Good Sex during Covid Lockdown Ch. 01

How can singles still enjoy good sex in the middle of this pandemic lockdown? Should we just resign ourselves to a life of chastity and boredom until things finally get back to normal?

I really hate this fucking pandemic for so many reasons. Basically, lockdown means no hookups, no meetups, no sex. Where is the fun in that?

Ok, there are some people who are still going out, breaking lockdown and meeting partners for sex and fun. But with so many deaths and so much suffering caused by this terrible Covid virus, there are very good reasons to follow the public health advice of staying at home and protecting yourself and others. And of course, wear a mask!

Despite all this, sex can still happen during a pandemic. Like most people, I have spent much of my life having sex on my own - that is, the 'self love' of masturbation - even when I have been in a married relationship(s). Of course, now that I am a single man, this is even more vital to my wellbeing. For those who are locked down with a sexual partner, then sex with another person is obviously possible. But even for people like me - and probably many of the readers on this site - full on sex of some kind would be nice.

In this first of a two part blog, I'll talk about some of the things we all can do to keep enjoying our sexuality even in the middle of this grim pandemic.

But I still decided to join a sex dating site during this pandemic, because sexual connection is about more than just quickies and hookups. When I first started looking I thought (perhaps naively) that the world would be safer by now, that I would be meeting people for possible hook ups and fucking at some point as the new year of 2021 began to get going. Of course, I didn't get that right.

And so, with the current lockdown in place for several more weeks at least, what can we do? How can we singles have some fun in these desperate times? Either we break the lockdown, meet up with others anyway, and risk further spreading the already out-of-control virus, or we find a more at home and online based way to make new sexual connections. If we assume that the lockdown won't last too long, I think we can still enjoy the next few months alone and connected online. We can cum together safely if we look for ways to enjoy this new way of doing sex in the era of Covid.

First of all, most men need to learn what many women have known for a long time already. That is, sex is something to enjoy and savour, to take time over and find new ways of bringing the body pleasure. Despite my age, I am amazed at how little I've been taught as a man to reach the sweet spots of my body - that so much of what has been taught to me about sex focuses on the very small region around my cock and balls. And that in large part, having sex has been about becoming hard, stroking and using that hard cock, and then using up that hardness by cumming. I don't think I'm unusual in this, that most men see doing sex as a very enjoyable but limited activity of becoming aroused, enjoying that arousal, and then enjoying a good climax. If they're lucky then they can eventually rinse and repeat.

I have wished for a long time to have a sexuality that is more like a woman's, more subtle and long lasting. The ability to climax several times, that builds up and does not simply explode. But I live in a man's body and was taught for too long to use it as a man.

And then, quite recently, I finally laid claim to my prostate, and the glorious 'a-spot'. I will write more about this another time, but if anyone is interested then Ruby Ryder runs free webinars on this (around the end goal of 'pegging'). But I have found - with the help of a beautiful 'prostate massager' - that the placing of a toy within me eroticises and pleasures my life in ways I had never imagined possible (I have it in as I'm writing this, I often wear it when I'm out, such as when I'm shopping - it's delicious!). I have not yet found the 'whole body orgasm' (the 'big O') that cums without any stimulation of the cock - but I have cum close. And when I have stroked and masturbated my cock alongside this prostate stimulation, the experiencing of cumming has been exquisitely powerful. If you're in a man's body, then if you've never tried it then you simply don't know what you're missing. You might perhaps think you're 'not into that kind of stuff'. That's bollocks, so think again - somewhere there is a prostate massager that has been made specially for you and your pleasure!

My second discovery is also mind blowing and sublime. This is the world of tantra - in particular 'urban tantra' - a recent set of approaches that mix together ancient Indian tantric practices with contemporary western kinks. Again I am starting off on this path, and have only dabbled my feet (or chakras) in the waters of this powerful delight.

Tantra is in short a way of understanding your body - male bodies and female bodies - which sees sex as not genital and related to nerve endings and fluids. Instead sex is energy, that flows powerfully through the universe and through our bodies. When we see sex as predominantly about what we do with cocks, pussies, asses, balls, and clits then we misunderstand completely how that energy can leave us with powerful, unforgettable orgasms throughout the rest of our bodies. And that if we learn how you direct and control that sexual energy through breathing exercises - akin perhaps to mindful meditation - then it is possible to cum simply through breathing. Although I am quite a novice of this at the moment, I have been amazed by the experience of this - imagine cumming that goes through every part of the body, not simply the area around the cock.

The tantra author Barbara Carrellas suggests that everyone should find 20 minutes every day to develop and work on this energy, to help it flow through the body and charge up our sexuality. This may involve breathing exercises, physical exercises, or of course simply enjoying masturbating and cumming every day. Imagine someone telling you to make sure you wank every day? Perhaps that's your guilty pleasure anyway (I think on most days I try to do so). I've even be told that it's even better to masturbate and cum once every day before sleeping and also again every morning (putting my morning wood to good use!). In a flexible work day routine of lockdown this is a little bit easier to achieve, most if not all of the time. But the simple advice - from your friendly (non-medical) doctor is that a daily wank is very good for you - physically, mentally, and spiritually. So no excuses and no guilt!

But all this so far is self pleasure. What about the joy of sex together - those sensual experiences that we cannot have alone? Sex on our own is definitely fun and fulfilling, but it doesn't have that pleasure of touch, taste, and smell of really good sex with a partner. I miss that so much, but I also do not want to spread the virus.

In the second part of this blog I'll talk about online sex, and connecting with a partner for safe fun and 'socially distanced' sex during the Covid pandemic.