Good Morning, Patty

NOTES FROM THE AUTHOR:

This is the 4 ^th part to my "Patty" series. I thank you all for reading with me.

These two fictional characters are based on a real couple. I try to keep their decisions in line with the real live couple, even though I take creative liberties with the actual story. Of course, I'm not inside of their heads, but I have a fairly good idea of how they think based on my relationship with them and the time I've spent with them.

I hope you all enjoy.

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Patrick awakened to the sunlight greeting him through the open blinds. The sounds of a winter morning in full gear told him of an hour that was much too late. The voices of his neighbors as they shoveled snow. Cars driving over a slushy road. Even the wind seemed to be full of activity. Since he got sober, Patrick had become accustomed to beating the sun in a race to greet the world. It felt strangely reminiscent of his alcohol days to finally lose.

Another familiar sensation: the pounding head of a hangover. He definitely drank too much last night.

He groggily groaned as he tried to raise his head from the pillow, which he instantly regretted. The throbbing in his skull chastised him and reminded him that the softness of the pillow was his friend. He complied and sank even further into it.

"Just five more minutes." he lied to himself as he closed his eyes.

He had almost slipped back off into sleep when he felt the bed move beside him. A rustling beneath the very comforter he was under disturbed him. He opened his eyes just in time to see a slender arm snake around his torso. Clearing the blankets away, Patrick was in for the shock of his life.

"Good morning, Patty." Kendra said with a yawn, her eyes fluttering open.

Oh shit.

His head finally had enough energy to lift. A quick survey around the room told him that he wasn't sleeping in his own bed. He wasn't in his own room. If he'd not been so hungover, he would've put together the clues a lot sooner.

This king-sized bed was much too soft to be his.

The extra fluffy pillow he was sleeping on felt too high a quality for anything he'd have bought. Plus, it smelled like lavender. His at home smelled like sweat.

The voices of neighbors shoveling? He lived in an apartment building. Neighbors didn't shovel snow. They complained about it to the complex managers.

Even still, this unfamiliar bedroom had a sense of familiarity to it. He'd spent years in this room. He remembered the day he purchased this bed. These pillows. Those blinds. That bedspread.

He was in his old bedroom; the one he used to share with his wife.

"Kendra?"

"Yeah?"

"What the hell is going on?"

She chuckled at that question as her hand gently rubbed his chest. "What do you mean what the hell is going on? What does it look like? We're waking up."

Patrick grabbed her hand and held it to get her to stop rubbing him. The soft motion was making his body react, whether he wanted it to or not.

"Why are we waking up in the same bed?" he asked, his tone serious.

"Oh, that's easy." She said with a devilish smirk. "Because we had sex, of course."

"Wait...WHAT???"

She giggled, as if his panicky questioning didn't bother her in the least. Her arms casually lifted over her head as she stretched her body. Her legs extended in the opposite direction.

Patrick couldn't help where his eyes wandered as she did this. Her braless breasts pushed against the thin material of her T shirt, highlighting her taut nipples which were practically erasers at this point. When she was done stretching, she sat up on her side, holding her head up with her hand while her elbow was perched on the mattress.

She looked like she was posing for a painting. Still beautiful, even after all these years. Even with her bed head of rumpled hair and her face naked of make-up, she was the most beautiful woman who'd ever let him remove her clothes.

An onrush of familiar feelings stirred inside of his loins. He mentally squashed them. He needed answers, and he had to not be horny to get them.

Once again implementing his serious tone, he asked, "So you're telling me that we had sex?"

"Yep."

"I don't believe it."

"Believe it." She said as she rolled away from him. That roll led her directly to the edge of the bed, in which she gracefully slid out from beneath the blanket. Patrick was now blessed with a full body view of his nearly naked wife. There she stood, wearing nothing but a thin T shirt and some panties.

To make matters worse, she had no shame about it. She didn't try to cover up. She didn't look embarrassed. In fact, she wore an amused grin, as if his confusion were entertaining.

"I warned you about drinking so much." She said as she perched her hands on her hips to playfully chastise him. "You really don't remember what we did last night? All the nasty shit I let your depraved ass do to me?"

"Huh?"

