All Comments on 'Good Girl Pt. 02'

I am enjoying it. Honestly, I find nothing wrong. I like build ups. I feel stroke stories are dumb and akin to a Beavis and Butthead episode. And this does not seem forced to me at all. Your pacing is good, your plot is good, and your grammar is good. So calm down and be confident. You're doing well. If I might suggest, I am always a huge fan of girl on girl, and really, if ratings mean anything, most readers are. So Allanah and Nancy, Sam and Nancy, Lauren and Allanah, even Sam and Allanah, all would be great, even if some are a bit hesitant at first. For example, I could see a vengeful Sam seducing Nancy and making her, her bitch. Just a thought though. Take the story where you will, as you've already done very well. By the way, five from me.

Jedd

Hope to see another chapter.

An incredibly complex plot. Dan and Allanahs build-up was understandable. The switch to Nancy and Jeffery was an interesting episode following her discussion with Allanah. Dan and Sam's sexual session was unexpected, especially his feelings. Lauren's entrance was a great twisted ending. Your story fits my title.

Nancy and Jeff seemed way too rushed. It took a while to break Dan and Jeff seemingly breaks down in 1 conversation? Other than that, all looks good

I have read both chapters in succession and am wondering how you'll get out of the corner into which you've painted yourself. One thing for sure, there is pain on the horizon. So much lust and broken trust cannot be resolved easily.

I suggest you step back and look at the whole picture. I think the marriage was broken a while ago. I think Sam isn't going to go back to Jeffrey so where will she land? Will the girls reconcile? They're in very similar circumstances. What about the girlfriend? She's already broken Dan's heart.

Whatever you do, it's your story and your characters. You decide. But don't take the easy way out. You need at least three more chapters.

Keep it up!

R.

I have read both parts together. The story is good, interesting and entertaining. The end of each part cries for a sequel. Looking forward to part three. So many questions need an answer.

I am truly floored, and blessed, by the positive response here. The anonymous who suggested three more chapters, you were spot on. I'm currently working on drafting Part 5. Jedd, I have taken your character matchings into consideration, while there are no certainties I would like to include them into the story (If you dropped a way to contact you I may have personally sent you the unposted scene).

That aside,

I am currently searching for beta readers. If that is of interest, please send me a message. You would get first look into my chapters and help me to dictate the story.

one more chapter but not any more. Laura is history, Sam divorces Jeff. Sam and Allanah move in with Dan and fuck his brains out. Jeff gets Nancy pregnant.