Good to Me

This is re-posting of a story I wrote a while back, under another name.

________

"Please, Luna. I just need to see Ben for five minutes. I got this warning letter from him and I just need to explain why I locked out the website," the IT guy pleaded over the phone.

"Prakash," she replied flatly. "You're lucky Ben didn't get your manager to fire you for falling asleep on the keyboard, not checking the code, and locking the client out of their own website six hours before the damned launch so if I were you, I'd sit down, take the warning seriously and just do the bloody job and thank the gods I still have a job in a country where they deport unemployed foreigners within the week. Okay?"

She hung up without waiting for a reply and returned her attention to more pressing matters. Luna read the email over and over again. There was no weaseling her way out of this. The email stated it very clearly. It was some advertisers' wet dream - a full-on gala, dinner full of creative types that wanted to network while also holding a pissing contest. At an earlier point in her career, she would have loved to go.... But now, just thinking about it made her palms sweat. To think, she was to accompany her boss to it.

For a second, she wondered if he was going to be there.

The thought of being within walking distance of her ex caused a mild feeling of nausea to rise. She shuddered, made a face, and took a deep breath. The glare of the screen hurt her as much as the email itself did and Luna sucked her teeth as she prepared her counter-proposal. Ben almost hated socializing as much as she did and she knew just what to tempt him with. She pulled her large glasses from her face, pushed herself up from her desk, and walked up to the open door of her boss' office after a few seconds of closing her eyes in thought.

Each time she stepped in here, she felt like she was in Brobdingnag. Not that anyone would catch that reference, she thought. Luna was convinced that she had the sensibilities of someone born in 1940's Melaka - from her choice of clothing to what she liked to read. At any rate, everything in the office was scaled to Ben's height, not hers. He even kept a small footstool tucked away in the corner in case she needed to get anything from his office in his absence. It sat unobtrusively next to a little potted olive tree that Ben miraculously kept alive. Its green leaves sat neatly pruned, fanned out like art in the filtered sunlight.

"Binyamin?" she knocked on the door with a quick rap of her knuckle. "I need to talk to you about the invite to the not-very-creatively-named Creatives Gala."

There was a short laugh that came from the tall man sitting at a simple but well-built walnut table. Binyamin, or 'just Ben' as the Americans preferred to call him, looked up at her - a full head of dark wavy hair that was just a bit too long to be considered strictly professional. He had a chiseled face and deep-set hazel eyes that were currently twinkling with mischief even if he wasn't looking at her.

Her lips curved into a slight smile as she folded her arms, tugging the navy blue blouse just a smidge tighter over her shoulders and down her chest. Her pulse was racing, a deep heat sinking from her chest and down into her belly. "Oh, so you know exactly why I'm here."

The London-educated, bougie Adonis that was Ben leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers as he rested them against his chin, drawing attention to his mouth. The pale blue button-down shirt set off his rich, tawny skin just beautifully, that lean athletic frame with its subtle musculature- God, he was gorgeous but Luna had learned her lesson. She did not shit where she ate.

He smiled affectionately. "It's the way you say my full name in such dulcet tones like you're-."

"Summoning an incubus from the depths of hell?"

"I was thinking more of an angry teacher."

"You're so plummy."

"Who even uses that term anymore?"

"Har har. Why can't you just bring... what's her name? Najwa?"

"Jessica, actually," he corrected with a poker face.

"What happened to Najwa?" Luna moved on briskly, genuinely curious and momentarily distracted. She walked into his office and adjusted a book that jutted out just by a fraction. Once it was back precisely in its place, she returned to her spot by the door.

Ben paused for a tick and then replied as if explaining the weather. "She had to go back to Dubai."

"Yeah, so Jerrica," Luna went on. "Jessica, sorry. Whoever you're dating at the moment. You usually bring them."

"I didn't have a deputy then," he referred to Luna's recent promotion. "You hate going to these things but you are my right hand now," he added casually with a shrug of his shoulders. "Besides, I want you to have my job someday, at the very least, so you should be the one coming along with me. I train my subordinates to be leaders, Luna. And after the way you handled the Germans, you are my Kobe."