She giggled and shook her head before continuing with, "Now, I'm not complaining, but you were never that much of a freak when we were together."

"Oh fuck!" Patrick thought. "She's not joking. I think I really fucked my wife last night."

As Kendra laughed at how much Patrick was panicking, his mind raced against time. He desperately rewound his memory to piece together an explanation. Images of a New Year's Eve party started off lucid and fun. He remembered meeting up with Dave and Charlotte. Having a few drinks. Seeing his estranged wife there, flirting with some douche bag. Having more drinks. Dancing with a pretty woman. Arguing with Kendra. Making up with Kendra. Having even more drinks. A kiss at midnight...

From then on, things got a bit hazy.

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Last night was a night of victory for Patrick. New Year's Eve 2020, Patrick was sitting on the floor in his living room, alone and drunk. The only thing on his mind was figuring out the best way to die. He had nothing to live for. Or so he thought.

He spent 2021 climbing out of that hole he'd been living in. The death of his brother. The death of his marriage. The death of a safe and secure middle American life. In 2020, he had to mourn those deaths. In 2021, he had to move on.

But 2022 had been a revelation. He not only saw just how much life he had in him, but he also saw how much life he brought to the world around him. From the depths of his despair, he climbed out of that hole he'd been living in and forced himself to live. Not just be alive, but to LIVE.

To find hobbies. To make new friends. To spend time with his daughter. To do more than just slave away at a job he barely tolerated.

For the first time in ages, Patrick didn't feel ambivalent about attending a gathering that his estranged wife would be at. He didn't feel that knot in his stomach when he thought about seeing her.

That is, until he saw her.

If God were real, Kendra would be an ugly hag that he could get over quickly. He'd be able to rest assured that she would never find love with another man, and that she'd spend the remainder of her days lonely and longing after him.

Why did she always have to light up the room with her smile? Why did her laugh force you to laugh? Why was she still the most beautiful woman Patrick had ever seen?

The real question was, why hadn't their separation affected her like it'd affected him?

When he caught her cheating, his world fell apart. And then, he did also. He started drinking more heavily. He stopped exercising. He barricaded himself away from the world, only leaving his miserable apartment to go to work.

But her? She flourished. As a single woman, she sprouted wings of a phoenix and soared. She went out on dates with her new beau to art museums, away on fun little vacays, had mind-blowing sex. She smiled more, cried less, and genuinely seemed like a happier woman.

And tonight was no different. Her tight, cocktail dress accentuated her curves. Her heels showed off her toned legs. They highlighted just how wonderfully put together she was, and they did it without seeming like she was advertising.

How she managed to still have that figure when she was pushing forty was a miracle that only fairy godmothers could grant. No wonder she was able to replace him with a man nearly a decade younger. The truth was, Kendra would only be single for as long as she wanted to be.

Even now, as she stood in a corner drinking champagne, there was a guy shooting his shot. Patrick could tell. He didn't have to actually hear what was being said to know they weren't talking about the weather. The way he looked at her, smiled at her, leaned in close as he spoke so that he could initiate contact. It was obvious.

She didn't even have to try. All she had to do was stand there, smile, and watch all the bees buzz over to her, hoping to pollinate her flower.

But you know what? He'd made peace with that. He had to. If he based his happiness on whether she suffered consequences for breaking his heart in the cruelest of ways, he'd forever be bound to her. Because honestly, there is no fate she could suffer that would be equivalent to what he'd been forced to endure.

From off to his left, a voice cut through Patrick's thoughts.

"Ho-ly shit! Do my eyes deceive me?" he heard his buddy Dave say. Dave and his wife Charlotte were the couple hosting the party. Patrick turned just in time to see Dave walking up to him in a slow, dramatic fashion. He looked like he was approaching a rare animal he didn't want to scare off.

"Dave." Patrick said with a nod of his head.

"Saint Patrick? Are you actually here, at my party, in the flesh? Did you finally decide to grace us mere mortals with your presence?"

"You're an asshole. You just saw me last week." Patrick said as the pair of friends laughed. A bro handshake between them evolved into a back-patting hug.

"Yeah, but that was by mistake. I just happened to run into you at the gym. This time, you actually came out to see me on purpose."

