber hair-brained revenge plot? Pretty silly

Laura, otherwise known as "Dave's back-up plan".

The well built sister.

I mean, what else would she be?

Never addressed the cheating. She has a lifetime pass now.

Dave: "I was about to put my foot down on Serena going to a topless beach. I immediately realized that I would be reacting like Jack if I voiced concerns about my 19 year old daughter going to a topless beach."

All of a sudden Dave realizes his mouth just wrote a check he's not sure he can cash. He just shutdown his father-in-law for rebuking his daughter because she acted like a scandalous tart. A married woman going nude in public, without her husband's knowledge or approval would not pass the 'Husband Test' for the overwhelming majority of husbands. Dave lies to his family to save face for Shannon.

Shannon's actions directly resulted in the negative consequences of Shannon's blackmail, Dave's being shot and nearly killed, and Harold having his face blown off and likely being killed. These things would likely not have happened if Harold had not been able to procure the footage making it all possible.

Then after saving Shannon's pride, and boasting about how proud he was for her baring her chest, up pipes his 19 year old daughter. Serrena wants to be just like mom! Proud now Dave? No, he isn't. Otherwise he wouldn't have a reason to have a private talk with Serena later. Dave had an eureka moment in understanding how Jack felt as a father. No father wants his daughter to act like a slut, regardless of her age or marital status. Dave was off base with his family, he totally missed the harsh degree of embarrassment and humiliation his dad and dad in-law felt for the family and Dave in particular.

But Dave is looking forward to seeing Beth, Amber, and Laura topless or totally nude. Kinda makes Dave a bit of a pervert with a hidden agenda? Next we know Shannon will be doing group beach sex while Dave is porking his sister-in-law Laura in the dunes.

Very nice story. I wish there was more to it but I made up the rest in my head.

Brilliant. 5 🌟. You need to do a follow up about the holiday away to kokomo and the father having to deal with a predator trying to prey on his girls.

" has to fill in any gaps with logic and attention to detail"

What detail? You missed out a big chunk of the story.

-

Most husbands would be seriously pissed off if their wife went topless at a private club. Then she kept the death threats and blackmail secret, leaving her husband horribly vulnerable.

The husband leaping to her defence was lame. He never did find out the truth about exactly what his wife had been up to.

-

Then he brushes everything under the carpet, and is happy because he gets to see some boobs. Does this half-wit not realise that he can see millions of naked women at the click of a mouse? Along with his absurd plan to just shrug off bullets, I had to wonder if the husband was retarded.

*Sighs* I know I'm not the first to point this out, and I won't be the last. To the people who apparently read the story, but didn't comprehend it, this is the paragraph that explains where Harold Blake's face went. Pay attention to the last line: "Les was the husband of my wife's cousin. He was a detective with the local police force and a pretty good guy. I liked him even better now, since Harold Blake was supine on the floor with his eyes opened but not registering anything. Les was a big guy and he had really planted a right cross into Blake's ugly mug."

Do you get it now? Les punched Harold, and Harold hit the floor, thereby removing his face from Dave's view.

I love Femdom agitprop like this where the two MCs are dopey but well-meaning and truly do love one another. In the final analysis, we’re all just little animals trying to get by. You included!

A very interesting concept; our anti-hero finds himself in another fine mess almost entirely of his own making - the hallmark of many fine HDK stories.

Alas, it would have benefitted from another page or two; the resolution is a bit rushed and flat.

Strange story. So many unaddressed questions. Three stars.

JPB

not likely not good fiction

Bizarre, weird, silly, sexy, creative and fun was this one.

4* and happy anniversary!

Bullshit! A loving wife who never told him she was naughty, who never told him of blackmail threats, and who never told him of a gun threat to his person. Then, a fucking idiot who knew all this anyway, sets himself up to be shot. Then this same fucking idiot who tells his daughter if her mother cheated, "he'll drop her like...", brags about her showing her tits in mixed company. The theme is good but the execution really sucked.

That’s one hot mess of a story.

The whole premise of this story was stupid. He was going to get shot intentionally so his wife would feel bad about it? One star effort.

A little over 40 years ago a sheriffs deputy told me he would much rather have someone shoot at him with a .38 than a .22.

According to him the .22 was more likely to kill for several reasons, starting with more people are going to hit with a .22 and miss with a .38 and a bullet from a .38 is likely to go straight through while a bullet from a .22 will bounce around inside for a while.

Well, that certainly started with a bang, figuratively and literally! It is always fun to be pulled immediately into a story. Good writing. Thanks.

Quit reading

He attacked family for calling her slut. If name fits!! If worried about doing something where some friends etc would not like it you either have wrong friends or it's wrong!!!

I am in school that firmly believe that no such thing as innocent flirting, clothing that exposes too much is not appropriate,all actions that you would not do in front of friends, family,etc ARE WRONG!!! Actually seen fighting over women who wear inappropriate clothing in public and boyfriend (husband) who defend them when someone tells them truth about clothing. As my friends know I am on side of the truth!! Flaunt it And take consequences. Modern society ideas can be shoved where sun don't shine