"God rest his soul, he's dead," Luna resisted the urge to smile in satisfaction at the praise. "And you know I don't follow sports."

"But you get the importance," Ben grinned sunnily as he stood up, brushing some lint from his khakis. He had a pianist's fingers - long and graceful with a slender, proportionate palm and supported by strong wrists. In fact, judging by his angular jaw and sharp cheekbones, he was the sort of person God spent extra time on. He glanced at Luna's tart expression and sighed dramatically as he pinched the space between his eyes. "I know you're basically a shut-in but I need you there to introduce you to our clients and sub-contractors."

Luna opened her mouth only to have his hand lift and show its palm at her.

"-Besides, what I say goes. You will get your ass to that dinner with me," Ben shrugged flippantly as he grabbed his wallet and phone. "That's the bottom line." He grinned, inwardly proud of the pun that made her groan, and ran his fingers through his thick crown of hair, neatening it somewhat through the reflection of his glassy monitor. "It's a formal event so get a nice dress. Wear something bold, would you? None of the usual neutrals you prefer for work. Rent a designer one from a website or something and charge it to the company account. We are there to turn heads."

She stilled at that. "You're serious."

"Did I give any indication that I was joking?"

Damn him and his ridiculous BBC accent. "To think, I was going to offer you a week of overtime," she sighed sincerely, leaning against the door frame, one arm on her hip now as the other hand moved expressively. "And I'll be willing to take your place at the Clarence luncheon."

"Hah! First of all, you virtually live at your desk and secondly, we are both going to that luncheon. We can't be here all day playing 'good cop, bad cop' as much as I appreciate you keeping the department in line when things get hairy," hazel-eyed Ben beamed before pausing a moment in all seriousness. "What are you worried about? Being nice to people is actually harder than chewing them out?"

"Well, yes! You know my mouth-" she told him earnestly.

"Actually, I don't-"

"-Telling me to babysit your department while you were vacationing in Petra is one thing. Schmoozing it up with these old-money-new-money types, no offense- "

"-None taken."

"-is another."

"You know it's a real wonder how you made it this far in a career where all we do is schmooze and sell stories. Look, we'll work up to that gala. You'll come with me to all my networking events so it won't be a complete shove into the deep end of the pool. The Clarence luncheon is a good start. Some of those present will definitely be attending the gala so I won't be the only person you know there. How's that?"

Luna nodded, blowing her breath out steadily through her pursed lips.

He quickly skimmed her pretty appearance from head to toe. Small, curvy, tanned with a precise manner of speech all wrapped up in a blue silk blouse and a black pencil skirt. That outfit wouldn't be turned away at an upscale restaurant. "Speaking of which, do you want to grab some lunch? A reward for dealing with Prakash."

Not with this lipstick, she thought but didn't explain. Red lipstick while beautiful was a bitch to clean and reapply when smudged. She had no appetite anyway. Luna shook her head, brushing dark locks out of her face as she rubbed her right temple with a gentle motion of her small palm. "If you're going out, could you grab some snacks? I think Balqis is stressed and she ran out of chocolates."

"I'll grab her some bars." He gave another short laugh without looking up from his phone as he typed on it and fell back on his original plan. Her phone gave a short vibration outside on her desk. "I'm going on a coffee run then. Type in your order in the group chat."

"Black coffee," she shrugged and took a step back as he approached her, eventually making her way out of his office.

"Have something else. I'm going to Starbucks. You can always have plain coffee at the pantry."

"So stock the place with the Pike Place roast so I can have it every day."

"Fine. Only because you're so good to me, Luna."

"A simple black coffee, no sugar, no cream. Nothing."

"Just a dark void in a cup," he grinned as she suppressed a chuckle at his description.

"In a grande, Sir."

"Sure. Made you laugh though."

She rolled her eyes and sat back down at her cubicle. Ben wasn't wrong. She was his right hand. Luna had been working here for about two to three years now and James was but a distant memory. She had blocked him from her accounts and cut off all modes of contact. It would have worked better if not for the fact that they worked in the same industry and the market in this city was small enough for them to be running into each other at key events.