"Whatever."

"I'm just touched." Dave said, continuing his jovial joking manner. "I feel special that you deemed my party worthy enough for your highness' attendance."

Patrick gave him a lighthearted shove before saying, "Shut up and take me to the drinks."

Dave's greeting did more than welcome Patrick to his first party out in ages. It also announced his presence to Kendra. Right now, the man to her side had been working on her since she walked in nearly an hour ago. He was charming. He was funny. He was handsome. And Kendra was flattered by his attention.

But then, she heard Patrick's name being called. At first, she thought her ears were mistaken. A quick look around the room found her estranged husband laughing and joking with Dave.

All interest in the man to her right evaporated.

Patrick looked so good. Every time she saw him lately, it was like she was seeing the man she first met. He stood tall. He was confident. He laughed and smiled more. No longer holed up in his apartment hiding away from the world, he was comfortable being seen out in public.

This Patrick wasn't the Patrick she'd become accustomed to. That guy had given up on life. Given up on being happy. Given up on the people who loved him. Given up on her. That Patrick suffered alone in the tiny hell between his ears.

But he was changing. Kendra could see that. Every encounter she had with him showed how much he was evolving. At first, she suspected that this change in him was temporary, that it was some attempt of his to impress her. But it became apparent that his change had nothing to do with her.

He was now rock climbing. He was biking, He was taking martial arts. He was going to the gym. And...he was dating.

That last one was hard for Kendra to swallow.

She was unaware that he was seeing other women at first. It wasn't like he told her anything about his life. Anything she learned about him had to be pulled out of their daughter Jessi through high level interrogation.

All she knew was that he was unavailable more and more. Whenever she had a problem with the house, he used to rush over to fix it. It didn't matter when she called him, or how small the issue was. And truthfully, most of the "issues" were just a thin veil to see his face because she missed him.

But lately he's been...busy.

Was the jealousy she felt at knowing he was dating hypocritical? Did she have the right to feel a tad bit angry that he was going out with these other women when she was more than available?

Her affair had been over for over a year and a half. Letting go of Sean was hard for her to do, but once she did it was like a fog had lifted. At one time, she thought she was in love with that man. They often talked about what their lives would look like if she really left Patrick to be with him.

They'd buy a house together with a big back yard. Adopt a Siberian Husky. Fill their new home with art pieces and modern furniture. Take family vacations with her, Sean, and Jessi. Tell all their friends a sanitized story of how they met. Spend their nights wrapped up in each other's arms, fucking until they passed out in post coital bliss.

Sounds like Heaven. But it wasn't Heaven. It was a fantasy, far separated from reality.

In the real world, Kendra was married to a man that she was still in love with. She had a daughter who would NEVER accept Sean as a father figure. She had family and friends who were disappointed in the choices she'd made. She had guilt over the lives she'd changed.

And she cried every night over all of that.

"Um, can you excuse me, Barry?" Kendra said, cutting off the man who was desperately trying to charm his way into her good graces. "I see someone I have to say hi to."

Looking a bit deflated, "Barry" said, "My name is Brent."

"Huh?"

"Brent." He repeated, even though she was clearly distracted and barely paying attention to him. "My name is Brent.

With a sweet smile, Kendra said, "Of course it is."

With that she walked off and meandered her way through the guests. By this time, Patrick and Dave had left the living room area, so it took a bit of searching to find him. She finally caught up with him in the kitchen, grabbing a drink.

From the corner of his eye, Patrick saw her approaching. A part of him was kind of surprised she left her admirer behind to come speak to him. Another part of him expected it.

"Hey Patty." She said sweetly.

"Hey Ken."

Dave sensed it would be a good idea to make a graceful exit. Giving Patrick an encouraging pat on the shoulder, he said, "I...uhhh...I'm gonna go find Charlotte."

Before Patrick could protest, Dave was walking off.

The two of them stood there for a moment, not saying anything. Kendra finally broke their silence with, "I didn't know you would be here tonight. Where's Jessi?"

"At my folk's house. They insisted that I drop her off and go out and have fun."

She nodded in agreement with his parents. "Good. It's nice to see you out with people."

