Good Neighbors Ch. 102

One of the downsides of being a widower is that some of the things you always took for granted reveal themselves to you in the worst times. It was when it was a few weeks prior to the Thanksgiving holiday that one of these moments happened. Matt was discussing with the team about the holiday. Our company tradition was to allow folks the option of a week off for it to give them time to travel to their family's house or whatever. Some even had the option of two weeks depending on tenure. It was during this meeting that I realized I had no plans for Thanksgiving.

Except for last year, our plans usually including going to a restaurant on that day. It was just something we did. Last year, my Thanksgiving was spent with my wife at the Emergency Room. It was during that holiday that we found the lump on her breast after some other complications. That was the moment that everything changed. It was that memory of dread that had me excusing myself. I made it to the elevator before Aubrey caught up.

"What's going on, Leo?" she asked me.

I couldn't even look her in the eye.

"I need to get to the office. Just let everyone know I am alright. Please?"

The elevator opened and I kept my head down as I hit the button, leaving her standing there. I felt so horrible at that point that I couldn't even look at anyone. I arrived at my floor and walked straight to my office where I locked my door and flung myself on my couch. I allowed myself to cry really hard for a bit until I heard the door open behind me. I turned and saw Aubrey standing there. The look on her face said everything.

"You forgot the code word, didn't you?" she whispered.

I looked at her before she grabbed a box of tissues off my desk. She walked closer and handed them to me before grabbing one herself.

"It's been so long since I saw you like this. The anger thing I always kept in the back of my mind. That was always easy to plan for. It's the depression spots that scare me. I never know how deep you'll go. She always warned me about it. It was even her idea to have the code word. Do you remember what it was?"

"Red," I whispered.

"How far are you in this time?" she asked almost like a therapist.

I looked at her with a look that must have scared her. She went immediately to her desk and grabbed the phone. I was too far gone to hear who she called before she walked back over. She grabbed a weighted blanket out of my closet and covered me with it before starting the coffee pot. It was after about ten minutes when Matt walked in. He went straight to Aubrey.

I couldn't hear the convo. I was too far gone by that point. I had these type of episodes throughout my life. After I lost my parents, Missy was my comfort. When Missy lost hers, she taught me about the way she coped in hopes I'd be fine. It was the first time in a while I had an episode. It was then I heard Aubrey say the words I dreaded the most.

"Your neighbor is on her way. Matt's wife is going to get her."

I stood defiantly.

"What the hell are you thinking? She's the last person..."

That's when I collapsed on the couch. She didn't know about these episodes. She didn't know how dark I could get. I started getting scared. I wrapped the blanket around me and closed my eyes, trying to concentrate. I started to lose track of time until I heard her voice.

"Leo, honey. Look at me."

I looked and saw her tear-filled eyes. I immediately started apologizing like I stole a piece of candy or something before she placed her hand on the back of my head. She pressed her lips on my forehead as I started to cry a bit harder. I heard her ask Aubrey if she could have the room. Aubrey asked Matt and his wife to go with her before the door was closed behind her. All I could do was cry. All she did was hold me I could feel the cloud start to dissipate before I looked up at her. Her eyes were closed tightly as her tears began to fall.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"You did nothing wrong, Leo. It's alright. Even heroes have their weaknesses," she whispered back.

As she held me, I could hear the door open. I looked over as my hands surrounded my neighbor and saw Matt.

"Hey, Bro. Can I come in?"

"Sure," I whispered.

He came in and sat on the other side of me before his arms surrounded me. Soon, I was in the middle of a group hug with Aubrey, Matt's wife and a few others who came to check on me. It was quiet for a little longer before Matt released me and had everyone walk out of the room again, leaving me alone with Aubrey and my neighbor. I looked over at Aubrey.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"You're alright, Leo. It's hard sometimes. Being here without you while you mourned kind of helped because I could cry whenever I wanted to without folks checking on me. Missy was my sorority sister and my roommate before you two hooked up. It's hard seeing you like this, but at least I knew who to get."

She winked at my neighbor as she said that. I smiled a bit before I kissed my neighbor on the forehead.

"Are you alright, Beloved?" I whispered.

"I am now. Missy warned me about these things. I think this was the first time I saw one since she passed. This is a nice blanket you have here."

She slipped under it as I held her against me. Aubrey slipped under the other arm, and I held her too. As we sat there, all I could think about was how lucky I was at that moment. The clouds were passing by a bit faster now.