Ever so often, she would see James pop up in articles that informed her of who's who in this country. It never failed to make her feel that empty pang in her chest. That familiar hurt of losing something that she thought she could depend on. Enough wallowing, she told herself. This was a place of work and she would not be the PA who cried at her desk and had to quit her job a month later because she had made the mistake of falling for a superior from another department a second time around.

A married superior, no less.

At least, Ben was single. Even if he was hardly without a girlfriend. Still.

The shame burned in her cheeks, turning her face scarlet. Her mind was her own worst enemy and it replayed the last conversation she had with James so vividly in her mind that she wished nothing more than to forget but the pain was a cautionary tale and worth holding on to. She was stubborn like that.

The evening they broke up, James had taken her to a quiet spot in the park and spoke gently to her. James with his warm, kind, brown eyes and soft voice. "She wants to work it out," he told her. Calmly. Reasonably. His large palms clasped as his fingers laced his hands together, elbows on his knees as he leaned forward, looking off into the distance. "And I owe her that. I promised."

He didn't stop there, of course. He went on to explain and in a sense, Luna supposed it did her good to hear it. How he had never expected this to blossom between Luna and himself. The long nights and happy evenings. Neither had she, she nodded silently. How he had always been upfront. How Luna had always been aware that there was always a chance of him reconciling with his wife. She nodded again, responding quietly that she knew how promises worked. James said he had truly loved Luna and her ways. In another life or something to that effect, it would be different.

Then came the whole thing about how good she felt when he was in her, the feel of her skin, her ripe little body that took whatever he hurled at it. How freeing it was with her. How healing it was. How he didn't regret a second of it. How he could never forget her.

How he wanted to give her everything and to that, she remained truly silent because... how could he?

She should have never trusted that of anyone, let alone someone like him, who would truly offer her everything and anything she wanted. Words like that only lasted as long as the afterglow.

His words washed over like the faint rushing of water when one plunged into a swirling river, fading into muffled mumbles and babbles. All she knew keenly was the sensation of her lungs burning for air.

"Mmm," Luna nodded on the park bench, then feeling the void ripping away at her insides, the familiar rise of literal heartburn. It was the way marriages worked, of course. Why had she expected any different?

"... Like it or not, she and I are people of influence. And I have to do things the right way."

She remembered frowning slightly at that as if shaking herself out of it for the moment, mustering all of her willpower to steady her voice, taking a deep breath before she opened her mouth. "Yes. I understand.... No, you don't have to worry. I had a feeling it would come to this. It was good while it lasted." She braved a smile.

"Luna. Please, no matter how much it hurts, we promised not to damage-"

"Yes, don't worry about it. I would never. This stays buried between us," she wanted to stop talking, to stop spouting the cliches that she hated hearing. "It stings, yes. But there's a clear way forward and that's good. I truly am glad that this has been resolved. I wish you the best." Luna stopped short of saying how much she wanted to be selfish, how much she loved him but it was all for naught. It didn't matter if his mind was made up. So they left, he drove her home for the last time and she forced herself to walk up to her apartment instead of standing on the sidewalk like the lovelorn fool she was breaking down into.

The memory replayed itself like a bad soap opera in the background as she went through the day. Each time she re-lived it, it just felt needlessly dramatic. In the end, she handed in her month's notice when one of James' clients revealed that there was a spot in their own marketing department for someone like her. Sick of everything, including herself, she had simply wanted out. Two months after that, she was transferred to work under Ben and her career took off so fast as if to make up for the mess that was her romantic life. She was still pining but at least this time, she was pining on a bigger paycheck.

Luna found herself staring at the ceiling late at night, unable to sleep. There was no escaping this dinner. She might as well make it worth her career.

The next three months saw her attending at least one small but notable social function a week. Miracles were also a real thing because they were all James-free. Between her job, her personal life, and plans, the gala was less of a boogeyman than she expected. The first few social events were tough on her stomach, her nerves getting the better of her but she prevailed. Slowly but surely, the fear of running into James, of seeing him again diminished. There were still aspects of these circles she disliked - the masks people always wore, the need to keep wearing the latest fashions, and the pretentious French food that she was very sure not everyone liked. Ben agreed and seemed to make up for it with trips to the burger joint to satisfy the 'proletariat I employed.'