She meant that, but that statement soon turned acidic in her mouth. As Patrick took a sip of his beer, Kendra's forehead became wrinkled with worry lines. In her mind's eye, she pictured all the times she saw him drunk in the past. The way he walked around in a morose funk, angry at the world. And then, she saw him sitting alone in his living room, almost ready to end his life.

"Uhh...are you sure you should be drinking? I mean, didn't you go to AA after...you know?"

"You mean after I tried to off myself?"

The cavalier manner at which he spoke about something so horrific caught her off guard. He said it like it was a joke. Like almost ending his life wasn't the worst thing he could do to her and Jessi.

"That's not funny." she said, her tone deathly serious.

"I'm not laughing."

As he went to take a sip from his cup, she grabbed his wrist. "Seriously. Shouldn't you be abstaining from drinking?"

"Ken...I'm fine." Patrick said, his voice filled with irritation. "This is a party. I don't need you to babysit me."

"Yeah, but..."

"Don't you have a guy friend to entertain?" he spit out as he cut her off. "Why are you even over here with me? We both know you enjoy the company of other men."

He instantly regretted those words the moment they left his mouth. They were intentionally hurtful, and they did their job.

He expected her to yell at him and maybe throw her drink in his face. Call him an asshole. Maybe even slap him.

But she did none of those. Instead, he watched as her eyes glazed over with hurt tears. Then, without another word, she turned on her heels and quickly walked off, leaving Patrick with the sounds of her stilettos click-clacking across the tiled floor.

Fuck.

Patrick took a moment to calm himself before he went out to find her so he could apologize. But he didn't see her anywhere. He even found the guy she was talking to earlier. Unfortunately, she wasn't with him either. He'd moved on to another woman who he had a better shot with. She was just a little drunker and hornier than Kendra.

"She probably left."

With a sigh, he pulled out his phone and texted her. All he got was silence in return. Knowing her like he knew her, she'd probably be angry at him for the rest of the night. He probably won't get a response until tomorrow. He might as well forget about that and focus on having a fun time. After all, this was the first party he'd been to in a while.

So that's what he did.

What he didn't realize was that Kendra never left. When she stomped off, she merely went into one of the bathrooms to cry. She purposely chose to go to the bathroom in the master bedroom because she knew no one would disturb her there.

Why did he have to be such an ass? Why did he have to treat her like that when she was only worried for his health?

It seemed like the old Patrick was still in there. He could change his appearance, get new hobbies, start going out with friends, but in the end, he'd still be the same old asshole.

Her phone buzzed in her purse. Picking it up, she saw that it was Patrick texting her. Two words. Nothing more.

I'm sorry.

Fuck him! Fuck him to hell! He seemed intent on punishing her forever. She'd been apologizing to him for the better part of a year for what she did. She didn't know how much more apology he needed before he could start to forgive her.

But you know what? He owed her an apology too.

Yes, she had an affair. It was such a massive mistake. The worst of her life. Since she found out about his attempted suicide, she's come face to face with a tidal wave of guilt. She finally realized the cost of her selfishness. Patrick thinks she got away scot-free, but that couldn't be further from the truth.

She saw him around every corner. She heard his voice across empty corridors. She'd dream that he was in the bed with her, only to wake up and find his spot empty. Her actions were not free. The price of her infidelity was high.

It cost her her family. It cost her her husband. It cost her the respect of their daughter. But mostly, it almost cost Patrick his life.

No matter what happened, or how much he lashed out at her, she couldn't let him go. There was that small voice inside of her that compelled her to hold onto him, even if he was intent on being released. Maybe that was the guilt talking. Maybe it was love. Maybe it was a twisted mixture of both. She didn't know. Her therapist has been trying to help her unravel that for a few months now. All she knew was that Patrick was still inside of her, even if she wasn't inside of him.

She had to take ownership of that. And she did. Many times over.

But her therapist was right in one aspect. While cheating is extremely harmful, it's not the end all be all of sin. It doesn't excuse the parts that he also played in the demise of their marriage. He left her emotionally long before she even thought about another man. He stopped being a partner to her. That didn't excuse what she did, but neither did her actions excuse his.