Yet, there were the trade-offs. Her own networks swelled with new contacts and it was with no small amount of pleasure that she heard the words from Ben's mouth. "Let me introduce you to my associate, Luna Siregar," he would say with that warm smile of his whenever she was faced with a new contact of his. "You'll be in good hands."

And it was with that same smile that he looked at her as she stepped out of the Uber and into the foyer of The Marriott Hotel. When she spotted him, she couldn't help but break into a grin. Sure, Ben was tall but he also had that lean figure which made suits hang like artwork on him. Dark hair swept back and his sharp features on full and glorious display. The dark blue velvet dinner jacket and matching black pants with his polished shoes just made him look like-

"Perfection," he breathed her thoughts as he took her hand to help her up the stairs, playfully turning her under his arm to get a good look at her once they were on flat ground. Her exquisite face, the hair... those lips, and those eyes... and what was that perfume? She rarely wore perfume as far as he knew. This time, though, the scent was even woven into her hair. Bergamot and lavender. "Luna, you are a vision."

"Ben, the dress has pockets!" she beamed so enthusiastically that it made him laugh. She explained how great it was that she could have even done without a clutch if not for the dress code before she blushed slightly. "You don't think it's too much? Too costumey?"

He took a step back to admire her as they walked into the hotel proper. The red dress was perfectly fitted around the bodice and cinched her waist before blooming outwards into a wide skirt of tulle and chiffon that cut at just before her ankles; her feet in matching red heels that made her walk in small graceful steps. The delicate fabric wrapped around one shoulder only to calculatedly fall off the other, drawing attention to her petite build. Heads turned but he didn't think she noticed, seeing how she simply enjoyed moving in that dress a lot more than she let on.

"Are you kidding me? You should wear this shade of red more often. It suits you. Really brings out your skin... and this cut. No one will forget you this night." Ben laughed in delight as she shook her head in mild embarrassment before snapping a candid picture of her. "Here. Look," he showed her. She leaned in close and he resisted the urge to grab her by the waist and press her into his chest as she deserved.

"Ugh, delete that. I look terrible."

"Says you," he ignored her, choosing to save the picture of her looking away in mid-turn, her hands holding the skirt out to show it off. Her head bowed just so, her legs crossed so fucking gracefully at the ankles. He just wanted to sink his teeth into that singularly bared shoulder. Hard. "You know you look good. Otherwise, you wouldn't have stepped out of the house. I should have picked you up. I'm definitely sending you home tonight and picking you up the next time we attend an event like this. Let me guess, this is Dior?"

She shrugged, even as she giggled softly, before answering his question. "I think. I have a friend that works for a bridal boutique so she let me borrow one of her dresses."

"Whatever works," Ben kept his hands to himself, grinning in open admiration. She had pulled out all the stops and he was going to let her know how much he appreciated the hard work she put in. She tripped as they turned the corner and laughed as he held out his arm for her to catch. The little points of pressure through the sleeve of his jacket, the feel of her nails stirred in him the desire to hold her by the waist and carry her but he resisted.

"You don't look too bad yourself," she admitted with a slight smile, immaculately painted red lips curling just at the corner hinting to him that she meant every syllable. They paused at a reflective surface, the hotel staff redirecting them away from an area that was closed for cleaning. She glanced at his phone. "We should take a picture. It's not often that I get to dress up and play princess."

He rather liked that term on her. "All right, princess," he chuckled and offered her his arm as she took it, turning to show her profile and lifting one heeled foot off the ground when she leaned against him as he looked down at her, her fingers neatened his pocket square. "Oh, I like this picture a lot," he chuckled when they checked the result. "Like 'a lot' a lot."

"It's not bad at all," Luna nodded briskly, her spine tingled at the sound of Ben's voice. How long had it been since she had a fuck as good as James? But not Ben, she told herself. Never Ben. Ben was good to her and what kind of fool made the same mistake twice? "Send it to me. Seems a shame that I'll need to crop you out of it though. Don't want Jessica getting the wrong idea..." Her voice drifted off in the direction of a pair of tourists who were carrying bags of Wendy's into the elevator.